Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. All the characters and the realm belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

From the Heart

"You play your role most convincingly, priestess."

Kagome refused to answer.

"Now, do try the food. It was especially prepared to cater to your preferences."

"I'm not hungry."

"Priestess, do not irate me! You must eat. What is planned for you cannot stand without you having eaten before hand."

"Oh great, we have a programme?" She quipped bitterly.

"This Sesshomaru does not care very much for your language, girl. You have spent entirely too much time in the presence of my little brother."

"What?"

"Although, I must admit, that particular expletive is new to me."

"Programme?" She asked, sincerely confused.

"Indeed." Sesshomaru sniffed delicately.

"It...is not...an expletive." Kagome was almost horrified – as much as her current, emotionally blank state would allow. "It is a word meaning a planned...routine...of sorts."

"I see. At any rate it will not keep you from eating."

"I won't eat!"

"I will make you, if need be, and I assure you: it shall be pleasurable for neither of us."

Kagome gulped and reached for the nearest plate. Heartache, she found, didn't do wonders for the appetite, but it bore great impact on the need for alcohol.

"No more than a goblet, priestess." Sesshomaru warned.

"What, are you my mother now?" She was beyond caring.

"No, but, it will interfere with the routine."

"So?"

"Indeed, you strike quite the resemblance to my brother."

"Great, anytime I miss him I can just curse at myself."

"You will not miss him, priestess."

"This better not be the beginning of a proposal, Sesshomaru."

He chuckled humourlessly:

"Indeed not. I already am promised. No, it is not a proposal."

"Then, what do you want?"

"To thank you. For taking care of Inuyasha, as you've had."

Kagome's eyes snapped to him in confusion.

"A toast!" Sesshomaru announced royally. "To gratitude!"

Kagome sipped more out of reflex, and still in shock."

"Sesshomaru…" Her voice was gravelly. The room become unbearably bright. "Sess…" She tried to move, but couldn't.

"Rest, little priestess." He whispered softly before the world went black.

Inuyasha spent the night in agony. He'd had Kagome! She loved him! She loved him! She loved him! And now he had lost her forever. His tortured mind argued that, at least in this way, she would have a long and safe life in her world; but images of her surrounded by other men tore at his already broken heart. He had been a right fool, and now he didn't even have the chance to tell her how much she meant to him. If he even tried to find her and run away, he knew, Sesshomaru would make good of his promise to kill her. He hated admitting it, but there was no running from his brother. Besides, it was a matter of honour. He had given him his word – even if it had been under duress. He hung his head.

Kagome!

The unforgiving rays of dawn scratched his wet cheeks.

He awoke grog gily, every particle of him aching with the loss of Kagome. He splashed water on his face. He had a duty, and he was going to go through with it! With a sigh, he ran his fingers gently over the locket at his throat. Kagome! Goodbye, Kagome!

He exited the room glumly.

True to Sesshomaru's word there was a person behind the shoji in the richly furnished room. Kagome's scent wafted from the adjoining room, mingled with that of his brother. This was it. He had to go through it, lest he endanger Kagome's life. Kneeling dutifully, he bowed. The person on the other side of the screen imitated his movements.

"I'm Inuyasha, your future mate." It felt so odd to hear himself say that. He almost sounded like Kouga. He bristled and his heart ached remembering all their fights over Kagome. Kagome! He had to do this for her!

"You're not supposed to speak, are you?" He said remembering Sesshomaru's words the previous day. The girl nodded. There was a familiar tinge to her scent, but he was passed the point of caring.

"So, anyway, I have to apparently tell you all about me. Something to do with starting a relationship based on trust. Keh." He snorted. "I don't even know you!" He paused. "I ain't saying that's your fault or nothin'. Anyway...me...well...first up, I'm a half-breed." He closed his eyes. It was so unnatural for him to talk about himself. "I was born on the seventeenth day of the seventh month in the second year of the reign of Emperor Go-Nijō. My father died protecting my mother and I...and my brother never let me forget it." He muttered. "My mother was mortal. She was beautiful, and I loved her." He paused, trying to regain control over his voice.

"She took good care of me, raised me, kept me safe then she died. The cold blade did no wonders for her weak constitution." He chuckled mirthlessly. "Anyway, after that I came to live with my half-brother. I idolised him and made excuses for him while he continued to take out our father's death on me. Enough to say, I ran away when I realised he wasn't gonna welcome me any time soon. I ain't angry with him no more or nothin'. He has his own problems."

The person coughed softly and he blushed realising he had been babbling.

"Right...anyway, I was chased, hunted, thrown out of villages, and other things that happen when you're a half-breed. Had my share of hatred and humi..." He shook his head. "Nevermind. Fair to say when I met a person who offered me a scrap of bread, as opposed to throwing a whole one old enough to feel like a rock, I became smitten. Didn't hurt that she was real pretty. So, I fell in love."

He had a sharp in-take of breath from the other side.

"Don't get too excited now." He said bitterly. "I loved her because she was kind, and understanding and special and because she knew how I felt. We...we were gonna make a life together. She was the guardian of the Shikon Jewel, y'see. She said one day, she says: 'We're the same you and I.' and I was puzzled, but then she explained how I'm a half-demon and I can't be either human or demon, and she is a human who must act like she's not a human." He sighed. "Made sense when she said it. We were both alone, and she wanted me to become human – that way we could both be just human and stay together. I know she wanted children...pups. A whole lot of them. Woman had a lot of heart to share." Another sigh. "Too much heart. And it killed her. See, at that time she was taking care of this brigand whose body was so burned he couldn't move. He lusted after her." His words dripped with disgust. "For all her wit she was too innocent to realise it. Man offered his soul to demons to have her, then, on the day she was meant to meet me to make me human he makes himself to look like me, and attacks her. Kikyo is mad with anger, comes, sees me with the jewel, shoots me with an arrow and seals me to a tree for eternity."

He sighed.

"Those years were the most peaceful of my entire life. No fighting, no insults…only Kikyo's face haunting me. I hadn't known about the other guy, y'see. I thought she just betrayed me...that she had lied to me." He closed his eyes against the pain. Had he ever told Kagome this? Perhaps it would have made it easier for her to understand. Not that she had ever been mean about his relationship with Kikyo. The lump raised in his throat remembering how she actually tried to protect him from the truth that Kikyo had tried to kill her, tried to protect Kikyo, to save Kikyo, and then suffered when she couldn't. Oh, Kagome. Why had he been such an idiot?

He tried to calm his ragged breath.

"Anyway, fifty years on, this other girl comes from another time five hundred years in the future and breaks the seal. She turns out to be Kikyo's reincarnation. I was pretty mean at first, tho' she didn't deserve it. I was angry…"then in a smaller voice "…hurt over the whole seal thing...and she looked a fair bit like Kikyo at first sight. I mean, how would you feel? The woman you loved betrays you and next time you open your eyes she's there, in your face, asking you to help her. So, I attacked...and ended up with subduing beads on my neck." He played with the necklace for a moment, willing the bile in his throat to go away. Kagome and her spell...gods! He'd miss even her anger!

"So, I find out Kikyo died that same day she shot me...and what can I say? I'm angry, and I'm sad, but anyway, Kagome, the girl from the future, she's given the Jewel to protect, since she's a priestess…then all these demons attack and, when she's trying to get it back she accidentally shoots it into a million pieces. Saved my life, but the Jewel was done for. So we spend all these years trying to get it all back together while the guy that killed Kikyo is making trouble for us. And to make it all better, I'm starting to fall for the new girl."

Another sharply drawn breath.

"Like I said, don't get too excited. Some mad witch brings back Kikyo to life, sticking her soul into a clay body and we find out Kagome and Kikyo share a soul. Then, to make things all the better between me and Kagome, the new Kikyo wants me to go to hell with her and I'm a fool who follows her around like a lost puppy. Kagome puts up with the whole push-me-pull-me while I'm confused as heck and trying to be there for both of them. Then there were all these times where I was lead to think Kikyo died, and each time it was harder for Kagome since I'm an idiot who can't let go of the past. She...tries to comfort me each time, being all supportive and understanding..." he swallowed thickly, feeling all the emotions swirling madly inside him "...and all I can do is hate myself for failing Kikyo and hurting Kagome. Later, Kikyo is actually killed by Naraku – the demon-man who lusted after her – and, typically, it has to happen in front of Kagome. Gods, poor Kagome. Kikyo and I have our final goodbye and I feel...for the first time, like I can actually move on. And I know Kikyo's glad for me coz of that." He smiled sadly. "It took us that long but we both realized we loved each other, and we both understood that we would never be together...and the thing is, we were both okay with that..." A shaky breath escaped him. "But do I get to grieve? Do I get to go away for one night and relieve the pain? No! Because the damned Naraku has other plans for us, and so we move on, and I'm so stupid I can't even see that my pain is hurting Kagome too, until this demon's got me all tied up and half dead, crying tears of blood and almost lost to the world, but for Kagome. Kagome, who's hurting so much more than me, she pulls me back, she saves me! And then she's still the one trying to comfort me when I'm the one who failed her, when I should be grovelling at her feet for forgiveness." The scent of tears wafted to his nose. "Yeah, she cried, too. She always cried for my sake. Even tho' I didn't deserve it. Even tho' I never deserved it."

He shook his head and clenched his hands trying to stop the wave of pain from drowning him.

"So...somehow we defeated Naraku, and we all still have the scars to prove it. Somehow, another year's past and I still haven't told Kagome...I haven't told her how I feel...and, anyway. One day I get hit over the head and I go down like a rock, when I wake up she tells me I've been out for over two moons, and I'd forgotten everything from my mother's death. She...she still stood by me, even then, throughout all that time. Then, I start remembering of what she said, did...when I was stuck acting like a little brat snivelling over his dead mother; and still I can't confess. But, it don't matter. We came straight here and, now here I am." He huffed.

"So, now you know everything. Just lemme say, I will be a good mate. I know you're a pure blood, so I don't know why you're bothering with me, but anyway." He took a deep breath. "I'll never raise a hand to you, I'll protect you and any pups we may have, I'll provide for you, I'll perform my husbandly duties as is required, I'll be gentle. I'll be kind. I won't promise I'll always be calm or polite, but you can rest assured you will have nothing to fear from me. And...I will not stray – I will remain faithful to you, but in five hundred years' time I will leave you for a while. I promise you I will return, and I promise I won't betray our bond, but...you must understand...I will want to see her. Just to see her." His voice wavered.

"I will mate you, and I will live up to the role and be the mate you need, but I will not love you. We may get along, and, in time, if we're lucky, we'll become friends but nothing more. I may have been able to live and love after Kikyo, but not after Kagome. Never after Kagome. So, don't take it personally or nothin'. But, hey, we may become friends or somethin'. What I'm tryin' to say is don't feel bad if I don't act all romantic and stuff toward you. I'm sure you're real pretty and nice and all, but...you're not Kagome and I just can't...I can't...I'm sorry." He lowered his head. Thoughts of Kagome swirled painfully, constricting his heart until it felt it would burst.

"Congratulations, little brother, you are now ready for the ceremony." Sesshomaru swept royally into the room. "Rest assured your little priestess is safe." He stretched out his hand. Inuyasha gaped.

"Come now, we can act civil for the sake of your bride, can't we?"

He was too dead inside to care.

Author's Note: Hopefully this will make sense. Thank you all for so much support and feedback~! It's really lovely to hear from each and every one of you. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to update too often, but hopefully, at some point it will happen. ^^;; Hope you all enjoy this chapter~! ^_^