I hear the ticking of the clock,
I'm lying here the room's pitch dark.
I wonder where you are tonight,
No answer on the telephone.
And the night goes by so very slow,
Oh I hope that it won't end though,
Alone.

Till now, I always got by on my own.
I never really cared until I met you,
And now it chills me to the bone.
How do I get you alone?
How do I get you alone?

Alone, Kristin Chenoweth, Matthew Morrison

Chapter 9

The following Friday, Galinda went to the café, having somewhat reluctantly accepted an invitation from Shenshen and Milla. She sighed heavily as she pulled her heavy winter cloak around her slender frame. She surprised herself a little, at her lack of enthusiasm. She used to live for these outings, for the chance to enhance her social influence. Tonight, though, Galinda was less than excited, at best. Elphaba had chosen to stay in the room, citing her still aching body as an excuse.

I'll have some tea and a bit of pain powder. I'm in no condition for frivolity and I would be abysmal company, Elphaba had insisted.

Still, Galinda hated leaving her alone. She surprised even herself, realizing she would much rather spend the evening alone with her roommate than making small talk with her silly friends.

She made the long walk slowly, kicking at the crusty snow with her delicate boots. She finally slipped through the café door, chilled to the bone. She shook the snow from her cloak before hanging it delicately on a hook just inside the door. She quickly spotted Milla and Shenshen, crowded into a booth with Avaric. They batted their eyelashes and giggled in little dainty fits over him. Galinda swallowed hard, certain she could not sit and banter with Avaric. Even knowing only a fraction of the story, he nauseated her, and she could only think of Elphie.

Galinda scanned the room, her eyes finally resting on a table in the corner where Boq, Crope, Tibbett, and even Nessarose were gathered. Nanny nursed a glass of wine nearby, and Fiyero sat in the shadowy corner, looking quite miserable. She approached them, hoping Milla and Shenshen would be too occupied to notice her arrival.

Galinda gave Boq a tiny smile and asked, "May I join you?"

The munchkin almost tripped over himself trying to pull out a chair for her. She was genuinely grateful this time, and felt a touch badly for having ignored him so thoroughly before, "Thank you, Master Boq."

"You're quite welcome. We're glad you came. But where is Elphie?" he asked with genuine concern.

"She wasn't feeling well and decided to get some rest," Galinda explained, hoping there would be no further questions.

"Well, I'm certainly glad you've come. I couldn't sit alone much longer with these boys. Leave it to Elphaba to forget all about me. She's been very reclusive lately. She hardly visits me anymore. And she gallivants around without Nanny. These past few weeks, I feel like I hardly know her," Nessa commented with a dainty sniff. It was amazing, how she could still sound so self-serving while expressing concern for her sister.

"She looked as though she were in pain in Life Sciences. She mumbled something about stairs," Boq added.

Galinda struggled with what to say. She had no idea what her roommate wanted revealed. She glanced toward Fiyero, who sat in the corner drinking wine from a mug. His eyes were dark, and he refused to meet Galinda's gaze, even though he could certainly hear the conversation. Finally, she choked out, "I believe she fell down the stairs. She's terribly embarrassed about it. I think we should leave her be."

"Well, give her our best," Boq offered graciously, "She's missing quite a good time. And quite a good bottle of wine."

Galinda smiled tightly. She let them twitter around her for some time after she accepted a small glass of wine. The conversation seemed quite frivolous tonight. She almost missed their wide-eyed discussions over Doctor Dillamond's death. The tragedy and harsh reality of it all had somehow brought them closer together. It was a nice, if unusual, bond.

Galinda felt like they had fractured as a group over the past few weeks, and she wondered if Elphaba might've been the glue that kept them together. Thinking of Elphie, she couldn't help but watch Fiyero, who clutched his mug and didn't offer so much as a smile. He looked far away, as though he'd wandered into the café by accident.

Galinda thought over the events of the past few days once again. Clearly, something had upset Fiyero. He had been sullen and moody for a week now. And then there was Avaric, who had been particularly obnoxious recently. He had certainly not denied throwing Elphaba across the room, as Fiyero had accused. She wondered what in all Oz might have transpired to cause him to behave that way. It frightened her, to think that he might be harboring such a horrendous temper beneath his playboy exterior. Of course, the entire matter scared her, truth be told. She never expected to become wound up in such a dangerous and dramatic series of events. It was only Elphie that kept her from fleeing the entire scenario. There was something about Elphie that Galinda was driven to protect.

Galinda sipped from her glass, wondering how someone as smart and prickly as Elphaba could stoop so low as to sleep with someone like Avaric. Whatever he had must have been terribly valuable. She wondered if Fiyero was so angry because it had turned out to be a lost cause. She thought back to their conversation in the dining hall a week prior. Suddenly, a flash of realization struck her.

Perhaps Fiyero didn't know about Avaric…

Galinda froze for a moment, wondering. She felt a little sick. Surely Elphaba would not have kept something like that from Fiyero. From everything her roommate had implied, Galinda had assumed she and Fiyero were conspiring together. She didn't assume to understand the rules to this game Elphaba was playing, but she hoped Elphie hadn't lied to Fiyero. If he was involved in some sort of espionage, Galinda believed he deserved to know all the details of what he was getting into. The idea also made her sad, because if Elphaba had lied to Fiyero, then she was certainly just using him. Galinda had held out a little hope that her roommate might actually care for him.

Just then, Galinda's attention was pulled from her reverie by shrill laughter. She turned to see Avaric making his way towards the table with Milla on one arm and Shenshen on the other. He approached the table, smirking and laughing with the girls.

"Miss Galinda," he addressed her, "we didn't see you come in. We would've asked you to join us."

Galinda made an effort to smile, "It's quite all right. You looked crowded, and Boq offered me a seat…"

Boq beamed, looking thrilled just to be mentioned.

"We would've made a place for you, Glinny," Shenshen pouted.

"Yes…we would never send you to sit with these boorish boys!" Milla snorted daintily and fluttered her hands.

"Boorish?" Boq squeaked, looking angry and a little afraid. Crope and Tibbett dissolved into laughter together, making mocking comments and throwing out the word boorish.

Nessa sniffed again, looking appropriately offended that she had been grouped together with the lot of boys. She didn't comment, however, most likely because she still considered it quite pretentious to argue with a man.

Avaric's smirk spread into a smile as he offered, "Milla's right. We never would've left you over here with a munchkin and a Winkie. They'll either bore you to death, or perhaps frighten you with some uncivilized, tribal dance," he gave Fiyero a pointed stare.

Galinda caught her breath as Fiyero looked up from his mug.

"Don't start, Avaric," he grumbled from the corner.

"Oh, now I'm only teasing you in good humor! You're not opposed to a little humor, are you Master Fiyero?" Avaric's tone was laced with sarcasm.

"I'm not in the mood," Fiyero mumbled.

"Well then, Miss Galinda, can we show you to a better time at our table?" Avaric reached for her hand with a cavalier smirk.

Galinda instinctively pulled away, while trying to maintain an attitude of casual indifference, "Actually, I'm not feeling so well this evening. I wanted to come, but…I think I'll go home…"

Boq was on his feet in a heartbeat, offering his arm, "I'd be happy to see you as far as the gate to Crage Hall, Miss Galinda."

She normally refused, but tonight even Boq seemed better company than walking alone in the dark. Something about Avaric still scared her, and Galinda didn't want him to have the chance to find her alone.

"I would appreciate that," she whispered, gathering her purse.

"Too bad," Milla threw after them, "Avaric has promised us a ravishing good time."

Shenshen giggled and Galinda just nodded, trying her best to give a neutral smile. She let Boq take her elbow, retrieve her coat, and escort her carefully out of the café. They walked most of the way in silence, which she appreciated.

When they finally approached the gate, Boq offered, "I hope you're well tomorrow. Hopefully, you're not coming down with whatever is plaguing Miss Elphie."

Galinda gave him a genuine smile, "I appreciate your sentiment, although I don't think what Elphie has is catching…"

"Well, tell her I hope she's well soon. We miss her at the café. She really does make it worthwhile."

Galinda considered him, seeing the genuine kindness in his eyes, "I'll tell her that, Boq. You're a good man, for a munchkin," she leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek, as a thank you.

Boq gave a little bow, beaming, and then trotted away.

By the time Galinda made it back to her room, she was chilled through. She shook out her cloak and knelt by the fire, to warm her hands and feet. Elphie sat on her bed, reading by lamplight.

She looked up and asked, "Did you have a pleasant time? It's still early…"

Galinda sighed, "I suppose. Avaric was there and he makes me uneasy. He's quite handsome, as the girls say, but he can be so obnoxious…"

"He's a disgusting, selfish boar!" Elphie snapped before she could catch herself.

Galinda turned, a little shocked, and studied her roommate. She fought with herself for a moment, but finally dared to ask, "Elphie, did he…did he throw you across a room?"

"Who told you that?" Elphaba was suddenly defensive.

Galinda swallowed, "Fiyero. Indirectly. He accused Avaric of…of throwing you."

"And when were the three of you discussing me?" Elphaba looked annoyed.

"We weren't. Don't get yourself in a pinch. I simply approached to ask why neither of them seemed to care about your injury. After all, you implied they were involved!"

"Galinda," Elphaba sighed, "this is a mess you're better off leaving alone. It will only make trouble for you."

Galinda stood, a little angry now, "Elphie, you're sitting here with three broken ribs! And you want me to pretend that's okay? I may be a little fluffy for your taste, but I do believe the premise of friendship is to share things with one another! And to care about what happens to each other!"

Elphaba was silent, considering the tiny, less-than-imposing blonde. Galinda's hands were on her hips, her lip stuck out in a pout. She looked a bit silly, but still, she cared. Elphaba gave in, perhaps from fatigue or just the weight of carrying so many secrets.

"Yes," she admitted flatly, "Avaric threw me."

Galinda gasped, crossing to perch on Elphaba's bed.

"But I don't think it was intentional," Elphaba added quickly.

"How does one accidentally throw someone across the room?" Galinda huffed.

Elphaba closed her book, giving up on it for the evening, "He was defending himself. I…jumped at him first, because I was angry."

"You attacked him?" Galinda looked appalled.

"I suppose. I was very angry. He sort of…flung me away from him. It was just a messy accident. Avaric's a pig, but he's not dangerous. He's too lazy to be dangerous," Elphaba spat.

Galinda's eyes were wide, like a child hearing their first campfire story about ghosts and witches. She took a breath and asked, "Elphie…does Fiyero know? About Avaric? Was he part of the plan?"

Elphaba's face twitched, as though she were hovering between fear and anger. She grit her teeth and asked, "Why?"

"Well…Fiyero just seems…moodified. He seems so…angry, with you."

"Moodified?" Elphaba asked with a quirk of her eyebrow.

"Is that not a word? There's just far too many of them to keep myself accurate. Father used to say it was endearing. But Elphie…does Fiyero know?"

"Yes," Elphaba answered tightly.

"Did he know…before?" Galinda breathed.

"Is there any other way, besides me telling this story, that will make you go to bed and leave me in peace?"

Galinda looked hurt, "Elphie, I am trying to be your friend. I keeping tell you that. Have you never had a friend?"

Elphaba studied her hands for a long moment, and then looked into Galinda's wide, cerulean eyes. Her expression softened and, avoiding the question, she admitted, "Fiyero didn't know about Avaric until he walked in and found us…together. He was very angry, and I think hurt. And Avaric, with his immeasurable tact, also let both of us know he no longer had what I wanted. So I…jumped at him."

Galinda just nodded, chewing her lip, "So that is what's gotten both of them into such a foul state…"

"Yes…" Elphaba confirmed, looking far away. A long moment passed when neither of them spoke. Galinda studied her hands, and watched Elphaba stare out the window, pensive.

"Elphie, what will you do now? How will you salvage your great revolution?"

Elphaba was silent, thinking. When she finally answered, her voice was low and quiet, "I need Fiyero. We must work together. I have to find a way to get him to look past the emotional mess of it all and see the greater picture. We need an alliance between us, between our families. As for Avaric, good riddance. I should've known he can't be trusted. I'll not make that mistake again. What I need, I will get for myself."

Galinda nodded, trying to sort it all out, "And what good will this alliance do? Why does it matter?"

Perhaps because Galinda sounded so sincere, and had never before expressed any real interest in her plans, Elphaba began to explain to her what she hoped to accomplish. She told her about what she'd discovered in the library, and what Dr. Dillamond had been studying regarding the Animals. She talked animatedly with her hands about the possible hidden water sources in the Vinkus, and what controlling Restwater could mean for the south.

They stayed up well into the night, until Galinda was yawning and bleary-eyed. She fought sleep, though, because Elphaba was so mesmerizing in the firelight. She made espionage and political alliances sound alluring and entirely possible. Galinda found herself leaning in, trying to absorb it all, and trying to catch some of Elphie's enthusiasm and raw, unadulterated passion. She even began to wish that Fiyero would come around, for Elphaba's sake. Galinda believed that, if anyone could change the world, Elphie could.

She reached out at some point, while Elphaba was talking, and grasped the green girl's hand. Elphaba, either out of gratitude or distraction, did not pull away.

Elphaba looked for an opportunity to speak with Fiyero over the next several days. She tried to catch him after Life Sciences, or as he walked the snow-crusted paths toward Briscoe Hall and the libraries. He eluded her, however, and she was now certain he was deliberately avoiding her.

So she entered the dining hall the following Thursday feeling somewhat hollow and frustrated. Her plan appeared to have derailed drastically, and she was desperate to do something to put herself back on track.

That evening, she spotted Fiyero sitting alone at a corner table, and leapt at the opportunity. Before getting her meal or even checking the menu, she plopped herself down in the chair across from him.

He looked up, startled, and then furrowed his brow, "I don't think we should do this here," was all he offered.

"Fiyero," she started, "I think we should talk. There's still so much to be done. You and I, we're still so important."

"Let's be very clear about something," Fiyero inserted coldly, "There is no 'you and I'. There obviously never was, and there certainly isn't now."

Elphaba took a breath and tried again, "I never presumed a romantic relationship between us, not before or now. But we still have so much we can accomplish!"

Fiyero dropped his silverware and rubbed his eyes, "Elphaba, do you not have any understanding as to how relationships of any kind work?"

"I understand that a relationship implies each party needs something from the other. I know a relationship should be mutually beneficial."

"Well then, since I will obviously never get what I needed from you, I believe we have no further relationship. We're done," Fiyero told her sharply.

Elphaba was surprised at the stab in her chest. She plowed forward, though, saying, "No, we still need much from each other. Oz needs much from us, and that is more important that our feelings. You and I represent an important alliance, and the chances are slim that I will find anyone else from the Vinkus who's willing to work with me!"

Fiyero gripped the table, trying to control his emotions, "Elphaba, I don't believe that saving all of Oz by trampling on the feelings of others is worth the cost. If you have to treat people the way you treated me in order to save your Animals, then we're all better off with our current sufferings."

Elphaba sighed, twisting her hands together, "I agree. Perhaps I should not have kept Avaric from you. But I told you I had to do whatever it takes!"

"Some things have to remain sacred, Elphaba! Some things, like intimacy and bearing one's soul before someone you trust entirely, those things shouldn't be sacrificed! No matter how good your intentions, some things should never be compromised! I was a fool to think, underneath your hard exterior, you had a heart! I won't be that foolish again."

Elphaba looked momentarily shaken, but recovered, "Then I apologize for your suffering, but can we not put it aside and move on? Don't make love to me again. I understand. But please help me!" her eyes were dark and pleading now.

Fiyero looked at her with a haunted, bitter expression and said, "Making love implies there was love to start with. Apparently, that was never the case. I want no part in your method of changing the world."

With that, he stood and left her there. She dug her fingernails into the table, feeling the last tendrils of hope for her great plan slipping through her grasp.

That night, Elphaba could not sleep. She lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to choose the best course of action. She could not sit back and let the world spin around her, allowing those in power to abuse their influence. She desperately believed Doctor Dillamond had died for discovering something vitally important, for being on the cusp of changing what Oz knew of Animals. Elphaba weighed in her mind what his research was worth. Was it worth her education, should she be expelled? Was it worth her life?

Finally, realizing she was not going to get any sleep, Elphaba threw back her covers in exasperation. She paced erratically for several minutes, noting it was well after midnight by the clock in the corner. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. For lack of other options, she quickly threw on a dark, baggy, winter dress and jerked on her boots. She wrapped a heavy scarf around her neck and then wound another around her head. She pulled on a coat over it all. Then, she threw up the window and slipped out softly into the frigid night.

Elphaba moved purposefully, scaling the wall separating Crage Hall from the main campus. She made her way stealthily to the window just outside Doctor Dillamond's office. She stood there for a time, realizing she was faced with the same choices she'd had a few weeks prior. Now, however, she felt less diplomatic. She cared far less about getting caught.

She decided to try the front door, which was often left unlocked for students who worked late in the laboratories. Elphaba was pleased to find it open, and crept inside. She peered into each of the rooms leading to the doctor's office, finding each one empty. She listened, trying to determine if there might be anyone else in the building. Hearing nothing but the hum of silence around her, she considered her options. The door to the doctor's office was securely locked, she was certain, but Elphaba considered the hinges. It occurred to her that perhaps no one had thought about the strength of those.

She made her way down the hall into one of the laboratories and surveyed the equipment she found there. In the corner, she discovered a long, flattened metal rod. She shivered, certain she didn't want to know what it was used for. Elphaba was a little relieved, however, that the cages in the room were all empty.

I suppose they haven't found any new subjects to torture since the lion cub, she thought.

Carrying the rod, she slipped back down the hall and studied the office door again. Taking a deep breath, Elphaba decided it was now or never. She slipped the flat end of the rod under the middle hinge and forced it away from the door with all her strength. Her body cried out in protest, and her left side throbbed in vicious pain. She pressed through it, though, and was rewarded by the resounding crack of the door frame.

It took some time, but she finally managed to separate all three hinges from the frame. With a swift kick, the door gave way and slipped inward by several inches. Inspired by her progress, Elphaba gave it another hard blow and managed to create an opening just large enough to squeeze through. She clutched her aching ribs and held her breath as she just managed to fit through the crack.

I suppose today's the day to be grateful you're thin as a rail, she told herself.

Inside the office, she let her eyes adjust to the moonlight from outside. It seemed terribly bright after the dark, cavernous hallway. She could see Crage Hall from the large windows, and noted that no one appeared to be awake.

Elphaba knew her time was limited, so she worked quickly. Looking around, she realized the office must have been sealed just minutes after the doctor's body had been removed. Clearly, someone had not wanted anyone examining the scene too closely. She swallowed hard, noting that the lab table was still covered with shattered glass and dried, dark bloodstains. Papers were scattered about and books looked as though they had been dropped haphazardly. Certainly, if anyone had been allowed to look closely, they would have deduced that some sort of struggle had taken place. This did not look like the scene of someone accidentally falling on glass.

Elphaba grit her teeth and started collecting papers. It was far too dark and she had far too little time to read them there. She simply stacked them and began shoving them into a large, canvas bag she found on the back of the closet door. She took all the papers on the floor, and everything she could get from the large, oak cabinet by the window. With the bag near capacity, she suddenly froze. She could hear footsteps approaching, echoing down the long, polished wood floor of the hallway. With a rush of adrenaline, Elphaba looked around, considering her options. She couldn't very well run back the way she'd come and risk slamming head first into whoever was approaching.

On impulse, she picked up one of the heavy, wooden lab stools and swung it into the window. Glass shards flew around her, and she squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them, there was a large, jagged hole in the largest window. She kicked the biggest of the remaining glass fragments out of the way, hoping not to lacerate herself. Then, she slung the bag around herself and lunged through the window.

Elphaba sprinted back to her room, scaling the wall and struggling up the latticework to her window. When she slipped back inside, Galinda was still snoring delicately. Elphaba kicked the heavy bag under her bed and flopped down, her chest heaving. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to vomit or cry from the throbbing pain radiating from her left side. The minutes ticked by mercilessly as she tried to even her breathing and still the pounding of her heart. When she finally got a measure of control, she realized there was a cool, dampness on her right arm.

Elphaba went to the window, wincing in pain with each step, and pulled up her sleeve. There was a large gash across her right arm, which had bled through her dress. She cursed silently and went to the washbasin for a cloth. She dipped it carefully in the water and cleaned the wound. She then wound one of her scarves around it, determining that the bleeding has mostly stopped, but it was still a nasty cut.

I'll have to scrub this tomorrow, she told herself, pulling off her dress and wrapping it and the cloth carefully together. She didn't need Galinda panicking over why there were bloodstained clothes in their room

Elphaba curled up under her blankets then, not so much tired as she was exhausted and aching. She curled her arms around her ribs and tried to be calm. She took deep, heavy breaths, trying to focus her erratic thoughts. Her mind raced until nearly dawn, when she finally fell into an uneasy sleep. Only daylight would tell if she'd been seen, or was suspected. The rising sun would determine if she'd made an incredible discovery, or sentenced herself to expulsion.