The incident with Yachiru reinforced the captains' decision to keep Kenpachi and Toshiro in isolation. Whatever they knew, they had decided that the only way for the two to regain their memories was with their zampakuto. The question was, how would they ever recover them from Heuco Mundo?
Toshiro felt Hyorinmaru call to him nightly. In the day though, Ukitake kept him busy learning all sorts of things. He enjoyed studying, and he learned eagerly and rapidly. Ukitake never showed him the violent skills– it seemed they still worried he might decide to take off some day– but he did teach him flash step, since he was using it anyway and causing a fair bit of damage in the process. But it was Kido Toshiro really wanted to learn. Ukitake only taught him the harmless spells, some healing and barrier spells he could practice. But he mastered them almost immediately and he wanted to know more.
His opportunity came quickly.
One afternoon Toshiro was reading under a tree in the courtyard when his teacher approached.
"What are you reading?"
"The history of the soul society."
"An ambitious choice."
"I'm already half way through."
"You really do love to learn."
"What's wrong?" his student asked perceptively.
"I have to go to join my squad today."
"Is something wrong?"
"Nothing serious, but they're embarking on a mission and I should be there to give them some guidance before they leave. I'll return tonight, help yourself to supper."
"Okay."
Ukitake stared down at him for a second later before leaving. Toshiro knew he was wondering what the boy would do with the freedom. Toshiro decided he would make sure to return before Ukitake so he didn't find out. He tuned into the captain's spirit until it was too distant to feel then he left. He knew the layout of the Seireitei from his book and quickly made his way to the main training grounds of the academy. He was in luck– Kido lessons were in session. He positioned himself on one of the rooves near the training yard and watched with excitement.
There was a lot to learn. Some of the spells were called Hado, they were offensive, more like what Toshiro had done that day he'd killed the thugs. He memorised the incantations, the numbers, everything. He longed to jump down and try himself. Then it was supper time and the classes filed away. He waited until it looked clear, then snuck down. There were rows of target dummies, some smoldering still, some torn, and others untouched where certain students had failed entirely to hit their mark.
"Hado 33!" he yelled.
He had seen the instructor do it without the incantation and wanted to try it himself. He felt the build up of energy and released. He didn't produce quite the right effect and the dummy disappeared in a ball of blue energy. It kept going and smashed the far wall to pieces.
"Oh shit." Toshiro braced himself to flash step but someone had already seen him. He wasn't a coward so he stood down and waited.
"You! What the hell are you doing?" It was an older student, followed by a number of others. Attracted by the commotion, some full fledged soul reapers appeared.
"Are you a civilian?" someone else asked, noticing that he was not wearing soul reaper clothes. He said nothing as they crowded toward him, but began to feel claustrophobic.
"You're just a kid, what are you doing here?"
"Who said that?" he challenged.
"Enough!" The students stiffened and stood back. A tall soul reaper in a white hiroi walked past them. He had tattoos all up his neck and over his eyebrows, reaching into crimson hair. He froze when he saw the boy in the middle of the crowd.
"Captain Hitsugaya!" he stammered. Shock rippled through the crowd. Toshiro knew he should have run from the start. The captain collected himself. "You aren't supposed to be here."
"I know."
"Where is Captain Ukitake?"
"He had to meet his squad."
"What were you doing?" He asked glancing back at the smoldering building.
"I tried Hado, but I skipped the incantation so I think it went wrong." Another wave of shock went through the crowd.
"You did that without an incantation?" Renji muttered. Then in a louder, more authoritative voice he addressed the mob of students. "Okay, show's over, back to whatever you were doing." Reluctantly, the students filed away. He turned back to Toshiro. "You need to go back."
"I will, but show me the spell first."
"What spell?"
"Hado 33."
"No, time to go back."
"Fine, I'll just try again."
"No! Wait!" Toshiro smiled. Renji's shoulders slumped, he was defeated. "Fine, but its not really my strongest skill."
He raised his hand and spoke the words. A concentrated light manifested and he struck the mannequin with a controlled shot. Toshiro took a stance next to him and tried. His shot was perfect.
"I see. The spell gives you time to concentrate and manipulate the energy." The boy murmured.
"I guess, I don't really..."
"Now I can do the others..."
"No, you need to go home."
"I am."
"And not do any kido when you get there."
"I won't."
Renji gave an exasperated sigh and grabbed Toshiro's upper arm. "Come here. I don't trust you." They flash stepped away back to Ukitake's manor. Toshiro twisted out of Renji's grip and when to the kitchen.
"You can go now." he said.
"Man, you sure got rude. No way, I'm staying here until Ukitake gets back. He should have never left you on your own. He trusts you too much."
"Shut up. Who are you anyway?"
"I'm Renji Arabai."
"You're a captain, aren't you. What number are you." Renji's face tightened. "What?"
"I'm the captain of squad of ten." Toshiro's hand paused as it reached for an egg. He looked at Renji for a long moment then resumed his work, saying nothing.
"I didn't mean to replace you. We just thought you were...you know."
"Actually I don't know what you thought but it doesn't matter. I'm not the person you remember anymore. Anything he had died with him."
"Toshiro..."
"Its true. I lived for ten years not knowing about Captain Hitsugaya so why should I start trying to resurrect him now?"
"So you really don't remember anything."
"No."
"Hyorinmaru?"
Again, Toshiro's hand paused, mid stroke as he beat his eggs together in a small bowl. He sighed. "He's trapped in Heuco Mundo."
"I know, but if you could get him back, you could get your memories back."
"I told you, I'm not that person."
"But what about everyone who misses you? Who mourned you?"
"They mourned him. Its not that hard to understand, you must be slow."
"My lieutenant, she was your lieutenant. She's wanted to see you ever since you got back, its been torture for her to stay away."
"Rangiku. We met."
"And you felt nothing?"
"No."
"I don't believe you."
"Fine."
He poured the whipped eggs onto the frying pan and threw a few strips of cheese into the their midst. Renji watched him fold his omelette together and slid it onto a plate. He ate ignoring the presence of the other.
"What's going on?" Toshiro said after a bit.
"What do you mean?"
"Everyone is all stressed, I feel it." Renji cursed to himself. This kid didn't even have a zampakuto and he was still more in tune to spiritual pressure than him.
"Nothing." he lied.
"You suck at lying, Renji."
"Its captain Abarai." The boy choked on his food. Renji stood up alarmed. He saw the pained look in his face as he eventually swallowed and it dawned on Renji what he'd said. How many times had the little captain spoken those words to Momo, to Ichigo?
"I'm sorry." he said.
Toshiro ignored him. He was still contemplating whatever memory had struck him.
Renji stayed silent, he'd already done enough. Toshiro finished eventually and washed his dishes. He was still the neat and clean Captain Hitsugaya, and according to how fast he read his giant book, still the same workaholic, Renji thought. He watched him all night, the boy ignoring him, going about his routine as if he wasn't there. Then it was late, he was yawing. He seemed to feel some bit of competitiveness with Renji and he realized the boy wouldn't go to bed until he relented.
"Its pretty late. I'm about ready to fall asleep." he bluffed. The boy eyed him.
"Then go home."
"No, I want to talk to Ukitake when he gets back. I think I'll crash on the couch."
"Fine." Toshiro muttered. He watched the captain go into the foyer and stretch out on the couch. A few moments later he slipped silently into his own room.
Toshiro woke with the sun, waiting for Ukitake to come in and give him a lecture about his actions the day before. But no one came. He went out into the foyer and found Renji there, awake, sipping tea while he munched on a biscuit.
"Where is Captain Ukitake?" Toshiro asked wearily.
"Toshiro." the man looked around and Toshiro saw that Renji had dark circles under his eyes. He'd been up all night. Toshiro felt a wave of anxiety. Renji's face softened and he spoke calmly. "Captain Ukitake has a condition. Sometimes he gets sick..."
"Where is he?"
"Calm down. He strained himself a bit too much yesterday. He's with Captain Unohana in the healing house."
"I'm going."
"Wait. He needs rest." Toshiro paused. "Now you get yourself breakfast and I'll check with Captain Unohana to see when you can go visit."
"Okay." he said, suddenly meek. With a pang Renji realized that the boy had become very attached to Ukitake. He suddenly seemed as young as his appearance. He wished he could have Rangiku with him, or Rukia, he was shit at these things. He sent a messenger and waited. Toshiro wasn't gone long. He reappeared, impatient and anxious only ten minutes later.
"I still haven't heard back." Renji explained. Toshiro made a frustrated noise and returned to his room. When Renji looked in on his he saw he was buried in the next volume of the Soul Society history.
"Oh, this war." he muttered to himself. The messenger returned. He reported that Unohana said Toshiro could go that afternoon but he had more information. Ukitake, Rukia and the others had been on an important mission that night. They'd found a secret portal connecting their world to Heuco Mundo. Aizen was spying on them. It was in this search that Ukitake had fallen ill, and though it was really nothing to do with their on-going battle with Heuco Mundo he cursed Aizen.
"Who is Aizen?" Toshiro had come up behind him silently.
"The enemy." he responded shortly. " You can see Ukitake after lunch." The boy exhaled deeply but didn't argue. There was a knock at the door. Renji opened and saw captain Kyoriku with relief. Behind him was Zaraki.
"Good morning Renji!"
"Captain Kyoriku, I'm glad to see you." he said with just a little too much relief. He tried no to stare at the ex-squad eleven captain who entered behind him.
"Kenpachi and I thought we'd stop by since you two were on your own." when the other two had moved away to the kitchen, Renji whispered a thanks to Kyoriku.
"A lot to handle is he?"
"A lot of attitude, even for the Hitsugaya we knew. I think Kenpachi's rubbed off on him a lot. But he didn't take the news well. He seems so..."
"Young."
"Yeah."
"How is Kenpachi?"
"He is exactly the man he was when he left, he just doesn't remember. Other than losing his memory, I don't think he was much affected by what happened ten years ago."
"Because he isn't closely connected to his zampakuto?"
"Exactly. Even Mayuri was very childlike when we finally found him. Its more than losing memories, its really as if life starts over."
"So he really is like a ten year old."
"In a way, but living with Zaraki caused him to grow up pretty quick."
"What were they doing all those years?" Renji murmurred.
"I would love to know." Kyoriku said half smiling as he watched the two most diametrically opposed captains in the Soul Society as they talked together intimately.
"You're really worried about this guy."
"So what if I am?" Toshiro shot back hostilely.
"Nothing. Its just not like you."
"What do you mean? We never stopped anywhere long enough for me to make any friends."
"I don't remember you ever getting upset when I got hurt."
"'Course I did! You were just unconscious."
"I'm touched."
"Shut up." Toshiro punched his friend in the leg; Kenpachi looked down at him.
"You've gotten stronger."
"'Course I have!" he said. "I've been training. What have you been doing?"
"I'll show you!"
Kenpachi took a stance and began building his spiritual pressure. Toshiro felt himself being pushed into the floor but didn't fall flat like last time. He laughed. They vaguely heard Renji and Shunsui yelling that they would bring down the house.
"This is awesome!" Toshiro yelled.
"Try to cut me!" Zaraki thundered.
"What?"
"Just do it!" Toshiro shrugged and grabbed a knife from the counter. Again they could hear strangled noised from the two captains who tired to make it to the kitchen but ignored them.
Toshiro swung the knife and slashed Kenpachi, wincing slightly. Nothing happened. He looked up impressed and Zaraki slacked off on his spiritual pressure.
"Whoa."
"I know eh?" Zarakai laughed.
"We could take down anyone in the whole world like this."
"Shortens up the fights this way though."
"True."
"Okay, you two. Enough playing around before you kill someone– like us." the two captains came into the devastated kitchen. Pots and plates and utensils lay everywhere, knocked down by the spiritual pressure and among them stood the boy holding the knife up to his friend.
"Fine." Toshiro replaced it in it drawer and began cleaning the kitchen.
The second they finished lunch Toshiro was ready to go. Kyoriku relented.
"Okay, but wait for us." They left together. The moment they arrived, Unohana instructed them one visitor at a time. Shunsui nodded and Toshiro shot into the room.
"Captain Ukitake?" he said, sitting on the stool next to the man's bed.
"Toshiro. You look upset. Were you worried about me?"
Toshiro said nothing but gave the slightest nod.
"Thank you." Ukitake said looking genuinely touched. His face was paler than normal but he was sitting upright. "I'm sorry Toshiro. I should have told you that I get sick sometimes. Its something I've had for many years, and though it looks bad now I will get better soon. I'm used to it."
"Okay." Toshiro said quietly. He had waited all morning but now he had nothing to say.
"How is your book?"
"I'm on the second volume now."
"Very good. What did you do yesterday?"
"I tried Kido." Toshiro admitted immediately out of some unexpected guilt. "I left and went to the training ground and watched them. Then I tried and blew up a wall. Renji caught me and took me home but he wasn't really that mad because he showed me how to do a Hado 33."
A number of emotions flashed through the sick man's face as Toshiro bluntly told the story but in the end his face split in a wide smile and he laughed. Captain Unohana came in. Toshiro knew it was time to go so he stood but he looked at Ukitake very seriously.
"I won't sneak out again, I'll wait until you get better."
"Thank you, Toshiro." It was the best apology he'd get from the boy. Toshiro left and Unohana smiled.
"He really admires you. You are very lucky."
Ukitake watched the door slide shut behind the boy and smiled, "I know."