Disclaimer:I own nothing, except Sophie.

AN: Sorry this chapter took so long! Also, since Lorne appears, I am dedicating this chapter to his portrayer, Andy Hallet, who died of heart failure in March. May he rest in peace.

Sophie smiled at the idea that things were going to get better for the Tara in the story, and her excitement soon returned.

"Okay Mommy Willow, keep going! Me and Mama Tara wanna know what happens!"

"Yeah, we wanna know what happens!" agreed Tara, laughing.

"Can't resist my girls" Willow smiled. "Back in town, Warren wasn't very happy about being embarrassed by Tara.."

--

"I can't believe her!" Warren growled, sitting before a roaring fire in the local pub. "I mean, who does she think she is? That girl's tangled with the wrong guy. Nobody says 'no' to Warren Mears!"

"Darn right!" Andrew agreed, making his way over to their table with two large mugs of beer.

"Dismissed, rejected, publicly humiliated!" Warren yelled, snatching the mugs from Andrew and hurling them roughly into the fire. "It's more than I can take!"

"Uh.. want me to get some more beer?" Andrew asked.

"Why? It won't help!" Warren lamented, his head in his hands. "I'm a failure!"

"You? Never! You've got to pull yourself together, man" said Andrew, trying to cheer up his friend.

Andrew: Gosh , it disturbs me to see you Warren,

Looking so down in the dumps.

Andrew grabbed Warren's cheeks and pulled his face into a smile, earning a punch which sent him crashing into Angel, Gunn, and Spike's table. He stood up, undaunted.

Every guy here'd love to be you Warren,

Even while taking your lumps

Warren crossed his arms grumpily, turning his back on Andrew.

There's no person in town as admired as you,

You're everyone's favourite guy.

People are awed and inspired by you,

And it's really not hard to see why!

April and Amy, who had been sitting nearby, leaned closer to Warren, sighing.

No one's slick as Warren, no one's quick as Warren,

No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Warren.

For there's no man in town half as manly.

Perfect, a true paragon.

You can ask Spike, Gunn, and Angel,

And they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be on!

Andrew, searching for a way to raise his friend's spirits further, snatched Snyder's belt, causing the man's pants to fall down, and wrapped it around Warren's arm. Warren flexed his bicep, snapping the belt.

Spike, Gunn, and Angel: No one's been like Warren, a kingpin like Warren

Andrew: No one's got those amazing good looks like Warren!

Warren stood and flexed his muscles, seeming very proud of himself.

Warren: As a specimen, yes I'm intimidating!

Everyone: My what a guy, that Warren!

Everybody in the bar clinked their glasses together.

Everyone: Give twelve hurrahs!

Give five hundred hip hips!

Andrew: Warren is the best, and the rest are all drips!

Andrew swung his fist, accidently hitting Gunn in the face and setting off a massive bar brawl.

Everyone: No one fights like Warren,

Douses lights like Warren.

Snyder yelped as Warren's teeth sank into his ankle.

Snyder: In a wrestling match no one bites like Warren!

April and Amy: There's no one as burly and brawny.

Warren lifted the bench that the two girls were sitting on over his head.

Warren: And I've got biceps to spare!

Andrew: Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny!

Warren dropped the bench on Andrew, then tore his shirt open, revealing a hairy chest.

Warren: And every last inch of me's covered with hair!

Everyone: No one hits like Warren,

Matches wits like Warren.

Andrew: In a spitting match, no one spits like Warren!

Warren: I'm especially good at expectorating!

Warren spat a gobbet through the air, and Spike, Angel, and Gunn held up score cards.

Spike, Angel and Gunn: 10 points for Warren!

Warren gestured for the others to gather around him.

Warren: When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs,

Every morning to help me grow large.

Warren took some eggs and juggled them for a while, then threw them into the air and swallowed them. Andrew tried to do the same thing, but ended up with egg splattered all over his face.

Warren: And now I am grown, I eat five dozen eggs,

So I'm roughly the size of a barge!

Everyone: No one shoots like Warren,

Makes those beauts like Warren.

Andrew: Then goes stomping around wearing boots like Warren!

Everyone: My what a guy.........Warren!

At that moment, a very stressed Giles burst into the bar.

"Somebody, please, help me!" he cried.

"Mr. Giles?" asked Lorne, the bar-tender, looking up from serving a beer to Oz.

"Please, you have to help me!" Giles begged. "She's got her, she's locked her up in the dungeon!"

"Who?" Oz asked.

"Tara!" Giles yelled. "Come on, there's no time to lose!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa" said Warren, trying to calm Giles down and get some answers. "Who's got Tara locked up in a dungeon?"

"A witch! A horrible, evil dark witch!" Oz choked on his drink, while Lorne gasped in shock. Everyone else, however, seemed a lot less sympathetic.

"Was it a big beast?" Spike taunted.

"Huge!" replied Giles.

"Was it ugly?" asked Angel.

"Hideously ugly!" said Giles. "Will you help me?"

"Sure we will" said Warren with a sneaky grin, as he winked at Spike and Angel, gesturing them to carry Giles to the door.

"You will? Oh thank you, thank you! Wait a minute, what are you doing? No, please listen.. ah!" Spike and Angel ignored Giles' pleas, tossing him unceremoniously into the freezing snow.

"Poor guy" Lorne sighed. Oz nodded in agreement. Unfortunately, seeing Giles had given Warren an idea, which he decided to reveal to Andrew.

Warren: Andrew, I'm afraid I've been thinking...

Andrew: A dangerous pastime.

Warren: I know. But that loony old man's Tara's uncle,

And his sanity's only so-so.

Now the wheels in my head have been turning,

Since I looked at that loony old man.

See, I promised myself I'd be married to Tara, and now I'm evolving a plan...

Warren whispers his plan into Andrew's ear.

"No.. Would she?" Andrew asked.

"Guess" said Warren, grinning evilly.

"Oh, now I get It!"

"Let's go!" they both yelled.

Andrew: No one plots like Warren!

Warren: Takes cheap shots like Warren!

Andrew: No one persecutes harmless crackpots like Warren!

Warren: Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful!

Andrew: As down to the depths you descend!

Warren: I won't even feel remorseful!

Andrew: As long as you get what you want in the end!

Warren: No one's got brain's like Warren!

Andrew: Entertains like Warren!

Both: Who can make up these endless refrains like Warren!

Warren: My marriage we'll soon be celebrating!

Everyone: My what a guy..... Warren!

--

"It doesn't sounds like things are getting better to me" said Sophie, pouting.