I dislike saying this BUT Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, if I did we'd see a lot more going on if you get my gist....

Ever since that dream Derek couldn't help but look at Penelope and wonder if her neck tasted of strawberries and cream or if that was just made up like the rest of it.

To say they were getting closer was an understatement, it was like everything that had happened, hadn't really happened at all. There was no animosity about Battle, Kevin, Tamara or even the lack of 'them' that had occurred when Derek was unit chief.

They now had routines, they had their norm back, they flirted like there was no tomorrow and they basked in one another's friendship.

Derek had now given up being the ladies man, he didn't want rakes or sticks, he wanted curves that his hands could just flow over. Curves like Penelope's, curves that screamed what a real woman was made of. He wanted that and he would and could pursue getting it had it not been Penelope that he desired so much. He felt like too much relied on them for him to tell her, that their friendship would falter under the love and he would rather have Penelope's friendship and basic love than lose her altogether. Losing her would be the complete end of him and he knew it.

He doodled while he sussed out how to complete this report, his head was far from the job, it was getting late and he hadn't finished.

'Come on cup cake, mamma's taking you for a stiff drink.' Penelope told him and threw him his coat his way; he caught it and then he fell back into his chair and looked up at her. 'Na uh, I've spoken to the boss mass, you're all mine and I like to treat my favourite chocolate right.'

He couldn't help but laugh at her. 'I better be your favourite type of chocolate.'

'Mm, nothing beats ya sugar.' She told him with a smile and put his hand out for him to take. 'Come on, I want some respite, you need some respite, let's go dancing.' He nodded and threw his pen down. 'That's it, it can wait until tomorrow. Unless the work gremlin comes and be's nice to my sugar daddy.'

'Well sugar mamma we'll just have to see.'

'Oh, handsome, I'm only your sugar equal if I were your woman. Frat rules a no, no in this place, but outside of this building I'll be anything you want me to be.' She winked at him and then went for the door, pushing it open she stood there as he stared at her. 'You coming Agent Morgan? I'm waiting.' She told him with a teasing grin, he chuckled, shook his head, put his coat and went towards her.

Now he was at home, Penelope's smell still lingered on the fabric of his clothes. The after taste of one too many beers masking his taste buds still and he let the sleep take him. He was drunk, he was more exhausted and taking that break with Penelope did him the world of good.

Waking up Derek felt the sun of the morning warming him and he felt like he'd slept peacefully. The fact he was still on top of the bed and fully clothed was irrelevant. He pulled himself up and stretched, his dreams had been filled with Penelope and he knew he couldn't keep living with her loving him in his dreams. He got up and went and took Clooney out, he ran to clear his head but when that failed him, he decided to take a cold shower.

With all this fail in quite succession of itself he realised he was going to be too early for work, he fell down onto the couch and saw his laptop out, he hadn't left it out. Hadn't touch it in days from its place in the corner unit. Lifting it up he found it to still be on, waiting for it to load the only programme running were his emails. No new emails that he hadn't already seen, but his draft box had 4 emails with no one in the sender. Putting his elbows to his knee's he leant forward and read.

The first one consisting of just one simple list. That was all that lay in that email and as he read down the list is heart clenched.

You

*Brown Orbs I could stare at all day.

*Red curls I could run my hands through for eternity.

*Ruby lips I could kiss until my mouth ran dry and my breath run out.

*Curves I could run my hands over forever.

*Voice that echoes in my sleep.

*Laugh that rings in my ears long after the jokes finished.

*Walk that is so perfected its unique.

*You, my one and only.

Derek finished reading it, he had no idea when he wrote it, his eyes flashed to the date and time, 10th May 2010, 03:34am, he frowned, ran a hand over his mouth and sighed, he had no recollection. Clicking onto the next one he read the first bit and he knew the truth to it all. In this one were just quotes nothing else, just simple short quotes, all about love.

Soul meets soul on lover's lips. ~ By Percy Bysshe Shelly ~

We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end. ~Benjamin Disraeli~

Never close your lips to those whom you have opened your heart. ~Charles Dickens~

Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold. ~Zelda Fitzgerald~

Love is like smiling; it never fades and is contagious. ~Paula Dean~

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. ~Rose Franken~

Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it rekindles the great. ~Comte DeBussy-Rabutin~

Till I loved I never lived. ~Emily Dickenson~

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. ~ Albert Einstein~

I love you - those three words have my life in them. ~ By Alexandrea to Nicholas III ~

Derek must've read those lines multiple times before he breathed again, a new email, time: 4:04am, and he had no idea he'd done it. Worried he went to the last email, this one had a sender, Penelope's email sat in the sender box and his eyes widened before he looked down.

They say we leave this world just the way we came into it... naked and alone.

So if we do leave with nothing, what then is the measure of a life? Is it defined by the people we choose to love?

Or is life simply measured by our accomplishments?

And what if we fail, or have never truly loved? What then? Can we ever measure up?

I don't my life measured by achievements Baby Girl; I want my shot at measuring it through my love. My love of you.

Derek just shut the laptop and ran his hands over his head. He had to tell her, he had to let her know that he loved her with everything that made him, that every cell of his body just called for her. He shook his head in hope to help clear out the images of Penelope; he just stood and left for work. Looking at his phone he saw he was now running late, flipping it open to ring Hotch he saw it still on his messages.

He groaned, he had texts saved too.

A/N: So another chapter done!

Mooorgans getting deep in love!!! =)

Hope you still like =) Let me know!