Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Sophie.
"But that's not any normal unhappy, that's really really unhappy!" Sophie cried. "Tara lefted Dark Willow before they breaked the spell, and now Ethan's coming to take Giles away!"
"Well you know sweetie, sometimes its the unhappy parts of a story that make the happy parts even happier" said Tara.
"How?" Sophie frowned.
"Uh.." Willow paused, thinking. "Okay, let's say that your Mama Tara was just in Africa doing charity work or something for a few months instead of being in Heaven for four years. I still would have been happy when she came back, but I wouldn't have been quite as happy as I was when Auntie Buffy brought her back from heaven. Do you understand?"
"I guess.." said Sophie, still frowning.
"Good" said Willow. "Now, where were we?"
"The part where everything's turning to poo-poo for everybody" replied Sophie.
"Of course" Willow laughed. "How could I forget.."
"May I help you?" asked Tara, confused.
"I've come to collect your Uncle" said Ethan, grinning evilly.
"Excuse me?" Tara frowned. Giles, spotting his former friend at the door, immediately became suspicious. He told Dawn to keep quiet, not wanting any harm to come to the little teacup, then got up to investigate.
"Ethan, what's all this about?" he asked, frowning. Ethan grinned, stepping aside to reveal a torch-wielding mob and a van clearly labled 'Sunnydale Asylum'.
"No!" Tara cried. "My Uncle is not crazy!"
"Then tell us why he was raving like a lunatic!" cried Andrew. "We all heard him didn't we?" The crowd cheered in agreement, except for poor Lorne, who'd had numerous threats made against him if he didn't come along, and was now feeling guiltier by the second. Two sinister looking men climbed out of the van and walked towards the cottage. Tara stepped protectively in front of Giles.
"No, I won't let you take him!"
"Tell us Giles, exactly how big was this witch?" asked Andrew mockingly.
"Huge!" said Giles. "At least six or seven feet tall!" If the situation hadn't been so serious, Tara could have laughed. Around the time that the witch had rescued her from the pack of demons in the forest, she had realised that Dark Willow was actually a few inches shorter than her. The members of the mob did laugh, but this laugh had a very different meaning.
"Can't get any crazier than that!" Andrew laughed.
"But it's true!" cried Giles.
"That's enough. Take him away" Ethan ordered his men. They easily pushed Tara aside and seized Giles by the arms, hauling him towards the van.
"No!" Tara cried, grabbing Ethan's arm. "No, you can't take him!" Ethan just shrugged her off, scowling. Warren approached, placing a hand on Tara's shoulder.
"Poor, sweet Tara" he said in mock sympathy. "It's a shame about your uncle."
"You know he's not crazy, Warren" said Tara, glaring at him. "You have to help him."
"Well, I suppose I could get this little misunderstanding sorted out" said Warren after a moment of thought. "On one condition, if.."
"If what?" said Tara suspiciously.
"If you agree to marry me" Warren grinned.
"What?" cried Tara, disgusted.
"One little word is all it takes.."
"Never!" Tara spat.
"Fine then!" said Warren angrily. "Have it your way!" Ethan's lackey's had reached the van and were about to throw Giles in, when Tara had an idea. She ran inside and grabbed the magic mirror.
"My Uncle Giles is telling the truth, and I can prove it!" she yelled, loud enough for everybody to hear as she ran back outside, raising the mirror in the air. "Show me the witch!" The mirror glowed, and the image of a sobbing Dark Willow appeared. The crowd gasped, then Ethan ordered his men to drop Giles, and they all jumped in the van and drove off.
"There she is!" cried Giles, pointing at the mirror. "There's the witch! I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen!"
"Is it dangerous?" asked Joyce, worried.
"Oh no, Dark Willow would never hurt anyone" said Tara. "She might look a little frightening, but she's really kind and gentle." She smiled at the mirror, stroking the edge affectionately. "She's my friend."
"She might be right, you know" added Lorne nervously. "I have known quite a few friendly witches in my time." Warren ignored him.
"If I didn't know any better" he growled jealously, "I'd say you had feelings for this monster!"
"She's not the monster Warren, you are!" Tara cried. Warren's face contorted in anger, and he snatched the mirror from Tara's hand.
"She's as crazy as the old Watcher!" he yelled, waving the mirror at the crowd. "The witch will make off with your children!" The mob gasped in terror. "She'll come after them in the nght!"
"No!" cried Tara, beginning to realise the magnitude of what she had just done.
"We're not safe until her head is mounted on a pike!" Warren shouted. "I say we kill the witch!" The mob, once again excluding Lorne, cheered in agreement.
Angel: We're not safe until she's dead!
Spike: She'll come stalking us at night!
Joyce: Set to sacrifice our children
To her monstrous appetite!
Gunn: She'll wreak havoc on our village
If we let her wander free!
Warren: So it's time to take some action boys,
It's time to follow me!
He snatched a torch from Spike and lit a haystack on fire as the crowd cheered, then danced around it, waving the mirror and preaching about the dangers of the witch.
Through the mist, through the woods,
Through the darkness and the shadows,
It's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride,
Say a prayer then we're there
At the drawbridge of a castle
And there's something truly terrible inside.
Warren chased Andrew around until he caught him, pushing the mirror in his face.
It's a witch,
She's got spells, dangerous ones!
Massive claws, kill us all,
For a feast!
Here her growl, see her foam,
But we're not coming home
'Til she's dead, good and dead!
We'll kill the witch!
"No!" cried Tara, running up to Warren. "I won't let you do this!" Warren took Tara's arm in a vice-like grip.
"If you're not with us then you're against us!" he growled, dragging her towards the cellar, before calling back to the other mob members. "Bring her uncle!"
"Stop, let her go!" cried Giles, Angel and Spike grabbing him by the arms as he attempted to run to his niece's aid.
"This is going too far, Warren!" yelled Lorne, his disgust with the situation prompting him to speak up. "You have to stop this!"
"Grab the demon too!" Warren yelled, and Gunn and Riley quickly stepped up to obey his orders. "We can't let them warn the creature!" Dawn peeked around the cottage door, terrified and helpless, as she watched Tara, Giles, and Lorne being tossed into the cellar and locked up.
"You can't do this, let us out!" Tara screamed, beating on the cellar door. Her cries were ignored as the mob, with Warren at the lead, set off through the village, using the mirror to lead them to the castle.
Mob: Light your torch,
Mount your horse!
Warren: Screw your courage to the sticking place!
Mob: We're counting on Warren to lead the way!
Through a mist, to a wood,
Where within a haunted castle
Something's lurking that you don't see everyday!
As the mob stormed through town, those who were staying behind waved goodbye, wishing them luck.
It's a witch,
One as tall as a mountain!
We won't rest 'til she's good and deceased!
Sally forth, tally ho,
Grab your sword, grab your bow!
Praise the lord and here we go!
"We'll lay siege to the castle and bring back her head!" Warren roared.
"I have to warn Dark Willow!" cried Tara, who, with help from Lorne, was trying unsuccessfully to prise the cellar door open with a pole. "This is all my fault! Oh, what are we going to do?"
"Don't worry Sweetie-pie, we'll think of something" said Lorne. "Any ideas Giles?"
"One" replied Giles. The Watcher picked up a spade and charged at the door, but he slipped and fell, hitting himself in the head with it. "Oh bollocks" he grumbled. Outside the cellar, Dawn sat listening, trying to think of something she could do to help. Then, she heard a familiar, very relieved though also kind of worried voice calling out to her.
"Dawn, there you are pipsqueak!" Faith called, rushing over. "We have to get back to the castle, there's a huge mob heading for.." she paused. "On second thought, maybe we should hang out here for a little while."
"But they've got the mirror!" cried Dawn. "And they locked Tara, her Uncle, and some green guy in the cellar!"
"You mean Lorne the barman?" Faith frowned.
"Yeah, that's the one!" Dawn grinned. "Hang on, how do you know him?"
"I may have stopped for a drink once or twice on my way back from gettin' the groceries" said Faith a little guiltily. "I have to make the most of bein' human while it lasts ya know. Now, let's see if we can do anythin' about gettin' Blondie and her pals out of here." As Faith began to tug at the cellar door, Dawn's eyes were drawn to Giles' invention sitting on the hill, or more importantly, the axe that was attached to it. She grinned, eagerly hopping towards it. By the time Faith noticed, it was too late to stop the little teacup. "Dawn, get away from that thing!" she yelled desperately. "It looks dangerous! B is really gonna kill me."
The mob were now winding their way through the dark forest.
Mob: We don't like what we don't understand
In fact it scares us,
And this monster is mysterious at least!
Bring your gun, bring your knives,
Save your children and your wives,
We'll save our village and our lives!
We'll kill the witch!
The mob cut down a tree to use as a battering ram, then picked it up and continued their march.
Back at the castle, the servants sat around moping in the library.
"We should have known better than to get our hopes up!" said Wesley as he paced back and forth, frustrated.
"I think you're right Wes" Xander sighed sadly. "Maybe it would have been better if she'd never come at all."
"Xander, how could you say that?" Anya gasped. At that moment, Miss Kitty Fantastico the footstool jumped up at the window, mewing loudly.
"What is wrong with that cat?" Wesley frowned.
"Could it be?" said Xander, hardly daring to look.
"Has Tara come back?" said Buffy hopefully. They rushed over to the window, gasping in shock at the approaching mob.
"Intruders!" yelled Xander.
"And they have the magic mirror!" cried Buffy. "They must have used it to find their way here!"
"Somebody warn the Mistress!" ordered Wesley, attempting to take charge of the situation. "If it's a fight they want we'll give them one, who's with me?" The clock recieved no reply, and groaned when he turned to see that the other servants had already rushed off. They all gathered downstairs, prepared to do battle with the mob if need be.
Servants: Hearts ablaze, banners high,
We go marching into battle,
Unafraid although the danger's just increased!
Outside it had begun to rain heavily, though this had unfortunately not deterred the mob. Once they reached the castle, they set upon the door with their battering ram.
"Take all the booty you can carry!" Warren yelled to them. "But remember, the witch is mine!
Mob: Raise the flag, sing the song,
Here we come, we're fifty strong,
And fifty people can't be wrong!
We'll kill the witch!
"Things better get good again soon" Sophie frowned.
AN: After portraying Lorne as a somewhat sympathetic figure in this story, I just couldn't see him joining the mob. I could, however, see him saying something that got him thrown in the cellar with Tara. I also reall y love the little twist I've put on the Dawn running away part by having Faith follow her, don't you?