Authors note: I have changed the words a little but not very much. Sorry for the really slow update I had loads of homework to get through. Italics are memories/thoughts, bold italics are song lyrics (slightly edited to fit the story) and normal text is present time.
Disclaimer: I own everything in the universe and you are all just my puppets (evil laugh), including Marvel & Disney-not.
If Only
Rogue:
If only you could know
The things I long to say
If only I could tell you
What I wish I could convey
It's in my every glance
My heart's an open book
You'd see it all at once
If only you would look
She knew what she had to do; no longer would she be held back by the rules that had controlled her life for as long as she could remember. She was breaking out!..
If only you could glimpse
The feeling that I feel
If only you would notice
What I'm dying to reveal
The dreams I can't declare
The needs I can't deny
You'd understand them all
If only you would try
...She thought back though all her life, even the parts it was best to forget.
She had had an abusive father; who had always pushed her far too hard from as young an age as two. When she had finally begun to meet and then surpass his standards by the age of five, he had realised something was wrong and had taken her for tests, where they discovered a weak x-gene in her blood...
All my secrets, you would learn them
All my longings, you'd return them
Then the silence would be broken
Not a word would need be spoken
...Her father had been enraged; she hadn't known what to do. So she had run away, not knowing what to do or where to go. That is until she met him...
Remy:
What is it about her
That's so wonderfully, impossibly familiar?
Why do I feel dizzy
In a way I've only felt but once before?
How come when she looks at me
It seems like time stops moving
Almost like the way it did that day so long ago?
But that girl!
...He had been around five at the time. A little girl, not much younger than him, had come running towards him. Her eyes had been brimming with unshed tears and as she had reached him, he had pulled her into his arms. He hadn't known why except maybe, because of an unknown and powerful desire, to simply hold this incredible mystery girl and try to keep her safe from the cruel, cold world he'd had to live through. Even though he had a heartbreaking sentiment; that she already knew it far too well...
Rogue:
If only it were true
If only for a while
...She hadn't pulled away for quite some time, until she finally found the strength to look up at her saviour. She decided to act like her usual chatty self and start asking questions.
"What's your name?"
"Remy, you"
"Ah used to be known as Anna-Marie, but now Ah'm not so sure."
"Why not?"
"Ah ran away; Daddy said ah didn't deserve to be his little Anna-Marie anymore."
"How come?"
He said Ah was a mutant, and was nothing but a curse and a disease!"...
Remy:
Ah, that girl!
....He was taken aback by this, "I thought I was the only one!" He took a deep breath and took off the battered sunglasses he'd been wearing to reveal his red on black eyes. And as they met her green orbs, they both felt a connection that tied them together for eternity and beyond...
Rogue:
If only you would notice
How I ache behind my smile
...As she looked into his eyes she finally found the strength within herself, to break away from the iron rules she had been trained to obey from birth...
Remy:
Where's that girl?
..."They're beautiful"; he hadn't expected that. To this day the only other person who'd liked his eyes had been Rogue, Kurt had maybe understood, but Rogue had always been completely spellbound by his eyes. Come to think of it; so had that girl all those years ago...
"He'll come after me"; those few simple words were spoken with such fear and dread that he had, just for a moment, been terrified himself. He had, from the moment he saw her, decided to protect this girl: and protect her he would!..
Rogue:
I guess you never will
I guess it doesn't show
But if I never find a way to tell you so
Oh, what I would give
If only you could know
...He had planned everything so perfectly, it had seemed flawless at the time (but that might have been because of the leg wobbling grin he had given her); he had planned it so well she had almost fainted from the prospect of what, a few hours ago, had seemed like an impossible dream...
...Back in the present Rogue determinedly started down the minefield of the mansion, firmly intent on saying goodbye to possibly the most important chapter in her life...
Kurt:
(Spoken)Bless you, meine schwester. Remy can have any woman in the state, how can an untouchable Rogue compete with that?
...Kurt couldn't sleep, so he began to port to around the mansion: first the kitchen; the hallway; the Professor's study; the landing...
Oof; "Kurt! Watch where you're porting!"
Now that was one person Kurt hadn't expected to see up this late; especially not fully dressed with a rather bulky rucksack on her back.
"Meine schwester; vhat are you doing?" Kurt was confused, Rogue was happy at the mansion: wasn't she?...Then it clicked; Rogue was running away, and she hadn't even been going to say goodbye...
If only I knew how
I'd make him see the light
If only it were up to me
This all would turn out right
And if I only could
I'll tell you what I'd do
I'd simply wave my tail
And make your dreams come true
And wouldn't that surprise you
If you only knew
...Rogue stared at Kurt with her head bowed in shame, traitorous tears spilling from under her lashes. "Ah'm sorry Kurt, but Ah can't stay here, it just isn't home anymore not since..."
"Gambit left", Kurt finished. "You know Rogue, Gambit chases anything in a skirt. How can he mean more to you than us-than me?"
The answer lingered in the air as Rogue spoke the three words that Kurt knew would lead to nothing but heartbreak.
"Because Kurt; I love him."
Kurt stared at his sister in dumfounded silence. Finally he spoke up, "Rogue, I may not like the fact that you are willing to give up everything for Gambit of all people. But you are my schwester and whatever makes you happy makes me happy..."
Logan:
How could she just suddenly
Completely disappear into thin air?
It's been two whole days
And I don't know where she has gone!
....It hadn't really been two days but it certain felt like it to Logan. He'd woken up to find only a lingering scent of Rogue's perfume, which surprisingly stopped on the stairway: not even reaching the staircase. He needed to speak with a certain blue elf...
Remy:
Oh, that girl!
...He remembered how her "father" had turned up; ranting and raving about how no mutant should be allowed to live. He had stood protectively in front of her, all their plans wrecked in the space of a few seconds. He had grabbed her hand and run. He hadn't stopped to look back. He had hidden little Anna in a doorway, before leading her father away into the richer part of town. He had snuck into the house of possibly the richest family in town. His breaking and entering skills had been exemplary. Her father had tried to follow him but, stupid as he was, had walked right into the first laser beam he came across. He had sprinted back to where he left her, but she had been long gone. The only clue, a small woollen glove she had dropped...
Logan:
If only you'd come home...
...The elf had told him that he hadn't seen Rogue since before she went missing; but Logan could smell the guilt on him from a mile off. Damn, the elf was too religious for his own good sometimes. But somehow he just couldn't seem to shake the feeling that it was his fault Rogue had left...
Kurt:
If only I could help...
...He'd lied, lied to Logan, lied to the one person that could possibly have understood that he was going through.
Five minutes later he'd had enough; "Herr Logan!"...
Remy:
Where's that girl?
...He kept it still, in the pocket of his trench coat closest to his heart. Her face still haunted him in his dreams. Sometimes he saw Rogue with her, they looked similar enough to be sisters...
Rogue:
If only there were time
I know we'd reunite at last
...As she ran through the streets her memories resurfaced like forgotten dreams: a boy, a chase, a raging father. Unlike popular belief, her nightmares were not from the psyches she had absorbed, they were entirely of her own making. She was sure of only one thing, the last time she hadn't followed her heart it had led to nothing but pain and suffering. So she was going to follow her heart to the end this time; even if it killed her!...
Remy:
That girl!
...He'd often wished to find that mystery girl again, always wanted to glimpse her again, even if she didn't even recognise him anymore. He just wanted the chance to say goodbye...
Logan:
If only you'd come back
I'll change my ways!
...He hated now that he'd been so hard on them. Hell, even when the Cajun had become an x-man Logan hadn't let him within two feet of Rogue if he could help it, if only he'd trusted them...
Kurt:
Just one more day, but she'll never find him now...
...He'd told Logan everything: how he'd found Rogue, confronted then comforted her and then helped her to escape by porting them outside the mansions grounds. Strangely, Logan hadn't growled once, he had simply silently accepted it. Kurt thought he might even have seen a glimmer of a tear in the eye of the fierce, tough and independent Wolverine...
Rogue:
But time keeps racing forward
and our moment's almost passed!
...She had checked everywhere: gone into every damned bar and club, the acolyte headquarters, she'd even managed to somehow get hold of Nick Fury and persuade him to help-but still no Remy...
Logan:
I'll try to understand...
...He understood how the elf felt. Hell, he kept questioning himself on just what he could have done to stop her from leaving, but in the end he knew he couldn't have changed a thing, because hewasn't the one she was leaving for-he was...
Rogue:
It has to happen now...
...She'd even considered trying to get hold of the thieves guild, but it was useless. She began to walk the streets, wandering aimlessly until her heart led her feet to a place where logic had no bearing...
Logan:
I'll keep my temper low...
...God if Rogue came back now, even with Gumbo, he'd be a changed man. Maybe he didn't like the guy; but Rogue sure did and whatever made her happy would make him happy (eventually). That is, if she came back at all...
Kurt:
I'd give my life up to make it happen...
...He stood by Logan; hoping, praying, she came back. If only she'd come back...
Logan:
I should have started listening to you all along...
...It was close to 11 when he got the call. Fury had rung him up with news on Rogue. She'd called him for help on finding Remy, but communication had since fallen silent and no one knew where she was...
Remy:
How I wish that girl could have been this one!
...It was true they looked alike, but Rogue had had a lovely family life, even though she had been adopted young. Still; they couldn't be the same girl, could they?...
Rogue:
There's only one more day until I have to go!
...She carried on walking, through the town, lost in a revelation that led her to ignore the constant beeping from her pocket...
Remy:
If only...
He decided to start over with his life he'd try to find that little girl for so long ago then move on. Keep moving on for the rest of his life, because he simply had nowhere left to go...
Rogue, Kurt &Logan:
Oh, what I would give if only you could know...
...Deep down they all had the same wish, to make each other happy, but that didn't mean they didn't all keep secrets they wished they could tell each other...
Remy:
And as I walk away
what will occur?
Maybe I'll find that girl
but I'll lose her...
...He began to walk, his feet leading him to a place, of which his mind was clueless. He slumped down against a crate, lost in thoughts that he couldn't seem to figure out...
Rogue:
If only...
...She carried on walking, ignoring anything other than the constant beating of her heart; while it led her to love...
Kurt:
If only...
...They'd gotten the call over an hour ago now, but the phone had stayed painstakingly silent, until now.
"Logan, I think I've found her...
Logan:
If only...
...Why is it that he could never seem to win with Rogue? But still, better a Rogue with unwanted baggage, than no Rogue at all. But if he needed to go fetch her, he'd do it without a doubt, after all he couldn't let his own daughter go Awol, could he?...
And as she rounded that fateful corner for only the second time in her life; she saw the one person she thought she'd lost forever.
Authors Note: Well that's all for today folks! Sorry again about the late update, I'll try to be quicker with the next one. But please bear in mind, the more people review and give me their ideas, the quicker I'll be inspired to write the next chapter. And a big thank you to Remy A.L who was a big help in helping write this chapter.
Don't forget to keep an eye out for Love will find a Way next time.