Disclaimer: I own not, you speak not, I steal not, you sue not.

A/N:

OBLIVION

Chapter 2

A week had passed and Harry still didn't feel relaxed. Well it's hard to feel relaxed when you've just been raped and the incident caused a memory charm to be broken making you remember that it had happened once before, but he didn't feel comfortable with his escape.

'Snape won't remember actually listening to me yap for an hour…but hopefully he'll just think that was because he had tuned me out…or that he'd had a headache or something.' Harry looked up from his Charms book and looked around the common room. 'It will never feel the same again. Hell even memories from after second year feel different now. Should I be ashamed for every time I was touched since that afternoon? Should I wish the Dementors had Kissed me in third year so I wouldn't have to feel…this emptiness? And I though it couldn't get any worse after…Sirius.' Harry sighed softly and looked to the couch before the fire where Hermione and Ron were already bickering again. 'They'll get together this year. I can feel it. And when they do I'll be a third wheel. A dirty, used third wheel.' Harry turned away from them, not being able to look at their pure affection, because that was all the bickering was. He turned his gaze out the window and thought some more. Wondering what Dumbledore had in store for him this year. Thinking about the prophecy. What it had in store for his life. Thinking about whether he wanted to live after he defeated Voldemort. Because he did have to defeat him, losing wasn't an option unless he wanted to die and take the wizarding world with him. Voldemort would surely destroy it all eventually. Maybe even afterwards turn to the muggles. Harry losing, was not even thinkable.

"Harry you look…upset. Charms giving you trouble?" Harry blinked, startled before turning from the window.

"What?"

"I said you look upset." Ginny grinned. "What's wrong?"

"Ah…just thinking. About this year. All the things that could probably happen to me…" Harry gave her a small smile. 'I could be found out to be people's dirty little sex toy. I could be killed. I could be put in an institution when I go mad. I could become a killer…oh all the lovely choices.'

"If you think about the year like that no wonder you're looking depressed. Cheer up! Think about Quidditch. That's what I'm thinking about. I'm going to be a Chaser this year." Ginny grinned again happily. "Or think about D.A? All new classes to plan and everything!"

Harry smiled outwardly, inwardly her good cheer was sending him into depression faster. What would all his friends from Quidditch and D.A think of him finding out he'd been raped twice? He was weak! No…no. They never need find out about second year. Only he remembered. Gilderoy was…indisposed. And he wouldn't tell. But suppose Snape…

"…do is think positive and everything will look better I promise." Then Ginny leaned over and gave him a hug. Harry stiffened and tried to resurrect his smile but it came out brittle.

"Thank Ginny. You know what I think I'll do this work tomorrow. I feel tired. Tell Herms and Ron I'm gone okay?"

"If I can pry them away…" Ginny laughed and walked off.

Harry went to the dorm and climbed into his bed shivering under the covers as he spelled his hangings shut.

"Freedom." He put his usual Silencing charm around the bed and let his thoughts run away again.

Severus Snape was annoyed. This wasn't unusual per say, except he was annoyed with himself. Randomly he'd remember bits and pieces of something, that kept nagging at his mind. And then other times he couldn't remember random things. Like now.

Snape glared at his cauldron of Dreamless Sleep potion. It was missing something…but what? 'I don't forget things. And I never forget things about potions!' Snape vanished the contents of the cauldron with his wand and stormed from his workroom angrily.

'What is wrong with me?' Severus paced his rooms briskly. 'All week. Forgetting things. Having this itch that's telling me there's something I need to remember. Maybe…it's a side effect of that potion I took.' Snape suddenly froze mid stride. He'd created a new potion that made headaches go away and sent the drinker into almost a serene, dreamlike state. He'd made it for himself, needing it what with the nature of his life, and had tested it on himself…why, that night Potter came apologizing for being a nosy urchin.

Something shifted in his mind again and Severus frowned as he suddenly remembered…Harry, looking at him repentantly and stammering out apologies. Yes Potter…and his insincere attempt to ease his guilty conscience. Feeling sorry for his greasy old professor who was tormented as a child. Pity…he didn't need it.

Severus sighed. If this occurrence of forgetting random things kept up he'd find himself in the hospital wing under Pomfrey. But he couldn't understand what this subliminal feeling he was forgetting something had to do with Potter. The two times this week he'd had a Potions class with him Severus had kept feeling strange…emotions. And Merlin, help him if this continued through the whole year, 'Gods it's only just begun and Potter is already making problems for me.' Then green eyes flashed behind his lids in fear before they turned glassy, all expression within them dying. Snape froze again. 'What the hell…' He shook his head urgently. 'Why the hell are all my thoughts on Potter suddenly? Now, back to my problem.' The damn Potter…potion! That seemed to be making him forget things…soft moans, so lovely. Snape blinked. Where had that come from? And these sudden sounds in his head…made him think of reddened lips and wide teary green eyes. Snape growled. 'This is not right. This is not right at all.' Why the hell was he thinking of Potter in any other way besides that of him being a pompous, fame-seeking, overindulged brat? It was something about those eyes, that let anyone see into his soul…something about the boy that drew people like magnets…something about the soft, golden skin that trembled under…Snape frowned again before paling quickly. 'No…Gods no.' He wasn't thinking of Potter…sexually. Of course not! Severus scoffed at himself. 'I'd die first. I'd…I'd declare Potter himself a saint before I wanted the boy!'

'The potion Severus, the potion!' Snape realigned his mind with what was important trying to figure out where his creation has gone wrong. A few ingredients might have been the same as found in a forgetfulness potion but that shouldn't cause that side effect…unless perhaps something else was ingested that it reacted to. He felt everything with it was fine though, it was a relaxant, slight stimulant, to create the trance, and tension reliever. All in all, a new addition to the Hogwarts medicinal cabinets that could benefit many.

It could be a breakthrough too if it were discovered his new creation could help Potter with his scar incidents…'Mother Hepetziba! Do all roads lead back to Potter?' Snape raved disgustedly to himself."Gods he's already the hope of the wizarding world. I don't need him the center of my universe too!" Snape snapped in the quiet of his rooms, staring into his dying fire from his couch.

A/N: sticks out tongue

J: rolls eyes Please...