Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, nor the characters therein.

A New Day


When at last, by the grace of some remote god or other, Inuyasha fell asleep, she continued to stare into the dark nothing of the night. She couldn't cry. She had no right to cry! Not when she'd embarked on this journey of treachery. Not when she had convinced Inuyasha to go with her, where the shards supposedly were hidden, not when she was going to hand him over to a brother who'd shown little apart from disdain in all their meetings, not when she knew she would be killing him anyway by condemning him to a loveless marriage. No, she had no right at all.

Carefully untangling herself from the covers, and him, she headed towards the bathroom.

She looked little better than many of the cursed spirits she'd encountered on her journeys: her eyes were weary and dull, rimmed by large, heavy dark circles; her skin was lacklustre and faded, her hair limp and shapeless. If she hadn't been able to feel her heartbeat she would have expected herself to fade as she was standing.

She was actually beginning to resemble Kikyo: her mouth was harder set, her eyes darker, her gaze more sombre.

She cursed Sesshomaru, and then herself, and then splashing water on her face she looked in the mirror again.

Some colour had returned to her cheeks, but overall, the ghost-vibe hadn't completely left her. She frowned.

No! This would not do at all! She'd entered into this, and she'd have to pull through. Even if by the skin on her teeth. She would keep her word. She would go to Sesshomaru's dwelling place. She would travel on her own with Inuyasha. She would pretend nothing had changed. She would give Inuyasha away.

And she would have to do it all with a smile on her face.

Somewhere in the distance, she thought she heard the gods of fate cackle.

"So, which direction were we heading…?" He reached a hand to help her out of the well.

Kagome hummed for a moment then pointed.

"You sure?"

She nodded.

"And we can't tell Miroku and Sango…"

She shook her head. "If they follow us it might come true…"

"Your premonition thing?"

"Yeah…" She swallowed hard.

"Keh! Well, we're just gonna have to hurry then. Come, hop on!" He crouched.

When she was safely seated he straightened again.

"Alright, lead the way."

"Wench!"

"Hmm…?"

"You ok?"

"Yeah…why?"

"You haven't asked for a break yet." He adjusted his arms around her knees and pushed her up slightly.

"I…I just wanna get this over with."

Inuyasha just keh'd in reply, and the next few hours till sunset melted into the silence between the two.

"We should probably stop for the night." He murmured. "You must be tired."

Her mind screamed at his sudden consideration for her.

"I'm fine."

"Wench, you haven't eaten all day."

"I'm not hungry."

"Don't matter. You have to eat. Can't have you fainting on me or something."

"Why? Coz I'm just human? You think I can't go without food? You think you're the only one who can go without food or sleep?"

"No, coz given the choice I wouldn't have either." His bitter words were like a slap to her.

"Let me down."

"Wha'? Hold on a sec, there's gotta be a place nearby where we can stop."

"Let me down!"

"What's wrong wench?"

"Let me down!!!"

He loosened his arms and let the wriggling girl slip to the ground.

"Kagome…"

"I'm…I need…I need a hot spring!" She spoke more to herself.

"That's what I was trying to say. I can smell one near here. If you get on, it'll only take…"

"No!"

"No what?"

"I…I wanna walk."

She stared at the ground.

"I wanna walk, please."

She missed the pained look on his face as he answered.

"Come on then."

And they were off again.

When at last the spring came into view, Kagome was relieved.

Mumbling a quick request to Inuyasha to set up camp, she was gone before he could even reply.

The tears came even before she hit the water. She cursed and cursed and cursed again, in her mind or out loud, she wasn't quite sure. She cried and she cursed, and she wished she had some powerful saké on hand. Really powerful saké. She wiped her tears messily. Or maybe arsenic. Either one would have done fine as far as she was concerned.

Her heart shook and broke, her body trembled and her eyes couldn't stop melting into messy, stinging, hot tears.

Stupid eyes! She thought mutinously.

Inuyasha's warmth was still imprinted in her body, in her every pore. His soft hair tickling her face as they rode against the wind, tangling in her eager fingers; his voice reverberating inside the four chambers of her heart – it was all too much! Too much! She couldn't give him up!

But she had to.

Wiping her eyes once again, she splashed more water on her face and forced a smile. It didn't work. She tried again. Still nothing. Infuriated she slapped herself.

She had to keep her word. She couldn't blow her entire plan because of how she felt. She had to do this for Inuyasha! She had to! Another attempted smile, and another and another until she was grinning like some grotesque Cheshire cat.

When at last she was pleased with the results she got out of the water and headed back.

I'm not allowed to love him. She bit her lip and pushed the thought away. I cannot have him. She shook her head, suddenly empowered: No…I will give him up when the time comes, and not before!

Satisfied, she pushed aside the branches and stepped into the clearing.

Inuyasha was poking at the fire with a stick. He looked much older in the flickering light. Sombre.

"Thank you for that Inuyasha."

He didn't reply, and she headed towards her bag to get some food.

"Which flavour ramen would you like?"

He shrugged.

"What's wrong?"

He raised his head but quickly averted his eyes and turned back to poking the fire. She saw him shake his head a couple of times, but no answer left him.

"Inuyasha?"

He didn't even grace her with a turn of his head. Kagome's heart leaped: did he suspect something?

"Why aren't you talking to me?"

He turned his head sharply and looked at her with uncertainty.

"You…want me to talk to you?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

He huffed.

"Maybe coz you can't stand to be around me for even a day." He started off angrily, then seeing Kagome's reaction he stopped.

"Am I that bad?"

"What? No! Of course not! You're not bad at all."

"Then are you disgusted by me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

Kagome froze and tried to pick her words carefully.

"I'm not. And you are not disgusting to me."

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow.

"You don't talk to me all day, and when you do it's all how you can't wait to get this thing done with. I'm not stupid. You meant you couldn't wait till you weren't with me anymore!"

He turned his head away abruptly not wanting her to see how much it hurt him.

Kagome bit her lip. This was all her fault. If only she could have controlled her feelings better from the start.

"Inuyasha. I'm really sorry." She walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm…I've just got a bit on my mind now. I promise you it's nothing you did. I'm sorry. I didn't…I was…I'm just worried."

"About what?"

"I…I guess what I saw stuck with me." That much was true, she could see the blood everytime she closed her eyes.

"You know I'll keep you safe."

"I do. I just don't know if I can keep you safe."

"Keh! I can handle myself."

She caressed his cheek.

"I know."

He turned his head to look at her in shock.

"Ka-gome…"

But her hand had already left his face.

"I'm tired." She smiled weakly. "I'm going to go to bed."

"But you didn't eat…"

"I'm not very hungry. Good night."

"You too."

He watched unwaveringly over her for the rest of the night.

Author's Notes: I know it's been a while, and I want to thank all of you for your continued support. Hopefully I'll be able to update more often from here onwards. Yoroshiku ne, mina-san. :)