I no own, you no sue!

--

"So wait, let me get this straight. You and your twin brother are part of a super advanced species of alien robots – mechs – and you are warring against other alien mechs, called the Decepticons, for a magic cube that grants your people life? Okay, after everything I've been through, I'll buy that, but how are you twins if you don't reproduce sexually?"

The large being stared down at her angrily, eyes blazing in agitation as he muttered, "Primus, I'd squish you, but I just got my paint retouched."

"The Allspark," began Sunstreaker, voice betraying his annoyance, "is not a 'magic cube'. It is the spark of Primus, the creator of all Cybertronians, or people from my home world, Cybertron. When it creates a spark, or soul, as you would call it on Earth, a medic will build a protoform, or body, to house it. Over time, this protoform will be upgraded until it reaches around seven hundred thousand vorns old. That's when a Cybertronian reaches 'adulthood'. Before you ask, a vorn is approximately eighty-three Earth years. Sometimes, a part of a spark will not want to disconnect from Primus' spark. When this happens, which is extremely rare, the spark will split in half, forming 'twins'. My brother and I are essentially one person, but with two distinct personalities. Do you understand that, fleshling?"

"Okay, enough with the name-calling!" shouted Bella. "I'm not calling you, I dunno, Toaster Boy, am I?"

"Whatever," mumbled Sunstreaker.

"Okay, so I think I get that. But then, why are you here?" inquired Bella, feeling marginally better after screaming at the robot.

"I already told you," sighed Sunstreaker exasperatedly, "I'm filling in for my brother."

"Yes, I get that, but why? Why do you need to fill in? Why do I need protection in the first place?" Bella questioned.

Sunstreaker simply glared. Slowly, deliberately, he shifted back to the lithe, sleek Lamborghini he had been earlier, door popping open with a grumbled, "Get in."

A small voice in the back of her head, one that sounded unequivocally like his, warned her that it was a bad idea, that she could get hurt, that she should just walk home.

'But he isn't here,' she reminded herself, calmly climbing into the driver's seat.

And Sunstreaker drove away.

--

After nearly an hour passed in silence, Bella was beginning to get restless. Shifting around in her seat for the hundredth time, she found herself incapable of getting comfortable within the frighteningly beautiful mech. Letting out a small groan, she curled her back against the seat, sighing happily at the small series of pops that came from the motion.

"Don't do that!" growled Sunstreaker, surging forward at a speed Bella didn't even want to think about.

"Do what?" she asked to distract herself from the growing nausea she felt at his speed, having the distinct notion that he would not appreciate having her throw up inside him.

"Whatever that just was! Where your spinal column made those noises!" he barked, disgust dripping from his tone.

Bella grinned, feeling slightly mischievous, and replied simply, "Okay."

The inside of the radiant Lamborghini was silent for a moment.

Pop! Snap! Crack! Pop!

"Grah! I told you not to do that! It's disgusting!"

Bella giggled, retorting smugly, "You told me not to pop my back. I was popping my knuckles. There's a difference."

"Fine, do not pop any portion of your infrastructure!" he shouted irately, and the cabin fell silent.

P-P-P-P-Pop!! P-P-P-P-Pop!!

"Son of a glitch!!! Flesh creature!!! What did I just tell you? Slaggit! I swear to Primus above I am going to kill you!"

Bella barely managed to reign in a gout of laughter. She hadn't been this happy in… too long.

"But you just told me not to pop anything," she innocently answered. "I was cracking my neck."

If Sunstreaker could twitch, Bella had a feeling he would look like an epileptic.

"Cease making noise with your infrastructure," hissed the Lamborghini.

Silence...

Thap! Tha-thap! Thap! Tha-tha-thap!

"Fragging, slagging Primus's lug-nuts in the Pit!"

This time Bella had to laugh, but between gasps for air she managed to get out something to the effect of, "I was - snort - sn-snapping my - kh-heh - my fingers t-to a - ch-ha-ha-eh-ah - a good song!"

The car stopped.

Slowly, Bella regained some semblance of control, but what sobered her up completely was when Sunstreaker's voice filtered through the speakers, dark and foreboding.

Slowly, with a calmness that reminded her of the serial killers in horror movies, he intoned, "The next thing that snaps, cracks, or pops on you is going to be snapped, cracked, or popped off of you, understood?"

Sunstreaker's engine revved in a blatant gloating of power as Bella sighed sadly and rested her elbow on the door, gazing absentmindedly out the window at the rushing foliage.

'Alice would have laughed her pixie ass off at this.' thought Bella sullenly, wishing she could see her sister.

She nearly snorted as she amended, 'She would have laughed her pixie ass off, then insisted we go shopping for something that would commemorate my brilliant prank.'

"If you get mucus on my interior, human, you will regret the day your progenitors were born."

'Geeze,' thought Bella, glaring at the steering wheel. 'What crawled up his ass? Wait, does he even have an ass? Well, he is a ro- mech. He's a mech. Hmm… probably doesn't.' Bella giggled as an image of giant toilet paper appeared in her mind.

'Charmin Ultra Magnus! Soft and comfortable for mechs of all sizes!'

Bella cackled madly before noticing the voice that filled the cabin.

"-sure you're not crazy? I've seen triple changers who are more mentally stable, and being crazy is practically a requirement for being a triple," groused Sunstreaker.

Bella blinked oddly and asked, "What's a triple changer?"

An exasperated sigh wafted from the stereo, but Sunstreaker explained, "A triple changer is a mech who has two alternative vehicle - or alt - modes and one robot mode, so they can be three different things. Unfortunately this usually leads to processor - or brain - instability."

"Oh, okay," Bella nodded, understanding.

For a while, all was quiet, until Bella got bored.

"Hey, Sunstreaker?" she inquired, breaking the silence.

"Yes, fleshling?" he shot back, clearly still angry about her joke.

"Do you have an ass?"

The engine faltered, then...

"Why in the fragging pit would I want to keep a four-footed equine pack animal?"

Bella snorted, trying desperately not to laugh, and revised her question to, "No, I mean, do you, y'know, excrete wastes, er, or something like that?"

Sunstreaker scoffed, "We are nowhere near as inefficient in bodily waste management as you pathetic organic creatures. And would you please stop shedding?"

"Shedding?" Bella nearly shouted, anger evident in the pitch of her shriek.

"Yes," answered Sunstreaker in a nonchalant tone. "You have been shedding long fur on my interior since this morning. I demand that you cease and desist this instant."

"I do not shed!" Bella screamed indignantly.

"Yes, you do. And it is making my interior itch," argued Sunstreaker.

Bella huffed angrily; glaring daggers at the dash board as she folded her arms over her chest and pouted in silent rage as they continued on to a destination unknown.

--

At some point, Bella wasn't sure quite when, her resolve had given way to her sleep-deprived brain's demands and she had drifted off, her head propped against the window and snoring softly as her dreams swirled around Edward.

What had woken her was, to her amazement, the soft, almost empathetic cooing of Sunstreaker.

"Hey, human, we're here. Wake up," he had murmured as she slowly clawed her way to the realm of waking life.

Bella's eyes fluttered open and she yawned widely, stretching her body to the sound of satisfying pops and snaps ('Why isn't he bitching about the noise, now?' she wondered.).

"You're awake," Sunstreaker stated, gruffness edging its way back into his tone.

"Um, yeah. Sorry for dosing off," she replied, rubbing her eyes.

"You talk in your sleep," he pointed out.

Bella blushed; opening her mouth to ask what she had said when she noticed they were driving dangerously quickly toward the edge of a lake.

"Sunstreaker, I really think you should stop! Like, now!" shouted Bella, pressing her foot madly against an unresponsive break pedal.

Instead of slowing down, the red Lamborghini accelerated, speeding to the dock's end.

In a last, ditch attempt to survive, Bella pulled the emergency brake.

Tires squealed, locking up as the Lamborghini continued off the dock's edge, Bella screaming all the way as water filled her field of vision.

Then, the world went black.