The Mourning After

Chapter 5

Summary: A look of how Brooke and Peyton have been dealing with things. Thank you everyone for your support. Please review!

Peyton looked over her shoulder and saw Nathan staring out aimlessly outside her car window. After the funeral, she found Nathan hovering over Camilla's grave, Whitey's wife. He broke down and Peyton was there to be a shoulder to cry on. The moment was cut short when Mrs. Edwards, Jimmy Edward's mom came towards them. After a short exchange, Peyton knew she had to get him out of there and offered to take him home.

She hated to see him this way and frankly she felt a little guilty herself. When Haley returned back to Tree Hill, she gave her the cold shoulder along with Nathan. In fact, she sort of encouraged it. Peyton was dealing with her own issues. She felt betrayed by her father, who turned out not to even be her father. She was adopted and her birth mother came back into her life, throwing her world upside down once again.

She took her frustrations and stress out on Haley, even though she really didn't deserve it. Haley was punished enough, even Brooke set Haley straight, but Brooke forgave her and befriended her while others had seemed to turn their backs on Haley. One time, Peyton watched from a distance as Haley almost got into a fight with another girl at school. She was being teased about going on tour and being some sort of big rock star. She wanted to go there and help Haley out, but she didn't and she watched as Whitey had to break up the fight and then there was that time at Tric for the costume party.

--

"Nice wings?" A guy in a Batman costume came up to her.

"Nathan?" Peyton laughed. "I couldn't even tell that was you."

"This is how I can see everything and pretend I wasn't even here."

"Very sneaky Bruce." Peyton responded. She looked over Nathan's shoulder and saw Brooke waving hi to her.

"I hate to say this but you're wife looks pretty hot."

"Haley always looks hot." Nathan responded before walking away. A few moments later, Haley came walking up towards her.

"Hey.. you look great.. are talking to me yet?"

"No but apparently you're talking to me."

"Peyton, I don't understand why you're so pissed off."

"Really? You come back into town after months of being away and pretend like nothing's happened."

"I'm not pretending anything… I'm sorry I didn't staty in touch with you, it was hard to keep up with people."

"Haley, it isn't me. I'm not that needy, but you didn't even call Nathan."

"I did call."

"And anyway, I just don't like what you did." Peyton saw the desperation in Haley's eyes, the sorrow that was behind them. She knew that look too well. She wanted to give her some hope, some slack, to tell her that Nathan just told her that she looked hot, but she didn't. Instead, she walked away leaving a bewildered Haley.

--

After Haley and Nathan started dating and after they got married, Peyton had a much better relationship with Nathan than when they were going out. If he wasn't so into Haley and her own feelings, dealing with Jake and Lucas, maybe there could've been something for them again. But they were both content to have a friend to talk to. She wished she would've encouraged him to reach out more to Haley, to meet her halfway. Peyton eventually reconciled with her birth mother and came to terms with her own problems. She pulled up to the Scott house and the two shared an awkward silence.

"Hey Nathan.. don't blame yourself okay.. cuz the truth is I blame myself as well. If I had been more friendly to Haley when she came back to town.. or tell you to reach out to her…"

"Peyton… look Luke and Brooke were telling me that the whole time and I doubt you saying it also would've changed things.. but thank you for what you're trying to do."

Peyton smiled and placed her hand on his shoulders. "It's going to be okay, Nathan.. everything will work itself out."

Nathan forced a smile, "I hope you're right."

--

After the funeral, a good number of people went to Karen's Café. It turned into an impromptu meeting spot. Lucas was there along with Mouth, Skills and their other friends. Brooke turned around and saw Luke with his friends. She figured he didn't need her to hover around him right now, so Brooke stepped outside to get some fresh air. The past few days have been so bus that Brooke haven't had the time to really assess the situation for herself. Luke was a mess, despite he says and what he portrays to the world. Jimmy Edwards was his friend, Haley' s his best friend and Nathan's his brother. She had constantly been by his side through out everything that happened.

On the street corner, Brooke saw Rachel sitting at a bench there. Her and Rachel haven't been on the best of terms but after everything that happened, Brooke didn't have it in her to carry a grudge. Rachel looked like she was elsewhere, lost. It was a far cry from the confident, sexy girl that she portrayed to the world. Brooke sat on the opposite side of the bench and the two sat there in awkward silence.

"You know Haley pretty well?" Rachel asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah.. I mean we haven't known each other very long but .. yeah.. why?" Brooke asked curiously.

"I have a secret.. two secrets actually."

"Ok." Brooke responded a little unsure.

"I have this ability to ease drop on other peoples' conversations."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I don't think that's much of a secret."

"Well, I overheard what Haley had to say to Jimmy the day of the shooting."

Brookes eyes immediately widened.

--

Flashback

"You want to know something.. Nathan hates me.. I left to go on tour for 2 months and he still hasn't forgiven me.. I don't think he ever will .. this is the man I love.. the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.. the one I gave ALL of myself to and he doesn't want me… I have friends yes.. but they don't know what I'm going through.. to feel as if you are all alone in this world.. so tell me Jimmy, what part of you don't I understand.."

"…"

"Our situations are different and I'm not out to play who has it worse, but the truth is we all hurt.. even the popular ones.."

"I just want them to stop Haley.. I just want everything to end .. but I can't.. I can't now.. not after this."

"Look Jimmy, no one's been hurt.. this is a f situation but you can still fix this.. let them go.. I'll stay with you Jimmy… just let them go.."

"No.. I won't let them go!" Jimmy yelled.

"Yes, you will Jimmy.. because deep down .. you're a good guy.. a good guy who's had bad things happen to you.. just like me.. just like everyone else.. no one deserves to have bad things happen to them Jimmy.. you can end it.. just let them go."

He pointed the gun at her, his hand shakey. She turned to her classmates behind her and signaled them to go. They were unsure at first but they eventually started moving out and towards the door. Mouth and Rachel were one of the last ones to leave.

"You can point that gun at me Jimmy and it won't make a difference. If you think, I'm scared to die.. then you're wrong. Nathan could care less what happens to me and frankly I feel the same way.. but you will let these people go." Haley said in a low voice, almost at a whisper so that only her and Jimmy heard her.

"Haley.." Rachel called out, the gun still pointed to Haley's face.

"Go on you guys.. it's going to be okay.. Jimmy won't hurt me." Haley said as she slowly walked backwards towards the door, where Rachel and Mouth were waiting for her.

At this point, Jimmy had tears streaming down his eyes.

"I just want it to end.. I just want it to end." He kept repeating. "I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry for everything." He pointed the gun to himself and fired.

"No!!" She screamed as she moved forward to him, but as she did the gun fell on the floor and fired another shot.

--

"What're you getting at?" Brooke asked after Rachel told her what she heard.

"I'm saying that.. that I think Haley wanted to die that day."

"No.. you're lying." Brooke said standing up.

"When Jimmy shot himself, Mouth and I immediately went to the floor. Mouth's head was down, but I saw up and saw Haley. She just stood there.. not even flinching .. she didn't even take a step back.. she moved closer to him.. she could've avoided that bullet Brooke.. but she didn't." Rachel said with tears down her eyes.

--

Nathan entered his room and sat at the foot of his bed. He took of his blazer and loosened his tie. He kicked off his shoes and laid back. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He sighed to himself as he saw that he hadn't received a phone call today.

"You look like shit little brother." He heard someone call from the doorway.

"I can say the same thing about you." Nathan retorted back.

"Don't worry, when she's ready.. Haley will call."

"I hope you're right Luke … I hope you're right."

To Be Continued . . . .

Note: I know this chapter is short and I have some explaining to do, but I promise the next one is almost done so the wait won't have to be too long. And thank you for all the great reviews.