Disclaimer: Ahem. I do not own Harry Potter or any of his fellows. If you tattle on me and I get sued you get no more story.

A/N: Okay. Don't hurt me!ducks flying instruments IT'S NOT MY FAULT! My former computer broke down and I couldn't get back on for this long!cowers Here...take it! Take it!

Oblivion

Chapter 15

Yesterday there had been a class with the Potions Master but Harry had been quite proud of himself. Except for one flinch as the door slammed while the man whirled in and all the lack of defiant eye contact, he'd been totally natural. He'd tried to do his potion, failed to meet the man's standard, and had been ran out of class with Snape's insults ringing in his ears with everyone else.

Today now though, this evening, was the Friday counseling meeting. And as smoothly as yesterday had gone, he didn't want to push his luck spending three hours with the man. But here he was, at the office door with his fist raised and frozen. Why did he have to care? Why couldn't he just leave Snape to be thrown in jail as he probably thoroughly deserved? He was insane, coming here to be alone with the man who had raped him!

The door flew open suddenly. "Potter." Face blank Snape stepped aside holding the door open and Harry swallowed heavily before he ploughed inside quickly. He swiveled as soon as he was in as Snape closed the door slowly, black eyes on him. Biting his lip apprehensively, Harry sat in the chair across from Snape's desk, still twisted in order to see the man as he moved. It seemed like forever before the Potions Master was back in his chair behind his desk and staring uninterestedly at Harry.

"So," He started awkwardly.

"Ever the conversationalist Potter." Snape replied condescendingly.

"I'm trying! Harry snapped back. "Which is more than I can say for you! Gods, why am I trying this? Remind me why again! Why am I protecting you! Why do I care what happens to you! Why do I do this to myself!"

Severus arched an eyebrow, looking into the furious green eyes glaring at him before a corner of his lip quirked. "Because, you are Harry. Harry Potter, but mostly Harry yes? With an overpowering hero complex. You may not do it for attention like your father did but you have this need to be savior don't you?" This was all replied calmly to a shell-shocked Harry.

"That's…I don't…I'm not like my father." He murmured quietly.

"Yes, I believe we established that."

Haunted green eyes met black again. "I never wanted the attention. I never wanted to be the hero. I'm just…I just am."

"It's a part of you. My hypothesis I've been working on since…well, my last talk with Albus made me realize something. You are an embodiment of both James, Lily and yourself. Like James you attract attention, like Lily, you never wanted it, like yourself…it's just who you are. It comes from that," Snape sneered lightly here. "Pathetically Gryffindor heart."

"You just had to add in that last part so it wouldn't sound like you were complimenting me huh?"

"Never let it be said I complimented a Potter." Snape replied airily.

"I could have been Slytherin you know." Harry batted back viciously. At Snape's slightly widened eyes he smirked. "Yes. Me, in Slytherin. I somewhere picked up snakelike tendencies. Not to mention I can manipulate when needed too. Though that may actually not be Voldemort's influence…but Albus' after watching him for years, I'm still more Slytherin without having to have risked my life living in that dorm." Harry wandered off, with a wry smile.

"Don't joke about things like that." Snape suddenly flashed forward suddenly, startling Harry back to quivering against his chair. "Be grateful you little fool that for some reason you ended up in Gryffindor. Even with me trying to protect your pathetic arse, if you'd been in Slytherin you'd have been dead before the end of term!" He hissed angrily.

"I told the hat to put me there!" Harry choked back before gathering in a breath and yelling. "And I'm damned glad I didn't have to end up with you for a Head of House, you hypocritical bastard! You didn't think my arse was pathetic while you were buggering it!"

For a few minutes Harry stayed huddled against his chair and Snape leaned back in his with red spots of anger and embarrassment staining his cheeks, before the Potions Master let out a long breath.

"Tea." Snape asked flatly.

"Yeah. Thanks." Harry breathed out hoarsely.

He couldn't believe he'd said that to the man, Harry thought dazedly as he quietly entered his dorm and shut the door behind him. It was after curfew so he tiptoed to his bed with his mind whirling around the meeting.

And Snape had always been trying to protect him…pity he'd only been disgusted with Lockhart's stupidity and not suspicious of his fanaticism of Harry. And he couldn't very well protect Harry from himself.

And Snape had said something nice about him. Ended it with an insult but basically…

Harry shook his head as he opened his bed hangings and stifled a cry of surprise to find Ron and Hermione sitting up on his bed waiting for him, with one of their wands lit.

"What the…what are you guys doing in my bed?" Harry hissed flushing. "Ron use your own!"

Ron stiffened before turning brick red and Hermione coughed lightly.

"That's not…ugh, we're here for a reason Harry. Sit down and close the curtains."

"Why didn't you guys wait in the common room for me or something…?" Harry said, obeying. "This is bloody awkward."

"It's after curfew Harry. McGonagall would have chased us up when she made rounds half hour ago." Ron stated, an eyebrow arched.

"Oh…" Harry said mouth open. "Oh yeah."

"Where have you been?" Hermione hissed suddenly. "We've been worried! None of the others could find you…we were afraid…"

Harry slapped his forehead. "Not this! Not this again! I told you guys to drop it!" He stopped suddenly as his voice rebounded in the small, warded area.

"It's obviously still a matter with you if it's making you shout at your friends." Hermione said, tone hurt.

Harry sighed looking from her shadowed face to his bed sheet. "I wouldn't have to yell at you if you'd mind your own business when I asked you to."

"Well we couldn't okay? No one's missing from any of the House tables, Harry, you lied. The person who raped you is still here, still loose in this school and we want to know where the Hell you were this evening!" Ron yelled.

"Not that it's any of your fucking business since I told you to butt out! But I was getting counseling okay? And the person who hurt me is gone…so take your detective work and shove it where the door smacks you when you're leaving! Get out!"

There was a short pause before Hermione leaned forward into the wand light. "Counseling? But…the only teacher who didn't stay in the Hall all through dinner was…" Hermione frowned as Ron gasped.

"Snape? Dumbledore put you into counseling with SNAPE? What the hell is he thinking?"

"That he can help me. And he was. I was feeling quite alright until you guys brought up this crap again! I told you to leave it alone! If you can't be proper friends and respect my wishes I'd like you to leave ME alone."

"Harry you don't mean that…" Hermione's eyes welled.

"I told you." Harry crossed his arms.

"We're just trying to understand! You keep lying to us! We're just trying to understand what's going on with our friend…" Harry interrupted while pushing Ron and Hermione each with one hand.

"Okay. You want to know why I'm being the way I am? You want the truth…" He pushed open the hangings as they slid off his bed. "The man who hurt me is gone. I don't know what part of that you don't understand, maybe it's just because you can't stand not knowing WHO it was eh, Hermione? I'm sick and tired of people not caring about what I want when I'm supposed to care about them all the time. I don't want the life I have and Ron if I could trade with you everything I have and am since you hate 'being in my shadow' so much I would, I assure you. And one last truth for you, I'm gay and having problems facing it since I was raped by a guy okay? Enough truth for you? Goodnight." With that Harry shut his hangings, sealed them and flopped back onto his bed.

Cleansing is good for the soul…but not when you're trying to sleep.

bows to whom were her former minions Is it good enough?...mutters under breath you little scuz-munchers.

blinks in surprise sorry, channeling gizmo from teen titans.