Chapter Three:
Broken
A/N: Lets get on the train everybody! Please review!!! (Sorry for shortness, next one will be longer and MUCH more interesting, hehe)!
Broken - Lifehouse
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out.
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing, In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm barely holdin' on...
*
Harry's chest was tightened, walking was tiresome in itself. Even breathing hurt at the moment, his body was racked in pain from the previous evening. Vernon and Dudley had shown their utmost anger towards the sixteen year-old the night before, his last night at the Durlsey's before finally returning to Hogwarts. Of course he was relieved as he was dropped off at Kings Cross, though it was extremely difficult to make it seem like he was alright.
Many people followed him as he attempted not to limp towards Platform Nine and Three Quarters, he sucked in his breath and took a run at the barrier before seeing the gleaming red steam train on the other side. He had never felt happier at that moment.
It was only quarter to ten in the morning, more students wouldn't arrive for another hour. Hary had planned this, lying to Vernon that the train was leaving earlier that year, so that he could prepare himself for his friends. He needed to tidy himself up, rejuvenate a bit, throw on a few glamour charms now that he could use magic and perhaps grab some candy from the trolly.
Dragging his trunk into the back of the train, near the bathroom he knew he would be using a lot on the trip, Harry hoisted his trunk up the compartment before sludging off to the bathroom. As soon as he was there, he collapsed against one of the sinks, leaning heavily on it. His emerald eyes flashed up to the mirror where he looked at himself, battered and breathing heavily. It was then he realized he wasn't alone.
Draco Malfoy was leaning against the doorway to a stall, his arms crossed lightly and his eyes held an unknown gaze - something Harry had never seen before in the Slytherin. He wasn't sneering, or even raising his eyebrows. Harry was stilled. 'Oh no, Malfoy. Seeing me like this...I'm never going to see the end of this,' he thought grudgingly to himself.
"Potter..." Draco began, he stepped forward towards the boy and watched the bruentte physical shiver. He paused, calculating the situation, the boy's face was shadowed. He recalled what Severus and Remus spoke about a couple of days earlier in his corridor, he sighed heavily. "What happened to you?" he asked, there was no emotion in his voice.
Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing, it may not have been nice but it wasn't mean either. Was he just curious? "Nothing," he mumbled in response and then slipped past the blonde and into a stall. Harry took a few breaths before feeling the vomit rise from his stomach, the sickness took over the fact he knew Draco was there and he emptied his contents into the bowl. Immediately after finishing, the Slytherin was bending down behind Harry, he placed his hand on the others shoulder gently. He had no idea what he was doing, but he knew he had to do it.
"Potter, what happened? Are you alright?" Draco asked, concern laced in his voice.
Harry was confused. He was shaking all over. 'Get ahold of yourself! This is Malfoy! Although, he sure does seem different...Malfoy!' Harry screamed to himself inside of his head. With one general shake, the brunette came to a standing position and swept past Draco once more. "I'm fine, thanks," he mumbled before taking out his wand and facing the mirror again. He breathed a couple of steady breaths before casting a glamour charm over his face and body. Draco watched, not knowing what to do or how to react.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone," Harry said coldly, he was terrified that the whole school would know of his bruises by the next day.
"I would never a tell a soul," Draco whispered and then took a firm step forward, Harry seemed to shy away even though there was still a few metres between them. "Harry," he spoke his name so softly, and the other boy was certain that was the first time Malfoy had ever said his first name. "Who did that to your face? To you?" he questioned.
Harry gripped the sides of the sink tightly, his body quivered. "Just don't tell anyone, Malfoy," he spat and then turned around to stalk out of the bathroom.
Draco was left dumbstruck. Had he just acted that kind, or at least not ill-hearted towards Harry Potter? 'Well, I guess you are just growing up,' he shrugged to himself. But he couldn't help but think about those emerald eyes as he returned to his seat. They looked haunted and unreachable. They looked depressed, sunken, and empty all at once.
Even as students began to crowd the train, all Draco could think about was those two eyes bearing into him.
Harry sat wearily in the end compartment, leaning against the window and looking out. He didn't even notice Ron and Hermione as they came to join him.
*
The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life
*
...it was hot, too hot. It didn't feel right. Those hands against his back, the larger person pushing deeper inside of himself. Harry wriggled underneath, but he was too weak to get free. He felt his magic attempting to react, but he just shoved it back underneath of his own skin. 'No. Stay strong. Do not show weakness,' he repeated to himself...
"Mate, wake up!" Ron shook his best friend awake, he was then met with terror in those emerald eyes. Ron backed up slowly, putting his hands up in defense. "Woah, Harry, are you alright?"
"I'm f-fine, just had a nightmare," he said shakily, swinging his legs out of bed as he saw that nobody else from the dorm was in them anymore. It must be getting time for classes.
"It seemed like a pretty terrible nightmare! What was it about?" Ron quipped with concern.
"I'm gonna go get ready," Harry quickly evaded any further questions by grabbing his school uniform and cloak and rushing off to the bathroom. He saw dark circles under his eyes in the mirror and knew it wasn't from slipping, it was the Glamour charm wearing off. Sighing he replaced it, looking fresher than ever. "I definitely look better than I feel," he mumbled.
Five minutes later Hermione joined the two boys at the portrait hole and they began their descent to the Great Hall. "So I heard we have Advaned Charms first, and that the Dark Arts are this afternoon," Hermione began explaining.
"How do you know the schedule before anybody even got it?" Ron asked incredulously, trust Hermione to know every little piece of information necessary when it came to school at least a few hours in advance.
"I was talking to Professor Lupin this morning," she stated matter-of-factly, huffing her nose in the air as she knew exactly what the redhead was thinking about.
"Harry, you alright? You haven't said much of anything since we got back...Remus was worried," Ron said, changing the subject. He was still a little curious about waking his friend up from the supposed nightmare that morning.
"M'fine, just distracted," he simply responded, but his eyes were casted down at his shoes as they walked down the stairs, his shoulders were slumped and it seemed like every step was a pain. Hermione sent her troubled expression Ron's way and slightly shook her head, communicating to 'leave it for now'.
"How many courses do we have this year again?"
"I have nine, you two have seven,"
"Nine, 'Mione?! You do know we don't have NEWTs or OWLs this year, right?!" Ron exclaimed, he looked over to Harry for some support in this but unlike what he usually would have responded with - the brunette boy seemed not to be listening at all. The only thing that mattered to him was each step he took. Ron frowned as they continued their walk in perplexed silence.
It was out in the Entrance Hall, just before the Great Hall, that the incident took place. Harry had fumbled on the last step by looking upwards at all the commotion of students. This made him lose his footing. He flung fowards into the mass and fell face first, but he didn't even make a disgruntled 'ow' as he brought his knees around to his chest - needing just a moment to collect himself.
There was a group of Slytherin's entering the Hall at that time who began laughing loudly at the incident as Ron and Hermione bustled over to help him up. "Are you alright, mate? That was a mighty trip you did there!" the redhead said, pulling him to his feet, Harry winced as he did this but didn't say a word still.
"Well well, Potty can't even use his own two feet," Blaise Zabini drawled coldly, crossing his arms as the group approached them. Hermione shot him a glare as Ron ignored this and continued to help his friend recover himself - he looked him up and down and everything seemed to be in place, but Harry wouldn't move an inch and kept staring blankly downwards.
"What's wrong with Scarhead, has he finally lost his mind?" chuckled Pansy, wrapping her arm around Zabini's shoulders, leaning against him slightly.
Ron finally turned to them, his face flushed with anger. "Bugger off!" he snapped angrily, still holding tight onto Harry but the brunette seemed to finally move - wiggling against this grasp. "What is it?" he turned and asked, Harry merely whined and attempted to get out of his grasp, Ron let go and Harry went still once again.
"Maybe we could teach -" Blaise had begun, the other Slytherin's anticipating a fight as the one speaking withdrew his wand.
He was stopped, however, as none other than Draco Malfoy stepped in between the two groups. He looked Harry up and down, noticing that the emerald eyes widened in recognition. "Leave the Muggle-lover alone, his filth is not worth our precious time," he sneered and then walked off, his slightly put-off housemates trailing behind him.
Hermione turned to Harry with concern, but it seemed as though the brunette had already started walking slowly towards the Great Hall. Once he took his seat at the Gryffindor Table, he took a bit out of a piece of toast and then placed it dejectedly on his plate, staring holes into it. They joined their friend and awkwardly ate a silent breakfast.
Harry didn't go past his first piece of toast, he didn't even take a sip of pumpkin juice. His friends didn't say anything, although concern and worry welled up inside of them they held back. As they were standing to leave, the brunette faltered and had to use the table to hoist himself to his feet. Ron ran around to come quickly to his side, snaking his arm around his hips. Harry swayed away from him.
"I think you should go see Madame Pomfrey," Ron stated, he began to drag Harry from the hall who reluctantly followed. Hermione came bustling after, all three unaware of the intent grey eyes that followed.
"Why don't you guys goto Charms? No use all of us being late," he mumbled, saying more words than they had heard come from his mouth in awhile.
Ron and Hermione exchanged looks before the witch reached forward towards him to pat his shoulder, he flinched and backed away. "Promise you go," she frowned.
"I promise," he nodded sternly and then started off up the stairs to the Hospital Wing. Ron and Hermione watched him for a moment before sighing and going up themselves, trailing only a couple of meters behind him. He left them at the Third Floor landing, they kept going up after a lingering glance to make sure he was going in the directional of the Hospital Wing.
As Harry now limped down the corridor, relieved to be alone in the hallway so he could slow donw, he didn't notice a certain Slytherin come up in front of him until he ran straight into him. He felt as though he was going to topple over, instead strong arms held him. Empty emerald eyes looked longingly up at grey ones, and they both knew at that moment that they shared something nobody else in Hogwarts did; immense pain and loneliness.
Draco cleared his throat, regaining himself. "Potter," he greeted firmly, not letting go of the weak boy before him.
"Wha-what do you want?" Harry attempted to spit out, but it was rather meek.
"I did not think you were stable enough to goto the Hospital Wing on your own. If you are going there, that is," Draco added with the slight raise of his eyebrow.
"Er, yeah...I-I want some Dreamless Sleep Drought," he said, casting his eyes downward finally.
"What for?" asked the blonde all too quickly, without even realizing he had said those words with a hint of concern in his voice. 'No use avoiding it, without Lucius you are becoming soft,' he cursed to himself. Not like he minded it.
"Nothing,"
"Nightmares? I get them too," Draco said oddly, he was now further inspecting Harry, he felt as if the boy was no longer a rival but an animal in the zoo he was examining.
At the others words, Harry looked up with a strange expression. "Does it make you feel like you haven't even slept a wink?" he whispered hopefully.
"Yes, it does," Draco responded firmly, his hands were loosening their grip on Harry's arms at this point but he refused to let go. It looked like Harry was about to sway off of his own feet. "I have some, if you want them," he finally said surely.
"Wha-I-no," Harry said and at that point he slunk out of the blonde's arms and sauntered towards the Hospital Wing. He turned around to see a blank-faced Malfoy staring after him, "Thank you," he inclined his head before disappearing behind the two large doors.
Draco sighed. 'Why do you have to go and try and help Potter? Of course he does not want your help, he does hate you remember! And he has every reason to hate you too, same with everybody else in this bleeding Castle,' he cursed inside of his head before turning on his heel and walking towards his first class.
He felt the sting of mild rejection as he strode away, his footsteps echoing. All he was doing was trying to help and Potter was just pushing him further - did Scarhead think he was too good for him? Well, Malfoy would certainly show him otherwise.
From that day on, things just got worse...
*
I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will, will be OK.