I was still feeling ill by the time we made camp, but the more distance we placed between ourselves and the deep roads the easier it seemed for me to force the image of the broodmothers out of my mind. I could only be supremely grateful we didn't have to fight them from close quarters. "I never expected you to be particularly religious, Maggie," Nathaniel said over dinner. "Well, either of you, for that matter."

"I can only speak for myself, Anders and I aren't exactly a mage group mind."

"We're not? I'm hurt," Anders piped up from across the fire where he had been quizzing Sigrun on the legion of the dead. She was, at the same time, trying to explain to Justice that it was a symbolic death, not literal. Oghren had been hitting on her until he passed out.

I just ignored him for now. "As for me, I believe in the Maker and I follow Andraste's teachings." I shrugged. "I don't agree with the Chantry on, well, a lot of things. I don't think they follow the Chant as they should. They add to it, they create rules that never existed."

"Like the ones for mages."

"Among other things," I replied. "But yeah, that would be a particular sticking point for me. Andraste never said to take children from their homes and imprison them for life, just for being born as they are."

"It's just surprising, given that you're a-"

"Blood mage? The Chantry would think so, but the Chant itself never mentions any specific kinds of magic. It says malificar are those who use the gift of magic against the Maker's children." I grabbed more of the stew he had prepared for dinner; both Anders and Nathaniel had proven themselves surprisingly competent cooks, to my relief. It saved us from my cooking, which was serviceable but could only be called good when compared to Alistair's. Returning to my seat, I went on, "I think even being a blood mage I can still be good, and that someone using only the most appropriate Circle magic to murder innocents would be a malificar in Andraste's eyes."

"Can't you use it to control minds, though?"

"In theory I could. I don't know how, I never learned the spells. Couldn't you use violence to control people's actions?"

"I wouldn't do that, though."

"Well, neither would I."

"I think you're over-simplifying things. It isn't the same."

"No? Most mages couldn't threaten with physical force, we're not strong enough. It's not exact, but I think it is close enough for comparison." I could tell he still didn't quite agree with me, but he was thinking about what I had said. I hoped my actions over the last month would be enough to demonstrate to him I wasn't about to become a screaming rage abomination, but I suppose the prejudices against mages were hard set.

"Nathaniel, haven't you noticed I'm not exactly comfortable with having power? Why would I seek out more of it? I wasn't raised a noble, I don't know how to handle this. I grew up being taught I was cursed, despised by even blessed Andraste, a danger to the whole world. Not to be some military commander and politician. I just want to be Maggie the Grey Warden again; I hate being isolated by all this."

"Perhaps you should stop isolating yourself, then. Everyone knows you were in charge during the blight, and that worked out for you. Remember the title when you have to play the noble's games, and forget it the rest of the time. I doubt Weisshaupt intended it as a punishment."

"I don't think any of us could begin to untangle Weisshaupt's motivations. From what I know they all but run the nation, and would be thrilled if we did the same thing in Ferelden."

"Don't we, in a way? I mean, the King is…?" he shrugged.

"Alistair is only a Warden in the most technical sense. He puts our concerns first when they coincide with the rest of the nation, and that's how it should be. Ferelden needs Wardens, just like everyone does, so right now we have a lot of royal support. Part of giving us the Arling was so, in the future when our numbers are where they should be, we can support ourselves without the Crown paying tithes."

"What should our numbers be?"

"I have no idea," I laughed. "I figure I'll just keep recruiting until we run out of space."

"I suppose I should be thankful I got in before you resorted to sticking people in the barracks," he replied, joining me in laughter.

"Hey, being one of the senior Wardens in Ferelden should have some perks. We may not have horses, but at least we have private rooms!"

"Private rooms?" Sigrun spoke up, astonished. I noticed the tattoos on her face, which had been hidden by her helmet before. She was clearly casteless- no doubt she'd never had her own bedroom. I nodded to her.

"I think you'll be across the hall from me? Not sure. We'll get you set up once we're home, though." I had decided we would swing by the city on the way back. Sigrun lost almost all her possessions when the darkspawn took out the legion. We had to get her a tent and bedroll, and whatever else rogues needed. Poisons and lockpicks? I had no idea, I'd just give her some gold and let her get what she needed. I offered her my tent until then. Even if she was dealing with the open sky better than Oghren had, she would need the roof overhead more than me if she wanted any rest. It wasn't the first time I had slept outside.

Part of me thought putting her through the joining first would be a wise idea, but I wanted to assume she would make it through. What was a little darkspawn blood to the last surviving member of the Legion of the Dead, after all?

Everyone drifted to their tents, leaving me by the fire. With the new additions to our party we had juggled the schedule- now I was on first watch once more. My favorite- staying up late beat getting up early any day of the week.

"You're actually sleeping outside?" Anders settled next to me. I had left the scheduling of watches to Nathaniel, he seemed to enjoy remembering which shift everyone preferred and pairing up people who would get along. I couldn't be surprised at who he decided would keep watch with me.

"That's my plan. I did for a month straight after I became a Warden, and I had a tent then. I just liked being under the stars. Besides," I added, "Sigrun will be more comfortable with even just canvas overhead. She's never been to the surface before now."

"So you just collect people everywhere you go, then?"

"You sound like Alistair. I'll remind you that method ended a blight!" I laughed, though. "Before I left Denerim he asked me if every Warden in Ferelden would be an apostate, a crazy person, or a crazy apostate. I guess he was right to be concerned." He laughed, and we fell into silence for a while, watching the fire burn down.

Anders' face took on a more serious expression. "So, you know how I told you I didn't kill those templars when we met?" I nodded. "That may not have been the… complete truth."

"You don't say," I replied dryly.

"Well, it wasn't my plan. One of them charged into my line of fire against the darkspawn, that was an accident. Really," he stressed. "But I suppose I should have remembered to shout 'hey, fire can burn templars, too' before he did, you know most of them aren't very bright. The others turned on me after that."

"Honestly, Anders, I don't really care if you killed them. You were right; I would have done the same thing. I don't know why I even brought it up."

"Because I was being an ass," he offered. "I don't have any right to question your past. I'm not even… well, we're not…" He shrugged, blushing. Well, at least he was aware of that. Shame the rest of our group assumed otherwise. "I suppose he wasn't all bad if you were with him for so long."

"You did make a good point, though," I admitted. "But I highly doubt it would be him." I fed more wood into the fire, shivering slightly as the temperature dropped. "I'll just find that Dark Wolf person when we're in the city, hopefully finding out which nobles hate me will end this."

Anders disappeared to his tent, returning a moment later with a blanket and Ser Pounce-a-lot. He wrapped the wool around my shoulders before sitting back down, holding the kitten in his lap. "You're going to freeze out here tonight."

"Oh, I suppose you have a suggestion?" Maker, was I doing that again? Shut up, Maggie.

"I can think of several. If I mentioned any of them you'd just freeze in place and blush, though." I guess he had noticed, then. Well, how could he not? I was well aware of the hopelessness of this losing battle by now, but I kept up the charade.

"So," I said, hoping to change the subject. "You told me I could ask all about you, and I haven't had a chance yet."

"I did? When did I say that?"

"At some point between our creating the most dangerous card game in Thedas and almost burning the Keep down, I believe."

"How depressing, you remember things I say when drinking. Fine, ask away."

I laughed. "So, your birthday is soon?"

"In three days. You remembered?" I nodded. "How sweet of you!" he chuckled. "You know, we should just invent a birthday for you. Everyone needs one. Just pick a day, I'll never tell."

"14 Kingsway," I replied.

"Did you pick that because it's only two months away?"

I shook my head. "That's the day I became a Warden, seemed as good as anything." He nodded. "Another question, then: Namaya."

"That's a name, not a question." He grinned. "I thought you sounded jealous!"

I made a face. "I mean what did you do to make her so angry she sent you into a templar trap?"

"Nothing, I swear it!" I looked at him, raising my eyebrow in disbelief. "I don't think she even knew it was a trap, anyways. That's not her style."

"Anders, she took the time to warn me about you. You did something!"

He groaned. "I was worried you remembered that. All right, I might have stood her up- but I got captured, I couldn't help that."

"And?" I said, knowing there had to be more.

"Maker's breath," he muttered. "Well, we were staying at an inn. She went to bed, I kept drinking. I might have ended up in the wrong room. With her sister."

"Anders!" I gasped.

"It was dark! I didn't know! They sounded an awful lot alike. Her sister knew I was in the wrong room by mistake. She could have said something, you know, instead of playing along!"

"You had no idea you climbed into bed with the wrong sister?"

"No! Well, not at first. I mean, obviously I figured it out eventually, but by that point I was already in trouble, so I thought, why bother stopping, I'm getting screamed at tomorrow either way." He shook his head, the fire throwing shadows across his cheekbones. "I think I would have stopped, though, if I'd known how loud her sister was planning on shouting my name. Having Namaya catch me halfway through was much worse than being yelled at the next day."

I now knew he wasn't the type to intentionally sleep with someone's sister, which was slightly better than what I had feared. Not quite as good as if he was the type to never sleep with someone's sister, though. Not that I have a sister. Well, one that I know of. And, he had somehow managed to include within the story the information that he made women scream his name out loud enough to be heard from next door. That wasn't going to make my life any easier, and I'm pretty sure that's exactly why he made sure to say it. It wasn't nearly as bad as I had feared, though. I was expecting something overtly malicious, not dumb luck and poor judgment.

When I didn't reply Anders spoke up. "Are you horrified? Scandalized?"

I laughed. "Actually, I was expecting something a lot worse. I suppose I can't judge, I spent more than a year sharing my bed with a man I met while he was trying to kill me."

"Is that an interest of yours? Should I warn Nathaniel?"

"Maker's breath, no!" I laughed. "One assassin was enough for me, thanks. Besides, Nathaniel isn't exactly my type." He seemed to consider this for a moment, but any further questions were cut short by Justice climbing from his own tent.

"I believe it is my watch?" Maker, how did he do that? I never get up on time in the middle of the night unless someone shakes me. He had readily volunteered for the dreaded second shift, claiming he enjoyed, but didn't actually require sleep. After we exchanged greetings and Justice settled by the fire, Anders scooted off to his own tent and I fell to my bedroll near the fire.

Before I went to sleep Justice asked me about the stars: he was enraptured by them. That was something I could easily understand. I'd seen them through windows for most of my life, but that was nothing compared to actually sitting beneath them. It was the reason I slept outside for so long after becoming a Warden. We spoke for a while before he reminded me I would need rest to function tomorrow. I had to agree with that. We were still encountering small bands of darkspawn several times a day.

Curling up in the blanket Anders had given me, I began to drift off. My last coherent thought was that it smelled like him.