Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Sophie.
"Glad you think so sweetie" Willow smiled. "Now where were we.."
--
Wesley was the first to break the silence that had fallen over the kitchen at Tara's entrance.
"Wonderful to see you out and about, Miss. I'm Wesley, the head of household.." the clock moved to shake Tara's hand, but was pushed aside by Xander as he rushed into the kitchen. "And this is Xander" Wesley frowned, annoyed.
"Pleased to meet you" said Xander, kissing Tara's hand. Wesley pushed the candlestick aside.
"Is there anything we can do to make your stay more comfortable?" he asked.
"Well, I am a little hungry" Tara replied.
"Here that? She's hungry" said Buffy, turning to address the rest of the kitchen. "Start the fire, break out the silver, wait for china!"
"Stop!" Wesley hissed. "Remember what the mistress said!"
"I'm not going to let her go hungry after all she's been through!" said Buffy.
"Alright" the clock relented, "Just a glass of water, crust of bread and then.."
"Wes, I'm surprised at you man!" said Xander, frowning at him. "Tara's not a prisoner, she's our guest, and we need to make her feel as welcome here as possible." He hopped over to Tara and guided her towards the dining room.
"Fine, but please, keep it down" Wesley pleaded. "If the Mistress finds out about this, she'll kill us!"
"But what would dinner be without music?" said Xander.
"Music?" Wesley panicked as the door to the dining room swung and struck his backside, sending him flying into a large pie. "Have you been listening to a word I've said?!" They apparently hadn't, as Xander jumped on to the table in the darkened dining room, a spotlight shining on him.
"Good evening Miss" he smiled as Tara entered. "It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you here tonight. So relax, pull up a chair" a chair slid out for Tara as she approached, so she sat, smiling. "As the dining room proudly presents, your dinner." The other enchanted servants began bringing out plates of food, and Xander started to sing.
Xander: Be..our..guest, be our guest,
Put our service to the test!
Tie a napkin round your neck cherie',
And we provide the rest.
A napkin tried to tie itself around Tara's neck, but she politely removed it and placed it n her lap instead.
Soup du jour, hot hors d'ouerves,
Why we only live to serve!
Try the grey stuff, it's delicious.
Tara dipped her finger into a dish of some grey substance, though she was a little hesitant.
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!
They can sing, they can dance,
After all Miss, this is France,
And the dinner here is never second best!
Xander handed Tara menu, which she opened and looked through.
Go on, unfold your menu,
Take a glance, and then you'll be our guest,
Oui, our guest, be our guest!
The plates paraded themselves before Tara, who tasted each dish.
Plates: Beef ragout, cheese souffle,
Xander: Pie and pudding en flambe'!
Wesley fought his way out of the pie, just as Xander set it alight, causing the clock to yelp and jump around, trying to beat out the flames that had spread to himself.
We'll prepare and serve with flair,
A culinary cabaret!
You're alone, and you're scared,
But the banquet's all prepared.
No-one's gloomy or complaining,
While the flatware's entertaining!
Xander began to juggle some knives and forks.
We tell jokes, I do tricks,
With my fellow candlesticks.
All: And it's all in perfect taste,
That you can bet!
Xander: Come on and lift your glass,
You've won your own free pass to
Be our guest, If you're stressed,
It's fine dining we suggest!
All: Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!
Be our guest, be our guest,
Get your worries of your chest.
Let's just say for your entree',
We've an array, may we suggest,
A bowl of soup slid in front of Tara.
Try the bread, try the soup,
While the croutons loop the the loop!
It's a treat for any diner!
Don't believe me? Ask the china!
Singing pork, dancing veal,
What an entertaining meal!
How can anyone be gloomy or depressed?
We'll make you shout 'Encore!'
And send us out for more.
Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!
Wesley wiped the pie off his face, beginning to panic.
"Will you please keep it down?" He was ignored, and Xander grabbed hold of him, pulling them both under a spot light.
Xander: Life is so unnerving, for a servant who's not serving,
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon.
Ah, the good old days when we were useful,
Suddenly those good old days are gone!
Wesley noticed that it seemed to be snowing, and looked up to see two enchanted salt shakers sprinkling over them to create the effect.
For years we've been rusting,
Wanting so much more than dusting,
Needing exercise, a chance to prove our skill!
Xander swung his arm, accidently knocking Wesley into a Jello mould, where he unfortunately stuck.
Most days we just lay around the castle,
Flabby, fat, and lazy,
You walk in and oops-a-daisy!
Xander Jumped on the edge of the Jello plate, sending poor Wesley flying through the air once again.
Buffy: It's a guest, its a guest,
Sakes alive well I'll be blessed.
Wine's been poured and thank the lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed.
With desert, she'll want tea,
And my dear that's fine with me,
While the cups do their soft-shoeing
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing!
I'll get warm, piping hot..
Heaven sakes, is that a spot?
Clean it up, we want the company impressed!
An enchanted washcloth wiped away the spot Buffy had seen on herself, then the teapot hopped over to Tara.
We've got a lot to do,
Is it one lump or two?
For you our guest!
All: She's our guest!
Buffy: She's our guest!
All: She's our guest!
Be our guest, be our guest,
Our command is your request.
It's been years since we've
Had anybody here,
And we're obsessed!
With your meal, with your ease,
Yes indeed, we aim to please.
With the candlelight still glowing,
Let us help you, we'll keep going..
Xander: Course by course,
One by one,
Until you shout..
All: 'Enough I'm done!'
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest!
Tonight you'll prop your feet up,
But for now let's eat up!
Wesley was still worried about the trouble they would get into if Dark Willow found out about this, but knew that he was fighting a losing battle, so gave in and began singing and dancing with the others.
Be our guest, be our guest!
Please be..our..Guest!
--
"That part was fun" said Sophie, giggling.