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Just What I've Never Wanted

Chapter Eight

He had thought he was going to make it. At least until the end of term before he had to admit that he was lying to himself. He was tired and sleep wasn't helping, in the rare times he did manage to get to sleep. For some reason he felt edgy and that in itself stopped him from sleeping but he knew it wasn't the reason for his continuous lack of energy.

A mere two days until the end of term and he was as book had said he would be. Haggard and worn out. And it wasn't even a full month yet. But then again, when was the last time he had had sex? Or even pleasured himself?

Severus covered his face with a groan, clenching both of his hands in his hair. No, he had done that last night for the first time in months but it hadn't helped. In fact perhaps it had made it worse. After he had climaxed he had felt even more sluggish and a need…a need for more had sprung up.

He didn't want to prove Albus right. He didn't want to prove the books right. He didn't even want to admit he wasn't fully human.

'But I am. I am, not human. And if I don't…do this, this feeding I'm going to die.' Die. Did he want to die after miraculously surviving the Dark Lord? If perhaps death would be swift and without complication, yes. He didn't feel like he had anything to look forward to in life as an animal, pretty much. For that was how magical beings were really referred to in books, animals.

But he would slowly wither away. Day by day without sexual contact and his magic would deplete, he would become skeletal and one day just give up on living and die. He couldn't die like that. It was…it was…

"Unacceptable." He whispered to his rooms. He had pride damned it. But his pride was the same thing that had him balking at the idea of taking some stranger to his bed.

He could go to one of the brothels in Knockturn. No questions asked as long as you paid. 'But to be seen down in there…' Severus rubbed his face roughly.

Tonight. He could hold out until tonight. He'd go into muggle London if he had to. But he would bloody well find someone. And try to withhold himself from…full sexual contact.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

He had slunk up to the Headmaster's office like a reproached child and informed him he would be leaving the castle for the night. The Headmaster had only nodded and wished him luck and told him he could return the next day, no need to rush.

Severus laughed bitterly to himself. He probably wouldn't be able to find someone willing to sleep with him, the way he looked now. He had magicked his robes into a muggle trench coat and was wearing a simple polo shirt and slacks beneath it as he prowled the dregs of muggle London. All he needed to do was find a damned prostitute…

"Hey Mister. Err," The man's voice paused as Severus turned to look at him blankly. "ahhm, do you, do you have some change? I sort of…need…need…"

Passible. Short, brown-haired inconspicuous muggle of a man. "If you're working down here you should know what you have to do to get it." Severus emphasized, sneering. 'Would simply implying strongly work?'

The man swayed forward, stumbled and righted himself before walking up to him, glassy eyed. "We can…go to my apartment."

'Keep eye contact as much as possible and speak pervasively.' "That would be…fine." Severus stared down at the man. 'This had better work!'

It had been going well at first, Severus decided. He and the man had exited to his apartment and with an implication on his part, they had both ended up naked in the man's bed, engaged in foreplay. At least he had figured out a part of using his power, his manipulation of his voice. Severus had planned on using that to only get a blow job and leaving. It had only been three weeks after all. Surely he didn't need more than that!

So, he had made himself vulnerable to the man and asked for oral sex.

And it wasn't like the muggle could resist him. He had got what he had asked for. It was only…at the first touch of the man to his sex he had suddenly felt…ravenous. As if there were a pit where his stomach used to be with a beast in it and it needed to be fed. So he had opened his senses, mental and magical and somehow unconsciously, ordered more. That was how he now found himself groaning with gratification into a stuffy pillow as he was plowed into from some nameless muggle man!

And Merlin did it feel good. When the man came and collapsed against his back he was still hard and though he felt he could physically climax if urged, he would still be unsatisfied he knew instinctively.

"If you're quite done could you get off." Severus muttered rolling his head. The muggle, still unnamed groaned as he shifted off him.

"Geez, did you take Viagra or something? I can't…can't go again."

Useless incompetent…! "Fine." Severus made his displeasure known in a glare before climbing out of bed going for his garments. He removed his wand his back to the bed while the muggle was cowering, in shame actually of not being able to satisfy him, and turned on him. "Obliviate. Dormus." The man fell back into the bed, sound asleep.

Severus redressed himself quickly, with only one plan in mind. Get to a brothel in Knockturn.

With the coat changed back into its original form, Severus simply walked into Diagon Alley and turned down into the alley he desired. Entering the brothel building alone and stretching out his magic, somehow he knew inherently what to do, he fed on just the sexual energy flooding through the place. Finding someone was even simpler.

The first man he clapped eyes on he pointed at and said lowly. "Sex. Now."

There was no need for more.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

Severus unfolded himself from his uncomfortable position and moaned softly as he stretched his much abused body and yawned softly. 'Mm, first night's good rest in ages. Feel like I got hit by a threstral though. And Circe my back hurts…' He froze as he stood taking in his surroundings again. 'What the…where…'

Brothel. Knockturn. He turned hurriedly to look at the pungent bed. "Shit." It slipped out before he fully understood what he was seeing. Three men were still in the bed entangled in a pile of arms and legs and as he watched he saw one of them stretch languidly before yawning uncouthly.

"Merlin you're a devil…get back in bed and we can…" The man's eyes seemed to finally register Severus. "Bloody hell! What the…!"

"Obliviate! Dormus!" According to the man's reaction his post-coital good looks had returned. He didn't usually try wandless magic on the higher level spells but apparently due to his recent feeding his magical power was boosted and the spell actually worked as he wished, over all three men at once. "Damn it all."

He dressed hurriedly unconscious of his ruffled elegance and swiftly left after placing some coins on the dresser. The three whores would wake knowing they had worked but not with whom, and as long as he paid they wouldn't try to find out. Meanwhile he had to get back into Hogwarts as soon as possible before the castle came alive because he certainly couldn't sneak back into the dungeons looking like he'd been out gallivanting all night.

Severus exited the brothel and as soon as he darkened their doorway he Apparated for Hogsmeade and the gates of Hogwarts school. 'If Merlin is merciful no one will see me returning.' He hurried along dragging his fingers through his hair. 'Did he look that much like a ruffian? Damned that place for not having a mirror. No time to waste conjuring one. What time…?' A quick 'tempus' informed him it was nine forty-seven and no student should be wandering the corridor at that time.

His memories of after the muggle man were all a pleasurable rush. He wasn't quite sure he had been in possession of himself while making the trip to Knockturn really. All he had known was that he needed more than that man could give. But he was satisfied now. Three mediocre excuses for wizards and one muggle later. That need, that he had felt earlier, was a pleasant ball of warm satisfaction in his stomach. For his salacious behaviour last night he really shouldn't feel so…good, but dammit he did!

'Is this what I will always feel like after feeding? This…repulsive to my intellect but yet ultimately satisfying to my nature…contentment?' He didn't like the losing control part. The not knowing what he was doing to get what he wanted to fill the need. But he couldn't fault the results…he felt invigorated, both physically and magically, he realized as he pushed open the foyer doors slowly.

'I can't live like this.' Severus decided. 'Not having to do this every month! Surely, there must be some way to overcome this problem of his without having to resort to unnamed and unknown men every month.' Dating? No, he couldn't imagine actually having to become involved with someone for the sake of sex. Perhaps…an inhibitor? Basically a variant of what he was making for Potter at present. But his sexual needs weren't of a tactile kind brought upon him. It was a part of his genetics. He would have to fundamentally break down his biological makeup to find a way to change his nature.

Perhaps there wasn't an escape in his beloved potions this time but somehow…

Turning the corner down a corridor hurriedly from the Great Hall he only had to turn again to go down the stairs to the dungeons when he ran into someone violently and took a stumbling step back.

"I apolo…" It had slipped out before he caught himself and tried to look intimidating.

"Sorry professor!" A voice he had grown familiar with in the past year spoke frantically. "I was just rushing to Professor McGona…" The boy who had crashed into him, who was barely a head shorter now, looked up in apology that quickly turned to shock. The tanned cheeks started to turn pink as his look turned into a stare of awe.

"Potter." He growled out, scowling darkly. Who else would be around when he shouldn't be. To catch Severus Snape as he was. The Potions Master's dark look morphed into a sneer as the boy continued to gawk. "What!? Shut your mouth, you look like a landed trout! And don't you have somewhere to be? I'm sure it's during class time. Five points from Gryffindor Potter."

"But I was…! My timetable isn't…What are you doing out of your rooms then!?" The green eyes had quickly turned belligerent as the young man glared back up at him and turned the tables. "I thought you were sick!"

"I said don't you have somewhere to go Potter!" Severus said, putting as much authority into his voice as he could muster and practically forcing his magic into his voice to get Potter to flee. "And ten more points from Gryffindor!"

The conqueror of Voldemort spluttered indignantly before turning on his heel and marching off back in the direction he had come from. Severus glared after him for a moment before realizing he was suffering from a pleasing buzz of arousal again for no apparent reason.

"Dammit!" Severus spat out to the empty corridor. He couldn't be 'hungry' again already! He strode down the stairs into the dungeons, unconscious of the trailing scent of grass, chocolate and boy-musk he abandoned behind.

A/N: #comes out from under rock# #hacks authorial voice, long gone from disuse# Update. #tosses it out#

Review. #points down#