A/N: Thanks everyone for reviews and DynamicDuo 911 for her help!^^ Again, it's very offtopic, kinda no beginning or ending.. and again, been sitting in my folders way too long xD Any ideas for the next offtopic, anyone? xD
"Master!"
"Yes, what is it?"
"Were you aware of the fact that half of your house is in a terrible condition?"
"What?"
"The dungeon, it's all flooded !"
"You consider dungeons to be half of my house?"
"No… I consider the dungeons as all of my house!"
"So, what do you want me to do?"
"I don't know. Fix it. It's been raining like hell all these two months. But I guess you didn't notice that. All you have been doing is sitting in this office, that basically means doing nothing,while I come from missions to simply find out that my dungeons have turned to a terribly big underground pool."
"I don't have so much time for training like I used to."
"Well, you should find that I'm not going to protect you forever."
"In this case, what use of you do I have if I can protect myself perfectly without your interference?"
"I want my dungeons back."
"Do you suppose I should go there and scoop all the water out with a bucket? It can't be cleaned very fast. There's a lot of work fixing that."
"Make people work faster."
"I could but you wouldn't be satisfied anyway."
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Because it needs time to fix and clean everything completely."
"So…?"
"So, go and occupy some other room. There's a lot of free space in this house. I'm sure you'll be able to go back to dungeons by the end of next week."
"You're not going to mind this, are you?"
"Just go."
"Deal then."
"What?"
"Have a nice night, Master."
…and so a bit later…
"Alucard!!!"
"Yes?"
"What the hell is this?"
"I'm disappointed you cannot recognize it, Master…"
"What the hell is your coffin doing in my bedroom?"
"You said I could stay where I want. So, here I am."
"Why the hell in my bedroom, Alucard?"
"I don't want other rooms. I want my dungeons back."
"They aren't yours in the first place! Get this thing out immediately."
"I won't."
"What?!"
"I'm not saying that I refuse to obey, I simply don't have anywhere to place my last domain."
"There are at least 20 unused rooms in this house, why do you not like them?"
"I don't want to leave it there. Anyone can come in."
"So lock up."
"Anyone can still come in. Housemaids, for example, have their own keys."
"I'll tell them not to go there."
"They still might come in."
"So what if they do?"
"I don't want that."
"Housemaids are coming into my bedroom even more often."
"Well yes, but it's your bedroom. "
"Does that make a difference?"
"They won't touch anything."
"You're terrible… They come here every day to clean and tidy my room up! "
"Well, but they won't touch my coffin."
"Why's that?"
"Because they won't."
"Alucard, for God's sake, I don't want your coffin here. What would housemaids think when they find your coffin lying in my room? I certainly don't want any of that 'what do you exactly do with your vampire pets?' anymore."
"That's okay, everyone's thinking that anyway. I don't mind that."
"Well I do mind. I don't enjoy any private stories and nor do I want anyone to talk about mine. Especially my bedroom. So you're getting out."
"That's too bad. In such cases, I have a lot of stories about personal mistakes of all your other servants and I can assure you they're very interesting."
"Not for me."
"Oh come on, Master, I know you would love to know about everyone in this house. Now that we're sharing a room, they could be bed stories."
"Bed stories…?"
"Er, wrong word… Stories before bed… still doesn't sound right somehow…"
"I'm not interested in spying on my workers."
"Well, fine. Then what about if I sleep here during the day, and during night I'll be on missions? This shouldn't cause you any trouble. Not that I would care, actually…"
"And what if there are no missions?"
"I'll find how to entertain myself."
"…"
"Not in your bedroom of course. I… promise."