So this story is just pouring out. There's something about it...it demands to be written. Also, random funny story...my son actually called me Elphaba the other day. He was trying to get my attention, and he said, "Mommy..mommy...mommy...Elphaba?" Awesome.

Story note...I believe very firmly that men cry. When we hurt badly enough, we all cry. We might lock it away so that no one ever sees, but it happens.

Stay for another morning,
Study the curves on my face.
Stay even when we're unknowing,
Stay 'till they tear you away.

I don't want to leave you with perfume and promises,
But we'll never know 'till we capture and bottle it,
Cause wouldn't it be such a shame,
If all was wasted?

Perfume and Promises, Idina Menzel

Chapter 11

The following week was final examinations. They all became somewhat reclusive as they poured over their books and wrote practice essays. Elphaba found sorcery seminary to be more complicated than she'd planned, and she spent hours trying to perfect a levitation spell. She succeeded in setting several oranges on file while doing so, and Galinda had laughed at the sickly smell in their room. Not surprisingly, the week left them all exhausted and somewhat dazed.

For the majority of the students, the last examination signaled the time to pack up one's belongings for the trip home for the winter holiday. Most would celebrate Lurelinemas with their families, but a few stayed behind to study, or work on extracurricular assignments in hopes of boosting their scores.

Elphaba was pleased to note that Avaric packed up and left without a word to Madame Morrible. Obviously, his need to blackmail her was rooted in apathetic selfishness, as opposed to maliciousness. He was simply too lazy to bother turning her in just out of spite. If he wasn't going to get what he wanted, Avaric would rather pout. That suited Elphaba fine, because it allowed her to focus on her research, rather than worrying about defending herself to the headmistress.

Fiyero's departure struck her more deeply. He had responsibilities to his family back in the Vinkus, she knew, but she hated the fact that he seemed to be so glad to get away from her. She'd tried to speak with him again, to corner him for just a moment, but he eluded her.

The day he packed his things into a carriage and headed for the train station, she watched him. He might have seen her, since she had planted herself quite visibly on a bench just across the street. However, he gave no sign of noticing. He would not meet her eye, or so much as wave. With a slam of the door and a crack of the driver's whip, he was gone. Elphaba was surprised at how lonely the moment felt, and she chided herself for letting her emotions get in the way once again. Still, she sat there for some time, listening to the sounds of students boarding carriages and saying their goodbyes. It was cold, but she had little to do and nowhere to be.

By early afternoon, the campus was strangely quiet. Even Nanny and Nessarose had left, insisting that their father would be heartbroken if he had to spend the holiday season alone. Elphaba knew that it was only his precious pet Nessarose that Frex would miss. Their father was far too devotedly Unionist to really care for the frivolous holiday of Lurelinemas, but he did care for his Nessa. He also had Shell, so Nessa's assertions in regards to his loneliness were thin, at best. Nonetheless, she and Nanny had departed the day previous, and now Elphaba was left alone on the bench.

Finally, chilled to the bone from sitting out in the damp cold, she made her way back to her room. Upon entering, she was pleased to see that the fire was blazing. She also realized one of the lamps was lit. Concerned, she turned to see someone sitting on her bed shifting through a sheaf of papers. Elphaba's reflexes immediately sprang to life as she slammed the door and demanded, "What are you doing?"

The figure turned into the light and gave a little gasp, and she realized it was Galinda.

"Elphie! I…was just…" Galinda stammered.

Elphaba calmed a little, and then grit her teeth in anger, "Are you going through my things?" she snapped.

Galinda's face was openly guilty. She lifted a few pieces of parchment and asked, "Are these Dr. Dillamond's notes?"

Elphaba ignored her question and asked, "Why would you go through my things? Do you have no sense of privacy?"

"I'm sorry…I just…"

"You just what? You just can't listen to me? You have to go nosing around what doesn't belong to you? Besides, shouldn't you be taking a carriage home to your mansion in Gillikin?"

Galinda's face darkened, "Don't mock me, Elphie. Don't pretend to know everything about me."

"All I know right now is that you're on my bed, going through things that do not belong to you!" Elphaba pointed out icily.

"They do not belong to you either," Galinda threw back.

Elphaba rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on. She had very little will to fight this evening, "So what do you want from me, Galinda? Do you want me to give them back? Turn myself in? What?"

Galinda looked a little surprised, "No! I want you to explain it to me. What does it mean?"

Her face was so sincere that Elphaba was struck dumb for a moment. She still did not understand this new Galinda. Her roommate's recent interest in her research was still somewhat hard to accept. She gave in, though, and crossed to sit on the bed.

"You're getting into something that could ruin your chances here. You do understand that?" Elphaba asked darkly.

Galinda nodded, her eyes wide.

"I've tried to keep you from this, to protect you. I care about you too much to see you hurt."

"Elphie…" Galinda whispered, "I'm a big girl."

Elphaba shuffled through the papers then, and began to explain what she had found. Galinda listened in rapt attention, occasionally interrupting to ask a question. Elphaba talked animatedly, illustrating with pen and ink the things Galinda found most confusing. They argued a little, and before they realized it, nearly two hours had passed.

Galinda finally took a deep breath and asked, "So…what will you do now?"

"I want to turn these notes into some sort of thesis. I think I can create a presentation for the Wizard, to make a plea for the Animals. I also think I'll need to make my primary discipline Life Sciences," Elphaba answered with enthusiasm.

Galinda bit her lip, "I thought Madame Morrible had her heart set on us being Sorcery students?"

Elphaba's face darkened, "I'm sure she does, but that isn't what I should be doing."

"It will be hard to convince her…"

"Then maybe I won't try. Perhaps I'll just change it."

"But I thought our disciplines had to be approved by…" Galinda looked confused.

Elphaba sighed, "Let's not argue. I'll find a way. We both know that. Now tell me, why are you not in Gillikin?"

Galinda looked away, her expression suddenly sour, "I decided to spend the holiday here," she hedged.

Elphaba raised an eyebrow, "Don't patronize me. We both know you don't care for me that much."

"That's a dreadful thing to say! I care very much for you!"

There was a silence then, and Elphaba's face fell open in surprise.

Galinda cleared her throat, trying to recover, "My life is not all roses and pearls, Elphie, despite what you might think…"

"What? No grand holiday banquet waiting for you at home this year?" Elphaba teased.

Galinda did not smile, and the joke fell flat, "My parents are taking the holiday in the mountains this year. Apparently, they've been waiting for me to be off to school so they can travel…"

Elphaba studied her roommate, sensing tears were about to fall. She squirmed at the idea, but felt terrible for Galinda, nonetheless. She knew what it was like to be shuffled away as an inconvenience. After several long, quiet moments, a solitary tear crept down Galinda's face. She hastily wiped it away and studied her hands.

Elphaba slid closer and, fighting her natural inclinations, put her arms around her friend. More tears fell, and Elphaba wiped them away, much as she'd seen Nanny doing for Nessarose. Finally, Elphaba said, "It's you and I, my sweet. You and I alone, for now. And if you can find the courage, I'll take you with me…"

"Where?" Galinda asked softly.

"To the Emerald City, to see the Wizard," Elphaba whispered, as though they might be overheard.

Galinda turned wide eyes on her friend, and said nothing more.

The following week, Elphaba was struck with a terrible bout of influenza. She supposed it might have come from sitting out in the snow for several hours, which, in retrospect, was not the best choice. However, even if it was her fault, she'd never had much patience for being ill. Elphaba hated staying in bed, but her head throbbed and the world spun if she sat up for too long. She coughed and ached, and then threw up until she thought she surely had no stomach left.

Galinda was extraordinarily kind, fetching her soup and having one of the Amas who'd stayed on check in on her. She brought back more pain powder, and even made sure the washbasins were clean. Elphaba knew that was certainly not a task Galinda would ever have had to bother with in upper-class Gillikin, and she was grateful.

The change in their relationship was obvious now that most of the other students were gone. As Galinda played nursemaid, they learned more about each other, and their tentative friendship began to grow roots of trust and intimacy. Elphaba felt a little guilty for thinking it, but she supposed this is what having a sister was supposed to feel like. She began to understand, finally, that she'd been mostly a handmaiden for Nessarose their entire lives.

By Lurelinemas Eve, Elphaba was still in bed. Galinda had offered to stay in the room with her that night, but Elphaba insisted she do something more festive. There was a get-together at the café for students and faculty who stayed year-round at Shiz, and Elphaba would not hear of Galinda missing it.

"You deserve a good time. You've done more than enough for me. I'm already deeply indebted and feel terribly awkward," Elphaba had said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, go. Go and let me rest. I believe I'll be up for leaving the room tomorrow."

So Galinda had put on her best party dress and curled her golden hair. She looked quite beautiful, perhaps because there was a different gleam in her eye. Some of the silly, young girl was gone, replaced with a sad maturity that was somehow more appealing. Elphaba was proud, as her friend bounced out of the room.

Then she lay there for some time, rolling around the main points of the dissertation she hoped to create from Dr. Dillamond's notes. Elphaba was beyond tired at this point, but her body refused to give in and get well.

After a short time and to her dismay, she found herself crouched over the washbasin once again, vomiting. Her stomach was more than empty, which only made it more painful. She knelt there for a time, wiping away a cold sweat and wondering if she had another fever. Finally, she stumbled back to her bed and pulled the quilts over her trembling body.

Elphaba straightened her nightdress under the blankets and slipped one hand underneath to feel her chest rise and fall. She was quiet, trying to feel any rattling beneath her ribs that would signal pneumonia. It was a trick she'd learned from Nanny as a child. Feeling nothing but her pounding heart, she ran her hand over her ribs, noting they were more prominent than usual, even for her.

I suppose I've lost some weight…she mused, not surprised considering how sick she'd been.

Elphaba let her hand slide down to the plane of her stomach, letting it rest between the bony outcroppings of her hips on either side. Suddenly, she froze. Her entire body raced with a surge of white-hot fear, and she could not move. She felt riveted to the spot, held down by a weight that wanted to crush her. Her heart raced, her blood felt like fire, and her head spun. She felt sick again, but swallowed against it because she could not move. She pressed her hand against the soft curve of her stomach, just below her navel.

Beneath her skin, there was something. Elphaba knew that it would be visible to no one but her. In fact, if she had been heavier, perhaps blessed with more curves, she most likely could not have felt it at all. Only because she was so very thin, and because of her position, lying on her back, she felt it. She began to tremble violently, hoping it might be a tumor or some strange disease that would mercifully kill her.

But she knew. She knew what it was, and at the same moment, cursed herself for having been so foolishly naïve. Had she learned nothing from Melena, who had demonstrated far too graphically how children are born into the world? Elphaba cursed to herself, now livid at having had a parent who taught sexual freedom, if only by example, but provided no information as to how to prevent this.

Then, she second-guessed herself, having always assumed on some level that she was far too strange to ever reproduce. Elphaba had never felt very female. It was merely a fact. She was not a man, therefore she was a woman, but barely. But now there was this, this strange roundness in the crook normally created by her hips. She lay there for some time, unable to move, almost unable to breathe. She was angry, resentful, and altogether terrified. She realized this would be the end of her education, and the end of her relationship with her family. She could not hide this, could not lie or smuggle it away. Then, she was struck by the cruelest fact in this situation.

She could not name the father.

Elphaba began to tremble violently. She was certain this must be a nightmare, or a delusion brought on by her sickness. This was the type of thing that happened to filthy prostitutes in the center of the City of Emeralds. This was the stuff of backwoods stories about uneducated Quadlings. This was not something that happened to a bright, young Shiz student who had revolution in her blood.

Elphaba's thoughts raced as she tried to sort out the past few months. It only became more obvious, however, that either Fiyero or Avaric could have fathered this thing now trying to grow within her. She'd been with both, and the time frame was far too entangled to possibly blame one over the other. She felt angry tears prick her eyes as she thought of all she wanted to do, how she'd hoped for some measure of respect when she stood up for what Doctor Dillamond had died for.

She had so many plans, plans that she had spent her free hours laying out. She saw herself at the head of a revolution that would defy what the most intelligent scholars thought they knew. She had visions of leading the south into becoming economically independent. Elphaba bit her lip, trying to fight back sobs because she was just so very, very angry.

My life, as I wanted it to be, is over, was all she could think, as she stared out into the unforgiving night.

Galinda returned to the room some time close to midnight. She hummed to herself, having ended up having a good time after all. Free from the judgmental eyes of Pfannee, Shenshen, and Milla, she was able to meet some of the students who stayed at Shiz all year. They were nice, she had decided. And that frightened her a little, because she realized how much she'd changed in a year's time.

It's because of Elphie, she told herself as she pushed open the door to their room. Galinda looked toward her roommate's bed, hoping Elphaba had fared well while she was gone. She was not there. Galinda also noted that the room was dark. The fire smoldered, but was sorely in need of stoking. She dropped her things on her bed and started toward the fireplace. In doing so, she stumbled over Elphaba, who was sitting on the floor, leaning against the footboard of her bed.

"Elphie? Sweet Oz, you scared me! What are you doing on the floor?" Galinda gasped.

Elphaba did not respond. She stared, unmoving, at the fire.

Galinda quickly threw a bit more wood onto the fire and hoped it would catch. Then she knelt down beside her roommate.

"Elphie? Are you ok?" she asked.

There was still no answer. Galinda's stomach felt heavy, because she'd never seen Elphie behave this way. She'd never seen her be this still without a book in her hand. She'd never seen her do…nothing.

"Elphie? You're scaring me…" Galinda whispered.

The fire finally caught then, and the warm light danced across Elphaba's face for a moment. That's when Galinda noticed it. She was crying. There were two streams running down the green girl's face, two perfect, unbroken channels. But Elphaba was absolutely silent. Her eyes were fixed on the fire, and she would not turn, even to acknowledge Galinda.

Galinda felt the heaviness in her stomach increase, and she was afraid. No, she was terrified. She'd never known Elphaba to cry, not once. It would have been odd enough to come in and find her sobbing on the bed, but somehow, that would have been less frightening. Galinda would have been less terrified if Elphaba was screaming, sobbing, and burying her face in a pillow. But this, this silent, unresponsive grieving was horrific. Galinda knew something was wrong, terribly wrong.

"Elphie?" she tried again, "Elphie? Elphie! Answer me! You're scaring me!"

She tried for some time, but there was no response except for even breathing and the damned tears. Finally, Galinda gave up. She pulled the quilt from her bed and sat very close to Elphie, so close that she could feel the hard angles of her friend's body. She pulled the quilt over both of them and wrapped her arms around Elphaba. They stayed that way until exhaustion pulled them both into sleep, leaning on each other, two sides of a coin, two poles of a magnet, two pieces of a puzzle. Two, who would become three.