Welcome to Chaos High

Disclaimer: Don't own these characters other then the few I made up, but if you are just dieing to take them I guess it would be okay if you asked first.

Sabaku Temari was a natural at asking questions. Oh sure we all are but she had it down to an art. As a child everyone thought it was cute, as she got older they all found it to be annoying. She couldn't understand why, she was just doing what she felt everyone should be doing. At first they were innocent enough starting off with ones like why did she have to eat her greens or why she had to wear clothes outside and why she couldn't drive the car. Then as she grew so did the questions like why they had to live with their uncle or why did she have to put the seat down or why did she seem to be the only mature one in the whole group of men, she was a natural at thinking that grew with the times. That was perhaps why she couldn't understand why she had to jump back with her questioning now. Why did she have to ask such a simple minded question that no one else seemed to be able to answer and therefore making her need to ask it now. Why were all the girls suddenly going gaga over Nara Shikamaru?She just didn't get it but since she was who she was and nothing could change that she would have to do the unthinkable and go up to the boy and ask him herself.

She couldn't take it anymore, she had to know and fast! The question wouldn't let her rest until she got her answer. She went up to the lazy boy who was currently being bombarded by the entire Hitori High female population (minus Karin, but she was a freak and therefore didn't count) and when she got through by elbowing her way (quite literally) she tapped the boy on the shoulder. "Can I have a word with you?" she asked as he turned to face her and looked as though he was thinking about it before he shrugged. She pulled him out as he ducked but like radar the minute he left the circle they knew (must have come from their Sasuke obsession days).

"Hey what do you think you're doing with our man?" demanded Ino, a former Sasuke-lover.

"Anything I damn well please!" She snapped back as she grabbed his hand and made a run for it. Shikamaru didn't like this at all. Not only did he have every female after his ass, but now he had to run at an above average pace of walking.

"Can we stop?" he finally asked after about twenty feet of running when she turned around to reply

"Do you really want to?" and she motioned to the crowd behind him as he saw her point and continued on their little journey to wherever it was that they were going. They were never going to get out of this he thought to himself. After all females were a very persistent and stubborn specie, just after living with his mother could tell anyone that!

They entered the school and just when he was certain that they would never make it out of there alive Temari used the oldest trick in the book to trip them off, hide behind a corner. If he had known that was all it took, he would have done this hours ago. But there was no time to think about what he could have done now as the sandy blond turned to face him and win the nonexistent staring contest with her glare.

"What the hell is this all about?" she demanded forcefully but not loud, they didn't know if someone could be lurking.

"What's what all about?" But she hit him hard on the head before he had time to even register if he would say anything else next.

"You have all the girl population turning from Sasuke-girls to… to… you." She said with such discuss it sounded like a disease.

"I don't know." He said as he shrugged still rubbing his head, as dumb as the answer sounded it had been the truth.

"Don't give me that! You can't just have them ignoring you one minute and clinging to you the next."

"But that's the truth."

"Come on, do you have the answers to the next science test or something?" Because lets face it, Guy didn't do notes and kudos to you if you could understand what in God's name he was speaking about half the time.

"No, I'm telling you I just woke up and did what I normally do everyday." Temari decided she wasn't going to get the answers she wanted out of him so she gave him one last long hard look before she figured it hopeless and she'd have to get her answers somewhere else. She walked away with the one thing she hadn't gotten since the death of her parents three years ago, not a single solution to the tearing question on her mind of why.

She couldn't believe it; the Gods had finally answered her prayers. All the trips to the temple had paid off and she had gotten her wish after so many years of patiently waiting. All the Sasuke fan girls were no longer his fan girls and giving her the chance to have the man all to herself. Yes, there truly was someone up in heaven watching over her as all the girls hurried over to the poor sap known as lazy-as-all-hell Nara Shikamaru. This was now her perfect chance and opportunity to shine and become Sasuke's lover and then wife, because now that no girl stood in her way (not that any of them actually had a chance in the first place) she would prove to him once and for all that he belonged with her and her alone.

At first she couldn't believe it, and thought it was some sick joke and was kind of offended that they would choose the indolent son of a bitch Shikamaru over her Sasuke. Why him, why now, why here, seriously why him? The guy once slept outside because he didn't want to get his keys out of his pockets for his house. She looked at the scene of girls and guy before her and suddenly got an idea, this could be good for her in many ways.

"Well I guess this means I get Sasuke-kun all to myself then." She called out only to be ignored by everyone. She usually was anyhow, but with the mention of Sasuke usually one girl at least perked her ears up or made some sort of reaction. "Guess I'm really getting Sasuke on that date he promised me tonight!" She called out again and still no response. At this point she resisted the urge to scratch her head (why did people do that anyway?). "You guys really don't care?" It sounded like a question but was really more of a statement that she had finally figured out.

She was puzzled and at an utter lost as to what was going on, but why wonder when it meant you could have the man of your dreams and not share him with any other loser. Oh sure she wanted to know why everyone else wanted the good for nothing, but you only live once and she wasn't getting any younger. She was only fertile for so long and the sooner she got a ring on the boy the better chance she had a bearing his children. So why not live it up.

She put her hands on her hips and smiled triumphantly at her win as Suigetsu walked by and shook his head, "You know you're a freak, right?" But she brushed the comment off. Nothing was going to get to her today, not even his snide remarks and smart ass ways, but it would be nice if he could let her have her moment.

Life was good, now if only she could get rid of Suigetsu, then she'd be all set.

"Did you see?"

"See what?"

"The talent show?"

"Seriously who didn't?"

"That was something else!"

"Sasuke-kun was so amazing!"

"I heard Shino got some deal with his own band."

"I heard Naruto got suspended."

"Nah, that was Hiroki Yagi."

"Who?"

"I can't believe Kiba didn't play the whole time."

"I heard he doesn't know how."

"I heard he was in love with Sasuke and therefore got him to play with them and wanted to hear what he sounded like."

"He was so good."

"Tell me about it, he should start his own band!"

"Just don't get Lee involved."

"Yeah I know seriously!"

"So really guys… Who's Hiroki Yagi?"

That was how the conversations from the last two weeks went and Kiba actually kind of missed them, for now all the talk was on Shikamaru of all people! He didn't get it and neither did the entire male population of the school (save Sasuke, but that was for obvious reasons). Sure it had only been three days, but still he was confused as to why all the females wanted to talk of Shikamaru and not some stud muffin such as himself. "I don't get it!" He finally said in a sudden outburst after day four with the recently befriended Kankuro (probably because he got such a kick out of the talent show), the quiet Shino and the surprisingly mute as of recent Naruto. "What does he got that I don't?"

"The ability to ace every test without even trying?" Shino suggested which didn't help. They all knew after the first test in their first year that he was an abnormal genius so that couldn't be it.

"Just let it go already." Kankuro cut in, he was getting tired of the constant talk of Shikamaru everywhere he turned. He was just grateful his sister, Temari, seemed to be immune to the whole thing so he didn't have to here it at home (because God knows Gaara would be damned before he mentioned such subjects).

"Yeah but-" But he cut him off.

"Come on man, no more, we already have to here it from everyone else. Don't give him the satisfaction of having you do it too."

"I agree with him on this." Shino chimed in, also getting sick of the discussion that no longer involved him and the talent show where he played one mean bass clarinet. Kiba crossed his arms and "huff"ed to himself but when he knew he was going nowhere with it he asked the other question that had been on his mind since yesterday.

"Hey Naruto, why are you so quiet all of a sudden? Don't tell me Sakura all over Shikamaru is getting to you that badly." But the blond seemed to be off in his own world, as if nothing anyone said or did would break him out of it.

"Hello Naruto, I'm talking to you!" Kiba started to wave his hand in front of the boy but to no avail, he was truly in a world of his own and it seemed no talk of Sakura or any ramen would get him out of it.

"He's been like that since he came back from the principal's office yesterday." Kankuro stated. "Poor guy must have been threatened with the idea of being expelled or sent to the factory if he messed up again or so I figured." He shrugged as they sat down in their desks and got ready for Iruka's class.

"Whatever it was, it must have been horrific…" Kankuro said as Naruto managed to sit and continue to stare now at the floor.

Kiba finally resorted to the only answer he could. "Maybe it was because of Shikamaru after all."

"I told you to stop mentioning that shit man!" Kankuro snapped back as Naruto thought to himself of the scene that he had been thinking of for the past one and a half days.

It had been the usual routine piss a teacher off (in this case Asuma) and go to the principal's office for punishment. He would greet Shizune the secretary at the front and proceed to enter the all too familiar office. But something was amiss today. Why did he hear Shizune's voice suddenly call out to stop him? Why did he open the door to see why she was trying to? Why did he see Tsunade and the librarian Jiraiya (which he knew on a first name basis) who seemed to be in an embrace and practically eating each others faces for over 30 seconds before they even noticed him? Why were they both in a state of shock like he was? Why did she just tell him calmly to return to class and not give him a form of punishment (because he sure as hell needed it now!)? Why was it now Shizune who was getting called into the office while Jiraiya stepped out and tried to make light of the situation with really bad and awkward jokes? Why was he able to make it back to class and not have the teacher or students care? Why was he not able to answer any questions when they did? Why wasn't any of this his normal routine? Why didn't any of this make any sense?

Nothing but whys filled his mind, not any of them with answers.

When he regained speech again maybe someone will tell him what the hell had happened.

"That's it, this has gone far enough!" Chouji, Shikamaru's best friend had had it with the squeals, the fights, the swooning, but most of all he couldn't stand being ignored because of some stupid obsessive girls all over his pal. Sure it had always been funny when it happened to Sasuke, but that was Sasuke! He marched over and practically parted the sea of women to get to the guy and give him a piece of his mind. "What is going on here?" He demanded because there was no time for pleasantries when it had been going on for a week without so much as a word exchange between the two.

"When I know, so will you." Was all he could get out before the girls would be at it again but for some odd reason unbeknownst to him, Chouji seemed to be keeping the girls at bay. Seriously where had Chouji been a week ago?

"He's gay!" Chouji shouted and before the girls could comprehend what was just said about their lover, he grabbed the lazy boy's hand and pulled him away and like Temari before pushed him behind a corner. "You wanna tell me what's going on?" And just like Temari he didn't give him any room to breathe. Since when did his best friend become a girl and so troublesome like them?

"If I knew I'd tell you."

"That better be the case because I can't believe this whole thing."

Shikamaru finally let out a huge sigh and leaned up against the wall beside his friend. "Neither can I man."

"I mean having all these girls and not share any with your best mate is just plain wrong." Catching the other off guard and almost falling to the floor the sluggish excuse of a boy was about ready to chime in when the other went on. "And you smell like shit too. I can't believe all the girls are after you with a stink like that."

And that's when it hit him, the smell! "Chouji, that's it."

"Huh?" He had been bathing in his new axe body wash his mom had given him to "at least improve your appearance" as she said. He had been smart, and yet he had never taken THAT into account. He might as well be a fool now! And just to think he was starting to believe that his personality were winning them over or maybe at least his ability to pass every test with nothing less then an A without even trying.

"You mind telling me what's it, or are you going to sit there." Shikamaru now knew what got all the girls after Sasuke all the time. Why were women so troublesome…?

"Hello earth to Shikamaru! What's 'it'?"

She had to find him, the little brat. That damn Shizune and screw Jiraiya while she was at it but not in the literal way, not now at least, her job could be on the line and she wasn't about to waste the past 22 years of her life on nothing thanks to a blond making a big deal out of the whole thing. There he was, nobody had blond hair like that unless you were Uzumaki Naruto, now she just needed to get him away from the other students in the classroom, shouldn't be too hard, she did it all the time anyway. "Excuse me Kakashi, may I have a word with-"

"Naruto go with Tsunade." He said as he continued to look at his book and write onto the bored without even bothering to look up. Lucky for Tsunade the boy got up without so much as a fight and she closed the door behind him.

"Let's take a walk and get away from the office." Truth was if she went back there she might find another urge to try and fire her assistant, Shizune again. The boy nodded and she was getting a bad feeling like he might not talk to her, not saying that it was bad, but if she ever wanted to make a point with the kid she'd have to be more then a one-way conversation. As they walked down the halls and out to the fresh air outside, she finally spoke. "Naruto, what you saw the other day was…" how did she say this? "A mistake."

Boy that explained it a little too well, because it had been the first time in over three years she had actually given into her sexual urges with the man. Though it hadn't been the first time nor would it be the last. They had had a steady unsteady relationship for the past 15 years with big break ups and even bigger make ups. This had been another one of the make ups or make outs and Tsunade regretted every moment of it especially now that a certain boy had bared witness to it all.

Surprisingly the boy nodded as she thought of what to say next. "I also would like you to forget what you saw. I mean what happened shouldn't have and-" Shzune should have been doing her job is what she would have liked to have said. "Look you just can't say anything okay. My job could be on the line and I am a well respected woman with a good reputation and I don't need you ruining it more then you already have. I mean you're great and all but I just need you to keep quiet about it and I'll do anything to have you keep your mouth shut is that understood? I just- Naruto?"

She had stopped her semi rambling conversation that was part serious with nervous undertones to see that the boy was about five feet away from her with his head down and unmoving. Oh God, what had she said or done this time to upset the child? Seriously she couldn't take much more of this. The boy was enough when she wasn't having to deal with her relationship troubles, but this just made it almost unbearable! "Naruto say something dammit!" She couldn't take the silence anymore it was getting to her. She could understand it from kids like Shino or Sasuke but to have the noisiest kid of all time not talk was driving her crazy!

The boy finally spoke the first words since four days ago after the incident, "Anything…?"

And a smile appeared on his face and Tsunade was beginning to regret more then just her career when it came to the boy.

She had brushed her hair and bought the 'tame the mane' shampoo and matching conditioner. She painted her nails an elegant red and wore the discreetest make-up (in her opinion anyway). She wore the cutest knee socks and wore her big jewelry and topped it off with a big red ribbon in her hair. And looking her best (or as best as you could for Karin) she was ready to confess today. She gave herself one last look in the mirror she straightened out her skirt and her lucky glasses and finally deemed herself ready as she smiled and skipped away and out to her adventure for the day.

But as she got to her destination, everyone else seemed to be next to it, or should I say him. Wait a second this wasn't right why were they all there, shouldn't they have been with that lazy guy Shikamaru? What was going on? She got next to one of the girls she had never bothered to learn the name to, all she knew was that she hated her and even more so at this moment in time as she spoke. "Excuse me why aren't you with Shikamaru?" She spat out with as much venom as she possibly could.

"Why would I want to be around that loser, I love Sasuke-kun!"

But Karin pulled her back and glared at her once more. "That's not what it was like the other day."

"Yes it was you freak, get with the program he's the only man for me. Now you need to back off." And with that she was pushed away and left with nothing more then confusion.

"I- I don't get it. What the hell happened?" She asked to no one but Suigetsu just happened to be there, like always, when she least wanted it (which was all the time).

"Umm… clearly they got bored of him and went back to the man of the year." She stood there in utter shock as Suigetsu just sipped on his ramune and looked Karin up and down before saying, "Nice bow."

This couldn't be happening, she had had him all to herself, and she could have even gotten him to be her girlfriend, what happened and why now? This wasn't fair; this just wasn't fair in the least and to top it off her least favorite person was here to remind her of it all. She clinched her fists and gritted her teeth and screamed out the first word that best described just how she felt in that moment that started with an "f" and it wasn't French fries…

Here is your damn story! I'm semi-happy with the way it turned out. The dream yesterday gave me "some" guidance. But it still wasn't great. Oh well, that's the best you're gonna get and sorry about the last scene, I promise there will be no more Suigetsu and Karin for a while, I just put it in there at the last minute because I thought it would be funny (no joke I was straightening my socks out this morning and was like "what if"… an poof! There it was!)

Nobody was here until almost 7! Can you "believe it"? I can't, seriously I should have slept in. I had some messed up dreams last night, I guess that's what you get when you go to bed at a decent hour. And not one of them pertained to the story you see before you nor will they in the future.

So it's like V-day now so I should have put some loven in there somewhere (other then Shikamaru) but to make it take place at that time in the story it would have been shortened… wait a second, dammit, you already read it!

Did you know there is no spell check for the word dammit? I tried and tried but no dice (dude). I guess it would look bad on a report from a fifth grader's school paper if they accidentally put it on it.

So I've totally been reading DBZ (as if you couldn't tell) and now the whole Freeza story thing makes sense (and sensibility!). Also if you want I could totally write you a story from there. Seriously I'll do a Piccolo and OC… it sure as hell beats writing this crapola! Anyway I hope you enjoyed, can I go now?

PS: Titan Maximum… awesome! PECKS!