Chapter Two:
Sorrow
A/N: I hope you liked my first chapter, I know - morbid and depressing! Now this is Draco's summer, and don't worry the two will return to Hogwarts for Chapter Three! Please review, I'll love you forever and update sooner!!
Sorrow - Bad Religion
Father can you hear me?
How have I let you down?
I curse the day that I was born
and all the sorrow in this world
Let me take you to the herding ground
where all good men are trampled down
Just to settle a bet that could not be won
between a prideful father and his son
*
Draco sighed. Four days. Four more days until he could finally be back at school.
He was restlessly moping around the Manor; although it was a large estate, being on it alone with only House Elves for company was unnerving. Draco had taken to getting a Muggle taxi into the nearby town, going to the library and indulging in Muggle culture. It was something he was never allowed to do, even if it was just something as simple as reading.
As himself, he never had any problem with Muggles as long as they didn't intrude upon their territory. So as of late, he found himself reading and listening to music most of the time that he had never heard before. The House Elves found this odd behaviour, but none dared to comment upon it as he was now the Head of the Malfoy estate - at only sixteen.
Draco was currently sitting on the summouned armchair in his bedroom. The drapes were closed, though he stared at the window. He was on the last few pages of Immanuel Kant's "The Critique of Practical Reason", he found political Muggle texts very enlightning and in the back of his mind wished that the Minister for Magic indulged in the readings as well.
A House Elf, scrawny little Dawny, popped suddenly into existance beside Draco slightly startling the blonde. "I thought I told you to apparate outside the door and knock!" he snapped with irritation, and then lightly closed his book and rubbed his brow and smiled apologetically at the terrified House Elf. "Sorry Dawny, I was just a little caught off guard,"
"Of course, Master Malfoy, Dawny is very sorry! Dawny make sure he never makes that mistake again! He shall punish himself for-"
Draco put up his hand to bring a stop to the words, "No, do not. Have you not yet to learn that I am unlike my Father?" he drawled tiredly.
"Of course! Master Malfoy very much unlike old Master! This Master much more kinder, he doesn't hurt Dawny or the other Elves! We be very grateful!" Dawny had beady eyes and as he lowered his head in admiration he held out his arm, holding a full glass of water. "Master wanted water before bed, Dawny brought Master water!"
"Thank you very much. Now I suggest you get off to bed," Draco smiled wearily and took the glass of water from the Elves hand before standing up and making his way to his bed. He set the glass down on the bedside table and lay down on the emerald silk sheets.
"But we are not finished cleaning the dishes from din-"
"Leave them for tomorrow morning. Just get some rest, tell the rest to as well," Draco mumbled, his eyes were shut and he was already going underneath the blankets and laying his head on the pillow. With a swish of his hand, the curtains around the four-poster bed were drawn and the House Elf disappeared with a nod and a small pop.
*
Will you guide me now for I can't see a reason
for the suffering and this long misery
What if every living soul could be upright and strong?
Well then I do imagine
There will be (sorrow)
Yeah there will be (sorrow)
*
It was cold, he lay on hard stone floor. He recognized this floor too well now, his silver eyes squinted in the darkness. All he could see was movement in the cell, but he couldn't make out what it was. No need to - he knew. It was who it always was, his Father lurking around him teaching him a lesson.
This time he had spent three days in the cell, he was still feed and had to do homework but got no play-time. Instead of play-time, Draco got his 'lesson taught to him' as Lucius would repeat over and over again. Sometimes when he was down there it was hard to remember what he had done wrong in the first place, but this time Lucius wasn't going to let him forget.
"Malfoys must never cry! Stop whimpering, you little shi-!" he cut himself off as his leg thrust forward, his foot colliding with Draco's stomach. The nine year-old boy held in his whimper this time, but he allowed his hands to clutch the damaged spot. Pain was shooting through him but it was nothing compared to the pain when his Father would take out his wand. Then he could really hurt him.
"What have you learned?" spat the older man, Draco pushed himself up on his elbows, gasping for air that wasn't bathed in the stone.
"That-that Malfoy's must never cry," he stuttered, which was never a good thing to do in front of Master Malfoy but sometimes he just couldn't help it when he was scared. Where was Mommy?
"What else?" Lucius urged.
"That I've been a baa--ah!" Draco screamed and then bit down on his lip, causing blood to rush forward. He had recieved another swift kick to the abdomen, this one was harder than the last.
"Speak properly, Draco! No son of mine will be illiterate!" Lucius cursed, all he ever cared about was how the family looked. How his heir acted and looked, how he was supposed to be feared above all save the Dark Lord himself.
"My apologies, Father," Draco corrected himself feebly, "That I have been a bad boy,"
"Yes, and what is it you have done wrong?"
Draco had to think for a moment, he didn't want to get it wrong but then again he didn't want to spend too much time thinking and try the patience of the Head of family. "I asked to watch that tele-tele-teletuby that shows moving pictures. This is wrong because it is only for Muggle children," he explained, although he himself didn't exactly see the truth in this - not yet at least.
"And what, Draconis, is wrong with Muggle children?" Lucius drawled, he had a satisfied smirk on his face as he began to walk to the opposite side of the cell in the Malfoy dungeons. He needed to retrieve his most prized teaching tool to finish off the lesson.
"Muggles are beneath us. Muggles are not worthy of air, sir," Draco said this with confidence now, although still not believing his own words. This was the one thing his Father had drilled into his head since he could remember - which wasn't that long ago. He held his breath as he heard the familiar crack of a whip, he still couldn't see it. His eyes were so poor and undeveloped in the darkness, but it seemed his Father could see every detail of the cell perfectly.
"Stand up against the wall," ordered Lucius, Draco obeyed slowly as his body ached.
"But Father, I learned my lesson! I promise not to-"
"Do not whine, complain, or beg because..."
"Malfoys do not do that," Draco finished for him, trying to prove that he had learned his lesson. Little did he know that this would only aggrevate the man further.
"Are you getting smart with me? Never interupt me again! Hold your tongue and show your respect!" Lucius snapped, and after his words fell so did the whip upon the small boys back. Once twice, three times as Draco tried his hardest not to whimper and pushed his naked torso up against the cold stone wall, his hands clinging to it for mercy. Or escape.
"This one is to make sure it stays," Lucius growled, and the last crack of the whip Draco could not hold the whimper in. He had never felt it so harshly before; he sensed the blood trailing down his back and onto the tips of his trousers, he felt his back quiver in protest as his nerves sputtered themselves. Lucius' steps were heard echoing in the darkness now, and Draco finally allowed himself to silently cry in pain and loneliness.
"Mommy...Mommy..."
"Master Malfoy, sir!" Dawny, who was the Head Elf and the only one Draco enjoyed coming into contact with, shook his blonde master awake.
"What is it?" Draco snapped as he shot up from his bed, his hair amess as sweat beaded down from his forehead. His body ached, especially his back in retrospective.
"Dawny wishes to make positive that Master knows that the Ministry arrives in an hour. Dawny did not want Master to be late," said the House Elf shakily, still not 100% trustworthy that the new Master was complete unlike the old one - they looked too similar.
"Thank you Dawny, you may go. Could you prepare me a quick breakfast, just leave it on my nightstand," Draco said wearily. As the Elf nodded and the snapped out of existance, Draco sighed and pulled himself from bed.
"Damn the Ministry and damn Fudge," Draco swore aloud as he picked his clothes out of his large walk-in closet and made his way into the expansive bathroom.
He turned on the water to the large bath and stepped in front of the mirror, there he stripped his clothes and turned around with his head peering over his shoulder. Naked, he looked up and down his scrawny, pale, perfect body. Seemingly perfect, that was. Beneath the glamour that was constantly on was a large, purple scar drawn from his left shoulder to his right kidney; the mark left that day in his nightmare, when his Father wanted him to thoroughly remember his listen.
Draco shuttered. 'Dirty, filthy excuse for a human being. You are a cowardly Wizard, you hide behind your Father's title all those years and look where and what that got you - a scar, these nonstop nightmares and constant surveilance from a bunch of imbociles.'
Sighing, the blonde tore his eyes away from his own deformity and grabbed a towel to wrap loosely around himself. He walked out into his bedroom where his breakfast lay waiting and brought the tray of fruit and porridge into the bathroom. Draco slunk into the hot, steamy water and let it soothe his muscles and mind all at once as he ate gingerly. He never liked to do things quickly, but he knew today was an important day and he needed to do his best.
When Draco finished breakfast he had soaked enough and so washed his hair before getting out and drying himself. He put on his new clothes and threw his old ones in the hamper before brushing his hair so it fell perfectly around his bony cheeks. He couldn't deny it, he did thank his Father gratefully for his looks which he prized so much.
"Next time, remember to take a Dreamless Sleep Drought," he drawled to his reflection before raising an eyebrow at himself and walking away.
Over the summer, Draco had become extremely sufficient in brewing up that particular Potion, considering he needed it constantly and almost every night. On the nights he forgot to take it, the nightmares would ensue horribly and he would wake feeling as though sleep had only touched him for a mere five minutes.
The blonde now found himself in what was formerly his Father's study, now deemed his. The Dark Arts books were tucked away in the shelves amongst many, many other texts. It was a long, narrow room with many windows, the walls and floors both made of oak. Candles lit whenever sombody entered the room and lined along the bookshelves. Draco liked this room, despite whose it had been before. He had never been able to go inside that room until his Father was gone.
There he sat, finishing off 'The Critique of Practical Reason' and waiting for his unwanted visitors to arrive. Dawny appeared in front of him, making him jump slightly and the Elf looked up at him apologetically. "Yes?"
"Master Malfoy, Minister Fudge and a couple of Aurors are here," Dawny explained hurriedly, his hands wringing around themselves.
"Who are the Aurors?"
"Mr Snape and the werewolf are two of them, Dawny doesn't know the other two," the confessed.
"Show them the way here, and afterwards could you bring me some tea?" Draco asked, rubbing his head and putting his book softly down.
It was ten minutes later that the group of five men waltzed into the study, Dawny bowed at his Master and disappeared. Draco was sitting, one leg crossed with his hands folded neatly over his abdomen. He looked powerful behind his Father's desk, between the rows of books as he raised his eyebrow at the Minister for Magic.
"Good morning, Fudge," Draco greeted and then turned to the Four Aurors behind him. "Snape, Lupin, Scrigmeaour and...sorry, who is it you are again?"
"Shacklebot," he growled testily, it was obvious that two out of the four Aurors detested Draco. Or his last name, moreso.
"Are you gonna tell us where your rotten Father is yet?" Scrigmeaour asked through clenched teeth, Fudge put up his hand in protest.
"Now, now! Settle down. We've already put the boy under Veratesirum, and believe me I'd like to do it again but we all know that, that would be against the Law! Any further information he has, must be willingly given. His name is free," Fudge said, but the two men looked unsatisified and Fudge did himself.
"How have you been keeping, Draco?" asked Snape, his voice wasn't harsh but nor was it soft, he didn't like showing affection ever, even if it was to his very Godson. The blonde inclined his head slightly but did not answer.
"Please get your search done and over with so I can be left in peace," was all Draco said, in an unamused drawl.
"First we will give you the benefit of the doubt," Fudge smirked devilishly, this caused the two un-favoured Aurors to look at him incredulously. A Malfoy - the benefit of the doubt? Yeah right. "Have you acquired any new Dark objects or uncovered any?"
"No. As I said before, there are Dark objects in this Manor but as to their location I am not aware. They only reveal themselves to the one who placed them there which is inadvertently Lucius. If I fall across any, I am sure to let you know," this was all truthful, except for the last part. There was no way that Draco was going to hand over his Family heirloms, dark or not, willingly.
"Very well. We will inform you when you are finished,"
"I was wondering if I could please have a word with Severus," Draco added before they had left the room, the greasy-haired Potions Master nodded but Fudge looked displeased.
"Only if another Auror volunteers to stay and monitor,"
"I will," Professor Lupin spoke up immediately. If the grapevine was correct, he was their Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher once more - which Draco didn't really mind, although the entire werewolf thing still unnerved him a little bit.
"Very well," and with that Fudge and the other two were gone.
"Dawny," Draco called, the House Elf appeared vastly. "Please make that tea for three, and hurry it along," the Elf bowed and disappeared. "Please, sit," he gestured to the two chairs before his desk.
Seveurs and Lupin sat down, the werewolf looking perplexed and nervous all at once. Draco ignored this and paid him no attention.
"How are you, Severus?" Draco asked monotonely, his eyes were a dead slate of grey ice.
The man shifted uncomfortably beneath the sixteen year-olds stare, he had watched him grow up and was sadened by his complete change in attitude. He was mature, that was for sure. But he was also supremely depressed, Draco's reaction to that was to be cold and uncaring which Severus didn't like one bit.
"Fine. Better if those hounds weren't trailing me. No offence," he nodded his head towards Lupin who merely shrugged.
"They have us all under a watchful eye," the other man said with a sigh, it seemed that Draco wasn't the only one who despised the Minister and his goons coming around and riffling through their things.
"Even you, Lupin?" Draco asked, this was curious news to him. It made sense with Snape, he was a Death Eater afterall even though he greatly attributed to the Dark Lord's downfall.
"I would before if you called me Remus, Malfoy,"
"And I myself would prefer you called me Draco," the blonde responded easily, Dawny reappeared with a tray of tea. "Thank you Dawny, you may go. Anyone for tea?" Draco poured the other two men, before they could respond, a cup and then himself one.
"How are you doing in respects to..." Snape let his voice trail off, he never knew how to really approach the subject of Narcissa Malfoy's death. It had only happened a month ago and the boy was still so tender, especially since he witnessed it first hand.
"As good as can be," Draco quickly cut him off, saving him the pain of awkwardly stumbling and embarassing himself before his co-worker. "I just wanted to ask whether or not you could accompany me to Diagon Alley to retrieve my school things?"
"Ah yes, it is only one week away isn't it?" Snape drawled, this wasn't a particularly happy thing for him but he knew it'd be better for Draco to be around his friends instead of all alone in this massive Manor, save for the Elves. "Will do then. What say we tomorrow?"
"That would do fine," Draco said with a slight nod and then took a sip out of his tea cup. "I do believe that the Minister wishes the two of you to help with his search," he said after a few moments of silence.
Severus frowned, that was it? No endearing conversations? Just a couple of cold questions filled with no emotion whatsoever? Snape was afraid that the Draco he knew was no longer in that body before him. The men stood to leave but Lupin's eyes lingered on the desk.
"Is that Kant's work? I thought you despised Muggles," he said in somewhat disbelief.
"I am not Lucius," was Draco's response before he tilted his head imploringly towards the door and with two lingering looks, the men turned to leave Draco to himself. The blonde sighed and leaned back in his chair, the other never touched tea cups began getting cold as his own did as well.
He waited until the Minister and four men returned to the study to inform that nothing new had been found. Draco then asked them to leave his property, rather glad that it was the last time they were going to be there until Christmas holidays. "Lets get out of this filthy house," Scrigmeour hissed as he turned on his heel.
With that Draco got up from his desk, he walked towards the exit of the room thinking that the men were gone by now. However, it seemed that two lingered. Seveurs and Remus were speaking in low voices in the middle of the corridor, it looked as though they were leaving but got caught up in conversation. Draco quickly took out his wand and disillusioned himself and stepped closer to hear their words.
"He is simply not himself," Severus snapped, crossing his arms as Remus gave him a pity look.
"Now Severus, he just needs time," he assured, his hand came up to Severus' shoulder comfortingly and Draco was surprised to see that it was not shaken away.
"Does he? I've known that child my entire life and never have I seen him so -so, dead!" his eyes were desperate, pleading almost to the man before him as he took a step forwards.
"Maybe that's the problem. Same goes with Harry..."
"What about that Potter, boy? What does that have to do with my Draco?" Severus hissed dangerously, Remus took one more step closing the distance between the two men and brought Severus into his arms. Draco didn't find this appalling, though slightly surprising given their past.
"They are going through the samething, sort of. They are at a crossroad in life, one that none of us will ever experience as intensly as they are. They are alone in a great big world where so many people expect so many things of both of them. They are lost. And I think their biggest problem is that we continue to treat them like children when they are indeed no longer that," Remus said, drawing himself away from his friend and collegue. Severus sighed at this, his eyes lowered to the ground sadly.
"They are only sixteen, of course they are still children. We were still throwing petty insults at one another then," Severus' voice was no longer harsh, but defeated. He didn't like standing around doing nothing as he watched his Godson slowly disappear from the world into a blank state.
"Yes, but it's not age that counts but what one has experienced. I think I can speak for both Harry and Draco that at their age they have experienced more than most people do in their life-time. They both just need time, Sev. They'll get there, I promise," Remus smiled gently, bringing up the others mans face to look at his.
"Promise?"
"Marauder's Promise," Remus stated. This confused Draco a little bit, but he shook it off. The entire situation itself was confusing.
"I'm not taking that thing worth anything," Severus snapped, although there was a playful smirk on his face as he turned away from Draco and began down the hallway. "Come, Fudge'll be wondering where we are." and with that, the two men silently disappeared.
Draco disillusioned himself when he felt safe, he rubbed his forehead perplexedly. 'What is Potter going through? Ah-sod the arsehole, why should I care?' and with that he straightened his back and went to go finish reading his book. Attempting to get everything off his mind but ultimately failing.
*
When all soldiers lay their weapons down
or when all kings and all queens relinquish their crowns
Or when the only true messiah rescues us
from ourselves it's easy to imagine
There will be (sorrow)
Yeah there will be (sorrow)
And there will be sorrow no more