Disclaimer: I no own, I no infringe, you no tell, I no get sued.

A/N: My integrity as an author has been attacked…my talent questioned…my self let down. But I will not lie down…I will answer with the quality of my stories….and I will lift myself up with my determination to prove.

OBLIVION

Chapter 9

Harry burst into the common room gasping for breath and ignoring the curious looks he was getting ran up to the dormitory to hide himself in his bed. He wrenched open the door and took three hurried steps in before he froze realizing Ron and Hermione were together on Ron's bed, looking embarrassed.

"Oh. Sorry." Harry rasped out taking a step back. "I'll…just go…"

Ron was red-faced and nodding behind Hermione's head, mouthing 'thanks mate.' But Hermione was staring at him eyes narrowed.

"Harry, are you okay?" Hermione pushed off the bed and started towards him but Harry held his hand out and took another step back.

"I'm fine. Honestly. I just…didn't mean to barge in." Harry forced out a laugh and a tried to smile. "Snoggius interruptus. That's me."

Hermione frowned. "You've been crying."

Harry blinked shocked, before swiping his hands over his cheeks. "Oh…no, umm, I haven't. I was…flying. You know, wind in the eyes and dust and all that."

Ron arched an eyebrow and looked over to Harry's bed at his trunk. On which his Firebolt was resting.

Harry flushed. "I went on a school broom. Practicing moves, so it had to be slow…you know."

Hermione looked suspicious. "Harry,"

"'Mione. Seriously, he doesn't want to talk about it." Ron said behind her quietly. "Though Harry if you have a problem you should know you can talk to us…instead of taking it out on us."

Harry looked at the floor guiltily. "About that Hermione. I'm sorry…about yelling at you. I, just…don't want to think about Sirius and…making mistakes again…" He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

Hermione looked sad as she stepped forward and wrapped him in a hug, feeling a wave of sympathy as he stiffened. "It's okay to need help Harry. We're your friends and you should talk to us."

"There are some things…" Harry swallowed heavily over Hermione's shoulder. "I just can't…talk about. Right now. I'll…maybe one day I can tell you...but I just, can't…" His body went lax against Hermione as he sobbed and choked it back. "I can't tell…you'll…hate me."

Hermione pulled away holding on to him. "Is this about Sirius? Or something else?"

Harry pulled away and opened his mouth but Ron interrupted. "We are your friends. We will always be your friends. I doubt you did anything that could make us hate you. But you'll tell us when you're ready won't you?"

Harry gave Ron a half-smile and wiped under his glasses. "Yeah. Thanks. I…can I stay here?"

Ron nodded. "Sure. We're gone. Aren't we Hermione?" He headed to the door and looked back. Hermione frowned at Harry again before hugging him lightly again.

"I never have and I never will turn my back on you Harry." She whispered into his ear before pulling away and heading over to Ron.

Harry waited until they were gone before sighing and getting into his bed, shutting the hangings around him.

'They are too good to be my friends. God, what was I thinking! I should have fought harder against Professor Dumbledore! Snape knows! Snape knows! Oh Gods, he knows!' Harry started shaking and wrapped his arms around himself. 'Did he believe me?' He bit his lip ignoring the occasional tear running away from him. 'Should I try going back to…push the story again? I really don't want to. I really don't want to be near him at all.' Harry laid back burrowing his head against his pillow. He'd do whatever he had to though. 'Just as long as he doesn't tell.'

Severus was sitting on one of the beds in the hospital wing waiting. When he had come in he'd asked Madam Pomfrey to fetch Albus before she did anything. She'd looked irritated with the order but he always irritated her anyway when he was here so…

Albus and Madam Pomfrey stepped out of her office in the deepest part of the hospital wing, her ready and impatient with her wand, Albus looking at him inquisitively.

"Is something wrong Severus?"

He fought the urge to scowl and struggled to keep his face impassive, emotions raging inside. 'No, everything's fine. I like subjecting myself to Pomfrey for her amusement. You miserable, interferring…why couldn't you stop him from coming to me! You're supposed to be all-knowing…I'm going to be fired…Azkaban could become very real…the Mark…I'll be Kissed.' It all hit him suddenly and the other occupants of the room turned worried as his colour paled more.

"What…I am about to tell you," Severus swallowed and continued firmly. "Is very sensitive information." He looked to Albus before looking at the Infirmary doors. Albus nodded before waving his wand and whispering and Severus sighed as wards rippled around the room.

"You both know I've been working on a new potion." Albus and Poppy nodded. "A relaxant, tension reliever and a dash of hallucinogen for the calming trance. I do not quite know where it went wrong but I have an idea some of the…ingredients I used reacted with others in," Severus was almost whispering now. "Unexpected ways."

Albus' eyebrows rose slightly. "Severus."

He sighed. "Somehow it has a side effect of being a…de-inhibitor. So you become relaxed, calm, pain-free and high, without inhibitions. Emotions, urges, feelings….rampant."

"Oh dear…" Madam Pomfrey frowned. "That would be too uncontrollable." Severus nodded reluctantly.

"You have been working on fixing it though haven't you?" Albus injected with a smile.

"No…I haven't." He said softly and looked up to find both Albus and Pomfrey staring holes into him. "Don't have a stroke on my account if you please. I won't abandon the potion…that is, if after I'm done speaking you don't wish to turn me out on my rear."

"Well continue dear boy." A tinge of worry coloured Albus' voice.

Severus swallowed heavily again, fighting nausea as he realized he might lose the only support he'd ever had. "I had tested the potion on myself, thinking it to be finished and correct." He kept talking over Poppy's gasp. "A…a student made their way to my chambers while I was, under the influence of the drug." He took a deep breath and hurried on. "I would have told you as soon as I was myself again except the student was ashamed that what had transpired would get out. He Obliviated me…after I raped him."

Madam Pomfrey gasped again and took a step back as Albus stiffened, power ebbing from him.

"Who…"

"H-harry…Potter."

A/N: Apply for the position of beta reader here:

Requirements:

1 You must have Yahoo mail and Messenger and be able to send and receive files though Messenger.

2 You must be reliable. If you say you can read a document in an hour I expect it read in an hour and back to me beta'd correctly within said hour.

3 You must be english LITERATE. That means youmustbe able to read, write and I hope, speak correct english.And just because you speak it doesn't mean you can read and write it for some people.

4 You must be able to stand me. But we'll deal with this after initial application.