Ok, first off. You guys rock with your comments! I've never actually had the guts to post a longer story on here, but you guys are doing wonder for my self-esteem. Its really appreciated. I hope I'm managing to keep the characters as realistic as possible, apologies if I'm not, I'm trying though!

Chapter 5

Olivia woke to sunlight streaming through the blinds of Alex's office windows sometime the next morning. From the lack of noise coming from the usually bussling building she guessed it must be before eight. She tried to stretch before realising that the slender frame of the lawyer was still curled up tightly against her. She stared intently at the mass of blonde fanned out across her shoulder as the early morning conversation came rushing back to her like a flash of lightening.

Oh God. What am I going to do? How can I ask her if she has an alibi without completely pissing her off. Her emotions are bound to be all over the place. She trusts me. If I fuck this up now, she's going to close up.

Before she had a chance to think up any kind of strategy she felt Alex begin to stir beside her, saw the rapid blinking of eyes adjusting to the light and then their eyes met. Olivia saw the smile start to form across the attorney's face as she snuggled back into the Detective's shoulder. But before the smile could reach her eyes Olivia felt her body go rigid as the memories of her confession came rushing back to her. Alex scrambled away from the couch in a tangle of arms and legs that contradicted her usually composed manner, putting as much room between herself and the Detective as possible in the modestly sized office.

Olivia released Alex from her hold as soon as she felt the resistance begin to arise, allowing the blonde to jump off the couch and begin pacing around the room, releasing ragged breaths. Olivia knew one of the golden rules with rape victims – you let them go when they want to you to. The amount of times she had seen some rookie cop trying to hug a rape victim, thinking offering them comfort was doing them the world of good when in reality the victim didn't want anyone touching them. They needed to be in control of the situation, because there was so much that they had been unable to control beforehand. So that is what Olivia allowed Alex to do as the woman began to silently pace, sending a wry prayer to the carpeting gods after the amount of wear it had taken in the last day while she waited for Alex to calm herself down.

Finally the gasping breaths slowed and Alex stilled by her desk, eyes on the ground as she tried to access how much damage she had done to herself.

Could you have made yourself look like any more of a suspect Cabot? Jesus, you might as well have walked into the squadroom, announced how much you hated the bastard and told them you were glad he's dead. Idiot. Idiot! I've sent people down on less than this so many times.

Olivia took a few seconds to take in the appearance of the woman in front of her; tired eyes from too many nights on that couch, perched on the edge of her desk with her arms wrapped around herself in a protective stance. She looked poised for a quick getaway if anything startled her.

Gentle, Benson. Just be really gentle.

"Hey." Oh yeah, that was really smooth. "Why don't you come sit down next to me and we can talk about this." She patted the sofa where Alex had spent the night. Apparently the gentle approach was not the correct one, which Olivia knew instantly when she saw the fire rising in the Ice Queen's eyes.

"Don't patronise me Detective, I'm a grown woman, not some child you have to tip toe around" she spat out bitterly.

Oh great, I've been down graded from Olivia to Detective again. Excellent winning of trust there Liv. Fucking great.

"And don't treat me like another one of your fucking victims Olivia. I'm not a victim here. I'm not. I just… Oh God. Shit. I don't have an alibi and I told you too much and I've got to think about this. You need to leave. Right now." Olivia didn't move. "Get out Olivia, please!" she begged.

I can't have her seeing me like this

"I'm not leaving right now. No way. I get what's happening here Alex." She stood up and made her way slowly towards the desk. The blonde was still refusing to make any kind of eye contact other than with the apparently-interesting floor. Olivia settled for perching herself on the edge of the desk beside the Alex. She took a deep breath before moving her hand to rest over the other woman's, leaving her the opportunity to move away if she needed to. After a few seconds of strained silence where she was sure Alex would pull away, she continued. "You have lived with this for so long, never saying a word to anyone about it. You lost your mom and that has probably set a lot of emotions off in your head that you don't understand. It is okay that you're angry with him. It's okay that you aren't completely together all the time. I was starting to think you were too perfect anyway. Like robot perfect." She nudged Alex's shoulder gently. "Now someone else knows what happened to you. I know. That must make this scary for you and I'm sorry for that." She trailed off, unsure of what she could say. Her training had never had to extend to dealing with people she knew and it hoped it never would have to, but now she was lost as to how she could help this woman if she wouldn't talk to her.

"Telling you doesn't make it scary Olivia. It makes it real. And that's not scary, it's… It's terrifying" she finally forced out. "My mom was the one who protected me, who saved me. Who was going to protect me from him when she died? I was just so angry and," Olivia held her breath, fearing that Alex was about to confess. But the blonde only braced herself and took a calming breath. "I can't deal with this right now. I need to just, I don't know, not be here right now. I can't believe that bastard is still ruining my life after all these years. He's right where he belongs now, rotting in some hole."

Alex stormed out of her own office with her usual poise, leaving Olivia confused as to how she so easily inter-change between Alex and A.D.A. Cabot as she gathered up her belongings and headed back to the squad room.

That did not go well at all. It's like she is trying to give me more ammunition to arrest her.

She entered the squad room just as the department was gathering around the evidence board to discuss any further developments. As she grabbed a seat near Elliot he leaned over and whispered in her ear "same clothes as yesterday partner."

She lets out an acknowledging grumble in reply and kept her eyes focus on the Captain.

"You finally get Cabot to…"

"Finish that sentence and you won't be making it to thirteen kids." she whispered menacingly, before adding a "Partner."

The both turned their attention back to the group, as Fin stood up to go over his new leads.

"Those light-dodgers in the lab think that our perp has some knowledge. Forensically I mean. There's no DNA, no trace, no nothing. It's like a ghost rolled up, did their business and evaporated into the great unknown. The thinking down there is that it's an inside job. " said Fin dejectedly, before adding " I can't say that disagree Cap. No regular perp is this clean."

Oh this just gets better doesn't it? Why not just hang a big guilty neon sign over her head?

"So, they think…"

" The term vigilante has been used." Chimed in Elliot.

"I've tried telling you guys that statistically speaking those in the criminal enforcement profession are more likely…" Munch trailed off with his latest conspiracy theory when the other three Detectives and Cragen stared at him.

"So we've got a rogue police officer or C.S.I. taking out unprosecuted offenders and cleaning up after themselves. Since they would have been SVU cases were they reported, I want you guys to look at anyone that has been in and out of this office in the last six months. If that doesn't throw anything up, you go deeper, understand?" Cragen turned and retreated back into his office.

While everyone else sprang into action around the office, Olivia remained planted in front of the evidence board. Elliot, realising that his partner hadn't started searching through documents at the lightening speed she usually used, strode back over to her.

"We got work to do Liv. I ain't carry you again" he joked, bumping her with his shoulder.

"I need to talk to you El" she mumbled, motioning him to follow her into the nearest vacant room.

"You ain't gonna confess to me are you Liv, because I gotta tell you that would suck. I'm way too old to be breaking in a new partner and," whatever witty remark he was going to come out with died in his throat when he saw the look on Olivia's face.

"Lawyer's know a lot about forensics, don't they El?" she said quietly. She couldn't believe she was contemplating breaking Alex's trust. No way, She couldn't do it. But Elliot was almost as good of a Detective as she was; he knew where that sentence was leading.

"You think Cabot's got something to do with this? Come on, she's a family member of a victim. Actually the only victim who happens to be clean. All the others have SVU written all over their history, so why would she want to…" the words died in his throat for a second time in as many minutes as he came to the same conclusion Olivia had the previous day.

"You gotta work on getting full sentences out El," she half-mumbled. "I haven't been completely honest with you about how much I know. I just, I can't believe I'm doing this. How can I be thinking how much I want to kiss her, but in the same thought that she's capable of," she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. Just like Alex's confession, saying it aloud gave it substance and life. It made it real. She looked up, as if praying for an intervention, but getting nothing but greying ceiling tiles in desperate need of replacement.

"Liv? Please, if you know something, tell me. I don't want you paying for someone else's secret with your career."

She's never going to forgive me.

"Okay. Okay." She uttered, resigned. "It started when she ID-ed Wallace Cabot, I guess."

By the time she had finished filling Elliot in, he was staring in utter disbelief and she felt like she had just betrayed Alex.

Probably because you just did