Chapter Three: Hangovers and Hunger Pains

Summery: what if you could become who ever you wanted? Well, unfortunately, the one guy that god choose to offer that very thing to has a few screws loose, come in and see what he does with his new life.

Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with any legal rights to Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT, or any other Dragon Ball Series in any way, shape, or form. I do not own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT, or any other Dragon Ball Series or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters and the weird situation I come up with.

Series: YES, this is actually a Dragon Ball Z fanfic! I know I don't normally put a 'series' thing at the start of my fics, or a warnings thing for that matter, but I feel that they are both necessary since this fic seems like it's a Dragon Ball fic for the first 6-7 chapters. But at chapter 6 or 7 we will be jumping forward to the actual start of the Dragon Ball Z series (when Raditz arrives) and will be going from there.

Warnings: OC, Violence (It's DBZ, Duh), Language (Jacob says things that Goku normally wouldn't), Gender-Bending, Yaoi, Bisexuality.

Pairings: Everyone:

NOTE 1: DBZ Math: I THINK that Goku was about 17 when he and Chichi got married in the anime, in this fic, Jacob becomes Goku when he and Goku are both 15. also, I think that they have Gohan when Goku's 20, and Raditz got to earth when Gohan is five and a half, there for, Jacob has 10 years to make his wishes wit the dragon balls in order to get everything ready for when he and Raditz meets. That means, he has 10 wishes to use... well, actually, it's only 9 because he fucks up the first wish...

NOTE 2: Yes, I know there is a semi perverted and awkward moment in this chapter, but if you are a guy and reading this then you should already understand it, and if you are a girl, let me explain two things:

Firstly) don't worry, Goku isn't small.

Secondly) All guys fear being small, if you wake up in another guy's body and know that you're stuck with it, after you get over everything else (like awe at your new strength or amazement at your new muscles) you're going to start realizing that no one is perfect, so if a man were to switch bodies with another man, that is one of the things he would be afraid of and eventually check.

'thoughts'

"Words"

-actions-

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"Ug, why do I feel like was hit by a truck?" a slightly deepened voice grunted painfully, surprising it's owner completely. "Huh? What happened to my voice?"

Rolling his eyes and shrugging it off as just being sleep deprived, Jacob rolled over onto his side and tried to go back to sleep, hoping that the pain and voice problems would go away while he slept. Sadly, almost as soon as he rolled over onto his side, somehow not noticing that it wasn't a bed or a sleeping bag he was sleeping on, his stomach promptly started to let its complaints be known, which it did painfully.

Never in his life had he ever felt so hungry. It was as if his stomach had gone so long without food that it was actually starting to cave in on itself. If he didn't get some grub soon, he was probably going to end up keeling over from starvation. It also didn't help that his head was pounding painfully, almost as though someone had used a jack hammer on it or something, and it only seemed to get worse as he became more and more awake.

With his head pounding and his stomach grumbling painfully, Jacob gave in to his aches and pains and sat up, planning on heading down stairs for breakfast. Sadly, the moment he opened his eyes, his plans for breakfast instantly went out the window, at least they would have if there had been a window for them to go out of. Instead of being on his bed in his room back in New York city, he found that he was actually laying on a large patch of really tall greenish-blue grass that was sitting between a giant tree and a large crystal blue lake with several very large things swimming around in it that looked remarkably like really big sharks. On the other side of the giant try he was sleeping next to, there was also a huge field of tall yellow grass, all of which was taller then he was.

Unable to believe what he was seeing, Jacob stood up, blinked his eyes a few times, and took another look around, only to see the exact same things as before.

"Where the heck am I?!" he shouted in a horrified voice, looking around frantically, searching for some clue that could tell him where he was and how he had gotten there.

Oddly enough, there was one, though it wasn't exactly what he was expecting. Off in the distance, on the other side of the huge lake, was a brachiosaurus, also known as a long necked dinosaur. It's head stood several meters above the trees, and it wasn't alone either. Instead of having small birds flying around its massive greenish-blue scaled head, the brachiosaurus had several massive dark blue and tanned colored pterodactyls zooming around its neck. Every now and then one would try to land on the giant head it was flying around, only to be shaken off a second later when the brachiosaurus jerked its head in an attempt to dislodge them.

Now fully convinced that there was something wrong with his eyes, Jacob brought his hands up to his face and started rubbing at them furiously. When he started to move his hands away from his face again to look around again, he froze... his hands were only about an inch and a half way from his face, and yet, he could already see that something was very, very wrong with them.

They weren't his hands.

All his life he had been pale, a little over weight, and way to short, with medium sized pale hands to mach, but the hands in front of his eyes weren't like that at all, instead, they were dark tan and big, like an overly tanned and muscular football players hands, only without all the scabs and calluses.

As he continued staring in confusion at his new hands, Jacob slowly started to recall everything that had happened the day before, including the part about switching places with Goku.

Eyes going wide from horror, Jacob ran over to the side of the lake, knelt down, and peered down at his own reflection. Unfortunately, when he saw the face that was staring back at him, to his slight horror and great surprise, he found that it wasn't his reflection at all.

It was Goku's.

"Holly shit." He gasped, eyes going wide in horror as he continued to stair at the tan skinned and wild haired figure that was now his own reflection. 'It wasn't a dream.' he mentally added in amazement and horror as he brought his right hand up to the side of his face, watching as his new Goku-reflection did the exact same thing.

As he continued staring at his new reflection in horror and amazement, Jacob suddenly noticed that there was an odd shadow just under the surface of the water, which was quickly starting to get bigger and bigger. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought that something was coming right at him from the bottom of the lake, which was impossible as the only things in the lake were fish and...

Sharks.

Having watched enough shark week videos on the discovery channel to know that some sharks, like the great white, could actually catapult themselves straight up out of the water, Jacob realized just in time exactly what was about to pop out of the water. With his instincts driving him, he quickly jumped away from the edge of the lake as fast as he could, only to find out the hard way that his jump now had a lot more power behind it when he slammed his head into a branch on the giant tree he had been sleeping next to just moments a go, a branch that was well over thirty feet off the ground and more then twenty feet away from the lake.

"Umf!" He grunted as his head slammed painfully into the branch, falling to the ground a second later when gravity finally decided to make an appearance.

Blinking stupidly once he landed, Jacob was surprised to find that even though he had just gotten his head slammed into a giant tree branch, it didn't hurt at all. Blinking several times in surprise, it took him a minute to realize that, as he was in Goku's nearly indestructible Saiyans body, most things couldn't actually hurt him all that much, and the few things that could usually involved explosions or bad guys.

"Oh yeah." He said quietly as understanding made its way into his head, only for it to be replaced by horror a second later when he saw the shark that had tried to eat him just moments ago laying on the ground a few yards away from him, hopping and thrashing in an attempt to get closer to him.

Eyes going wide in horror as the shark slowly got closer and closer to him, Jacob watched in horror as the shark did something that kind of reminded him of push ups, bounced into the air, and started coming down again, aiming straight for him.

Not wanting to get eaten my the crazy hopping shark, in the blink of an eye, Jacob went from sitting at the base of the tree to doing a side flip through the air, managing to get out of the sharks path and causing it to get a jaw full of bark. When the not-so-human-anymore teenager landed perfectly on his feet, he simply stood there and stared at his feet in amazement. Having never been a very athletic guy, doing flips had always been close to impossible for him, but now... He hadn't even been trying to do it, and yet he had still done it without a problem.

"That's right..." He said quietly, recalling everything Shenron had told him before he and Goku had traded places, including the part about being able to call up each other's memories if they tried hard enough. "Since I have his memories somewhere in my head, I probably also have Goku's instincts to, including the stuff about how to fight and flips, and all the other stuff to."

Blinking down at his new Goku-fists, he flexed them several times, testing his new strength and already starting to get over the weirdness of his situation. While he was still freaking out in his head, he had seen enough freaky things in his life to know that freaking out in your head was fine, but acting freaked out could get you killed. Basically, if something freaky, weird, or impossible ever happens, just give him six or seven minutes to get his moment of horror, shock, and surprise out of the way and he's good to go. Then again, most people would be like that too if they had seen even half the stuff that he had, but that's just new york for you, can't surprise anyone from the city of dreams. Ever get robbed by a cockroach?

While Jacob was busy flexing his fists and thinking of all the cool things he could probably do with his new found strength, the shark that had tried to eat him started flopping around madly again, trying to get back to the lake. It had used up all the watery-oxygen it had absorbed from the water and now it was starting to suffocate.

Seeing it thrashing frantically, Jacob got an evil idea in that dark and twisted little thing he calls a brain. If he really was in Goku's body, then killing a shark would be relatively easy, and since the thrashing shark had tried to eat him...

Smiling evilly at the shark, Jacob concentrated as hard as he could and ran straight at it at full speed, not at all surprised when he found himself standing next to it in less then a tenth of a second and just as unsurprised when the single punch he threw at it was enough to kill it instantly.

Apparently, for Goku at least, sharks weren't really all that much of a problem.

In the middle of his overly excited jumping and whooping at having super strength, his stomach decided to make itself known again, grumbling at him painfully and begging for him to feed it.

"Gah, so hungry!" He groaned, rubbing at his stomach as it continued rumbling, only to pausing when he realized that his stomach felt incredibly lumpy.

Lifting up his bright orange shirt and dark blue undershirt, he couldn't help but give a shout of joy when he saw his stomach. In his old life, he had been kind of flabby, but now? Well, while Goku's reflection was proof enough that he was definitely not the adult Goku, he still had a really nice six pack, which was accompanied by some really nice pecks.

"Holly shit." He said excitedly as a moment of vanity suddenly over took him at the realization that he was no longer the over weight nerd he used to be.

Come on, what would you do if you woke up one morning and found that you went from being more then a hundred pounds over weight to having a six pack over night?

Exactly.

Pausing midway through his happy dance, Jacob looked back down at his new body, blinking at it a few times as a thought suddenly dawned on him.

"Wait a sec," He said in a slightly worried tone as pure dread washed over him at the realization that there was still one thing he needed to check.

Yes, Goku had a nice body, and yes, Goku was kind heart, really strong, sweet, and just an all around bad ass, however, there is just one small problem with that little fact...

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THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEING PERFECT.

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Seriously, Goku has the muscle, he has the strength, he has the body and even the good looks, so what was he missing? Then there was Jacob's luck... Ever since he was a child, it had always been the exact same thing. He always got something that was just a little messed up. Whenever he got a new video game or something, yeah, he would be able to play it, but for some strange reason, he wouldn't be able to save the game, and whenever he got a new book, even if it was mailed to him directly from the manufacturers and was still wrapped in plastic, it would somehow be missing a few pages, every single time.

Basically, there was still one thing he needed to check, something that all guys would worry about if they were in his position.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, Jacob braced himself for whatever his luck had done to his nether regions as he hooked his thumbs in the waist band of his Gs and pushed them away from his body, peering into them to see what he had to work with.

Surprisingly, god seemed to be in a generous mood...

"HELL YEAH!" Jacob shouted happily, punching at the air victoriously before going into what could only be described as the world's worst happy dance.

Goku's only flaw must have been his intelligence and naivety, because that's the only way to explain the perfect body...

Once he was done doing his happy dance, which was so bad and so reminiscent of the robot that it would have blinded anyone stupid enough to look at it for to long, Jacob grabbed at his stomach once again, realizing that he still needed to do something about breakfast.

"Ug, food..." He groaned, rubbing at his stomach and looking around in an attempt to find something edible, only for an evil smile to make its way onto his face when his eyes landed on the dead shark. "Well, Goku did eat some really big fish in the anime, and some people do eat shark fin soup, so that means that sharks must be edible..."

Trying to figure out how he was going to cook such a huge fish, Jacob sat down next to the giant tree and started thinking. It wasn't just the actual cooking that he needed to think about, as he didn't have a fork, plate, or knife with him, he also had to figure out how he was going to eat it without burning his hands. After a few minutes of sitting there, in the middle of his thinking, several memories that were definitely not his own suddenly made their way into his head, showing him exactly how Goku always cute and ate his giant fish and shark catches, reminding him that he still had some of Goku's memories locked up somewhere in his head.

"Oh, the memory stuff." He said in surprise, realizing that he could probably just concentrate on Goku, sharks, and food to get Goku's memories to help him.

Deciding to test his theory about the memories out, Jacob started concentrating on Goku, sharks, and food as hard as he could. After a couple minutes passed, he finally had the information he was looking for. Sadly, the way that Goku usually cooked the shark meat was so freakin obvious that made him feel a little stupid for not being able to figure it out on his own.

Basically, all he had to do was put it on a really big stick made out of a branch and use a Ki-blast to start a fire under it.

Slapping a hand to his face in embarrassment, Jacob went to work gathering everything he needed. Pausing when he came to the giant tree for the tree branch, he realized that he should probably use a Ki-blast to knock it down since he was probably going to need to practice using them.

"How the hell do you use Ki-blasts anyway?" he wandered out loud, looking at his right palm closely as if it could tell him how to do it.

Sighing heavily and knowing that just standing there staring at his hand wasn't going to tell him anything, he sat back down on the grass and started concentrating again, only this time he concentrated on Goku, Ki, and Ki-blasts. After a few minutes of concentrating, he finally got the answers he was looking for, which turned out to be a lot harder and more complicated then the anime had always said it was. In fact, the theory on Ki alone was so complicated that he now fully understood why Goku was so simple-minded and naive in the anime.

There weren't enough brain cells in the Saiyan or human brain to cover Ki AND other things.

Just thinking about the theories behind Ki, which Master Roshi seemed to have thought very amusing to shove down Goku's throat, gave Jacob the worlds biggest headache, forcing him to vow never to think about them again. All he needed was the practical use: theories and complicated crap be damned.

"Oi, note to self, never look up Goku's memories on Ki use again." He moaned in agony as his head continued to pound painfully from all the information about Ki he had stupid dragged up.

Once his headache finally dulled to a manageable ache, which took a good ten minutes, he stood up and turned to face the giant tree again. Looking down at the palm of his right hand one more time, Jacob sighed heavily, stuck his hand out in front of him, took aim at the branch he wanted, and tried to preform a Ki blast, shouting 'ah as he did so just for his own amusement.

To his amazement, it worked, sort of...

While it did actually work and had managed to knock the branch down, it wasn't nearly as big as what he remembered Goku's normal Ki blast being in the anime, but it wasn't exactly a speck either, though he was still pretty sure it was a weak attack. Basically, he definitely needed to work on his control, especially if he was really going to be stuck in Goku's body for the rest of his life. With all the people that Goku always had to fight, and since Pilaf did actually wish Goku out of existence, he was going to have to take Goku's place, though he didn't really like the idea of putting his own life in danger.

'Grumble'

Rubbing at his painfully grumbling stomach in an attempt to sooth it, Jacob decided to worry about everything he was going to have to do after he ate breakfast. With how bad his stomach was hurting from hunger, he probably wouldn't be able to think even through straight anyway.

With his mouth pouring with drool, something he would later find very embarrassing, he moved over to the large branch, picked it up, took it over to the shark, and spear the big fish all the way through with it. Once done with that, he turned around and started looking for some boulders to set the ends of the stick on.

Luckily, there were two good sized boulders sitting a short way off into the distance, both of which gave him the perfect opportunity to test some of Goku's other abilities, like his strength for instants. Under normal circumstances there would have been absolutely no way for him to move them, but as he was in Goku's body and remembered seeing him move a really big boulder while training under Master Roshi when he was about twelve in Dragon Ball Z's first series, Dragon ball, he seriously doubted that a small boulder would be much of a problem.

With that in mind, Jacob held the 'Shark-stick' over his shoulder and made his way over to the the two boulders. When he was standing next to one of the boulders, he bent over and sliding a single hand under it, smiling when his hand slid into the soft soil like butter. Once his hand was under the boulder, he straightened back up, bringing the boulder with him.

Smiling to himself and still marveling at his new found strength, he took the boulder over to a spot on the ground that was completely devoid of any grass and set it down. Once he was finished repeating the process for the second boulder, he placed the large 'Shark-stick' between them with each end sitting on a boulder. When he finished setting it all up, he started looking around for some dead dry wood to use for the fire.

As soon as he found the dry wood he needed and had placed it all under the 'shark stick', he stuck his finger out and tried another Ki-blast, hoping it would work the same way that it did in Goku's memories. Unfortunately, the moment the Ki blast hit the wood, he let out a groan of annoyance and instantly started vowing training in Ki-blasts as soon as he got rid of his hunger pains.

While his first Ki-blast had been tiny and had barely done what he had needed it to, this Ki-blast was a lot bigger and completely obliterated all the wood he had piled up under the shark. He was lucky that he didn't blow the shark up with it, because then he would have had to start all over again, which would have really sucked.

Sighing heavily and knowing that he had no other choice, he started searching for more wood. This time when he tried the Ki-blast on the new wood, instead of just using the Ki-blast like he had the first two times, he concentrated on making it as small as he could, which surprisingly did the trick.

While the fire cooked the shark for him, Jacob started looking around for something to do, wanting to keep his mind off of the shark because his mouth was already starting to resemble a small river. While he was looking around at the small lake, which he realize was actually just a really large section of a river, he spotted something glowing just under the surface of the water near its center. Wandering what it was, and no longer fearing the sharks as he was pretty sure they couldn't even catch him if they wanted to, he moved over to the water in an attempt to get a better look.

While the water of the lake wasn't very murky at all and was way clearer then it should have been possible to be, it was still almost impossible for him to actually see whatever it was that was in the lake, but from the spot he was standing on, all he could tell was that it was rectangular in shape.

Just as he was about to dive in to get a closer look, the glowing rectangle shaped object suddenly got brighter. In the split second that the spot got brighter, the water in the lack started to form a large whirlpool, instantly making him reconsider the whole 'jumping into the lake' idea. Backing away from the side of the lake so that he wouldn't get dragged in if the edge of the lake started to give way, he realized that the whirlpool seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. Actually, it wasn't exactly the whirlpool itself that was getting smaller and smaller, it was the lake. As the water in the lake continued to swirl there seemed to be less and less of it. It was almost as if someone had pulled a giant plug out of the bottom of the lake. (Please see A/N 1 at the end of the chapter)

"What the hell?" Jacob said in surprise, wandering what the heck was going on.

Almost as soon as the whirlpool appeared, the glowing light at the bottom of the lake and the swirling stopped, leaving the lake looking more like a giant puddle with a bunch of sharks and fish flopping around in it.

As it turned out, the lake was a lot deeper then it first appeared to be. While it was incredibly wide at some parts, it hadn't looked at all like it was nearly as deep as it actually was. It was almost as deep as it was wide, and that's saying something. Luckily for all the animals in the lake and all the ones that depended on it for water, the lake slowly started to fill back up again, confirming Jacob's suspicion that it was actually just a really wide part of some river.

With the lake being as huge as it was and with the river being as low as it was, Jacob knew that it was going to take a some time for it to fill back up again. Knowing that, he decided to explore the bottom of the lake out of shear boredom and curiosity, plus he kind of needed something to do while the shark was cooking.

Just as he was about to jump down and start walking around the bottom of the lake, he realized that there was still one more thing he needed to test out. He, like everyone else he had ever met, had always dreamed of being able to fly. It was just one of those things that everyone wishes they could do.

Smiling at the thought of being able to fly, Jacob closed his eyes and started concentrating on Goku's memories again. This time it took almost twice as long as it had for the other two times, but the information wasn't as obvious as the first time and it wasn't painful like the second time either.

When he had the information he needed, he braised himself and started concentrating on what he had to do, once again realizing that he was going to have to practice if he didn't want to have to concentrate so much on everything all the time. Exhaling and hoping he wasn't going to come falling back down to earth in a really painful way, he pushed all of his 'Ki-energy' into his stomach and pushed up. Amazingly, it did exactly what he had hoped it would do: it lifted him into the air. Unfortunately, it lifted him into the air upside down.

"ACK!" he shouted in surprise as he rose up into the air upside down, instantly loosing his concentration and falling back to the ground, head first.

Wiggling around with his butt and legs sticking in the air, Jacob couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. When he had lifted up into the air, he had risen up so far that the impact of his fall was enough to actually push his head into the ground, causing it to get stuck. It took him only half a second to get his head out of the ground, but when he finally did get unstuck, he ended up having to spit out half a ton of dirt.

Having never been one to give up on something, once Jacob was done spitting out all the dirt he had nearly swallowed, he faced the lake and started concentrating again. Sadly, this time had the same results as before, and so did the next four. In the end, it took him six failed attempts to finally get it right. Each of those six failed attempts had ended with him having his head stuck in the ground, something he swore he would take with him to the grave.

Once he was finally able to fly without ending up burying his head in the ground, he slowly started flying around the still mostly empty lake. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. He had been on meany roller coasters, including a few that claimed to make you feel like you were flying, but none of them even compared to the actual feel of being surrounded by nothing but air. There was just something about it that nothing else in the world could ever even hope to imitate.

Nothing is like flying, nothing.

Once he finally got the 'I'm lighter then air' moment out of his system, which took a lot longer then he would ever be willing to admit, he started looking around at the bottom of the lake from the air. He was still having fun with the flying and wasn't about to stop, but he really wanted to see what was at the bottom of the lake, especially since he vaguely remembered the capsule things that Bulma was always using in the anime and knew that people always lost things whenever they went swimming. If he was lucky, he might be able to find one or two of them, though he seriously doubted it.

Most of the things at the bottom of the lake were things you would expect to be there, like a ton of water plants and a bunch of fish that were flopping around like crazy, but there were also a lot of things that you wouldn't expect to see at the bottom of a lake, or river. Things that really drove home everything everyone always says about pollution, like tires, plastic bags, old shoes, and a bunch of other random things, all of which Jacob decided to use as target practice. The reason why he decided to use the junk as target practice was because it took care of two very different problems.

1) it helped clean up the lake like part of the river some so that the fish wouldn't have to deal with nearly as much trash in their home.

2) it gave him something to practice his new Ki-blast on.

After a few minutes of blowing up and completely obliterating random pieces of junk at the bottom of the lake bed, Jacob spotted something that he hadn't been expecting to see, something that he had completely forgotten had been sucked into the clouds by Shenron along with him.

The camping pack.

It was the same camping pack that his father had put onto the little fishing boat with them, it was still packed and still just as over sized as it had been before with the only difference being that it was now completely soaked through with lake water and had a wiggling fish sticking out of a side pocket. More then just a little happy to see the camping pack, Jacob flew down and landed next to it, somehow managing to only trip once or twice.

After pulling the poor fish out and tossing it into a little swell of water, he turned his attention back to the pack, smiling when he saw that it was indeed the same exact pack that had gotten sucked into the clouds with him.

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OMG, I typed this in about twenty minutes (while listening to a song called 'Move your dead bones', one of my friends sent me a link to a video of brook from one piece, it was an AMV, and I couldn't stop playing it over and over again for some stranger reason, lol.) Anyway, in case anyone is wandering about why I put in a 'ever get robbed by a cockroach' comment in this, well, my friend just moved to new york city and on the first night their, we saw a huge freakin cockroach actually 'Push' a ten dollar bill through a hole in the floor. (I say 'pushed, because what it actually did was try to get to a crumb under the bill, and just ended up struggling against it with it's shell until it ended up shoving it right over the edge of the hole it was on)

A/N 1) Actually, it's more like some white haired chick with a talking cat opened a magical door that was submerged under it, but that's a very different story. As with all my 'person falls into an anime' stories, I had to put something in it to tie it in with the 'My Life In One Piece' fic. Anyway, you don't need to know what's going on with that fic, it's not at all important to this one. I only mentioned it here because I like to have at least one scene in all my 'someone fall's into an anime' fics that go with another one

Anyway, I hope you all liked this chapter, especially since it is kind of starting the plot (well, not exactly, it's leading to the start of the actual plot) Anyway, I need to go start typing the next chapter, so just sit still until I finish it up.

For now, just answer these to polls:

should i shorten and combine chapters 1,2, and 3 into 1 chapter?

1) Yes

2) No

3) Only chapters 1 and 2

4) only chapters 2 and 3

Should i shorten and combine chapters 4,5, and 6 into 1 chapter?

1) Yes

2) No

3) Only chapters 4 and 5

4) only chapters 5 and 6

Check profile for a poll, there is always one up.

Anyway, the more people review, the faster I'll update :3