Anders and I had, just barely, managed to intercept Justice before he could speak to the Revered Mother on our behalf. Apparently he decided my off the cuff 'please don't think we're completely bereft of morals' excuse of mages not being able to get married implied that we were, in actuality, desperately wishing to get married. After a good deal of stuttering and blushing we managed to explain to him that marriage was not generally undertaken by people who had only known each other two months. That humiliation past us, we collected Nathaniel and returned home.

"Commander," Velenna called me over after our return.

"Please, just Maggie. We're not an army, rank is mostly ceremonial."

She nodded. "All right, Maggie. The dwarf has told me much about you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? Which one?"

"Oghren. I must say, I'm surprised." I wondered which stories Oghren decided to share, remembering his goal of 'serious drinking' for the day. "I had assumed you were a typical sheml-" she blushed. "A typical human, he corrected me."

"A typical human?" I asked her. I wasn't sure what that could mean, she already knew I was a mage, that alone made me anything but typical.

"Prejudiced. I assumed it of you, when the fault was my own. He said you pushed to give the elves in Denerim political representation, and that the land granted to the wandering clans in the south was your idea as well."

"Neither was my idea. I fought with King Alistair, back when he was just Warden Alistair. He saw the way slavers decimated the alienage, same as I did. I mentioned if they had a Bann of their own that wouldn't have happened, he just remembered it when he had the power to make things right. As for the land, well, I was offered a boon in exchange for my service. I said the boon should go to our allies who fought and died with us. It was the King, or perhaps Chancellor Eamon, who decided the boon would take the form of land for the Dalish, more freedom for the mages, and aid reclaiming the deep roads for the dwarves." Again with the overblown stories. If I told someone I didn't agree with stabbing babies people would say I was the reason babies were no longer stabbed every day!

"Never the less, you have proven yourself a friend to my people, while you are not one of us. Why?"

I gestured to the staff on my back, still cringing from the afternoon at the Chantry. "I'm hated and feared because of something I can't help; I spent most of my life a prisoner because of it. Let's say I can sympathize."

"That was your… Circle? The one Anders repeatedly escaped? Oghren told me about that, but he suggested I shouldn't bring it up to either of you."

I laughed. "He would. Yeah, talking about it is a danger unless you have a lot of time to listen to us rant."

"Strange. Among my people magic is seen as a blessing, a gift showing you are favored by the creators."

"I've heard that before. Keeper Lanaya told me the same thing. I must say, it made me wish I had been born Dalish."

Now it was her turn to laugh. "I never expected to hear a human admit to that!" She leaned towards me, pitching her voice lower. "Your friend Oghren, he shares many things he shouldn't while drinking. I know much more of what it is to be a Warden now." I had to have a chat with Oghren. He could drink as much as he wanted, but not if it made him gossip about the secrets of the order. Velanna must have seen the anger on my face. "He was only trying to make me understand why you were resistant to my joining. I do, now. I still want to, though, if you'll have me."

I looked over at her. She was completely serious. "If this is the life you're willing to accept, we can do the Joining tomorrow morning." She thanked me and bid me goodnight.

"Strange," I muttered the next morning, rolling over in bed.

"Hmmm?" Anders groaned, wiping sleep from his eyes.

"Just, waking up here." I sat up and stretched. "I spent, hm, four years living in a house with my parents, nineteen or so at the tower, and a year at the palace. But for the last three years when I get up I'm confused to see anything that isn't my tent around me."

"Huh. When I wake up I always expect to be back in the tower, and then I have to remind myself I'll never have to go back."

"No wonder you're such a morning person."

"There are worse things to be. You always seem to get up in a good mood when we're on the road, though. That's strange."

"Is it? I like having things to do. After a while I miss a real bed and a hot bath, but I'd rip my hair out if we sat around the keep all day doing whatever it is nobles do."

"You're not having fun unless there's a chance for someone to kill you, apparently. Sometimes your stories of the blight make it sound like one big two-year long party."

"We had our fun." I laughed, remembering how entertaining just being at camp could be some nights, with Leliana singing, Zevran and I dancing, Oghren telling stories that made Alistair's ears blush, and everyone sharing drinks. "Well, at the time I thought it was horrible. I got a sunburn the first day out of the tower, and it lasted two years. I don't think a day went by where I wasn't injured or recovering from a serious injury. I've broken more bones than I knew I had and I've had things I didn't even believe existed try to kill me. All with a sunburn."

"Like what?"

"You know the legend of Flemeth?" I asked him. He nodded. "Her for one. She can apparently shapeshift into a high dragon. Or could, before we killed her."

"You killed Flemeth? The Flemeth? Of Flemeth and Conobar?"

"Her daughter, Morrigan, asked me to. At the time I thought we were friends. Apparently Flemeth extended her life by taking over her daughter's bodies one by one over the years. Or so Morrigan said, although now I wonder how much she told me was true; she managed to prove her motives were never entirely honest at the end of things." I shook my head briefly, as if that would dispel the lingering anger. "Flemeth saved Alistair and I after Ostagar. I hate to think we killed her because her conniving daughter lied, but I worry about it often."

"Morrigan was Flemeth's daughter? The Morrigan you traveled with? What did she do, anyways? You and Oghren both talk about her like she's evil incarnate."

"She joined us, right from the beginning, to stop the blight. Her mother sent her, but she stayed of her own will. We became friends. We talked often, shared spells, even gossiped. She understood why I hated the Circle when no one else did, or would. She called me her sister."

"So what happened?"

"Turns out she knew more about the Wardens than I did, and not with good reason. I didn't know how the archdemon was killed. I didn't know anything. Everything I told you the morning after your Joining I found out slowly over two years, either because Alistair would 'forget' to let me in on it, or because he didn't know himself. I'd been a Warden for a day when the order was wiped out and Alistair for six months. Before the battle we were the two most junior members in the country."

Anders gasped slightly at that. "You know, I'd managed to piece that together from what you've told me, but to hear it spelled out is something else. It must have been horrifying."

I nodded. "Before the Landsmeet we rescued a man named Riordan from Howe's dungeons, he was a senior Orlesian Warden, and I was so thrilled that finally someone who had the slightest idea of what to do was with us. I decided then and there if he said jump I would say 'how high, ser,' since I had absolutely no clue, and had managed so far on luck alone."

"Makes sense to me. I'd do the same."

"Exactly! That's why I conscripted Loghain even though Alistair stopped talking to me for months over it- Riordan said we should. Neither of us knew everything, and I thought there had to be a good reason. Then I found out, after Alistair said we were on our own, about how an archdemon is killed. So I just learned I've got about a thirty percent chance of dying the next day and I've traded one of my best friends for a guy who spent the last two years trying to kill me. I get back to my room and Morrigan's standing there waiting."

I was trying to focus my mind, I had been getting off track. Dropping back to the bed I pulled the blankets up and shivered, rolling on my side to face Anders.

"She told me she had a way out, a way to make sure I wouldn't die making the final blow. I asked her how she knew, and why she never told me, but she just waved her hand like it was nothing!"

"You're kidding? All that time and she never told you? No wonder you were mad."

"That wasn't the worst of it. Morrigan tells me I have to convince Loghain of all people to sleep with her."

"Strange time for matchmaking."

"She didn't want him specifically. If it was Alistair she would have asked me to convince him. She just needed one male Warden, not terribly tainted yet. She was going to use magic to ensure she got pregnant."

"Huh, and I'd only used magic to ensure the opposite." I snickered and he looked at me. "I thought a Warden couldn't have children?"

I shrugged. "It's next to impossible. You'd have to be very soon after the Joining, no more than a few years, and the other parent has to be untainted. But even then it's unlikely. She needed magic to make sure."

"All right, I was a little worried for a moment."

"Aw, don't want a baby mage running through the Keep?" He stuck his tongue out at me. "Don't worry, there has never been a case of two Wardens having a child together. Even getting pregnant has only happened a handful of times, and it never takes."

"Thank the Maker. Uh, no offense."

"None taken, I'm in complete agreement." He relaxed and I went on. "Morrigan tells me that when the archdemon dies, instead of killing the Warden, the old god's spirit will seek out the tainted child instead. It would have been born with the soul of an old god."

"Andraste's sword, you're kidding me? That's a horrible plan!"

"That's what I told her. You know what darkspawn do between blights? They dig for the old gods. They're as drawn to them as they are to Wardens. This child would be both. It would be like a great big beacon for them!"

"And when they find the old gods…"

I nodded, shuddering. "You know what made killing the archdemon easy? In a city filled with darkspawn it was an enormous flying dragon. Kind of stands out that way. Imagine if it was just another normal-looking darkspawn, like a tainted human? They could hide it, we would never find it, we wouldn't stand a chance."

"Makers's breath…"

"I told her all that and she didn't even listen. Either she didn't believe me, or just didn't care. She told me it was the only reason she had joined us to fight, and she would leave if I didn't help her. I refused, she told me I was a fool and walked out." I grimaced. "She was never my friend. She was never my sister," I spat the word out like poison. "It was all part of some mad plot of hers."

"But… why? Why would she want a child that would attract every darkspawn within miles?" Anders was staring at me, trying to piece it together.

"I don't know. She wouldn't tell me, and I never saw her again. I don't even think she believed me when I told her that would happen." I snorted. "To think, she looked down on me for using blood magic."

A pounding on the door cut any response he might have had short. Before I could pull a nightshirt on and answer Varel was storming into my bedroom. I hastily covered myself with the sheet and sat up.

"Varel?" I asked, taking in the panicked look on his face.

"Darkspawn are marching on the city!"

"Get everyone up, I'll be right downstairs!" He ran off and I leapt from the bed, quickly putting on a robe and arming myself as heavily as I could. Anders wasn't far behind me, slipping into his own room for his clothes and staff. "Let's MOVE," I screamed as I ran into the hall, taking the stairs down two at a time.

The main hall was filled with pacing, panicked nobles. Even the Revered Mother was there, although why she wasn't at the Chantry, say, comforting terrified people I couldn't guess. "Who brought the report?" I called as I ran in. A young elven woman stood up. "Did you see them yourself?" She nodded, shaking. "How many? Roughly."

"I- I don't know?"

"I don't need anything exact. I'd just feel better with a very general idea. Are we talking a hundred, several hundred, a thousand?" I took a breath. "Several thousand?"

"Oh no, ma'am, nothing like that. Several hundred? Perhaps?" I nodded, thanked, her, started towards the other side of the room, away from the crowd.

"Is that good?" Nathaniel said, falling in step beside me as we walked to Varel.

"No. There's more around, I could feel it in Kal'Hirol. They've split up."

Varel informed me that we could only send a small team in, without troops. That answered the split darkspawn forces question. No troops. I shuddered. Even in Denerim I had armies to help.

I dropped to the dias, sitting on the floor by the throne. "Andraste's ass," I had no idea what to do. Think, Maggie, think, I pressed myself. Everyone looked at me, waiting for a decision. No matter how I twisted the situation in my mind it remained the same. Hundreds of darkspawn, maybe four Wardens, and no one backing us. This wasn't bad odds, this was impossible odds.

"Nathaniel," I called. He kneeled next to me. "Well, second in command, any ideas?"

"I've been a Warden for two months, Maggie."

"Yeah, and I was a Warden for a single day before I led everyone against the blight. Don't sell yourself short." I took a breath. "All right, fine. Two teams. I lead one, head to the city, you lead the other. Stay here." He nodded.

"Sound plan."

"If I- If anything happens, you're Commander. I trust you." He nodded.

Anders sat beside me. "So, you don't have high expectations for our little trip?"

I shook my head. "Four versus hundreds? Sorry, not really, although I might surprise myself."

"Come on, you killed an archdemon!"

"Sure, with an army behind me." I took his hand. "For whatever it's worth, it's been a good couple months." I berated myself for pushing him away for so long. "I should have… Well, never mind," I shrugged. "Too late now." What could I say? 'Hey, if I knew I'd die in two months I would have slept with you much sooner since it turns out I like you way more than I expected I would?' Not exactly the last words of a hero.

"It's that bad, then?" I didn't answer. "I hope you don't intend to go on this suicide mission without a healer."

"You don't have to do this, Anders."

"What are you on about now? I know I don't, but I am anyways. Just try and stop me."

I stared at him gratefully. He gave me a sheepish grin and shrugged. "Thank you," I said. "All right, time to look like I know what I'm doing."

We stood up and I called the other Wardens over, gesturing for Velanna and Varel to join us. "I'm leading the team into the city; Nathaniel is leading the team staying here. Anders is with me, I can't do healing myself. Velenna, if anything happens here, can you act as healer? I know it's not your specialty, but we have a full infirmary with everything you would need." She nodded.

I turned to the seneschal. "Varel, Weisshaupt knows Nathaniel is my second?" He nodded. "Good. If I don't return, he's Commander. I don't want them sending someone from Orlais here to run things, people would riot and we'd never recruit a soul. They'll try since he's new, don't let them." I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to remember what else had to be done. "There's a letter in the top drawer of my desk, wrapped around several others that are sealed. I left instructions in the letter for my personal effects, the others are to be delivered." It was nothing fancy, I didn't exactly have piles of wealth. My magical items to Jowan, my warden items to Alistair, clothes and jewelry to Leliana. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that but I'd rather be prepared.

Oghren lightly punched me in the arm. "You think you're taking all the fun? I spit on that archdemon with you, I'm going, too." He was actually being completely literal. After the final battle he, Zevran, and I managed to drag our broken bodies over to the archdemon's corpse and spit in its face. I still rated it as one of the high points of my life. We then collapsed to the ground waiting for someone to find us, both men berating me for being the only mage in the world who couldn't heal.

"It's the Architect's turn now!" I grinned at the thought of spitting on that creepy bastard. Experiment on me, will you? We'll show you how well that goes over.

"Damn straight!"

"You sound like this is a suicide mission," Sigrun commented.

"I won't lie, our odds aren't great. I'm preparing for the worst, but I hope this can be managed."

"Well, count me in. I'm dead already!"

"Fair enough," I told her. I was grateful not to have to ask anyone to come with me. I knew none would refuse, at least, but I didn't want to drag anyone to their death against their will.

Justice gripped my arm. "If I ever had any doubts of you, they are erased. Fight nobly and, if you die, die with honor."

"My family built that city over generations," Nathaniel told me. "Don't let her fall. Your home will be safe until you return, Commander. I'll make sure your trust hasn't been misplaced."

"May the wind be ever at your back, Commander," Velanna told me.

"Maker protect you and hold you close, Commander," Varel added.

I smiled while shuddering inwardly. It was obvious none of them expected us to live. I had to get out of here before we started getting maudlin. No one would feel safe if they saw the only Wardens in the country gathered in the corner making tearful goodbyes and the nobles were watching our conference from across the room with growing interest. "Please don't build the pyre just yet, they don't even have an archdemon with them!" I managed a grin at that, and the tension dissipated.

"All right," I said, "everyone follow at least to the door, so they see the full strength of the Wardens, it'll look better than just four of us." Varel gestured to the crowd before I could go. Oh Maker, was this Inspiring Speech time? I was horrible at that. They nobles stared at me and, yes, apparently it was Inspiring Speech time.

I gave Varel a desperate glance, he only shrugged. No help there.

"Um, everyone?" I said, walking to the middle of the room. I didn't need to say anything, they were all watching me. "I'm sorry, I usually avoid public speeches." Most of them stared at me blankly. "I'm Warden Commander Maggie Amell," I added. "I led the Wardens during the blight." That wasn't technical, but it was close enough. Now they were looking at me hopefully, like I would raise my arm, perform some spell, and announce the darkspawn were all dead. The Revered Mother was shooting daggers from her eyes, but I ignored her as best I could.

"When… when I survived Ostagar I'd been a Warden for one day. I knew the motto of the Wardens, 'In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice,' and nothing else. Everyone who should have taught me was killed that day." I hoped they would follow my train of thought. See, I've faced impossible odds before! "But, Alis- His Highness and I spent every day trying to live up to those words. In the end, I hope we did." Oh good, some are nodding. "I can only say that today we'll do the same thing. We'll do what the Grey Wardens have done for over a thousand years. We'll fight the darkspawn, and we'll win." Or die trying. To my shock most applauded. I took that as our cue to leave.

Heading towards the door I forced myself to maintain a confident expression as I nodded to the nobles, and not bolt. The other Wardens fell in line behind me.

"Commander," someone called. I turned my head to see the Revered Mother looking at us. "Will the Wardens accept the Maker's blessing?" Please please don't let her turn this into a public anti-mage protest, I silently prayed, knowing there was no way for me to refuse in a room full of every noble in the Arling without causing a small riot.

"Of course, Revered Mother. Thank you," I said, trying to sound like I actually wanted it. I could see Velanna make a face and step back. Oghren and Sigrun averted their eyes and stood to one side as politely as they could, which wasn't very politely in the case of Oghren. The rest of us went to one knee, waiting for her. I could hear Anders grumble something behind me, and both Varel and Nathaniel ordering him to be quiet.

"Maker, my enemies are abundant. Many are those who rise up against me. But my faith sustains me; I shall not fear the legion, should they set themselves against me."

Huh. That was unexpected. I'm sure she saw the surprise on my face. I stood up, thanking her again, this time sincerely. We saluted each other and parted at the main door of the Keep.

Once outside we headed for the stables. "Sigrun, double up with Oghren, he's the best rider of the group." He had learned in the army, where riding was a near-daily activity. "Anders and I will do our best not to fall off our horses."

"So, will these things be an annual event for us, Mags?" I laughed. Oghren was nothing if not reassuring before a battle.

"Oh yeah. Last year the archdemon, this year talking darkspawn, maybe next year they'll learn to fly. That would be something."

"Shouldn't you be scared?" Anders whispered to me as we walked.

"I am," I admitted. "Nothing I can do about it, though. This is what Wardens do. You never know, my luck may not have run out yet, we could be fine." I looked at him. "You?"

"Nooo, nooo, don't be silly. Well, perhaps a little." He chuckled at that. "You may be right; the Maker may watch us today. But, if not, at least I'll die a free man."

Anders grabbed me before I could climb into the saddle, pulling me towards him. "Maggie," he whispered in my ear, "good doesn't begin to describe the last couple months." Embracing me, we kissed, first lightly, then as if we realized it could be the last time, more intensely. His hands dug into my waist, almost painfully tight. We parted and he ran his fingers across my cheek. "I- We should get going," Anders said abruptly, face coloring. I nodded and the four of us rode for the city.

Continuity FAIL on my part. You can't actually recruit Loghain and make Alistair king unless he marries Anora in game. Oops. Well, let's just make her the Teyrna of Gwaren. She totally loves it there.