YAY another chapter. this one was really fun to write, and it's really really long, so be happy. this is remus' story, but i depth (kind of.) i hope you enjoy it! oh, and i thought that since tonks' hair has to do with her emotions, i chose navy blue, because it's kind of vulnerable and scared (in my opinion). anyway. onward!

disclaimer: not jkr, you should know that by now.

Remus sat at a secluded table in the corner of the Leaky Cauldron, tapping his foot impatiently. She's 15 minutes late. I wonder where she is. I hope that nothing happened to her. He thought. Suddenly the door burst open, and a short witch with navy blue, wavy, hair flew in, quite literally. She had a wild look in her eyes as she walked up to Tom, the barman.

"Wotcher Tom. Is a Remus Lupin here?"

"Yes, ma'am. Right over there in the corner."

"Thanks Tom" she said as she turned, nearly falling and walked to where Lupin was sitting. Oh my god, oh my god. This is it. I'm going to have my first conversation with a werewolf. I hope nothing goes wrong. I hope he thinks that I'm not awful for not liking them. Here goes nothing. Tonks thought anxiously.

"Wotcher Mr. Lupin, my name's Tonks. Just Tonks." Tonks said, trying to hide the fear in her voice.

"Hello there Tonks. Your cousin told me about you, and how I should call you," he paused dramatically. "Nymphadora." After Tonks' hair went back to navy blue, she realized that he was making fun of her. He was teasing her! Who knew that a werewolf could be funny?

"Ok, I guess we should get started." She said, sitting down.

"Er, before we start, I just want to tell you something. Moody told me about you phobia. Don't worry, I won't harm you, I promise. I just want you to know that I'm careful, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you."

"How do I know I can trust you?" She whispered looking at the table.

"Look into my eyes, and I will tell you again. I want you to see the honesty that shows, alright?"

Slowly she lifted her violet eyes, to look straight into his chocolate brown ones, and becoming ensnared. Wow, he has very nice eyes. They're like melting chocolate she thought to herself, feeling a smidgen better already.

"Nymphadora Tonks, I promise that I will not harm you in any way. Today you are here to hear my story, and that is what I will tell you. I will do nothing more. No luring you back to my flat, no talking to you as if you were food. I just want you to trust me, ok?"

She looked at him for a long time. His eyes burned with sincerity.

Very slowly she said, "Yes, I trust you. Now, let me hear that story."

"One thing before I launch into it; it's not a pleasant story. It has much betrayal, loss, sadness, and loneliness. I just wanted to prepare you."

"Thank you, that is very considerate." She took a moment to collect herself. "I'm ready."

Lupin sighed and began the woeful tale that was his life.

"It all started when my father insulted Fenrir Greyback. To get back at him, Greyback decided to bite me. When I was younger, the full moons were fascinating to me. I'd always go out my window and sit on the little balcony that was right outside my room and just watch it. So one night, when I was five, I was out on the balcony when I heard a rustling under me. I looked down and saw a shadow. Before I could react, he was there. He has climbed the vines, and was on the small extent of concrete. Before I could scream, he lunged. And I was bitten."

Tonks gasped. She was so glad she was a witch and could use a pensive instead of having to write it all down.

"My father came to me when he heard the commotion." Remus continued, not looking at her. "He sent Greyback away and apparated me to St. Mungo's. They could only clean me up. There was no cure for the scars, no potion for the transformations. I stayed in St. Mungo's until the week after the next full moon. I was there for five weeks. That was the worst night of my life. The transformations, they hurt so much. I wanted to die; at that first moment, when the wolf was coming out for the first time, I wished that Greyback had killed me, so I didn't have to go through that. It was worse that I knew that I had to do it every month for the rest of my life.

"After that first full moon, my life went back to normal—or as normal as you can get as a five-year old werewolf. The time came when I was about to turn 11. My parents were all set to teach me at home, because what school would want a werewolf? Then we got a letter from Dumbledore. He said that if the proper precautions were taken, then I could attend Hogwarts. I was overjoyed. For the first time since I was bitten I was being accepted somewhere.

"My father wrote him back immediately with what I needed. A place to transform, a fail-safe guard, and utter secrecy. They came up with a way, and on September first, I was on my way to Kings Cross Station. I got on the train, not expecting anyone to want to sit with me, but no sooner had I stowed my trunk, two boys came in. One had jet black hair that was untamable, with grey eyes, and circular glasses and the other has long brown hair that fell around his face in a casual handsomeness. They introduced themselves as James Potter and Sirius Black, respectively. I finally had friends."

Tonks was silent. The story was so gripping. Remus was so eloquent, and the words tumbled out, as if they'd been waiting for this moment; to be freed.

"I went through school as a Marauder, causing trouble, and being a pest. Mind you, I was the best one of the lot. Every month, Madame Pomfrey would escort me to the Whomping Willow, and I would take a secret passageway to the Shrieking Shack. It was there that I made my painful transformations. In my fifth year, my friends, James, Sirius and Peter, achieved the unthinkable; they were animagi. James was a stag, Sirius a dog, and Peter, a rat. They could all fit under James' invisibility cloak, and they would join me. I stopped hurting myself, and it became easier for me. I was able to keep my mind better. This was before Wolfsbane Potion. I was prefect when I got to fifth year.

"I watched Sirius' girlfriends come and go, as well as James'. Each time they ended it, I wondered why. I would have done anything to have someone care about me, and not shy away from me. Then, I met Rosa. She really liked me for me. And I liked her back. We had it great. It was some of the best weeks of my life. Then finally when I thought we'd gotten close enough, I told her the truth. I told her what I was. It was a huge mistake. She immediately left me, screaming how I could betray her trust. I was a filthy dangerous monster. I don't know how I could have loved you. I was hurt. I'm still hurting from what Rosa did to me. I realized then that I wasn't meant to love. I was a monster; not worthy of love. I haven't dated since, no matter how strong the feelings."

Tonks had the craziest desire to hold him. To hug him and rock him and tell this man that she would be his friend, no matter what. Wait. I thought I was scared of these creatures. Now I want to say that I'll be his friend through everything? What am I thinking?

"I left Hogwarts and went in search of a job. James and I decided to go the Auror path, but when it came time for the physical examination, I had to tell them I was a werewolf, and they forbade me from becoming an auror. James found out and went ballistic. He refused to continue as well. I felt awful. So I continued looking. It was hard; no one wanted to employ a werewolf. I finally found a job that was alright. It gave me money to pay the rent and bills and that's all I cared about. My employer didn't even care I was a werewolf.

"Then the decree came out. Dolores Umbridge," his eyes narrowed as he remembered that moment. "Made a decree which made it near impossible for me to get a job. And even if I had a job, I was only aloud one knut an hour. Not nearly enough to get on by. I had nothing else to do, but to move in with James. I was miserable. But I still had my friends.

"James and Lily were getting married. I was so overjoyed. Another ray of sun on my life. Their wedding was a great affair and I had fun. For the first time in years, I was having fun. They had a little boy, Harry. He looks just like James, but with Lily's eyes. He was a happy baby. I visited them a lot. When he came, I went to live with Sirius. A year later, disaster struck again. Voldemort" Tonks involuntarily shuddered at the name. Lupin didn't notice and went on. "Came, and murdered James and Lily. But he failed to kill Harry. Sirius was supposed to take him, but Dumbledore insisted he go to his aunt and uncle. The next thing I knew, my other best friend was in Azkaban for killing 13 muggles, and Peter Pettigrew was dead. I was alone. I had nowhere to go. Dumbledore helped me to get a place and he gave me enough money. He's supplied me with enough money to live, but barely. I won't let him give me any more."

Tonks' thought her heart would break, Lupin was right. This was a sad story. She couldn't believe the horrors he'd lived through. She made a resolution to watch over this man. This resolution startled her, but she found that she was not as frightened of him as she had been.

"I got a job at Hogwarts in Harry's third year. The first time I saw him, I was startled at the resemblance. Quite a few times I thought I was talking to James. Then yet another disaster. Sirius Black had escaped and dementors were swarming. They affected Harry especially badly because of his past. I offered to give him dementor lessons. I taught him how to make a Patronus. It took a long time (though I wasn't surprised, he was 14 and making an attempt to form a corporeal patronus), but when he did, it was a Stag. What James' had been. Then, as soon as I was starting to become friends with him, many things happened at once. A hippogriff was sentenced to death, and Sirius got onto the grounds. Harry, Ron and Hermione got lead by a rat into the secret passageway, and waiting for them was Sirius. It was tense. There was a lot of shouting and explaining. Snape got into the brawl, and ultimately it lead to the students being exposed to me as a werewolf who was not safe. I'm only safe when I take Wolfsbane. Ever since that year, Snape makes it for me, flawlessly. I was a danger to them. I didn't know what to do. If I hurt them I'd never forgive myself. Snape saved them, and all was well. Except that the rat, who was actually Peter, escaped."

Lupin saw the confused look on Tonks' face.

"That is a story for another time. But Harry and Hermione managed to use a Time-Turner, and save the hippogriff, and help Sirius escape. He's now well hidden. But, he is innocent. That is essential that you know this. Now the hippogriff and Sirius are in hiding together.

"Now all this time, I was inducted to help fight Voldemort with an elite group of wizards who make it their duty to fight him. They are all over. You don't know who's in it and who's not. It's top secret and Dumbledore is the founder and head. I've been with them, and they give me the shelter that I need.

"So that is my story. It's not a pleasant one, and it doesn't have a particularly happy ending. But here you have it. Have I changed your views on werewolves? Or at least this one?" Lupin concluded, looking at Tonks in the eyes.

Tonks found herself, again, ensnared by his stare. Her eyes were teary, and she couldn't find her voice.

"Yes, I trust you. Mr. Lupin--" she whispered

"Remus is just fine."

"Remus, you've changed it. I believe you. I want you to know that I will be here for you. My heart goes out to you. That is such a story. I cannot believe what you had to go through. I don't want you to have to deal with any more pain. I wish it wasn't so. Remus, May I be your friend?" Remus looked at her incredulously.

"Why would you want to be friends with a werewolf?"

"Why would James and Sirius, and Peter?" She challenged. "I'm going to be there for you. But I do have one question."

"Shoot."

"Why did you tell me about that secret organization if it's so secret?"

"Ahh, you've come to a good point. That is because, they want you. That is why Moody set this up, so we could kill two birds with one stone. Calm your fears about werewolves and induct you to the Order. Now I can't say more here. It's too risky. Do you trust me, Tonks?"

"Yes."

"Then meet me at 52 Wimpleton St. London, tomorrow ok? I will meet you there and we will explain everything."

"Who's in this, er, Order?"

"Uh uh, not here. Tomorrow, I promise."

"Alright Remus. I will see you tomorrow. But wait, when?"

"Oh, how about after work. 5:30 sound good?"

"Half-past sounds great. Jeepers! Look at the time, I must be off, but I will see you tomorrow."

"Good-bye Nymphadora."

"Don't call me that!" She said exasperatedly. He gave her a half smile, turned on his heel, and walked out. Wow. She thought. She immediately conjured a vial, and placed her wand to her temple, and pulled out a silvery strand, which was the memory of today's meeting. She went home thinking about the next day, and what it would hold.

so, hope you liked. sorry it's little depressing. the next chapter is going to be her meeting the Order, and maybe be up tomorrow (but don't get your hopes up). so hope you liked, and please REVIEW!!! i've had alot of hits, but not as many reviews! ~mangotango101