The Mourning After

Part II Chapter IV

Thank you all for the feedback and again I am so sorry for my lack of updates with this story. This story was one of my firsts and one where I felt like I had my writing improve so don't think I haven't forgotten it. I have every intention of finishing this story. This story is very angsty but believe me there is light at the end of the tunnel. This chapter is a little short but there are some reveals in here as to why Nathan faked his death and helps set up to where we were in the start of Part II.

Now I've had more time to get my writing in order. I plan to get the ball rolling again on this story again because I'm eager to write the sequel to Thicker than Blood and before I do that, I want to finish this story, Stillness and Behind the Scenes. If you haven't checked those stories out, please do. Stillness is another variation of this story that I had in my head but never used.

With that said, enjoy and please review!!

. . . .

"Why am I with you again?" Lindsey asked as she skimmed through the menu.

"Because your appointment with Mr. Lafferty got canceled." Lucas was quick to point out. Lindsey rolled her eyes. She was a little disappointed that James did not show up. She was looking forward to finally meeting him face to face and discuss the book. They waited in her office for fifteen minutes and still a no show. She left him messages and she hoped that he would return them.

"But did you really have to bring me with you on your date with you ex?" Lindsey turned back to Lucas.

"First of all, it's not a date and secondly, I need back up.. besides Brooke puts the fear of God in me."

Lindsey laughed. "Relax Luke.. I'm sure she's not that bad."

"Still.."

"Oh I get what this is about?" Lindsey said knowingly.

"What?"

"Trying to make Brooke jealous .. or at the very least make her thing like you moved on."

"What're you talking about?"

"Why else would you bring such a beautiful attractive woman with you?" Lindsey mocked.

"Please!" Lucas scoffed. "And besides.. I am over her.. I mean we were high school sweet hearts.. we're obviously not in high school anymore."

"Whatever you say." Lindsey said as she took a sip of her drink.

"What.. it's the truth!" Lucas replied.

A few minutes later, Brooke came strolling through the restaurant. She was a little surprised to hear from Lucas but in the spirit of being mature and letting bygones be bygones, she agreed to meet him. She didn't want to admit it but she was looking forward to seeing him again and taking the extra 30 minutes to get ready for this lunch date could attest to that. But her heart dropped once she spotted him with a blond bombshell next to him.

You got to be kidding me!! Brooke thought to herself. Was this why Lucas wanted to meet, so he could introduce his new girlfriend? She suddenly felt very sick and felt like she was suffocating. She didn't know he was dating someone, she would've found out. He still talked to Peyton, oh she was going to kill her the next time she her. Brooke couldn't believe she came into this.. ambush. She quickly turned around and headed for the exit. So many thoughts were racing through her. It was clear to her that she held onto some hope that her and Lucas could reconcile but it was clear that it was no use. Lucas had moved on and although she was happy for him, she couldn't help but feel very sad and lonely. Who was she to think she could have it all?

"What is it?" Lindsey asked as she saw Lucas looking about.

"I.. umm.. I thought I saw her." Lucas glanced at his watch. "She should be here by now."

"I'm sure she's on her way.. it is New York.. maybe she couldn't find a cab or the trains are delayed."

"Yeah.. that must be it… I mean Brooke wouldn't stand me up, right?"

"No.. of course not.. I mean.. we've already been stood up once today." Lindsey replied.

. . . . .

Haley paced back and forth.

"Okay.. there's Columbia, NYU and Fordham.. those are my top choices.. what do you think?"

". . . ."

"Am I shooting to high? I mean I've been out of school for a while.. what if I forgot to learn?"

". . . ."

"Oh I know this was a big mistake.. I mean I'm being too presumptuous to let them think that I'll even get accepted.. oh my God .. what am I going to do when they interview me… tell them all about my days changing diapers for the last two years… no I'm not going to New York.. big mistake right?" She turned to face him.

::Burp::

"Jamie, dear.. you're supposed to help mommy."

::LAUGHS:::

"Oh come here.." Haley bent over and picked up her young son. "Come on baby.. I need you to tell mama what to do?"

"I think you should do it." A voice called out from the doorway.

Haley turned around and found Deb there.

"Oh Deb.. you scared me."

"Sorry.. but I couldn't help but hear as well.. Haley I think going back to school is a great idea.. even if it's in New York."

"You're.. you're not mad that I don't want to stay here."

"Haley, I don't blame you.. I mean .. you and Nathan were going to go to Duke.. I know it would be too much for you to go there and besides you need a clean break.. both of you."

"But Deb.."

"But.. you have to promise me you two will visit .. often! And that you don't plan on staying up north permanently."

Haley smiled and shook her head. "No .. this is always home.. even if Nathan isn't here.. I'll always come back here.. but right now.. I need .. I need to move forward."

"I know how hard everything has been for you and no one would blame you for doing something for yourself.. in fact you deserve it.. whatever you decide to do.. know that me and Dan will support you in any way we can… Nathan may be gone but you're still our daughter."

Haley tried to keep her emotions in check. "Thank you Deb.. it means so much.. but it's probably useless.. I don't even know if they'll accept me, let alone if I want to go there."

"Nonsense Haley.. look you maybe right but you'll never know if you don't try.. why don't you go visit for a few days.. Brooke is in New York.. I'm sure she would love to see you."

"I.. I don't know."

"Haley.. please .. I'll watch Jamie while you're away .. you can visit Brooke, take in some sights.. see if you like the schools.. I mean, there isn't any harm in going.. if you like it you like it, if not, then at least you'd know."

Haley looked at Deb and knew she had a point and then she looked at her son. She promised herself and him that she would do better and even thought it would be hard as hell, she did need to move forward with her life. This would be her first small steps.

"You're right Deb.. no harm in going.. I'm going to do it.. I'm going to visit New York."

. . . . .

On a lonely rest stop off interstate 95 just outside Delaware near the New Jersey border, Dan Scott sipped his coffee and adjusted his rear view mirror. He checked his watch again and knew he would be here soon. He hadn't seen him in months and he was very much looking forward to seeing him again. He prayed that this nightmare would end, that the suffering that his family have gone through could finally end. Soon, he hoped. Soon.

He checked back in the mirror and saw a black sedan pulling up to get gas. Dan put his drink in the cup holder and started his engine. He made his way to the gas station and parked opposite the black car. Getting out, he flipped open his gas casket and started to fill his tank up, much like the young man next to him.

"It's good to see you, Nathan." Dan tried to play cool, not wanting to sound too excited.

"Hi Dad." Nathan tried to avoid eye contact. He had his sunglasses on and baseball cap on but he wanted to be err on the side of caution.

"What was so important you had to see me? Is everything okay?" Dan stood by his car, putting the gas pump into his car.

"What the hell was Lucas doing in New York?" Nathan went straight to the point. He knew they didn't have much time and there was no point in idle chit chat.

"You .. you saw Lucas?" Dan asked. "But.. but how.. New York is a big place."

"You knew and you couldn't warn me!"

"I didn't find out until last minute.. his publisher is in New York."

Nathan paused as he stood by the pump waiting for the gas to fill his car. A small smile crept on his face. "He's .. he's writing?"

"Yes.. he's going to publish a book." Dan hated keeping things from Nathan but for his son's sakes, they had agreed not to mention what his friends and family were up to. The counselor said that detachment was the best thing for Nathan until he got out of protective custody. So the few times Dan had spoken to Nathan, it was strictly business. There was no mention of Deb, or Lucas and especially Haley and their son. All Dan said was that they were healthy and Nathan accepted and took it. He wanted to know everything and anything about his son, but knowledge would be a drug and he would crave more and he could risk blowing his cover once it got too much. It was already taking everything in him not drive the interstate south and back to Tree Hill. Nathan wouldn't do that, he'd gone so far to blow things now but still, sometimes not knowing was better. He already knew what he was missing, he didn't need to actually know what it was.

"That's.. that's great."

"Where did you see him? Did he see you?"

"At his publisher's office.. I noticed him and took off before he saw me."

"What were you doing there?"

"Umm.. I'm also wrote a book."

"A book.. Nathan, you're not serious!"

"Don't worry dad.. it's not like I used my real name .. I wrote an essay in my writing class and my nosey professor sent it out to a publisher friend he had.. that was a few months ago.. I made it into a book… not like I have much to do anyway." Nathan looked away.

Dan's heart broke. He knew Nathan couldn't do anything. He was taking classes yes but he couldn't do much more than that. His life was on pause until this whole mess Daunte left behind was cleared up.

"What's .. what's it about?"

"Love.. and longing."

Dan nodded and sighed. "Who would've thought .. both my sons .. author's."

"I wouldn't put me on Oprah's reading list yet. .. it'll probably never get published."

"How.. how are you.. is everything ok? Seeing Lucas.."

"Was so hard." Nathan finished for him. "I just wanted to go up to him and say.. here I am .. I just.. I just want to go home." Nathan said barely above a whisper.

"I know son.. just some more time.."

"How much more Dad?! It's been 2 years!"

"I know.. but you know how these things work.. but last time I talked to my lead in the FBI, they are closing in on Bear, they caught a break a few months ago when they found an off shore account Daunte set up before he died. They're using it to back trace the transactions and hopefully find him."

"I hope it's soon."

Dan sighed. "I.. I hope soon too."

"How's.."

"They're ok." Dan said vaguely. Dan wanted nothing more than to talk about Jamie, how big he's gotten, the words he started to say, how he started playing basketball with his Uncle Lucas but then there was the other reality. Haley still hasn't gotten over Nathan's death and Dan knew Nathan would tear himself up when he realized how badly Haley has taken things.

"I miss them."

"I know you do." Dan took out a small envelope from his pocket and discretely placed it on top of the gas pump. "I have to go son.. it was good seeing you.. I love you, you hear me.. we're going to get through this and this whole nightmare will be over.. I promise you that."

"I love you too Dad.. and I hope your right.. I don't know how much I can do this."

"I know me too."

"Do you think they'll forgive me.. for faking my death?"

"You did what you had to do to protect your family." Dan said softly. "At least that's what I tell myself.." Nathan wasn't the only one hiding things from his family.

"Take care son. I'll talk to you soon." Dan said as he put the pump back in it's place and got back into his car. Driving off, he wanted nothing more than to go back and hug his son. He sniffled as he wiped a loose tear that fell from his eyes. He had a long 7 hour journey back to Tree Hill to keep him occupied with his thoughts.

Nathan put the pump back as well and reached around the top and grabbed the envelope his dad left behind. He got back into his car and started driving back north. Once he passed a couple of miles, he pulled over to a deserted highway. He couldn't wait until he got back to New York to open it. He had to see it now.

Opening the envelope, he saw various photos of his son. He had gotten bigger and his hair was a shady blond like his Uncle Lucas. But his son's eyes, they were the same from the first day he was born. He'd knew them anywhere, they matched his own. Flipping through the photos, a huge smile came across his face, but just as quickly his smiled faded and his welled with tears. Clutching the photos to his chest, rubbed his eye, the tears couldn't stop even if he wanted to. He missed his son, missed his wife and missed the life he was suppose to be having with them.

It took him a couple of minutes to compose himself, but he started the engine back up and headed back north along that lonely highway.. back to New York.

To Be Continued . . . .