Nathanial had insisted on getting to work immediately, even when I offered him a chance to rest for a day. Not wanting to argue and get further onto each other's bad sides, I decided we could deal with whatever problems the guards had encountered in the subbasement, and inspect the damage to the outbuildings today. He didn't have to know that wasn't our original plan, and I didn't want to take him with us to the city until I was a little more confidant he wouldn't stab me in my sleep at camp. It seemed like that would be a fairly pathetic end, all things considered.

The dwarven stonecrafter who was working on the wall reinforcements (or would be, as soon as I paid him, I reminded myself) had taken over the basement to clear out some rubble before we could continue. Wandering through the fields an old man approached us, I vaguely remembered him being introduced as the groundskeeper, but it wasn't me he wanted to talk to. "Little Nate!" he called, with a grin. I tried not to laugh at his nickname. Mine wasn't much better, after all.

While he and Nathanial spoke Anders leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Was this a good idea?"

"Seems ok so far," I answered. "And we need a rogue. I can't pick a lock or scout to save my life, can you?"

"He wants to kill you!"

"Sure, now he does. He'll come around; I've been told I'm not nearly as obviously evil as the stories would lead one to believe." Anders rolled his eyes at me. "Give him a chance; I think it'll work out."

"I noticed you didn't give him a chance to leave."

"No, I didn't. He did say he wanted to kill me, though. If he hadn't I think I would have sent him off with whatever he came to get. His own fault, with that 'the next time you might not catch me' nonsense."

Anders didn't get a chance to reply since Nathanial was striding over to us, smiling for the first time since we met. He announced that his sister was alive, according to the groundskeeper, and living in the city.

"That's wonderful news!" I told him. Maker's breath, did he think I had killed her, too? No wonder he hates me. "We're headed there tomorrow, actually."

"Do you think we could look for her?" he asked me.

"I don't see why not. Think of any family items you might want to bring her, if they're small we can carry them." Nathanial beamed and fell back in line behind me.

"You are a devious woman," Anders whispered with a chuckle. His breath tickled my ear.

"What did I do?"

He shook his head, speaking in a normal tone now as we approached a burned out building. "You honestly don't know, do you?"

As I jotted down notes on the damage a small noise caught my attention. Looking behind a bush I discovered a very tiny, very unhappy looking tabby cat. I gently lifted the cat up, displaying him to my companions.

"Oh, look at the cute little kitty!" Anders exclaimed.

"You have got to be kidding," Oghren muttered, staring at the mage.

He ignored him, bending over make cooing noises at the kitten.

"Do you remember the mousers in the tower?"

"I used to sneak them milk and scraps of food. The templars would get so mad at me. I think they hated the cats just because the mages loved them so much."

"My favorite was Mr. Wiggums. After one of my escapes they put me in solitary. That cat was the only person I saw for a year. Except for not being a person." He sighed. "Still, I liked him. Poor Mr. Wiggums."

"Why poor Mr. Wiggums?"

"He became possessed by a rage demon- but he did take out three templars. I was never more proud."

I gasped, and choked a little. "Wait, that was true? I thought Jowan made that whole story up! How would a cat become possessed??"

"All true. What an amazing cat he was…" Anders looked wistful, even sad. I was tempted to hug him but... hm, no, that would be a bad idea. The urge to do so had been going through my mind far too often since we met. No pawing the recruits, I had to remind myself even in an order of equals, I was nominally their boss. No more clever flirty blondes.

"Hold out your hands," I said. He did, a look of curiosity on his face. I gently dropped the tiny kitten in his outstretched palms. "There you go." Anders grinned, nuzzling the cat with his cheek.

"I don't know if we should keep him. We get into some dangerous scraps." Even as he spoke he was holding the kitten to his chest protectively, scratching him behind the ears.

"So let him stay at the Keep. I wouldn't expect you to carry him everywhere anyways."

"I suppose… until I find someplace safer." He looked down at the kitten and cooed. "Is that all right with you, kitty?" The cat licked his palm and purred, settling the matter.

We finished the inspection, with Nathanial occasionally providing insight into what the buildings had originally been used for and breaking into some of the locked chests we found along the way. After returning to the Keep I met with him briefly in the room he chose, presenting the negative aspects of being a Grey Warden in much the same way I had to Oghren and Anders. He wasn't upset, which surprised me, saying only "It seems a fitting way to redeem my family."

I started to leave, and spun back remembering. "One more thing."

"Yes, Commander?"

Andraste's tits, I wish people would just call me by my name. This Commander nonsense was driving me slowly insane. At least Anders had stopped. I don't think Oghren would have started under penalty of death in the first place. It took him months to start calling me Maggie instead of just 'hey Warden,' but that was mostly because he couldn't remember my name in his drunken haze. I could only console myself that they didn't all call me 'my lady,' at least.

"Please call me Maggie. We're an order of equals." He looked at me dubiously. "We are, you know. Anyhow. I found this in the basement earlier. I saw you're an archer, do you want it? It has your family crest on it." I tossed him the antique bow I'd found. It was very old, but still looked to be in good shape, from what little I knew of such things.

He paled, staring at the bow but not saying anything. I waited a second, hoping he would explain, but he didn't. Was there some sort of unspoken bow etiquette I'd just broken in a horrible way? I had no idea. Maybe I should have written Leliana to find out before giving it to him. "Is it… wrong? Is it broken?"

Nathanial shook his head, a small smile forming. "No, it's in perfect shape. It was my grandfather's bow. He left," he paused and chuckled, "he left to become a Grey Warden."

"You didn't tell me your grandfather was a Warden! You're continuing the family tradition!" I exclaimed with surprise. He shrugged and thanked me for the bow, ending the conversation. I left feeling much better, noticing he was still holding the bow, looking at it with a smile.

Oghren cornered me in the hall on the way back to my room. "Maggie."

"Oghren."

"You're doin' it again."

We went into my study, he took a seat by the fireplace. "What am I doing?"

"That- that thing you do."

I grabbed an apple from the bowl on my desk and tossed it to him before selecting another one for myself. "There's a thing I do? Besides the whole killing thing?"

"Don't play dumb with old Oghren. I know you, woman." I dropped into another chair, munching on the apple. In the tower someone would have yelled at me, eating so soon before dinner. No risk of spoiling my appetite now, though. I was constantly hungry. "That nice thing. With the presents! You, always with the presents for everyone."

"What, I should have kept the bow for myself? I'm no archer. Or the kitten? Did you hear him? Going on about his mouser, getting sad, and what, I wander off going 'hey, that's too bad. You can visit my cat sometimes.' You saw how happy he was."

He made a 'harumph' sound, tossing the apple core in the fire. "So where's my present? Can I have a pony? You change your mind about mabari chariots?"

I giggled. "You didn't know? Varel wanted to have the kegs removed, I wouldn't let him. Hope you like them!"

He laughed. "OK, that's good too." We were still giggling when we got to the dining hall, mostly aided by a brief stop at the kegs on the way.

Dinner was mostly quiet, but only because between the four of us no one wanted to stop eating long enough to make conversation. At one point Anders did get into a debate with Nathanial, trying to explain how he was just like a mage: being blamed for something he was born as. I thought his argument was fairly sound, but the Howe would have none of it. "Being a Howe does not allow me to control your mind," Nathanial argued. I sighed, always back to that mind control thing. I'd never even met someone who could do that. Even Uldred, when he tried to take over the tower, had to all but destroy people with torture before they were susceptible. Maker's breath, I was one of those scary dreaded maleficar, and I didn't even know how to control a mind. Not that I had any interest in learning, for that matter.

We dispersed, with the men heading to their own rooms for the evening. I spoke to the head of the guards and Varel for more information on what we should do in Amaranthine when we arrived, making a list since I knew I would forget. At least one of the issues involved darkspawn, so that was something. I think the political types were forgetting what our actual job was. Every time Varel tried to bring up meeting 'my vassals' I winced, and wondered if Weisshaupt could send us a commander from Rivain, or the Free Marches, or even Antiva, just to get me out of the politics. Just not Orlais. Not that I would care, I just knew it would be... bad. Leading us when the biggest decision was 'kill things over there first,' wasn't a big deal. Now I felt like people were watching my every move, judging me at every turn. I had no idea how long I would be able to keep up the illusion of knowing what I was doing while I made everything up off the top of my head.