A/N: I'm not going to actually write very much of the trip to Mexico, because as far as this story is concerned, that's going to go pretty much the same way that it did on screen; the only thing that's going to change is the reaction to the trip back in Beverly Hills. Sorry if people were looking forward to those scenes, but I don't think

Part Nine

It was like junior year all over again; except that this time, the excuse had nothing to do with any kind of flea market, and the brunette sneaking out of the Walsh house to run to Mexico with Dylan was Valerie.

Valerie Malone.

Valerie Malone is going to Mexico with Dylan McKay.

No matter how many times she thought the words, or reminded herself of Dylan's explanations, no matter how many times she replayed Valerie's nervous explanation or the pleading look on her friend(former friend?)'s face, Brenda just couldn't wrap her head around the idea.

She'd known about Val and Dylan for months, but it had never seemed real until now.

"I think you're overreacting," Donna announced, stirring her milkshake with a straw. She, Brenda, Kelly and Andrea had resumed their weekly 'sorority' sister meetings at the Peach Pit, and they were gossiping over milkshakes and fries. "Dylan is completely in love with you."

"Didn't he just give you that big box of letters?" Andrea added, munching at a French fry, and trying to hide a glance at the clock. Andrea was always nervous to leave Hannah for too long. "He knows better than to screw it up this time."

"And you said yourself that Val has been sneaking out at night with some unknown rich guy," Kelly offered with a smirk. "No way Valerie Malone chooses broke Dylan over guy with a… what kind of car was it? A Mercedes, right?"

"I guess," Brenda shrugged. "He did say that he needed someone that Kevin and Suzanne wouldn't recognize, and I can't exactly run off to Mexico right now anyway…"

"See?" Donna smiled brightly. "Overreacting."

"But that's the point," Brenda frowned into her milkshake. "I'm always going to overreact. I'm always going to wonder if he's seeing someone else when he's not with me. I'm always going to wonder if I'm really his only girlfriend or if…"

She trailed off, not ready to reveal to her friends her deepest worry when it came to Dylan. Then she caught the look on Kelly's face.

"Kel, I'm sorry," she shook her head. "Let's talk about something else, okay?"

"No, you're right," Kelly picked up a fry and then dropped it back onto her plate. "You're always going to wonder whether you can trust him. And whether you can trust me."

"That's not what I was going to say."

"But it is true," Kelly met Brenda's eye and for the first time, Brenda saw real guilt on her friend's face. Donna and Andrea were suddenly completely engrossed in a side conversation and pretended not to notice Brenda and Kelly's suddenly serious discussion. "Brenda, I am so, so sorry."

"Kelly, it's in the past, okay?"

"No, it's not okay," Kelly shook her head emphatically. "I promised you that I wouldn't go after him, at that slumber party sophomore year, I promised you that you could trust me with your boyfriend, and then I broke that promise. And the thing is, when I finally got him, it was beyond clear that he was still in love with you."

Brenda felt tears brewing in her eyes, and saw a few running down her friend's face. They hadn't really had an honest discussion about Dylan since… they had never really had an honest discussion about Dylan.

"Brenda, I am so, so sorry."

Brenda smiled through her tears and reached across the table for Kelly's hand.

"I forgive you," she told her friend, and she realized as she said it that she actually meant it. And if she could forgive Kelly for having a relationship with Dylan behind Brenda's back, surely she could forgive Valerie for having meaningless sex with Dylan after they'd broken up. Right?

"What were you going to say?" Andrea asked, after Brenda and Kelly had hugged it out.

"What?"

"Earlier, you said you weren't going to say what Kelly thought you were going to say," Andrea fixed Brenda with her best curious and determined look, and Brenda wondered for the thousandth time why Andrea Zuckerman was studying medicine instead of journalism. "So what were you going to say?"

Brenda sighed, seeing Donna and Kelly looking on with equally interested expressions. No way she was going to get out of answering now.

"I'm always going to wonder if he's only with me because he thinks I'm dying and he feels sorry for me."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Brando," Steve slid into a seat next to Brandon, who was studying in the campus center by the coffee stand. "How's it hanging?"

"It's hanging," Brandon shrugged. "What are you still doing on campus?"

"Just got out of my last final," Steve smirked, fist pumping the air. "And I'm guessing you still have at least one more."

"In two hours," Brandon sighed. It was actually fairly amazing that he had made it through finals week at all, given how distracted he was. Each exam felt like the PSATs all over again, except that he couldn't just walk out and take them over again when Brenda was better. If Brenda got better.

"How's Brenda doing?" Steve seemed to read his mind, looking curiously at Brandon. "Is she okay?"

Great, it's time for the hourly Brenda report, Brandon thought with a mental groan. It seemed like every time he ran into one of their friends, everyone asked about Brenda right away. It was hard enough to deal with his sister's condition and his own feelings about it on his own in private, but to have everyone he knew ask him about it constantly only added to his struggle.

"She's… I don't know, man," he shrugged honestly, not wanting Steve to see his frustration. Steve was a good friend and genuinely concerned. And Brandon should be happy that so many people cared how Brenda was, although, in the back of his mind he was wondering why they hadn't been concerned last semester, when she'd seemed to be healthy and having the time of her life. "Most days she seems fine. Actually, I hardly see her. She stays in the garage most of the time."

"But they still think the surgery went well and everything, right?"

"Yeah, they got rid of both tumors on the first tries," Brandon looked at the coffee stand and mentally cursed when he saw it was closed. He needed a distraction that wasn't centered around studying or his sister. "But she still needs to go through chemotherapy in a few weeks, and then eventually radiation and everything."

"But if the tumors are gone, she'll be okay, right?"

"I wish it was that simple," Brandon shook his head sadly. He'd had the same initial assumption, as had his parents. With Sheila it had been different; they'd done ten surgeries before eventually removing both breasts just to get rid of the cancer. It had seemed like so much of a struggle. "The cancer's still in her blood stream though."

"So she's still got a fight."

Brandon only nodded.

I am so going to fail this exam too.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You were pretty quiet back there," Kelly nodded towards the Peach Pit as she and Donna walked out to her car. Andrea was driving Brenda back to the Walsh house; Brenda's mom was watching Hannah, so Andrea had to swing out that way anyway. Donna and Kelly were headed back to the beach apartment, to enjoy the rest of their first day after finals. Registration for the next semester began in just a few days, and Kelly was determined to rest before then.

"I just didn't want to talk about Ray," Donna shrugged, her voice quiet. "I'm having a hard enough time with us breaking up; I don't want everyone to know how it happened."

"Donna, if he hit you like that once, he'll do it again," Kelly said sternly, putting the keys in the ignition. "He isn't a good guy."

"They say that about cheaters too."

"What?"

"The thing about if he does it once he'll do it again," Donna was staring determinedly out the window. "They say it about cheaters too. But everyone's saying Brenda should forgive Dylan, even though he cheated on her more than once. Maybe even more than twice. And Brandon was with Emily while you were burning alive…"

"Thanks for the reminder, that wasn't the most memorable night of my life or anything," Kelly snapped angrily. "You can't possibly be thinking about forgiving Ray."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Donna he shoved you into a wall!" Kelly had been staring at Donna in shock and had to swerve quickly into the next lane to make their turn, narrowly avoiding an accident as she did so. "You have to understand how wrong that is!"

"It's not any worse than anything Brandon or David or Dylan or Steve has done," Donna snapped back, leaping out of the car and slamming the door as soon as they reached the apartment. "It's not like he meant to hurt me!"

"Well then I guess he shouldn't have grabbed your arms and pushed you into a wall!" Kelly yelled, knowing she was repeating herself, but not understanding how Donna could even consider forgiving Ray. "That is so much worse than ANYTHING any of our friends has EVER done!"

"He was hurting," Donna's voice lowered, and Kelly saw her looking around the beach to make sure no one would overhear. "I haven't had much time for him lately and…"

"Donna," Kelly stepped closer to her friend, the anger melting out of her voice. "Sweetie, you shouldn't have to explain yourself about this. Nothing you could possibly have done deserved that kind of treatment. And even if he hadn't hurt you like that, he had no right to be angry at you in the first place."

"Didn't he?" Donna slumped into Kelly's waiting arms, and her voice hitched with tears. "I've only been in three relationships, and all of them have ended with me getting cheated on or screamed at or… It's me, right? I'm a terrible girlfriend…"

"Oh Donna," Kelly stroked her friend's hair, remembering a time when she'd thought that she deserved to be treated the way the boys at West Beverly had treated her, boys like Ross Webber. "Donna, you didn't do anything wrong. Not with David and not with Ray. Definitely, definitely, one hundred percent not with Ray."

Donna just continued to sniffle in Kelly's arms, and Kelly held her friend, wishing she had been there for Donna last spring, when she had been so wrapped up in her new relationship with Brandon that she hadn't wanted to take sides between her best friend and her brother. She'd only wanted to avoid conflict, not to let Donna think she deserved this kind of treatment.

"No one deserves to be treated the way Ray treated you, Donna."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taking a deep breath, Brenda sank onto her bed, pulling out the box of letters from Dylan. He'd said that these would tell her how he really felt, and she was ready to find out. She was pretty sure that she was ready to find out. She thought.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~