Part 16

The King of the Barren Land

As they lay in the dark Arthur told Merlin about the cave and the chamber where he had laid out his body. He spoke of the light and the pain of feeling magic flowing through him. Arthur did not hold back in telling Merlin all this; perhaps he hoped it might prompt him to confide something too.

'I thought at first it was you,' said Arthur, but when that terrible rush went through me. I realised that it was inside me and that it was something you have lived with all your life… and I think I began to understand you then… Merlin? Are you still awake?

Merlin did not answer but Arthur knew he was listening. 'I will ask Lillian tomorrow if it is possible that something transferred to me, albeit briefly. I'm sure there is an explanation.'

'Has it left you Arthur?' Merlin's said flatly.

'It went as quickly as it came and I hope it never returns. I am not like you Merlin, I may be strong in many ways but I am no match for you in this.'

Merlin was overwhelmed by Arthur's frankness. He prayed that he could one day be as open with him. But it was so much harder for Merlin to speak from the heart. He had lived under the treat of death since the day he arrived at Camelot, each of Uther's victims wore his face and no matter how powerful his friendship was with Arthur he was Uther's son, he had stood beside him and watched them die, he had dragged them before Uther to be condemned to the block or the fire. Merlin needed time. His desire to confide in his friend was compelling but some deep-seated sense of preservation prevented it.

'Merlin?' Merlin did not respond and Arthur was quiet.

Now he knew what had happened to Arthur in the caves Merlin was sure that magic had left him for good and the full brunt of his situation was clear to him. He would help Arthur complete this quest then he would go, he was no use to anyone like this, he would go.

Arthur could tell that this line of conversation would not progress any further and in a remarkable moment of intuition sensed what Merlin was thinking.

'Merlin, you are still coming with me to find the stone?

'Yes of course!' Arthur broke him out of his thoughts with the surprise question. 'What have you found out it? Continued Arthur.'

'Only that Aidith hid it somewhere else.'

'Any idea where by any chance?'

'Brand just said it was hidden differently than before.' he paused, 'and Arthur,'

'Yes?'

'Aidith was a sorceress.'

'There's a surprise,' he said sarcastically, ' so it could be wrapped up in more magic then? Well that's going to be easy!'

'Perhaps the book….' started Merlin.

'That book is just full of riddles! You realise that she doesn't really travel beyond here? You can tell if you read the thing in one go, the book changes into fiction. The forest, the Castle they are in the same place.'

'You're right Arthur,' said Merlin, 'Lillian said that if you look for the stone you come to the forest and it tests you and only those who pass the test are released back into the real world to continue their search. Rupert and Gawain didn't see the forest, they came upon the ruins straight away, because it was you they wanted to find and not the stone.'

Arthur was pleased that Merlin was talking to him at last albeit about the stone and not about what was really going on with him. 'That will have to do for now,' thought Arthur.

As Merlin slipped into sleep Arthur's words swam in his head. He was worried about him, his reaction to getting out of Heaf seemed incomplete. Merlin had been knocked sideways himself by his time in the forest and he still felt abused by it. Arthur was just being Arthur and he was talking too much. He hadn't even expressed any feelings about the death of the dog or doubted that he was at last free. That was the strangest part. Merlin did not quite believe Brand and Lillian at first, the smithy and its inhabitants seemed like just another illusion. But perhaps it was because Gawain and Rupert were here it was different for Arthur. Perhaps seeing them anchored him. Then a terrible thought shuddered through him. 'What if this was still all an illusion? This. Here and now with Arthur. It was all too good to be true wasn't it? What if he was dead? What if this was not real?' He closed his eyes. He was so tired. Sleeplessness does terrible things to you Gaius had told him. He was learning the truth of that first hand. In Heaf Arthur had not slept or eaten for two days. That was how it eventually sent you mad and you just starved to death in a kind of dreamlike bliss. Arthur had looked like that when he first saw him coming through the trees with the great red dog galloping ahead of him; he looked as though he was in some kind of heaven. 'Who thought up such a nightmarish place?' Merlin took a deep breath and felt his lungs fill up. He felt every bruise, ache and pain in his body. 'No.' he thought, for once grateful for his human frailty this was the real world: happy as he was to have Arthur back, 'there is no bliss to be had here.'

*

Gawain woke up an hour before dawn. Lillian was at Rupert's bedside. She glanced over to him and smiled. 'Has he still not woken?' asked Gawain with a concerned look.

'He's fine and will wake any minute.' Lillian reassured him. 'Why don't you come and sit with him? I'll bring you both some food in a while.'

Gawain stood at the bed and looked down on Rupert who looked suddenly old. In a few days, the mystery that was Rupert of Ficere was unravelling. Gawain had seen humour in him which had never manifested itself on the training ground. He had been shocked that Rupert had agreed to go into an enchanted forest. And now he seemed lost and helpless, troubled by some inner turmoil that would have seemed impossible just a week ago.

As Lillian predicted, Rupert soon woke. He opened his eyes and stared at Gawain for a minute processing everything.

'Gawain,' he said finally.

'Welcome back Sir Rupert,' said Gawain.

' Call me Rupert Gawain, enough has passed between us to dispense with formality.' Gawain nodded.

'Well you were right Rupert,' said Gawain, feeling the oddness of using his name alone, 'that forest was not the place to be if you have unfinished business.'

'Indeed.' He agreed with a smile.

Gawain looked at him closely. Rupert recognized that look. 'You want me to tell you all about it?' Gawain responded with a shrug.

'I don't mind telling you some of it. I suppose it is the last thing you wanted to get mixed up in. I know how you feel about sorcery.'

'You know a lot about me....' Gawain paused; he didn't want to push him.

'And you know nothing of me? Offered Rupert. 'That is true, but then no one does, and I like it that way.'

Gawain thought of the start of their journey when he hoped to discover something about Rupert that he could trade for a few drinks. That seemed like a million years ago and the thought of betraying any trust this man would give him now was unthinkable.

'I wonder at your curiosity Gawain, what is it for? To have some scandal to trade around a camp fire?'

Gawain frowned deeply and stood up. Rupert grabbed his arm. 'Sorry lad, that was unfair. It's just that I never spoke about it until yesterday. Was it only yesterday I told Lillian?' Rupert let go of him and Gawain sat back down. 'I suppose I am being defensive, I have kept my own counsel these twenty years, I did not even tell my wife.'

'You had a wife?'

'A son too.' Rupert smiled affectionately at the young man before him. 'Cenean would be the age you are now if he had lived…I don't know if I can tell it all Gawain.'

Rupert lifted himself painfully into a sitting position, Gawain leapt up to help him. 'I can tell you that I did something that has always troubled me deeply, something that did not sit well with me and drove out of my home and into the life I have now.'

'What could be so terrible?'

Rupert thought for a few minutes. 'If you killed a friend, one who had done nothing but serve you faithfully, be he man or beast, how would you atone for it?'

'I…I…don't know….you must have had some cause.'

'I thought I had, but I was too ready to judge.' Rupert looked down at his hands. 'Too quick to use these hands against him…and I was wrong.'

'Lillian said you allowed yourself to be wounded, was she right?'

'I don't know about that but…I realised when I went into Heaf, that I had the chance to find out the truth of what happened and I did, I learnt that I killed an innocent, not just that… I killed a brave soul who had only done his best to protect my child. Once I knew that I had to make some payment.' Rupert straightened himself up as though he was literally unburdening himself. Gawain rose from his seat.

'If that place was a testing ground you have done more than passed a test,' said Gawain, 'you have set yourself as judge and met your own punishment. I have never thought of my wrongs that way as something to atone for. I don't think I have that kind of nobility.'

'The fact that you say that shows your mettle Gawain, you are still young and there can be no great wrongs set against you yet. Take heed from my story and do not wait a lifetime to do what is right, face what has to be faced as it arises or else it will wear down your soul. I have lost my wife and my home through a wanting in me. I failed to look for the truth and fell too easily into despair.'

'Yet you gained the likes of us,' said Gawain with a smile.

'I know, what a terrible trade.'

Ayden and Brand came in with food.

' Thank-you for your kindness said Rupert to the smith.

'A pleasure Sir Rupert,' said Brand as he laid the table.

'You even gave me your bed. I must get dressed.' Rupert swung his legs out of the bed but felt too weak to stand. 'Gawain please…' He held out his hands towards his garments.

As Gawain lifted them a letter fell to the floor.

'This is for Merlin said Gawain. Rupert looked puzzled for a moment,

'Yes…I forgot…Ayden my boy, will you fetch Merlin here and Prince Arthur.'

*

By the morning Merlin's morbid thoughts were gone and Arthur had finally run out of steam.

'You look awful.' Merlin said to him.

'I feel as though I have drunk a barrel of wine.'

'Not even a whole cupful,' said Merlin.

'I was scared to go to sleep.' Arthur confided, 'wondered if I'd ever wake up.'

Merlin made a move to help Arthur with his clothes. Not here Merlin. I don't feel things are the same here. Merlin nodded. Ayden came running into the barn.

'Sir Rupert is awake Merlin and he's asking for you and the Prince.'

Rupert was sitting by the fire. He held out a letter. 'I'm sorry Merlin, I should have given you this before.'

Rupert turned to Arthur. 'Sire, we are charged with accompanying you back to Camelot to see your father, the Lords have sent for you.' Rupert was not afraid to bring bad news and yet he faltered at the next sentence. 'They believe…the King is dying sire.' The Prince felt his stomach turn over, it was as though the prophecy was coming true, the illusions in the forest like some cankerous seed, were coming to fruition. Arthur questioned Rupert about Uther; he wanted to know every detail.

Merlin looked down at Gaius handwriting, broke the seal and quickly read the letter.

Forgive me Merlin, I must own up that I knew something of the stone and the castle from our own family folklore, When I saw Aidith's drawings in the journal I began to grow concerned that magic was still at work: the faces on the drawings were not of anyone I recognised when I put the book in the library. I should have told you. I am sorry.

There is only one thing I know about Aidith and the stone that I did not tell you. She took it but she did not destroy it. I have read the journal many times over the years and I cannot devise where she hid it. But there at the castle you may find out, that is what I hoped. I may have tricked you but the threat of the stone is real.

I wish I could help you further. Merlin I am a foolish old man. I should know better than to meddle in such things.

May the gods protect you.

'Does he say anything about the quest Merlin? Asked Arthur with gravity.

'He's just worried about me,' shrugged Merlin, 'but he does say that he believes that the threat of the stone is real.'

Arthur now addressed them all. He was worried about his father but also knew how important it was to find the stone.

'If I do not destroy this stone then our Kingdom is threatened, I truly believe that now. I do not believe it will serve the greater good to go to my father if I lose the Kingdom because of it.'

'Gaius was doubtful that he was gravely ill sire,' said Rupert.

'What if he dies without you Arthur,' said Merlin earnestly. How will you feel?'

Arthur averted his eyes, Merlin always argued against duty, yet his life was as bound to it as Arthur's.

Arthur leaned close to Merlin and spoke quietly.

'I have had my father with me my whole life Merlin, it will not be as great a sacrifice as yours if I suffer his absence this time or too great a pain for him to bear if I am not with him.'

'We find the stone then,' said Arthur with determination. 'And then we ride to Camelot.'

*

Lillian arrived with fresh milk and they shared a meal around the small table. Ayden chatted away for the first time delighted with the company of real knights and warriors. He was particularly taken with Gawain and his scar.

Brand addressed them after they had eaten their fill. Ayden looked up at him, impressed that the company were playing such close attention to his father.

'We have read the book, which as you rightly say Arthur tells of Aidith's visit here. As you may know I am forbidden to speak too much of anything that will lead you to the stone so Lillian will speak of that. But I will offer my counsel as to your protection and I note that you all wear small armour, which I urge you to discard.' The knights looked at Arthur.

'It is my way to fight on foot unhindered,' said Arthur.

'Just so, as it was in my day, but we found a way of making armour light and easy to wear. If you will permit me I would like to show you my armoury.' So saying Brand went to the door. The others followed.

Are we to meet something fearsome sire? Asked Gawain.

'It is best to be prepared for all eventualities Gawain?' answered the Prince.

Brand led them to a door at the back of the barn that opened into a large room. Swaths of cobwebs hung down from the beams and in every corner of the room heaps of armour and weapons were stacked. Swords and lances, crossbow and maces adorned the walls. And racks of armour six rungs high stood in rows. Nearest the door the suits of armour were well cared for and in pride of place was a great sword of a deep golden hue. 'It is bronze,' said Brand in answer to Arthur's questioning look. The sword had a jewelled hilt of purple amethysts and black obsidian. Brand gestured for Arthur to take it and he hoisted it from its cradle. He appraised it's balance and turned it in the air.' 'It is as perfect a sword as I ever held,' he said to Brand. 'Your work?'

'Not mine, but the Smithy of Brandes who made this place. It was made here but recovered in battle by my father.'

Arthur had never seen such skilled work in an antique weapon. He collected such artefacts and displayed them in his room but never thought to use them. But this! This sword was meant to be wielded. Below the sword, hung a helmet and Arthur next examined this. It had fine tracing on it and was made of the same ruby gold as the sword. It bore the emblem of a snake coiled in a spiral around an oak branch.

'That was the sign of Eadbald's house before the coming of the stone,' said Brand. 'A winter tree adorned our armour after that. A dead tree.' The knights scanned the room and saw the winter tree emblazoned on the shields stacked against the walls.

'I saw this tree in the ruin,' said Rupert. 'On the east wall there was a frieze of knights who wore this emblem, though curiously they had our faces.' Brand frowned. 'Lillian will tell you of it,' he said dismissively.

Merlin called out from the back of the room. 'Here, Brand, this knight must have been a brother to you,' A suit of armour fit for a giant hung on the furthermost rack. Brand climbed over to Merlin and grunted, he ran his hands over the breastplate. 'This was mine,' he said simply.

'You were a knight? Asked Arthur incredulously. The other three men fell silent and looked at the blacksmith.

'I was like you Arthur, the son of a king.' Brand rubbed the grime from the breastplate and then lifted a crown from the dusty floor. 'I ruled in all but name for the last years of my father's life but I could not save the Kingdom. He doomed us with his obsession and when he died, he toppled us all.'

The listeners were silent as they watched this fallen prince. But somehow Arthur felt that he had not been made low. There had always been something kingly about Brand and now it seemed to fit into place, a king with a barren kingdom might do well to simply live as any other rather than rail against his fate.

'Well now,' said Brand ' closing the subject. 'You must all take what you will, but the sword I am bound to give to you Arthur, for I see yours is lost.'

Arthur's hand moved swiftly to his side. Somehow he had not noticed that his sword had gone. It was unthinkable that after wearing it every day for the last fifteen years that he would not miss it. But these had not been ordinary days. Arthur pictured Uther's sword. He had taken it from his father's body and gone to find his murderer. Arthur played out the painful scene, Morgana taking his sword by magic, the wound on his hand. He had taken off his empty scabbard last night and strapped it back on this morning! His father's sword, no matter how real in his hands was just part of an illusion and it was gone.'

Brand laughed at Arthur's shocked face. He put a friendly hand on his shoulder. 'You have survived the Forest of Heaf Arthur, you can be forgiven a small lapse in concentration.'

'Small lapse!' Choked Arthur taking in the amused faces around him 'this better not get out Gawain… Merlin!'

Merlin was tempted to remind him that he had dressed himself but contented himself with the sight of Arthur's red face.

Rupert smiled to himself as he lifted a helmet from the rack. 'Try it on,' urged Brand. 'You will not know you are wearing it I promise you.'