She can lead you to live
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
She steals like a thief
But she's always a woman to me

She's Always a Woman, Billy Joel

Chapter 4

Avaric leaned against the door frame, a smirk slowly making its way over his face, "Well Fiyero," he said, his voice rich with sarcasm, "you didn't tell me you and Miss Elphaba were courting. Congratulations."

"We're not courting," Elphaba spat, sitting up and wrapping the blanket around herself.

"Oh, my mistake," Avaric's tone was acid, "Whoring then."

"Avaric!" Fiyero exclaimed. He could see Elphaba's back go rigid with anger.

With cat-like grace, she leapt from the bed, taking the blanket with her. She crossed to where Avaric stood smugly, and slapped him hard across the face.

For a long moment, no one spoke. The air between Elphaba and Avaric nearly crackled. Avaric made a point of raking his eyes over her body beneath the blanket. Finally, he said in a slow, even tone, "Fiyero was right. You do know what you're doing."

Elphaba inhaled sharply, pursing her lips together. She took a step toward Avaric, and, as she was nearly his height, looked him in the eyes, "Get out," she ordered.

Avaric laughed, and sidestepped her to flop down on his bed, "I believe this is my room," he jeered.

Elphaba spun on her heels and furiously retrieved her clothes from where she'd dropped them on the floor. She stormed into the washroom and attempted to slam the door. It was somewhat ineffective, as it was a pocket door.

Fiyero let out a long sigh and struggled to get his trousers on without exposing too much of himself, "Really, Avaric? Was that necessary?" he grumbled.

"Maybe I should define 'whore' for you…" Avaric threw out.

Fiyero fixed his roommate with a glare that could cut steel, "You really could leave, you know…"

"As I stated previously, I believe this is my room. Maybe Miss Thropp should take off her clothes in her own room," Avaric sneered.

Elphaba stormed out of the washroom then, her clothes hastily pulled on. She went for the window, to try and throw it open. She jerked it upward just as Fiyero crossed the room to her.

"Elphaba," he started softly, "Fae…" he wasn't sure what he wanted to say, so he put a hand on her shoulder.

She turned to look at him with a mixture of anger and fear etched on her face. Without a word, she swung herself out the window and was gone.

Fiyero let out a long breath and turned around. He crossed back to his bed and dropped onto it, defeated.

"Fae?" Avaric asked with a smirk, breaking the silence.

"Really…don't you have somewhere else you can be?" Fiyero's tone was angry now, laced with frustration.

"Nope."

Fiyero fixed his roommate with a hard glare, and then threw on his shirt. He stuffed his feet into his shoes and left with an echoing slam of the door.

Once Fiyero was gone, Avaric laid there for some time, remembering the sight of Elphaba clutching the blanket. He considered how her naked body had almost been visible beneath. She was clearly female, which he might have debated before this whole business with Fiyero. But she was entirely different than all the other girls he had pursued. Most of them were bouncy and curvy, with full lips and peaches and cream skin. He usually had his way with them, with his typical good looks. However, not nearly as many of them as he liked to admit were willing to go as far as Elphaba and Fiyero had. He embellished his stories, like most of the young men did. It was a cat and mouse game, trying to seduce the pretty, young dancer girls into following him and his buddies into the back rooms of the theater or café. Now, he considered the green girl, and wondered if being with her was as great as Fiyero seemed to think it was.

Could just be inexperience, he thought, Maybe he has no idea what should be going on…

Avaric's curiosity was piqued. He saw Elphaba in a new light, specifically, the flickering lamplight on her bare skin. When she'd slapped him, her hair had been loose, which was unusual, tumbling around her like dark cloud of mystery. She had smelled sensual, like sweat and men's cologne. It was a very different Elphaba than the snide, off-putting girl he'd first met.

He had also stood outside the door just long enough to overhear something regarding the teacher who'd died, Dillamond or something. Elphaba wanted into his office, although Avaric couldn't fathom why. Normally, he couldn't have cared less, but he realized smugly that he might hold a bargaining chip. He might have something Elphaba wanted. And he had realized tonight that she had something he wanted.

Elphaba sprinted across the campus, spurred into a run by her anger and frustration. She wanted to hit something, hard, and perhaps scream a little bit. Avaric was obnoxious on most occasions, but tonight he had been exceedingly vile. She scaled the trellis leading to the ledge just below her and Galinda's window, cursing all the while. She plotted Avaric's demise several times as she climbed, and beneath it all, nursed anger towards Fiyero for having obviously confessed to his roommate about their relationship. If what they had was, indeed, a relationship. Elphaba still wasn't sure, and the idea of figuring it out it gave her a headache.

She managed to force open the heavy window and heave herself inside the room. Just when she thought she'd managed to return safely once again, her foot tangled in the heavy curtains of the window and sent her sprawling, with a loud and ungraceful crash, to the floor. Galinda sat straight up in her bed, her hair in pin curls and her eyes wide.

"Elphaba?" she mumbled, looking a little afraid.

Elphaba cursed under her breath and struggled to free herself from the offending curtain, "I'm fine," she hissed, "Go back to sleep."

Instead, Galinda rubbed her eyes and looked toward the tall, heavy clock in the corner, "Elphie, it's one o'clock in the morning! Did you just climb in the window?"

"Yes. No! What does it matter? Just go back to sleep!" Elphaba was starting to sound panicked.

Galinda considered her roommate. Her clothes were deeply wrinkled, her shoes were untied, and she had her winter shawl on backwards. Her hair, normally so tightly braided or pinned back, was in wild disarray. Galinda sniffed the air, and smelled men's cologne.

"You know," she finally drawled, "that's a unique scent you're wearing. It's not local, is it? It smells more…exotic…like something from the Vinkus…"

Elphaba's eyes widened, and her unadulterated shock gave away her secret.

"I knew it!" Galinda exclaimed, "You've been with him, haven't you! Just the other night, I questioned my own sanity, thinking I saw you climbing into bed near dawn! Elphie!" she raised her hands to her mouth, "How long has this been going on?"

Elphaba pursed her lips and refused to answer. She stomped to her bed and threw back the bedding, kicking off her heavy shoes.

"Elphie! Don't ignore me, it's entirely rude!" Galinda protested.

Elphaba flopped down onto her bed with a huff.

"Elphaba Thropp! If you would stop for just one minute and give me a chance, you might see that I'm willing to be happy for you! I know we got off to a chilly start, but I'm not an altogether spiteful person! I'm glad you've found a relationship, even if it is somewhat…unconventional."

Elphaba sat up, her eyes flashing again, "I have never once told you that I am involved in a relationship!"

Galinda looked dumbfounded, "And whatever is wrong with that? What would you call it?"

"My involvement with Fiyero is part of a greater plan. He and I are merely tools!" Elphaba was shouting now.

Galinda was silent for a moment, looking shocked and then saddened, "So you're…you're using him?"

A strange look flashed over Elphaba's face before she argued, "We're using each other, equally. It's complicated. You couldn't understand."

"And why not?" Galinda looked a bit hurt.

"It's political, controversial. I shouldn't even be speaking of it."

Galinda studied her hands for a moment, considering her perfectly buffed fingernails, "You know," she started softly, "I'm not entirely stupid, Elphie. I did get into this school on my own merit."

Elphaba suddenly looked very tired, and for a moment, Galinda thought she saw the mask of bravado falter. Finally, Elphaba simply said, "We're not in love, Galinda. I know that would make a sweet story for you, but things aren't that simple. He's betrothed, and I know that. I'm not disillusioned. I know my place, my part to play. Fiyero and I want to see change, for the good of Oz. There is nothing more for us than that."

Galinda dared to ask, "Are you sure? Even if he hasn't cracked your heart of steel, are you certain you haven't touched his?"

Elphaba looked deeply surprised for a moment, perhaps at the depth of Galinda's assessment. Her face reset itself almost instantly, though, and she would say no more.

When Galinda realized there would be no more answers, she curled back under her blankets to sleep. She could not, however, shake the deep and unexplainable feeling of sadness she felt for Elphaba.

The following day dawned gray and moist, with a continuous drizzle. A cloud of fog hung over the University like a dirty, discarded blanket. There were no classes this morning, and most students had holed themselves in their rooms, preparing frantically for mid-term examinations, which would take place the following week.

Elphaba slept later than she intended, on account of her late-night endeavors the previous week. When she woke, Galinda was gone, her bed neatly made. Elphaba felt a twinge, recalling their conversation the night before. It was a confusing feeling, somewhere between sadness and anger. She was unsure what she should feel. She would not allow her relationship with Fiyero to be called more than it was. Somehow, Galinda seemed unable to accept that their physical relationship could be more political than romantic.

I need him, Elphaba told herself, He's the other half of an important scheme. We could change the world we know. Like the brush of a butterfly's wings…

She refused to dwell on it further. She had important business today. Elphaba dressed quickly, fastening her hair tightly and making sure her boots were properly laced. Knowing most everyone would be distracted with their upcoming exams, including the professors, she felt she needed to make a move today. She needed to get into Dr. Dillamond's office.

Elphaba made her way across campus, her feet crunching in the layer of frost that remained, because the sun had not emerged to burn it away. She approached the large, main building that housed the University's offices, including that of Madame Morrible. Elphaba scaled the steep staircase and swallowed over the large lump in her throat as she pushed open the heavy door. She padded softly down the corridor and approached the Headmistress' door. She rapped carefully, arranging her features into a look of casual need.

"Miss Elphaba?" Madame Morrible looked a bit surprised, "I would have thought that one of my favored students would be diligently studying today."

"Of course, that was my intention," Elphaba tried to sound nonchalant, "but I have a terrible headache, and hoped you might have some powder to ease the pain so that I can better study."

Morrible looked at her, pursing her lips and clutching the door with claw-like fingers, "Yes," she finally said, "Of course," she gestured for Elphaba to enter.

Elphaba perched carefully on the edge of one of the large chairs where she had sat just days earlier. She watched as Morrible removed a key from a large drawer.

"If you'll wait here, my dear," Morrible instructed, "I'll retrieve something for you from the infirmary."

Elphaba watched carefully as the Headmistress slipped through a side door into small, closet-like room where she kept medicines and a potential abundance of other secrets. She sprung from her chair once Morrible was behind the closed door. She carefully pulled open the largest drawer of the desk and studied its contents.

Inside, the drawer was divided into tiny compartments, each holding a key. They were labeled, allowing her to know which one accessed which door. Elphaba ran her fingers over them quickly, finally coming to a square labeled 'Dillamond'. To her horror, it was empty. She stood there for a moment, shocked, and then carefully shut the drawer. She sprinted back to her seat as Morrible reentered, carrying a small vile of powder.

"This should work quite sufficiently," Madame Morrible drawled, pressing the vile into Elphaba's hand. The older woman held onto the green girl's fingers for a moment, studying her with an unreadable expression. Elphaba felt her face flush with warmth, and she struggled to keep herself from trembling. Finally, Morrible released her and smiled her usual, forced smile.

"Thank you," Elphaba muttered, hoping her quick exit would be attributed to her need to return to her room and resolve the headache.

Outside the building, Elphaba slowed down and kicked at the scrubby grass. She cursed her luck, that the key had already been removed. Now, she would have to resort to actual breaking and entering. She felt a growing sense of dread, because she was far better at arguing, or philosophizing, than lock picking.

She crossed the campus again, this time making her way through the thick grove of trees in front of the life sciences building. Elphaba slipped through the front door, her footsteps echoing in the nearly empty building. At the end of the long, quiet hallway, she approached Dr. Dillamond's office. As expected, she found the door securely locked. She considered the other offices and classrooms on the hallway. The door next to the Doctor's turned out to be a rather cluttered storage closet. Neither the classroom across the hall, nor the nearest office offered access to the room where Dr. Dillamond had conducted his research.

Elphaba grumbled in frustration, and tried not to stomp back down the hall. She slipped around the outside of the building to the corner where the Doctor's office was located. She considered the windows, which were shuttered tightly. They were wide, heavy windows set in an ornate framing that most likely weighed far more than Elphaba could lift on her own. She dug her fingernails into her palms, trying to bite back her intense frustration. She considered simply waiting until dark and then throwing something heavy through one of the windows. However, she felt sure that someone would come running before she had a chance to thoroughly search the office.

Elphaba walked a few paces away and leaned against a large, gnarled tree. She crossed her arms over her chest against the chill and considered her options. For the first time in her life, she wished her childhood had contained something besides an endless parade of Unionist sermons and needy Quadlings. Such a strict, religious upbringing had done little to prepare her for subversive activity. She was lost in her frustration when a voice suddenly startled her.

"Looking for something?"

Elphaba whipped around to see Avaric standing just behind her, lounging against another tree.

"Certainly not for you," she snapped.

"That's a harsh assessment of someone who wants to help you," Avaric drawled.

Elphaba looked as though she were ready to spit, "Help me? I hardly believe that's possible."

"You certainly seem to be helping Fiyero."

Elphaba raised her hand to slap him again, but she stopped short when he held up his hand to block hers. In his hand dangled a large key.

With a smirk, Avaric offered, "I think this is what you've been looking for."

Elphaba crossed her arms over her chest, "I can't imagine how you would have any idea what I'm looking for!"

"The key to Dillamond's office?" he hissed.

Elphaba's eyes widened, but she recovered quickly. "Even if that was something I needed, I cannot believe you expect me to believe that you could possibly have the real key to the Doctor's office."

Avaric stepped closer, so that his breath was warm on Elphaba's face, "I'd be happy to prove it to you," he whispered.

They stood like that for a moment, each unwilling to give in. Finally, Avaric strode across the lawn toward the building's entrance, dangling the key above him. Elphaba clenched her fists and begrudgingly followed, stomping the whole way. Avaric led the way through the doors and down the hall from which Elphaba had just come. He stopped at the door to Dr. Dillamond's office and carefully inserted the key. Very slowly, he pushed open the door.

Elphaba's eyes widened. She was unable to conceal her shock and obvious excitement that, somehow, he did indeed have the real key. She bolted towards the door, hoping to slip past him into the office. Avaric slammed it shut, however, just inches from her face.

Elphaba gasped and Avaric sneered, "Not so fast. You can't have something for nothing, you know. Let's talk about what I want."

Elphaba looked like a feral cat, cornered and angry, "What you want?" she spat.

Avaric chuckled, "Yes, what I want. In exchange for this key."

"And what is that?"

He looked her up and down, his eyes fierce and hungry, "You."

"As what?" Elphaba threw back, "As a slave? Are you so stupid that you need someone to finish your schoolwork for you?"

"I'm far from stupid, Miss Thropp. In fact, I think I'm fairly intelligent. I've managed to procure this key on my own, even if I did have to rely on my somewhat cozy relationship with Madame Morrible. My father is quite a generous donor to this school, if you didn't know. Your headmistress and I meet more often than you realize. The boys are far more willing than the girls to spill what goes on in the shadows, if you know what I mean. Madame finds that information…helpful. I'm also smart enough to know that there's very little you won't do for your…cause?" Avaric smirked as he watched the green girl clench her teeth in anger, "You're different from the others. I've always known that, but it seems Fiyero has discovered that different can be quite…satisfying."

"You wouldn't dare ask…" Elphaba whispered in a low, gravelly voice.

Avaric took a step closer, placing his hands on her shoulders so they were just barely touching, from forehead to toe. He tilted his head to whisper in her ear, "I want you to prove to me that you know what you're doing. I want you in my bed this time."

Elphaba did slap him then, and he was too close to jerk out of her way. He rubbed his cheek, still smiling, "You can do that if you want. Maybe that's part of what makes you so much…fun."

Elphaba turned and stomped a few feet away, letting out a little shriek, "You are a pompous ass! If you think that I would ever…will ever, let you touch me—"

Avaric cut her off, stating, "Think about it. Think about how badly you want this key," he started to saunter down the hall.

"I don't have to think about it!" she shouted, "I'll find my own way!"

"Good luck with that," he tossed over his shoulder, "You seem to have been having excellent luck so far."

Then, he was gone. Elphaba stood still for a moment, seething, and then kicked the door frame, hard. She stomped back to her room then, muttering the entire way and thinking that she might actually have a need for the headache powder now.

The following Monday, Elphaba was doing her best to avoid the doe-eyed looks Fiyero was trying to give her in Life Sciences. She knew he wondered where she had been for the past two days, and she was not in the mood to answer. With Avaric having returned, it seemed far too risky to be climbing in the window he shared with Fiyero. Then, there was the added complication of Avaric's proposition.

I will never, ever let him touch me. He is vile, and disgustingly presumptuous, she told herself. Still, a nagging part of her wanted that key. She wanted it so badly she barely heard Dr. Nikidik's endless droning.

It's for the cause. What you're doing with Fiyero, it's also for the cause. If sleeping with Avaric is what it takes…

She didn't finish the thought, because something inside of her twisted oddly. She felt a little sick, and she couldn't pinpoint exactly why.

"Elphaba? Elphaba?" she finally looked up, realizing the others were filing out of class, and that Fiyero was calling her name. He stood a few seats away, looking concerned.

She quickly gathered her things and shuffled out of class, with Fiyero tailing closely behind.

"Elphaba," he finally stopped her in the hallway, "You seemed…lost, in there."

She heaved a sigh and admitted, "I've been distracted."

He lowered his voice, "Are you angry with me, for telling Avaric about us?"

"No," she snapped, a little harshly, "Do you think I sit around and pine for you?"

Fiyero looked hurt, "You sound as though we're not even friends…"

Elphaba gave him a sharp looked and grabbed his arm. With a quick glance around the deserted hall, she threw open a door and whipped both of them inside. She slammed the door behind her and considered him, stating, "Don't be so whiny! We are friends, we're co-conspirators. I need you. We could very well be the alliance between Munchkinland and the Vinkus."

Fiyero still looked wounded, "And what then, when your mission is complete? We walk away from each other, indifferent?"

"You have your life, with your betrothed."

"And you?"

"There is always work to be done."

Fiyero took a step closer, putting his hands on her arms, "Don't you ever stop working? Don't you ever feel…Fae?"

Elphaba felt her skin bristle, and she was suddenly very aware that they were alone in a small, poorly lit storage closet, "Feelings are messy," she finally choked out.

"No," Fiyero pulled closer, barely brushing his lips over hers, "Espionage is messy. Feelings don't lie, at least not real ones."

Elphaba wanted to give in. She hated the way he made her lose control, but she justified it, deciding that it was ultimately for the cause, "You must understand," she finally whispered, "I will do anything, whatever it takes, for this cause. Can you understand that?"

Fiyero studied her eyes, not sure what she meant. Still, he had very little choice but to answer, "Yes. As long as what you're doing right now…is me."

He lifted her then, finding her much lighter than he expected, and pressed her back against the shelving. They made love in the murky lighting, finding each other's bodies underneath their clothes. She wrapped her legs around him, clinging to the rickety shelving for support.

When it was through, Elphaba kissed him hungrily and then bolted from the closet without another word. Fiyero stood there, disheveled and spent, and harboring a growing feeling that he'd entered a vortex from which there was no escape. He had no idea where it was leading and, deep inside, he feared there was no light at the end of this tunnel.