Guess who's back....?
I'm gonna start by saying: SORRY!!! I know I haven't updated in about, what, 2 months? I've been extremely busy lately, but I know that isn't an excuse. Some people have probably lost all interest in this story because of the long wait, and I completely understand if you have! I know I probably would have! Anyway, this chapter isn't the best I've ever written. It might be kinda confusing and it's definitely a strange one. Rose is going through some... issues. And not exactly the teenage kind. Enjoy :)

Big, big, BIG thanks to my #1 reader, Kirsty, for pushing me for weeks to finish this chapter!

Disclaimer: It belongs to Richelle Mead.

Chapter 10

The next morning I woke up grumpy and sore. A few bruises had developed during the night where the strigoi had hit me. It wasn't anything new really, but it still pissed me off. Everyone else seemed happy and relaxed though, so I didn't say anything. As we were eating breakfast and watching Cartoon Network the door bell rang. I went to go answer it, and I found a particularly sexy Russian smiling down at me.

"Dimitri!" I exclaimed, "Are you here for a check up?"

He nodded, "Yes... and-" He lowered his voice "I had to clean up a mess this morning."

It took me a minute to realize what he was talking about. When it hit me it felt like a conk in the head: He had to dispose of the two dead strigoi.

"Careful Rose, soon you'll catch up to me." He smiled again.

"I guess..." I already had two molnija marks. Two reminders etched into my skin of the death of one of my best friends. I hadn't been thrilled when I had gotten them, because all they reminded me of was Mason. But this one, the third one, was different. Because they will always remind me that I saved three innocent humans, I thought with a small smile.

When we walked into the kitchen together everyone looked up. Lena's face lit up and she jump off her stool, making her way over to us.

"Hi! I'm Lena. You're Rose's cousin right?" She asked Dimitri, holding her hand out to him.

Dimitri shook her hand and raised his eyebrows at me questioningly. "Yes, I'm Rose's cousin, Dimitri. Nice to meet you."

"Does that mean that you work for the police too?" Mark interrupted, walking up to Dimitri and also shaking his hand.

Dimitri paused for a second, "I guess it does." He answered, going along with it.

I mentally winced. I should have told him about our cover story. I looked over at him and saw that his expression was neutral. He wasn't worried about these humans, but he wasn't exactly comfortable either.

I took this time to study Dimitri. He looked the same, with his cowboy duster and his hair pulled back into a low ponytail at the nape of his neck. He stood ram rod straight out of habit, but he seemed relaxed. His chiseled face was freshly shaven and the corner of his lips were quirked in an amused smirk. Just him being in the room was enough to make my heart hammer in my chest. Well, it used to anyway. My head shot up in surprise. Had I really just thought that? No, I was still in love with Dimitri... right? I looked over at him and tried to understand my feelings. I realized with some relief that he still made my heart pound, except that it felt almost distant. So faint, that I had to zone in on it. Crap. How could I let this happen? How was I so stupid?

I suddenly felt suffocated. Like I couldn't breath anymore. Everything just seemed to happen around me in slow motion. I saw Eddie and Mark laughing, but I couldn't hear them. I saw Lena flirting with Dimitri, but I felt nothing. A wave of panic washed over me, and I couldn't take it anymore. I bolted out of the kitchen, ignoring someone calling to me in concern. I threw open the back sliding door and ran out into the morning sun blindly. I didn't know where I was going, I just put one foot in front of the other.

Someone had once told me that they ran to try to outrun their fears. At the time I had thought that was ridiculous. Now I understood, because all I wanted to do was run away.

I finally stopped when I reached to end of our estate. The eight foot wall was in front of me, blocking me from my freedom. What freedom? I thought bitterly. I've never had it, so why did I feel like I was losing it?

I was breathing hard, more from the emotion overload than the running. I placed both my hands on the wall and rested my forehead against it. It was so easy, this human life. So full of laughter and love. Although I've lived in the human world before, this time was different. When I had run away to Portland with Lissa, I was constantly on my guard. Letting no one get close. I had taken care of her around the clock, barely letting her out of my sight. But Lissa wasn't here now, so I had let my guard down. I had opened myself up to these strangers and I loved it. Then why don't you climb over this ridiculous fence and run away?

My head shot up. I looked around me, but I was alone. That voice in my head... it wasn't mine. Sure, it sounded like mine, but it wasn't. Who are you and what do you want? I thought, feeling stupid that I was talking to myself.

What do you mean? I'm you. The voice answered.

No. You're not! You're not.... I repeated with less conviction. With everything that's been going on lately, I wasn't sure about anything anymore.

Come on, climb over the fence. You're so close to your goal! The voice said encouragingly. It sounded pleasant, like a teacher encouraging a student.

A sense of peace enclosed me and I knew what I had to do. I had to go. I had to get away from this horrible cage. I scurried up the stone fence and stood on it. I looked out and was amazed at what I saw. On the other side of this wall was a beautiful lake, the water was pure blue and ducks swam happily. I looked to my left and saw the road that lead out of town. All I had to do was follow it. I looked behind me, back to the house. I could see through the kitchen window and saw my friends laughing. They were happy and free. That's what I wanted, no needed.

I stared at them sadly when I heard a rustling beneath me. I looked down and saw two piercing eyes staring back up at me.

"Rose, what are you doing?" The man asked quietly.

He was familiar. Very familiar. I stared down at his face, trying to remember who he was. Somewhere in my mind I knew him. My heart knew him. He was... Dim-

Rose! Listen to me! The voice returned, screaming for my attention.

That man is nothing to you! He is an impostor, you must run. Go!

I ran.

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I don't know how long I ran, I just put one foot in front of the other. I didn't even know where I was going! Every time I wanted to stop and rest, it seemed as if my body just ran even harder. Eventually I stopped recognizing the landmarks around me. I didn't know which direction I was heading in and I din't know what time it was. My body ached and I was completely famished. Yet my body kept going, it had a mind of its own.

As I ran, I clenched my fists, which were pumping back and forth in front of my chest. The pull of my muscles caused a sharp pain in my upper right arm. I looked down to see that the wound there must have opened up, the blood soaking the sleeve of my shirt. I swore under my breath and willed myself to stop. My body wanted to refuse but I was determined.

Finally, after several minutes of trying, I came to a sudden halt. It was almost as if I was breaking out of a trance. The stupidity of my actions came crashing down on me and my legs began to shake violently. They collapsed under me and the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the side of the highway. I looked up and noticed for the first time that the sky was completely dark. The stars were twinkling brightly and the air was silent.

What have I done? I asked myself. A lump grew in my throat and the road in front of me blurred. I brought my legs up to my chest and buried my face into my knees. I was ashamed. Ashamed of what I had done, but most of all, I was ashamed that I had let the two people I love most in the world down. Lissa and Dimitri.

I crawled away from the highway, laying down behind a bush where passing cars wouldn't see me. I cried myelf to sleep.

I know it's not great. But please review! I give you permission to yell at me all you want. So get to it!! :)

Kirsty - Thanks again hun for all your support and pushing! I means the world to me. Back to your old reviews: No, I haven't read the True Blood series. I've heard a lot about them and I'm curious to see what they're about. I'll definitely give them a try someday.

Yes, I do have facebook. I'll put a link up on my profile. Anybody who wants to add me, go right ahead. Just tell me who you are first. I like to know who I'm accepting ;)

Jessica xoxo