"There goes the only templar I ever liked." I sighed dramatically.
"Ser Rylock?" Anders said incredulously.
"Was that the screaming woman? She doesn't have the whole 'quiet menace' thing down yet." I looked over my shoulder at the retreating group. "I meant Alistair. Well, King Alistair Therin now, but he'd hit me with a shield if I ever called him that. He was a templar before he was a warden. Never took vows, though. Duncan conscripted him just in time."
"I can't believe you are on a first name basis with the king," Mhairi murmured. "Who is Duncan?"
"The last Commander of the Grey in Ferelden. He conscripted Alistair and myself." I frowned, remembering the last time I saw him. "Died at Ostagar. That's where I met Alistair. He was just Warden Alistair the chantry-raised bastard back then, I didn't even know who his father was until months later. We fought together for more than a year before he became king. Let me tell you, once you pull an arrow from someone's backside most of the formalities drop."
She nodded, blushing. "That does make sense."
"Anyways," I went on. "feel free to go inside and clean up. I would not recommend eating anything before the Joining. Or drinking, Oghren." He groaned. "Anders, if I can speak to you for a moment?"
The other two walked inside, leaving me and my fellow mage standing in the courtyard. "Oh, a private audience already? I feel all warm inside," he quipped.
"I'm giving you an out, if you want it," I began. "They volunteered, you didn't. I happen to think being a Warden is a damn sight better than being a Circle mage, but something tells me you're not the type to stick around if you don't want to be here in the first place." Anders grinned and shrugged. "I've been commander for less than twenty four hours, and you're the first person I've ever conscripted. If you bolt after the Joining Weisshaupt will think I'm a total idiot. I'd like to keep that from them for a while." It was my turn to grin. "I can only cash in on the 'I ended the Blight' thing for so long."
"I'd imagine you can get at least a few more years out of that," Anders suggested. "Unless we have another Blight, and someone else ends that one."
"Maker, we'd better not," I said with a shudder, barely registering that it was a joke. I saw the archdemon on the roof of Fort Drakon in my mind and closed my eyes, as though that would drive the vision away. I had to pull myself back to reality. "Anyways, there are risks and sacrifices, neither of which I can tell you in advance." He watched me, and said nothing. "But there are also benefits. I can try and answer your questions, but some things are secret. Conscription is normally mandatory, but Weisshaupt knew damn well I put people before rules when they picked me. Plus, the whole not wanting to look like an idiot thing."
"So what will you tell them if I go?"
Andraste's ass, I thought and I tried not to sigh. "I'll let it slip to a couple friends in high places that I'm awfully broken up about the brilliant healer I recruited who didn't make it through the Joining. Alistair, certainly, but maybe Teagan as well. Teagan's good at manipulating gossip, so that should to the trick." The potential lethality of the Joining was supposed to be a secret, but it was perhaps the worst kept secret in all of Thedas. I don't think I'd ever met someone who didn't know about it, so I didn't mind hinting towards it myself. I figured even a small hint would help me sleep at night.
"Brilliant healer, aren't you the little flatterer" he said and grinned. "Who is Teagan?"
"Bann Teagan Guerrin of Rainesfere. We're friends."
"So you're best buddies with the king and friends with Queen Rowan's brother?"
"What can I say, I move in strange circles. Teagan's a good man. Honest, trustworthy, respected, good dancer, pleasant conversationalist, and notorious gossip when the need arises. He's rather fond of me, if I tell him to spread a rumor he will."
"Wait, it sounds like you dated the late Queen's brother."
"I wouldn't go that far," I answered. "It was just a couple dinners and royal balls. I'm not cut out for that life. I like being a Warden too much."
Anders was quiet for a moment. I got the impression he was trying to get the nerve to ask something. "So…," his tone was artificially light and casual, "blood magic?"
I nodded. "Like I said, Wardens don't forbid it. I use combat spells only, cast from my own blood. I have never, and would never use it to drain the life of another or control a mind. Those aren't Warden regulations, just my own personal rules."
"You're not worried about becoming an abomination?"
"Not at all," I said. "I learned it from a person, and he learned it from books. I'd never consort with demons. You don't just wake up an abomination; you have to actually do something to get possessed. I hardly think defending the world from unholy monsters would qualify. And, if you are still considering this, know I would never even ask you to learn blood magic."
"And the Chantry knows this? They don't come after you?"
"Warden authority is beyond the Chantry. They can't come after me, or any of us." His face brightened when I said this, and I suspected I had my healer.
"What do Wardens do, when they're not killing darkspawn?"
"I don't know, I was doing that basically all day when I joined-"
"When was that?" he cut me off, looking curious.
"The evening before the battle at Ostagar," I replied. He gave me a funny look but I wasn't sure how to read it. I also wasn't entirely sure how to answer his question. I'd known to get recruits, but hadn't thought much about what to do once I had them. I tried to come up with something reasonable sounding. "I'd certainly require people to train, just to keep their skills sharp. I may ask people to go with me to check out promising new candidates, since we'll be recruiting a lot for at least a few years, or to help train new people once we have them. Obviously investigating any darkspawn activity is our top priority, which may involve travel. Other than that, your time is your own. Read, sing, dance, paint, have drinking contests with Oghren. I don't really care."
"Can you leave?"
I pretended to misunderstand him, trying to keep the mood light. He hadn't run yet, so maybe he wouldn't at all. "You want me to leave? Anders, I live here." I made a face.
"Clever. I mean, say I agree." Yes! I thought. "Can I ever leave?"
"You mean leave the order, or just leave the Keep in general?"
"Both?"
"Yes and no. A Warden is something you are, not something you do. I can't explain more unless you go through the Joining. You can step down from duty, like Alistair did, but you'll always be a Warden, the physical changes aren't reversible. We can't protect you from the templars if you step down, though." He nodded in understanding. "If you mean as far just leaving here, like to go into town alone for a drink, or travel somewhere on personal business, sure, as long as it doesn't interfere with your duties as a Warden. It's not a jail sentence." I smiled, trying to look reassuring. Come on, I thought, it's fun! Like a party, with darkspawn! And I really, really need a healer!
"Physical changes," he said, looking nervous.
"Yeah. I hope having seven toes on each foot isn't a problem for you." Anders looked at my feet in horror. "That was a joke, Anders. The changes aren't anything you can see. Internal stuff, I'm not entirely sure on how it works, to be honest. I didn't exactly get the full training after my joining."
"What's the downside?"
"There are several, they are severe, and I can't tell you." I just couldn't bring myself to sugar coat that part. Knowing he could be dead at my feet very soon was bad enough, although I strongly suspected anyone iron willed enough to escape the tower seven times would make it through the joining without a problem. Even still, he deserved as much of the truth as I could give.
"Well that sounds comforting." He sighed. "I suppose it beats being on the run from the Chantry forever. All right, point me at whatever it is I have to kill, or wear, or swear on, or however you do this."
"It's something you have to drink."
"That doesn't make me feel any better."
"It shouldn't" I said with complete honesty.