Hey everyone!

Sorry for the big delay between chapters; a combination of way to much homework and schoolwork, not being happy with chapters and my computer contracting an annoying virus that is constantly restarting it and stopping me from uploading files (though I have found a way to now).

Also I'm probably still not 100% happy with it just because.

Anyway please enjoy it. Also if there is a number at the end of a sentence it contains a reference that will be explained later.

Please enjoy!

Between the last chapter and this one, the group's karaoke session had descended into chaos culminating in a brawl between Ed and Roy about which song should be next (Roy fighting for "Let It Rock" [because when Roy arrives he brings the fire] and Ed fighting for "Coz I'm A Blonde"). The rest of the office quickly followed suit and began fighting too until someone shouted over the rest…

"I'm gonna jump," Fuery threatened as he stood at the window ledge.

"Don't do it, Fuery!" Roy shouted as they all abruptly stopped fighting, "Think of all the paperwork I'll have to do!"

"Yeah, don't do it!" Ed piped in, "Hang yourself instead, because then the little food we have will last longer and then we can cook and eat you."

"Brother, that's mean," Al whimpered at Ed.

"Al, this doesn't affect you because you don't eat, but you must know. I am hungry. Very hungry. So hungry that I've ate all food and anything that could be remotely considered food that was in this office," Ed stated.

"What did you say?" Breda asked Ed, with a serious glare.

"Nothing," Ed denied.

"You little…" Roy growled.

"What are we going to eat?" Havoc interrupted.

"I'm gonna do it," Fuery pitched in again still standing perilously at the window's edge..

"Wait, Fuery! Roy and Ed were right. If we eat you there will be no paperwork and also we can live longer," Riza explained, "So please don't jump."

Fuery whimpered back in response.

"We've only been locked in ten minutes, I'm sure someone can get us out. They're bound to notice we haven't left the room and that Sgt Fuery is threatening to jump from a window," Falman said calmly.

"Falman, no one asked you," Roy replied bluntly.

"Wait, Ed ate all the food, this stems from him. I say we eat him first," Breda smirked.

"I see your point," Roy nodded in agreement, then announced with one arm pointing in the air, "We eat Ed first!"

"But wait, it doesn't all stem from me. Havoc ate the key and he's much bigger than me," Ed said, backing away from Roy and Breda who both looked worrying hungry and seemed to be approaching him, "He'll last us much longer."

They all turned to Havoc.

"Actually," Havoc said defensively, "It was the Colonel who told me to lock the door and get rid of the key. He gave misleading instructions. We should eat Roy instead. He's the real cause."

Everyone, except Fuery and Al who stood frozen in fear of the situation arising, spun and looked at Roy with hungry eyes.

"I suppose it does," Breda said.

"Whoo! Let's eat the Colonel!" Ed shouted rather overenthusiastically.

"Fair enough," the other's muttered in agreement.

"You can't eat me. I'm your leader. Bow before me and my plan for miniskirts and an army of loyal, obedient, paperwork-signing dogs!" Roy exclaimed stumbling away from the others.

"I'm serious, I'll jump," Fuery threatened again.

"Shut up, Fuery. Or I will come over there and push you!" Roy threatened in response, which led to Fuery quickly evacuating the window ledge.

"What if I tell you all a story and you don't eat me, if it's a good one?" Roy bargained as he backed yet further into a corner.

Their hungry eyes disappeared and they agreed unanimously.

Roy sat back at his desk, "The next story will be RapunzEd."

"You son-of-a…"

Smack.

"Don't insult your Colonel or his wonderful love stories," Riza glared threateningly having delivered the smack to the back of Ed's head.

"I fear yaoi fangirl mode may be resurfacing," Breda grunted.

"Nevermind, anyway, the next story is RapunzEd," Roy began, "And it all began long ago…"

Starring:

Ed as Rapunzel

Roy as the Prince

Winry as the Witch

Havoc as Havoc the Horse

"Once upon a time their was a young maiden named RapunzEd. She lived in a tower, that had no doors of stairs but only a single window, in the middle of a clearing in a middle of a forest. She had lived there much of her life and was kept there by a witch.

RapunzEd was a beautiful girl with big, glistening gold eyes and had long blonde hair which she wore in a long braid. Her hair was so long that it was longer than she was tall, which wasn't hard because she's really small, so to put in in perspective it could easily reach from the room of RapunzEd's one hundred foot high tower to the ground.

Everyday the witch visited RapunzEd with food and other stuff. Actually she visited several times a day because RapunzEd eats a lot.

The witch would always approach the tower and shout, "RapunzEd, RapunzEd, let down your hair!"

This was the signal for RapunzEd to drop her long braid from the window and let the witch climb it up to the room.

"Geez, you eat a lot," Winry the Witch complained as she dumped yet another basket of food onto the floor for RapunzEd.

"Yeah, well... Screw you," RapunzEd mumbled before proceeding to eat every last thing in the basket.

Well except one thing.

RapunzEd scowled at the remaining item in the basket.

"Drink it," Winry the Witch threatened.

"No way, that stuff tastes like vomit," RapunzEd was switching from glowering at the item and scowling the Witch.

The last thing it the basket was a bottle of milk.

"Drink your milk," Winry the Witch growled.

"I'm not drinking it," RapunzEd growled back.

"It'll make you tall, Shrimp," Winry the Witch smirked.

"For once height doesn't matter and I will not attack you for making a height comment…"

"Guys, I have to interrupt this myself," Roy said while telling the story.

"Why?" Havoc asked.

"Because that was too out of character. Usually Ed would've beaten someone to a pulp for making a comment like that, but when it comes to milk I have decided that he'd put his hatred of height comments behind his hatred of milk," Roy explained calmly and seriously.

"You could just ask me what I think," Ed mumbled in response.

"Hey Ed," Roy smirked.

"What?"

"Think fast," Roy threw a cup of milk over Ed and then started laughing, Breda and Havoc also began to laugh hysterically at him.

"It's everywhere.." Ed twitched and shook, "Everywhere."

"Ha! I've always wanted to do that!" Roy laughed.

"Brother, are you okay?" Al asked concerned as Ed dropped to the ground.

"Al," Ed began, "Everywhere. The demon drink is all over me."

"It's just milk," Al stated.

"No. It's evil. It's plotting my demise and now it's free from it's invisible prison," Ed pointed at the glass, "It's everywhere."

"Sir, that was uncalled for," Riza scolded Roy, "Even if it was moderately funny."

"You love me really," Roy smirked with a stupid pose.

"No. I don't," Riza stated.

"Twenty bucks, Falman," Breda muttered in the background.

"Then who do you love or like?" Roy asked pressingly.

Riza walked to the window and pointed at a random person in a group of passing soldiers.

"Him."

"Well, what's his name?" Roy asked.

"Soldier A." (1)

"Soldier A? That's not a real name," Roy mocked.

"Yes it is. And over there is Fanboy 1 and that's Sex Offender 3," Riza said pointing out two other people. (2)

"Ed, I'm worried again," Al whimpered.

Ed was now rolling around the floor whispering at no one in particular, "It's everywhere. The milk. It's evil. Can't you see its evil aura and deadly beams?"

"Since I seem to have scarred Ed again, should we continue the story?" Roy laughed before being serious. Well as serious as he could be considering Ed was still rolling around the floor - drenched in milk.

"Yeah, go on."

"So anyway back to the story…

After the witch left RapunzEd was left all alone so played Pokemon Platinum for a while, before playing Zelda: Spirit Tracks. After playing these for a while he grew bored and started singing. (3)

Badly.

The noise was so terrible that a passing prince stopped.

That prince was Prince Mustang (he gets around). And seeing as we all know what Prince Mustang is like we'll not go into too much detail, but in case anyone forgot the basics are that he is handsome, charming and sexy. OK?

So anyway he was on horseback on his white steed named Havoc.

He stopped the horse and jumped off.

"Will you shut up!?" he shouted to the tower, but got no reply.

"Shut up!!" he repeated as the horrible screech-singing continued.

"That's it I'm coming up there!"

He looked around for a door or stairs, but there was nothing. He decided to camp out outside the tower, far enough away so that he would not be noticed, but could observe the tower to see what happened. (4)

After staying a few days he realised the way the witch got in and that RapunzEd sang a lot and sounded like someone strangling a cat. So he decided to put a stop to it.

One evening after the witch left for the fifth time that day, Prince Mustang walked up to the tower and shouted, "RapunzEd, RapunzEd, let down your hair!"

With that RapunzEd dropped her long braid from the window and Prince Mustang climbed up it into the tower.

Just as he went to shout at her to stop singing Prince Mustang saw how beautiful, sorta, RapunzEd was and RapunzEd say how wonderul the prince was it was love at first sight. Say 'Aw~' everyone.

But to continue, every evening after the witch left for the final time Prince Mustang would visit and the two plotted to run away together.

The day before they were going to leave Winry the Witch came back again and overheard their plans. She was furious so after the Prince had left she went back to the tower and cut off RapunzEd's long golden braid.

The next day Prince Mustang visited early so they could run away, but he was unaware the witch was in the tower.

So he casually walked to the tower as usual and called, "RapunzEd! RapunzEd! Let down your hair!"

Winry the Witch lowered RapunzEd's chopped off braid and Prince Mustang climbed it. However just as he was about to reach the top Winry the Witch leaned from the window and smirked cruelly at Prince Mustang before dropping the braid. Prince Mustang dropped to the ground, but luckily he landed unharmed."

"Sir, I'm pretty sure that's not how the story went," Havoc complained.

"Then since you're such an expert on fairytales, you tell me how it went, Havoc," Roy muttered at him angrily.

"Well, he falls into a bush of thorns that blind him," Havoc stated.

"So you want me to go blind?" (5)

"No, I never said that, it's just how the story goes, Sir," Havoc answered.

"Whatever," Roy dismissed Havoc's previous answer, "Plus you know there's my whole fear of…" Roy coughed before muttering, "Plants." (6)

"What was that?" Ed suddenly perked up , despite having still been lying on the ground covered in milk during the previous part of the story.

"Nothing," Roy lied.

"Did you see fear of plants?" Ed grinned inanely.

"No."

"You liar. You did," Ed began laughing hysterically.

"I have an excuse," Roy began, "When I was a little kid I fell into a patch of daisies except it turned out that there were nettles below them and ever since I have been afraid of plants."

Roy's reason simply made Ed laugh more.

"Done yet?" Roy asked Ed as he began to calm down, but as soon as Ed looked at Roy he started to laugh again.

This continued for about ten minutes before Ed finally calmed enough to allow Roy to talk.

"Then I'll continue the story."

Ed laughed uncontrollably again, "I'm sorry."

"You're a terrible person."

"I'm sorry," Ed continued to laugh.

"Anyway, I'll do the story Havoc's way," Roy mumbled with a pout.

"Sir, you don't have to. I was just saying that's what happened," Havoc said apologetically.

But he was ignored and Roy's response was once again, "Whatever."

Ed began to roar with laughter yet again.

Roy continued the story on anyway.

"So Prince Mustang actually fell into a thorn bush and was blinded - are you happy now, Havoc?

Prince Mustang then went on to wonder aimlessly through the forest guided only by his so-called trusty steed Havoc the Horse. Only it turned out the Havoc horse was actually very nasty and uncaring and mean and didn't care about Prince Mustang or his feelings.

After wondering for many days alone, after the Havoc horse suffered a not-so-tragic, but none-the-less horrific death, Prince Mustang heard a familiar sound. It was the horrible strangled cat singing he could remember from when he first met RapunzEd.

It turned out RapunzEd had been banished from the tower by Winry the Witch and was, like Prince Mustang, lost in the forest wondering around.

Prince Mustang ran towards the terrible noise and RapunzEd saw him stumbling around and it was all very sad and happy at the same time - so say "Aw~" again everyone.

And then something magical happened (we'll get Sherlock Holmes to explain it later) RapunzEd's tears brought back Prince Mustang's vision and he was fine again. (7)

And so everyone lived happily ever after. Even Winry the Witch who, without RapunzEd eating so much, bought into a company just before it went big and she became a millionaire. Well actually except the Havoc horse who's corpse was left somewhere in the forest to be picked clean by the birds.

The End

"I can't say I loved it," Breda sighed.

"Why are you all always so critical?!" Roy shouted in response to Breda.

"Well I thought it was a wonderful story," a familiar voice came from the corner of the room.

They all turned to see Hughes standing in the corner.

"Hu.. Hughes?" Roy asked, "When did you get here? How did you get here?"

"I got a ladder and climbed through the window because I wanted to see what you guys were doing," Hughes stated it like it was a completely normal thing to do.

"Anyone else freaked out here?" Ed asked.

They all ignored him and instead Riza exclaimed, "Then we can escape! We can use the ladder and get down!"

She ran to the open window and looked for the ladder. Gone.

"Where is it?" she turned to Hughes desperately.

"Well," Hughes began to stutter slightly, "Well, it may or may not - and this is just a theory here- may or may not have fell over when I got in and now it's kinda or kinda not leading up to the window because it fell over. Maybe."

The others all glared at Hughes angrily.

"It was an accident," Hughes whimpered, backing into the corner.

"You know Colonel," Ed grinned cruelly, "With Hughes here food will run out a lot faster."

"You know what, Edward? You're right," Roy also grinned cruelly, "I vote we eat Hughes first."

"Wait, wha?!?!" Hughes shrieked.

To be continued... (dun dun du~n!)

Notes:

(1) Soldier A - I frickin' love that song. It's sang by Vic Mignogna (Ed's VA) and is awesomeness!

(2) Part of Soldier A.

(3) So apparently DS', Pokemon and Zelda exist in Fairytale land and in Amestris (I was very, very hyper when I wrote some of it).

(4) STALKER!?!?

(5) I could hardly bring myself to write the proper version of the fairytale because of what happens to Roy in the manga (I'll say no more, but anyone who has read chapter 102 will know or anyone who has found out any way) and I was so sad about it (first time I found out I was depressed for days along with my friend. :( *sniffle*

(6) Ok so fear of plants... This is based on my friend, Kim, who told me in maths about her fear of plants ( if you're reading this, thanks for letting me use it, Kim!) and I couldn't stop laughing for almost twenty minutes - which was the rest of the maths class. A lot of the dialogue between Ed and Roy is based on our actual conversation (Roy is Kim and I am Ed) starting from Roy telling Ed why he's afraid and that is her reason for being afraid. And I know I'm a terrible person, but I just couldn't stop laughing. I did virtually no work since finding that out because the rest of that class was spent laughing everytime I even looked at her or she spoke (I'm so sorry! It was too funny, Kim!). Also a fear of plants could explain why Roy uses fire - fire beats plants (well in Pokemon XD).

(7) Sherlock Holmes reference because I frickin' love Sherlock Holmes (my favourite movie ever! - that sentence doesn't really make sense, but meh, you know what I mean).

So anyway please leave a review and if you think I could improve it or change it or if I've got something wrong please tell me!! It's the only way to make them better!!

Thanks to everyone who reviews and everyone who reads it, I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them (especially whilst high on candy floss and chocolate!).

So thanks everyone who's reviewed this so far and I hope the stories continue to amuse you!

Bye~!
Amy.