She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
But she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me

She's Always a Woman, Billy Joel

Chapter 6

That evening, at the conclusion of the dinner hour, Fiyero returned to his suite. He had more than a little studying to do, and the rain had done little to lift his spirits about it. He shuffled through the door and kicked off his water-logged shoes. Avaric was sprawled on his bed, rolling cigarettes.

"You know you're not supposed to have that in here," Fiyero commented flatly.

"And?" Avaric asked.

"It's not as though we can open a window to air this place out," Fiyero argued.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure I don't cause any of your fancy, prince clothes to smell like working-class tobacco," Avaric jeered.

"I'm sure it's not working-class, oh future Margreave of Tenmeadows," Fiyero scoffed.

Avaric sighed, "Now you've gone and taken the fun out of it, anyway."

"You missed dinner," Fiyero commented as he hung up his coat.

"It was worth it."

Fiyero turned and considered his roommate, who was lounging in visibly wrinkled clothes on a disheveled and unmade bed. Avaric's antics usually failed to surprise him anymore, but something felt slightly off. Fiyero couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. He sensed a presence, or perhaps just a charge in the air that felt wrong, somehow. He shook his head, trying to clear the strange feeling.

"Avaric, if you've had a girl in here, I'm sure I don't want to hear about it," he grumbled.

"Oh, but maybe you do…" Avaric smirked, behaving more obnoxiously than usual.

"Really, no," Fiyero argued, picking up several books and carrying them into the sitting room. It was the one great benefit of having a suite, to be able to be a room away from Avaric, if necessary.

He hadn't been studying five minutes, when Avaric sauntered in with a now-lit cigarette, saying, "So…"

"What?" Fiyero looked up, annoyed.

"So, how are things with Miss Elphaba?" Avaric drawled.

"Fine. The same. Why do you care?" Fiyero looked up, exasperated.

"Just hoping you haven't managed to screw up your first friend with benefits," Avaric leaned against the door frame, smirking.

Fiyero felt his face flush with anger, and he leveled Avaric with a cold glare, "Get out. Now," he ordered.

Avaric took a long drag off the cigarette, and then puffed the smoke back out in Fiyero's direction, "Tell Elphaba I said hello," he threw out with a smirk before sauntering back to the bedroom.

Fiyero grit his teeth, wishing more than ever that perhaps Avaric would lose interest in school, or flunk out, before spring semester.

The following afternoon, Elphaba dropped her books on her bed and decided she needed a walk. She had slugged through two midterm exams that morning, and was pleased, but exhausted. She wrapped a shawl around her shoulders and cut across campus to the pond just beyond the wooded area that bordered the University. It was hard to tell, here, that the school sat in the midst of a rather large, bustling town. The water rippled silently in the crisp, autumn breeze, and Elphaba studied the trees, reflected upside down in its glassy surface. She sat on the sparse grass and tucked her knees up to her chest.

Elphaba, what are you doing?

The thought came to her suddenly, as though the events of the past few weeks had finally caught up to her, and demanded justification. She was a little overwhelmed at her boldness, at her own blind determination. She couldn't see the future, and she had no idea if the revolution she hoped for could ever be realized. Elphaba knew she wanted to accomplish something, but she'd had very few role models in the area of setting and reaching goals. Her father had spun aimlessly in life, repeating the same tactics over and over, and yet hoping each time to see a different outcome. And her mother…

Elphaba thought back to her last memories of her mother, lying in bed, half out of her mind. Melena had never been tamed, not even as a mother of three children. She slept with whom she chose and made no secret of her indiscretions. Elphaba realized now that it was her mother's total lack of secrecy that had afforded her the very real, uncensored view that she had of sex. Her mother dispensed lovemaking advice in her stupors as easily as she sang nursery rhymes, even to a ten year-old child. The children had, on many occasions, stumbled in on their mother twisted around someone or other. It was the one, great sin that Frex had been unable to shield his children from.

Elphaba had spent so much time resenting her mother, both for her lack of attention and for up and dying on her, she had never considered how similar they might have been. Clearly, Nessarose had inherited the prudish, religious fervor of their father. Perhaps Elphaba, who had always considered herself unlike most humans, was a great deal more like Melena than she'd ever known.

They said, if I favored anyone, it was her, Elphaba remembered. She supposed it was something, if a bit of a strange something, to thank her mother for. Like her mother, she was not shy, withdrawn, or the least bit afraid of taking what she needed. Elphaba loved and hated in equal measure and with equal passion. She wondered, now, what Melena might have done with her life if she hadn't been quite so addicted to liquor and opiates.

Melena would have slept with Avaric, Elphaba told herself.

She knew it was true. Yet she also knew that Melena would have done it simply out a lack of ability to tie herself to one man. Elphaba's energies were more focused. She was doing what had to be done, because she needed that key. It was the sole focus of her efforts now, and she determined she would get it from Avaric if she had to claw it from his self-indulgent hands. But then, she also needed Fiyero. Fiyero was another type of key. An alliance with him could turn Oz upside down, in time.

But do you have to keep sleeping with him? a tiny voice suddenly questioned, You made your point, you've changed each others destiny already, in a way. Couldn't you simply work together now?

Elphaba heard the logic in it, but she pushed it away, convincing herself that by sleeping with Fiyero, she had him hooked so that he could not easily walk away.

It's necessary, she told herself, I need to know how committed he is…

In the quiet, fading daylight, Elphaba suddenly flashed back to Avaric. She could feel his hands on her, feel his weight, and sense his utter lack of concern for her body or soul. She wondered, with a twist in her gut, if when it was all said and done, Fiyero would remember her the same way.

For the next week, Elphaba visited Avaric every other day, and with each encounter, grew angrier. She was coming to the end of her patience, and had begun to fear that Avaric never had any intention of giving her the key. It confused her, because he'd gone to the trouble of stealing it, knowing she wanted it. She had hoped that, given enough time, he would simply grow tired of this game, or tire of her. She had obviously underestimated the robust nature of the male libido.

Elphaba lay in bed at night and agonized over how to turn things in her favor. She supposed she could try and steal the key, but that would involve breaking into the men's dormitory. That was a far riskier venture than breaking into an office. She had considered plying Fiyero into retrieving it for her, but he was certain to begin asking far too many questions. He would also most certainly question Avaric, and Avaric couldn't be trusted to keep his mouth shut. She thought of simply taking it, while visiting Fiyero. However, she knew that if the key disappeared, Avaric would know how and why, and he would certainly ruin her chances of maintaining a relationship with Fiyero.

She tossed and turned through each night, sleeping fitfully and barely making it through the remainder of her exams. By the following Friday, Elphaba was exhausted.

That night, she fell asleep while Galinda was still out socializing. The next morning, she woke to bright, buttery sunshine, with an envelope stuck under her pillow. Elphaba pulled it out, yawning and stretching as she tore it open. It was from Fiyero, who must have sent it home with Galinda.

Please meet me by the pond today. One o'clock. In the afternoon. Don't laugh at the clarification. I know what a night-owl you are. Please.

Fiyero

Elphaba considered it, wondering what he wanted, and then fearing that maybe he didn't want anything. It scared her, to think he was doting on her much. She considered asking Galinda, but her roommate was snoring quietly under her quilts. Thinking, Elphaba folded the paper and decided it would be a good morning for a bath.

Crage Hall was fortunate enough to have a fairly modern water closet for each floor, with a bathtub to be shared by those who were willing to haul and heat the water. It took Elphaba a solid hour, but it was worth it. She lounged until the water was cold, enjoying the clean feeling from her one decent brick of soap. Finally, she gave her hair a good scrubbing and pitched out the water. She then dressed and braided her hair back.

She felt worlds better, at that point, and was in good spirits as she swiped an apple from her personal stash. Elphaba made her way across campus, enjoying the solitude brought on by the fact that most students would sleep through lunch that day. She found Fiyero at the edge the pond, near the place where she had sat a week ago. He stood to greet her, looking overly happy that morning.

"You came," he said softly, taking her hands.

"Of course I came. You asked me to," Elphaba snapped.

Fiyero looked hurt, but simply added, "I wasn't sure that you would…"

"What did you want?" she asked.

This time, Fiyero looked as though she'd slapped him, "I thought…well, I brought food. I thought we could have lunch…"

Elphaba considered him, and then noticed the basket he'd brought, "You just wanted me to eat with you? Like a picnic?" she sounded incredulous.

"Well, yes. Only it didn't sound so preposterous and embarrassing in my head," Fiyero sighed.

Elphaba softened a little, "I'm sorry, I just…thought it was something important."

Fiyero's eyes darkened, "Don't you ever do anything just…because? Have you never had someone in your life just because you appreciate that person?"

Elphaba took a step back, "Fiyero, I have told you—"

He cut her off, "Elphaba, I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm asking you to eat lunch with me. Don't you have room in your life for one real friend? Can't we be friends, as well as conspirators?"

She considered the idea, and considered him. Elphaba was afraid to let him care, because she knew he would get hurt. Still, his smile was contagious. And he had said 'friend' and not 'lover'. She gave in and sat down, examining what he had in the basket.

They devoured the food, neither one of them having had breakfast. It was good, Elphaba had to admit. Fiyero had found some decent pasta, with salad, and strawberries that were quite fresh, for being out of season. She appreciated him remembering her uneasiness about eating meat. Afterward, they stared at the water, which was calm that day, and talked.

"So, what of our next year and a half, here at Shiz? What is your great plan for us now?" Fiyero asked.

"We keep an eye on Morrible, and refuse to be swayed by her methodology. We study politics, because it's a messy business. We continue to defend the Animals, to protest if we must. We let everyone know where we stand."

"And afterward, when real life begins?"

"Then starts the hard part."

Fiyero furrowed his brow, "All that stuff you said isn't the hard part?"

Elphaba let out a long sigh, "No, this is the beginning. Revolution starts small, but it's not easy. Our ancestors already tried once and failed. I cannot fail," she said the last part to herself, with a conviction that Fiyero found a little frightening.

"None of this sounds like an easy life," he mused, "What makes you believe I have the conviction to stick it out?"

Elphaba smirked, "That's why I'm sleeping with you, to keep you coming back."

Fiyero chuckled, but deep down was afraid she was right, "And what about once I marry my bride-to-be? How do you know she won't keep me…occupied?"

Elphaba quirked up an eyebrow and said, "She'll bore you."

"And you're so sure of that?" Fiyero questioned.

Elphaba felt a twinge of fear, considering for the first time what might happen once he was out of her sight. She wondered if she had a tight enough hold on him after all. So she pulled him to her then, to kiss him deeply, as if to convince him that no one could meet his needs like she could. Fiyero did not protest, pulling her down onto the soft grass.

Today, Elphaba let herself fall into him, to relish the tenderness with which he touched her. She had taken him for granted before, she realized. Fiyero, in spite of his inexperience, was a great lover because he focused on her. He watched her eyes, and felt the way she moved beneath him. He was empathetic, and drew his pleasure from hers.

Elphaba looked up at him as he made love to her, seeing how his eyes studied hers, how he kissed her gently and matched the rhythm of his body to her own. Something ached and flushed within her, something more than just the rush of sexual energy. Elphaba was afraid of it, afraid to give the feeling a name. She was afraid of what it meant.

He's not yours, she told herself, and then shut out her thoughts as she surrendered to power of being with him.

Afterward, Fiyero pulled her close and kissed her. He held onto her, and this time, she let him. She could usually do without the snuggling, but today, she felt frozen in his arms. As the hazy glow of lovemaking subsided, Elphaba began to feel a deep, heaviness within her. Images of Avaric and their repeated encounters nagged her, and she felt sick, imagining Fiyero's reaction if he knew.

If he knew this body has been Avaric's too, many times. If he knew someone else has touched this skin…

It was a bit poetic for her, as thoughts go, but she couldn't stop her jumbled stream of consciousness. She worked to convince herself it was because she needed Fiyero, for her plan, that she was so tormented.

If it's merely conspiracy, should be enjoying it so much? The thought suddenly hit her, and Elphaba pushed it away. She was a woman, after all. Who wouldn't enjoy Fiyero?

They stayed at the pond the remainder of the day, snacking on the basket of food and walking around the water's edge. They talked, they argued a little, and Elphaba let him make love to her again.

For the cause, she told herself, and tried to believe that it was true.

The following day, Fiyero went into town to send some correspondence to his family, and Elphaba took advantage of his absence. Wrapped in a winter shroud to ward off the sudden change of weather, she crossed the campus and rapped on Avaric's window. In a stroke of luck, he appeared and pushed the window up for her.

"Well," Avaric looked smug as she swung herself inside, "Am I so appealing that you're making unscheduled visits now?"

Elphaba rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, "Don't flatter yourself. I've come for the key, now. You've gotten more than your share out of this deal. I want what you promised me."

Avaric's eyes darkened, "Obviously you've forgotten who makes the rules in this game."

"Game?" Elphaba snapped in disbelief.

"Is there something else you'd like to call it?" Avaric sneered.

"The reason I need that key is absolutely not a game! I do not have time for frivolous games! And I am running out of patience with your disgusting behavior—"

"Elphaba!" Avaric cut her off, chuckling, "You really are too much fun! It's so refreshing to be with someone who makes it so interesting…"

Elphaba stepped forward and hissed into his face, "You have yet to see interesting! Give me the key!"

Avaric licked his lips and leered at her, "Come back in three days," he offered, "and make it worth my time."

Elphaba grit her teeth and fought the urge to punch him in his smug smile. Part of her wanted to spit at him and refuse, but the greater part of her wanted an easy way into Dr. Dillamond's office. Though she was struggling to hang onto the idea that this was all worth it, in the end.

She stomped toward the window and threw back, "Three days. But this is your absolute last chance. Give me the key, or I'll find my own way."

Elphaba swung out the window without another glance.

That evening, as the sun faded into muted twilight, Elphaba paced back and forth across her room. She had lit the fire, to take the chill out of the air, and she wrung her hands as she walked. She had been unsettled all day, since speaking with Avaric. She was seething with pent up anger, and had to work diligently to keep from clawing his eyes out.

If she could think of any other way, any other solution to her dilemma, she would forsake the key and cut her losses. The worst she would be left with was the disgusting memory of having slept with Avaric. However, she could come up with no other option for finding out what she wanted to know. And Elphaba was determined there was something in the Doctor's office that mattered greatly.

She was still pacing when Galinda returned. The blonde was dressed up slightly, for Sunday evening dinner. She removed her gloves and jewelry, and kicked off her shoes. She was running her fingers through her hair when she noticed her roommate's erratic behavior.

"Elphie? Are you okay?" Galinda asked softly.

Elphaba finally stopped and stared at Galinda, "Yes. No…I'm not sure…" she sputtered.

Galinda frowned, "Is it Fiyero? Is he behaving crossly? Boys can be so very boorish, sometimes."

Elphaba sighed, "No, and it wouldn't matter. He can behave any way he wants as long as he sticks to our plan. No…I just…I think I need your help."

"Me?" Galinda squeaked with a shocked expression.

"Yes, you. I need…well, are you on good terms with Master Avaric?"

"Avaric? From Gillikin? Everyone knows Avaric. He's quite handsome," Galinda observed, but didn't seem quite as taken with him as some of the other girls.

"Yes, I suppose he is," Elphaba conceded through clenched teeth, "I need you to…distract him…"

"What? When? Is he bothering you?" Galinda looked genuinely concerned.

"No!" Elphaba snapped a touch too harshly, "No…he has something I want, and I need him to lose interest in keeping it from me."

"Why is he keeping it from you? And what is it? Elphie…it's not something…contraband, is it?" Galinda's eyes widened in fear.

"Heavens no! Well, not exactly…" Elphaba chewed her lip, finding the situation very hard to explain.

"I'm afraid I don't understand. What do you want me to do?" Galinda looked genuinely perplexed.

Elphaba crossed the room and sat next to her on her bed, "Just…flirt with him. Make him think you're interested. Capture his attention, for a time."

"Elphie! I am not at this school to pursue boys! Besides, I come from entirely too good of a family to be shamelessly flirting!"

"Oh please! I see you and Pfannee and Shenshen flirting like mad at the café!" Elphaba argued.

Galinda inhaled sharply and fluttered her hands, "We do not flirt! We banter, because the boys are sweet to us! Someday, they'll pursue one of us for our hand in marriage. We must build a rapport, but we do not flirt!"

Elphaba scoffed, "Flirting is flirting! Besides, I've never judged you for it! I just need Avaric's attention to be…elsewhere."

Galinda stopped for a moment, looking thoughtful, "And where is his attention now?" she asked.

Elphaba suddenly looked as though she'd swallowed a lemon, "He's a bit stuck on me," she choked out, "and it's becoming…trying."

"Does he not know about Fiyero?" Galinda asked.

"I have told you, Fiyero and I are not courting."

"So you say," Galinda teased, "but I say differently. Avaric can be a brute, but I would think he would give up if he knew Fiyero was involved."

"I'm not so sure," Elphaba mumbled, "Can't you just, flutter your eyes at him and see if he'll swoon a little? I'm tired of…"

"Tired of what?" Galinda looked worried now, "Is he truly bothering you?"

"You could call it that. He has something I want, something I need. And I'll never get it as long as he's focused on me."

"What is it?" Galinda's eyes were wider, and bluer, than seemed possible.

"I can't tell you. I don't want you involved."

"But now you've involved me," Galinda pouted, "And I think I deserve to know what game I'm playing."

Elphaba let out a long, slow breath, "Avaric's playing games with me, over something I very much need. I won't tell you what it is. I need you to have plausible deniability."

"What? Nevermind…what games?"

"Can't you just do this, for me? Without knowing all the details?" Elphaba pleaded.

Galinda shook her head, her curls bouncing and her eyes wide, "I know you, Elphie. And I don't want to be involved in scandal. Changing the world is your mission, not mine."

"Maybe it could be ours," Elphaba threw out, a tad bitterly.

Galinda ignored her and asked, "How is Avaric bothering you?"

Elphaba sat very still for a moment, struggling with what to say. Finally, she decided she could not possibly make this worse, and she needed Galinda.

"He's…using me. I've been sleeping with him in hopes of getting something from him," Elphaba explained, looking away as she let the truth spill out.

Galinda's mouth dropped open and, for a long time, she said no words. Finally, when she could close her mouth, she simply shook her head.

"Elphie," she brought her hands to her mouth, "what are you doing? Surely you don't want to be expelled?"

"No, you loon! I want…what Avaric has! I need it! And I need your help!"

"No!" Galinda was suddenly angry, which was odd for her, "You're behavior is entirely inappropriate! I cannot be associated with any of this! I want this education! I need this school! For my future!"

"So you can be a pawn for the Wizard! So you can help enslave those who aren't given a voice to protest!"

"Elphaba, not everyone in this world is so bad! Not everyone is out to get you and ruin the lives of others! Maybe the Wizard is not entirely responsible for what's going on! Maybe you don't even know all the details! You're so busy being angry at the world, that you never enjoy it!"

"I'm sorry if things matter to me, Galinda! I'm sorry if I don't want to spend my life as a high-society creampuff. I am not a prize, or a decoration to hang on someone's arm! I see injustice, and I have to do something! You might find that you care, too, if you would use what's inside that pretty head!"

Galinda shook with anger, "And perhaps I'm not interested in becoming one of your secret missionaries! Excuse me for wanting a decent life! I never asked to be pulled into your circle of lunacy! I never asked to board with the official whore of Shiz University!"

After Galinda had shouted the words, there was a long, thick silence. Elphaba trembled, her face set somewhere between anger and devastation. She stood up and walked a few steps away before crossing back to Galinda's bed.

The blonde looked suddenly remorseful, "Oh Elphie…" she started.

Elphaba looked as though she might say something but, instead, slapped Galinda hard across the face.

Galinda gasped and brought her hands to her face. Before she could respond, Elphaba was gone. The echoing slam of the door shook the walls, like thunder before a storm.