Disclaimer: I no ownie, you no chop-suey.

Just What I've Never Wanted

Chapter Ten

This morning was the morning the train was leaving. He would be happy to see the brats go. Some more than others. He would usually make an appearance to sneer at the seventh years as they left but…

'But he would probably end up accidentally causing a ruckus, either over his looks or by a mob assaulting him. He could feel raw Enthrall, his own Incubus power, swirling about him as distant arousal played with his senses. He had known last night that he wasn't hungry again and yet had felt arousal…and now this, again! Was his body betraying him for breaking his celibacy?

'No, no this just isn't natural! And none of the books I have mentioned anything about this.' Severus paced his rooms growling. He was actually wearing only pajama bottoms as he paced because it was still only seven and the children wouldn't leave until ten, not that he could even go up to see the brats off, but also because, and this made sense in his head, if he wore only the shirt the tails rubbed against his member and he felt like a common slut and if he wore the bottoms well then at least he felt sort of dressed even if he was being rubbed into further ecstasy by the silk.

'Mad. I'm going barking mad.' Severus kicked his bookshelf in anger. 'This thing that I am is going to drive me to a mental breakdown. I don't want to think of myself as salacious, yet last night didn't I prove that I was? What I am…it's dirty…it's low…I'm an erotic creature for crying out loud! I like having loud, messy sex as many times a night as I can…' He sank into his chair with a moan, clutching his head. "I'm a disgrace." 'For all my lauded self-control…I'm nothing but a…a…' "An animal."

A book tumbled off his bookshelf, startling him from his morose self-pity. Severus roused himself weakly and strode to the shelf to pick it up. 'E Nil Y.Limaf Snape E-ht' had fallen off the shelf. As far as he could remember it was one of his father's old poetry books but he had never read it.

'Dark poetry for a dark mood? Why not.' Severus turned to his armchair book in hand and sat to open it.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

He had made it to a full month since his Knockturn Alley feeding. He hadn't wanted to resort to this again. To this…

'If self-disgust was a river I'd be drowning in it.' Severus thought numbly. He understood now, a part of his problem in the fuck-fest he would have to participate in when time ran out, was that by being celibate the whole other time in between he made his hunger worse when crunch time came. But he couldn't bring himself to kissing, touching, many random people…more than the three or four he might have to fuck. 'I almost wish…almost wish I could just find whoever is supposed to be my bloody mate so this will stop…' He moaned lowly, shifting. 'Well, it wouldn't end exactly. Only he'd just be doing this with his mate instead of with random people.' He had decided that had to be better than what he had to do.

'This situation my useless, no good father has left for me.' His breath hitched in his throat. The book he had kicked off his shelf. It wasn't a poetry book, anymore. He had glanced in it once before, at fifteen and found dark poetry. But when he had looked on the last day of the term at Hogwarts, poetry hadn't been in the book. It was a journal. To be more specific, Tobias Snape's journal. In which he confessed to not being to pureblood he had told Eileen Prince he was. That in fact he was a member of a species that was considered one of the lowest magical beings in the wizarding world. But because he was rich, Eileen's father would overlook that and give his daughter to him.

'To make matters worse though, as if buying my mother wasn't enough, he didn't even love her! She wasn't his mate! His mate was some man he had fucked in the next room while his mother slept next door or with him in the nursery as a baby. He had only wanted her for a child. A 'pureblood' child that would give him access to polite society.' Severus squeezed his eyes shut, soundless. 'Because neither he nor his mate were magically powerful enough Incubi to even manifest their powers much less be able to bear young. Or he would have just seduced Eileen and besmirched her for anyone else.'

The Potions Master grunted, shifted his knuckles to his mouth and bit down harshly. 'No! No…my father had been a pathetic excuse for a man. A sorry excuse for a wizard. And nothing could be less a dreg of Incubi society than he…but I am not him! I may sleep with a few random men a month but I don't use them, they know. And it's only because I haven't found my mate. When I find them I will stop this. From the extra information from my father's journal…I should know when I meet them. I will know who he or…' He grimaced. 'She is.'

"Ugh! Merlin, you're a god!" Severus whimpered around his fist as the man behind him shifted, brushing his prostate. He clenched his muscles around him and pushed back wantonly. "Merlin, I'm gonna come!"

'I'll finish sorting what is left of my miserable life…after, oh Circe…after I finish feeding.' He wailed loudly as his bedmate stroked him to completion.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

The end of July had come and gone with no ruckus so Severus had assumed his potions for Potter had done their job and slowed the process of his majority breaking. Strangely enough on July thirty-first he had felt nervous. He snorted to think he was actually worried about Potter. Now however, was the end of August, with the first day of the term being tomorrow when the students would come.

The only problem, he felt, was that he had not yet found his mate. He would resume teaching again and he wouldn't be able to go out some random night every month to have sex. Didn't the nature of an Incubus usually choose someone who was already involved with them to be their mate? Well, the only places he went were Hogwarts, Diagon Alley and his family manor. He hadn't been to that place in years so he had no connections with anyone there, he had visited the Apothecary two days ago and hadn't felt attracted or drawn by the sales people…so then it should be someone at Hogwarts. But…

'But it's been all summer and I've felt nothing. For anyone.' Severus paced his room nursing a glass of firewhiskey. 'Does that mean it's a student then? Oh Circe if it's a student…at least let them bloody well be someone mature enough that I won't want to strangle them. And seventeen!'

The journal had said that his mate would be someone he felt involved with or attracted to. He certainly would remember being involved and there wasn't anyone he fancied. The attraction could manifest itself through touch, smell, sight, sound…but he would definitely know. Severus sneered, the journal said his mate would 'soothe' him, arouse him and make him feel complete. It appeared his father was one of those waxing poetics in his post-coital moments as well.

At least the time during the summer with the information from the journal had assisted him in controlling his power. The other professors in the castle could now look him in the eye, with caution however as strong emotions made him lose control and that was when his power could unleash accidentally. And he had turned his voice into a beautifully mastered weapon. In order to avoid ensnaring unintentionally he spoke in a low monotone, but the slightest inflection of pleasure or displeasure would affect the listener. He smirked proudly at that. He had a feeling his power as an Incubus lay more there than in his looks. Not that he didn't have sex appeal. If the ease with which he could get a whore at the brothel was any indication he was very much desirable to look at when he hadn't waited too long to feed.

'Perhaps…if I plan to keep myself reasonably strong and not looking too tired during the term…every weekend I should go to the brothel. Once a week. I won't get too fatigued and I won't be so…voracious. I might not even have to full feed.' Seeverus was seriously considering it even though he had actually developed a group of men to sleep with regularly now. He didn't know however if he was of the Higher class sex demon or not. It would be just his luck if he were. An excerpt from a book had mentioned them saying 'one of the old bloodline or noble class absolutely cannot survive healthily on the 'snacking' form of feeding without causing harm to themselves. Full copulation must occur at least once a month and even in between there must be some form of sexual contact for brief feedings.' If he were one of those, he'd still have to have sex once a month.

He was sort of hoping now it would be a student. A proper one! 'I don't know how long I can continue the way I have been.' He felt dirtier every time he did it but even trying to stretch the fact he was on a 'major feed' diet, every time he fasted for a month he came back the next time hungrier. Most Incubus would be on a 'light feed' diet, taking a little bit from here and there in mild sexual contact. A major feed was having sex once a month to barely survive. It had the side effect of making the Incubus more insatiable every time they fed again, in the body's attempt to store for what it saw as the next fasting.

Which was what he did. But if he was fortunate to hopefully have a mature student for a mate…not for long.

A/N: Eh. Now to get down to business...I know my great works of art #poses off# tear you between which to review. Why not review them all? Yeah! Yeah! i know this a revolutionary idea! But it'd make me very happy :P