Disclaimer: The characters belonging to Janet Evanovich are used strictly for entertainment purposes.
A/N: First, I want to say a HUGE thank you to M for her additions to Tank's adventure. This would have been a completely different chapter without her writing talents. It's been a blast to collaborate together. :)
Thanks to Alf for being honest and expecting more from me as I go. I appreciate every comment and observation.
To my reviewers, thanks so much. I look forward to your comments each week. I think I'm a bigger fan of you than you are of this story!
We're starting to wind down now. Hopefully, you'll enjoy these next few chapters as I wrap up the story.
*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*
Tank spared the wall clock in his office a quick glance and cursed under his breath. Damn, Ranger. Why in the hell hadn't Ranger inflicted his normal form of punishment? He would much rather have met the boss on the mats at 4 a.m. for a week than being stuck babysitting Mary Lou's kids tonight.
He rolled his chair back from the desk, stood and checked his utility belt without thinking. When his hand lingered over the stun gun, he wasn't sure whether to smile or chastise himself. With a deep sigh, he opened the office door and headed out.
"Brown, you're in charge for the next few hours," Tank growled the order out when he walked by Bobby.
"Whoa! Wait up big guy," Bobby called.
Tank turned to face Bobby, a deep frown etched on his face. "What?"
Bobby reached under the desk he was sitting at in front of the monitor station. "We've got a little something for you before you set out on your mission, a survival kit." Bobby tossed a bright pink diaper bag in Tank's direction; he caught it out of habit.
"First thing you're going to need," Zero stepped forward and handed Tank a small box of disposable diapers. Taped on the front of the box was a piece of paper with a hand drawn diagram of the correct way to diaper a baby.
Tank felt a cold sweat break out at the possibility of changing a diaper. Shit, he hadn't thought of that necessity. He traced back through his thoughts trying to recall the ages of Mary Lou's children.
"Just in case they're too old for diapers, you might need this," Cal slapped an extra large plastic athletic cup into Tank's other hand. "Little rug rats always seem to be just at that height."
With a low growl, Tank shoved both items down into the diaper bag hanging over his shoulder. He turned to leave for the second time when someone else stopped him by calling for him to wait. This time it was Ram. "Just to prevent what happened the last time you babysat, put these on the kids when you get there." Ram held out three tracking bracelets for Tank to see before shoving them down inside the bag.
"Is that all?" Tank grumbled and threw a stern look around the room.
"Umm, whatever you do, don't let them have sugar." Hal's quiet voice drew Tank's eyes to the left. "Give them some of this instead," Hal tried to hide his smile when he handed Tank a package of turkey lunchmeat. "Turkey is supposed to make them sleepy."
"All of you stop it!" A reproachful voice sounded from the other end of the hall. Everyone turned to look in Ella's direction. She narrowed her eyes at all the men when she walked down the hall. "The only thing you have to remember is that they are children, not soldiers. The best way to handle them is with love and patience." She reached up to pat one of Tank's large shoulders. "And if that fails, bribe them with cookies and call for reinforcements." Ella winked and slipped a plastic container of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies into the bag.
Tank mumbled his thanks and hurried toward the elevator, he had to get out of here before he decided to resign from Rangeman and accept the consequences.
Tank sat in his Escalade and stared at Mary Lou's front door. Ranger's revenge was a thousand times worse than the punch Tank had snuck in the night Stephanie left, but he couldn't convince his friend of it. A thought popped into his mind as he exited his SUV. What sort of a mother would allow a gun-toting military type to look after her kids? The obvious answer was a desperate one. He scanned up and down the street before he reached back inside the SUV to grab the diaper bag.
His eyes caught odd shapes in the grass along the sidewalk up to the front porch. They were unrecognizable except for one with jaggedly cropped blonde hair. He bent over to pick it up and saw that it was a Barbie doll with red nail polish streaked across her neck, as if someone had sliced it open. He flipped the toy back onto the grass and approached the steps, fighting a shudder.
Tank shook his head and mumbled under his breath as his feet ascended the porch steps. Mary Lou swung the door open and flashed a smile up at him. "Hi Tank, come in." She stepped away from the door and her hands went to her hips, eyes narrowed in a classic 'unhappy mom' pose. "Kenny, I mean it. Don't give me that look, buster."
She turned back to Tank and he gave a mental cringe. He'd been holed up for three days with no food and very little water in Afghanistan hiding from insurgents and felt more comfortable than he did standing inside this house with the prospect of being alone with three children.
"You all set?" Tank asked.
Mary Lou nodded. He noticed the coat draped over the arm of the couch near the door. She was ready to hit the road and abandon him. He schooled himself to tamp down his inner panic.
He peered around the door and found three sulking children seated on the couch with dull stares on their faces. All three appeared to be too old for diapers and Tank released an inner sigh of gratitude. "Hey, I'm Tank." He nodded to them. He received three simultaneous blinks. Wonderful, we're off to a great start already. "What are your names?"
The children didn't speak, merely stared at him until Mary Lou stepped out from behind him. When they caught a glimpse of her expression, they sang like canaries.
"I'm Kenny," the oldest boy answered. He was a gangly kid, tall and slim. His hair was dark blonde and his eyes were hazel. He nudged the younger boy beside him in the center of the couch.
The boy shoved back and mumbled, "Mikey." He was solid, not chubby, and had darker brown hair. He had a lighter color of hazel eyes than his brother and his skin was pale where Kenny had an olive complexion. The boys turned to look at their little sister, who Tank could see was more shy than stubborn.
"Lexa," she whispered and averted her gaze, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She had pale skin and pale eyes, maybe blue-gray, maybe blue. Her blonde hair was up in pigtails and her eyes were big as saucers.
Mary Lou turned back to Tank. "Kenny is ten, he can show you anything you need and has promised to help out with the younger two. Mikey is eight and Lexa is six. Bedtime is nine on Saturdays." She grabbed her coat and slipped her arms into the sleeves before she settled it onto her shoulders and fluffed her straight blonde hair out. "Tank, thanks so much for your help. With Lenny out of town on his fishing trip and my usual backup unavailable, this would have been impossible." She touched a hand to his arm. "It means so much to me."
"No problem," he said.
"The kids haven't eaten dinner. I ordered Pino's and it should be here in about twenty minutes." She ticked off her mental list. "My cell number is on the whiteboard by the phone. Okay, Connie just pulled up." She grinned. "She's our DD tonight. Want us to bring Lula here when we get back?"
"That'd be nice," he said with a smile.
The kids folded their arms firmly across their chests when she wrapped her hand around the door knob and twisted it. "Be good," she said pulling the door open. "Thanks again, Tank." And she was gone.
Tank stood in the middle of the living room with a blank stare directed at the kids. He couldn't think of one thing to say. He had very little experience with children and usually avoided them since many were scared of him due to his size. "How do you guys feel about turkey on your pizza?" Tank asked and mentally crossed his fingers.
Three jaws dropped and Kenny said, "What?"
Tank smiled. "I'm just kidding." He received three carefully bred Burg eye rolls and relaxed a little as the kids dropped their arms to their sides. So much for Hal's idea.
"Do you carry a gun?" Kenny asked and began to bounce up and down on the couch.
Tank gave a wary nod.
"Cool!" Mikey shouted. "Do you have it now? Can we see it?"
"No." His voice was a little gruff, but the kids took it in stride.
"You wanna play a game?" Kenny asked after Tank had his feet tied securely back inside his boots.
"Depends on the game." Tank remembered the first rule of combat: never trust your enemy.
"Good guys, bad guys," Kenny answered with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.
"Okay."
"Attack!" Mikey shouted and all three kids scrambled off the couch to collect their Nerf 'N Strike Vulcan machine guns. Tank was immediately pelted with sponge bullets before he could react. He threw his hands up in front of his eyes and stalked toward the couch with full intentions of confiscating their weapons, but the kids moved out of his reach and continued to pelt him.
"Cover me!" he heard one of the boys shout. "I need to reload!" A series of pops followed and Tank was pelted by a second round of foam projectiles.
The kids were shouting and running when a loud wail from Lexa stopped the action. Tank lowered his hands to find the girl on the floor, her hands clutched over her stomach, and tears on her cheeks. Great, Pierre. You've been here less than twenty minutes and already a kid is hurt. "That's enough boys!" His voice boomed. "Sit. On. The. Couch."
The shock of his full, deep voice caused the boys to follow his exact orders. Tank approached Lexa and lifted her from the floor with big, gentle hands. Another wail met his ears and Tank looked over at the boys. Mikey was curled up in a ball and crying. Tank shot a glare in Kenny's direction and the older kid shook his head and raised his hands. "I didn't do a thing. He's afraid of the Hulk."
"What?" Tank cradled the little girl in his arms, relieved that her crying had reduced to a whimper.
"He must have thought you were going to turn green when you yelled. The Hulk movie gives him nightmares," Kenny said. Great, there wasn't a damn thing in the diaper bag to use in case of nightmares.
Tank groaned and collapsed into the La-Z-Boy chair directly in front of the television. "Are you okay?" he asked the small girl. She nodded her head yes and snuggled into his chest.
"She's just being a baby 'cause we ran into–" Tank stopped Kenny's reply with a raised hand.
He stroked Lexa's small head with a gentle touch. "Okay," he said to his small charges. "I'm sorry I yelled." The boys gave a solemn nod in unison. "New rule for the rest of the night: no running."
"That's a good idea," Kenny said. "We're not supposed to run in the house."
Tank tipped his head back and sent his eyes skyward. The doorbell rang and all three kids miraculously recovered and yelled 'pizza' in unison. He worked his body out of the chair wondering how in the hell mothers did this every day.
At the door, he checked through the glass pane to be sure it was the delivery guy from Pino's. He recognized the black hat with the pepperoni pizza slice in the center front. He opened the door and handed the kid the money, complete with a ten dollar tip for his trouble.
He found some paper plates in the cupboard near the kitchen window and set out napkins. The children all sat around the table and Tank put a slice of their preferred pizza on their plates. "What do you want to drink?"
"Juicy Juice!" Lexa shouted with enthusiasm.
Tank smiled and looked at the boys. "Sound good to you?" They nodded. He went to the fridge and found the juice boxes on the bottom shelf. "Cherry or Apple?" Two calls for cherry and one for apple followed, so he grabbed them and set them on the table. The kids grabbed their juices, pulled off the straws and slurped down their drinks before he closed his pizza box.
They made quick work of the pizza and then retreated to the living room. Before his eyes, the kids morphed into a pack of wild imps. He swore they were pinging off the walls and ceiling. What the hell?
He stood up and said, "Sit down, all of you," in his military voice.
Three giggling hyenas sat on the couch and threatened to laugh themselves to death. How could he restore order when the kids weren't coherent enough to hear him? Then an evil idea popped into his head.
"I have to get something from my car. Everyone sit tight and I'll be right back." He gave them one final hard look as he trotted out the door and down the steps to his SUV. When he returned, he found the front door locked and the kids nowhere in sight. "Fuck that," he said. He picked the lock and tossed the harness he'd grabbed onto the couch.
His big voice boomed through the house. "I want you all back in the living room now! If I have to come find you, things will get ugly!" Small feet pounded through the house. Kenny and Mikey reappeared, but there was no Lexa. "Lexa?" Maybe Ram had been right about the tracker bracelets He turned to the boys. "Where's your sister?"
Kenny shrugged. Mikey said, "She's in her room. She hid under her bed."
Tank went upstairs and saw that her bedroom door displayed her name. He knocked on it and called out, "Lexa? You in there?" He heard sniffles and cracked the door open. "Come on out, little girl. I'm not upset with you." It took a few moments to convince her, but she finally squirmed out from under her bed.
"I didn't want to hide from you. Kenny said I had to because we were playing a game." Tank could understand the game, but the poor girl was afraid of his wrath and he understood that, too.
"Come on, let's go have some fun before bedtime." He held out his hand and she took it. They walked downstairs to join the boys and Tank looked them over. His gaze settled on Kenny and he said, "You pull anymore stunts like locking me out and I'll throw you so far it will take you two days to walk home." Fear crept into the boy's eyes and he gave Tank a solemn nod.
"You all see this harness? It's what I use to secure particularly wild children who don't listen. Anyone want to give it a try?" He picked up the harness from the couch and dangled it in front of their faces, swaying it back and forth, their eyes tracking every move. Three terrified head shakes met his question and he said, "Glad we understand each other. Now, who'd like a story?"
A few moments later, Tank sat in the La-Z-boy with the kids piled around him, each with one of Ella's cookies in hand. Kenny had grabbed Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban from the book case and brought it over to Tank.
His deep timbre reverberated throughout the living room, strong and steady, as he read to them. Even without knowing what the book was about, he found it enjoyable and began to change his voice for each character. The kids laughed at his improvisation and periodically asked questions. Two chapters later, Tank closed the book and then announced, "Okay, time to get ready for bed."
Luckily for him, the kids had their bedtime routine down, and thirty minutes from the end of the story, Tank closed Lexa's door and went down to the living room to wait for Mary Lou to get home.
He settled back into the comfortable recliner and picked up the Harry Potter book. From the inside cover, it looked to be the third book in a series, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. "I can't believe I'm doing this." He got up and walked over to the book case and found they had several of the books, so he pulled the first one. "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Okay, let's see how this got started."
He hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep, but his eyes flew open the minute he heard a car pull into the drive. He slid the recliner back into an upright position and crossed the room to look out the front window. The girls were home and from first glance, feeling no pain.
"You ladies have fun tonight?"
"The best!" Connie had a sparkle in her eye and a flush to her cheeks. "It was a great night."
"Good. Let's go home, Lady Lu."
"I knew the kids would be in good hands tonight. Thanks, Tank." Mary Lou hugged him and then crossed to the couch where he'd left the harness. She picked it up and examined the buckles and straps, then turned a raised eyebrow back to him. "I do have one small favor to ask."
Tank leaned over to pick up the ugly pink diaper bag and tossed it over his shoulder. "What's that?"
"Can Lenny and I borrow this little contraption for a couple of days?" Mary Lou's eyes twinkled mischievously.
"Enjoy." Tank smiled and gave a deep chuckle, then turned to Lula. "You ready, baby?"
"Am I ever! I just have one problem," she said as they stepped out onto the porch and Mary Lou closed the door behind them.
"What's that?"
"Why the hell did you give away something we coulda had so much fun with tonight?" She gave him a shot to the arm with her fist and stomped down the walk to his SUV. He smiled and shook his head, figuring he'd wait until they got to her place before he told her he had a spare.
*\/*\/*\/*\/*
Stephanie awoke Sunday morning as the sun rose over the horizon of the Atlantic after a fitful few hours of sleep. She'd gone to bed last night with two thoughts on her mind. The first was of Ranger and the comments he'd made at the club last night.
Her second thought was one she'd tried to avoid ever since she promised her friends a visit: returning to Trenton. It was time. She had no excuse to put it off. Naked Soul didn't have a Sunday evening concert. Stephanie could drive to Trenton tonight and stay until Tuesday afternoon without a problem.
Because she really wanted to run away from that idea, she decided she should do it. So, after a workout, a shower, and breakfast, she sprawled on the couch between M&G and blew out a breath.
Geo rubbed her feet and Merc stroked her hair. "Spill it," they said in unison.
"It's really creepy when you guys do that," she complained.
"You love us anyway," Geo said.
She flipped him the bird and looked up into Merc's amber eyes. "Okay, I'm going to Trenton tonight. I'm going to stay at Mary Lou's as long as she's okay with it."
"Ah, the gorgeous, but married, Mary Lou," Merc said, smiling down at Stephanie. "It's a good idea, best idea all year."
"Oh? Even above me joining the band?"
"Like I said, second best idea all year," he laughed. "Really, you need this, it's been building since the night we rescued you from that horrible, smelly car you were driving."
Stephanie rolled her eyes. She slipped a foot out of Geo's hands and nudged his thigh. "Okay if I borrow your spare Beemer for a couple of days?"
He squeezed her foot. "Absolutely."
Her body sagged into the couch and she brought her hands up to rub her eyes. "Great," she said with no enthusiasm. "I'll go call her. I'm sure it will be 'just fine' and then I'll have no excuse to stay here and bug you two."
Geo laughed. "All the better. If he's not here following you around, it will give him a chance to flirt with that saucy little hostess at the diner. I'll bet she's kinky, redheads always are."
Stephanie ignored the slight sting in her gut and glanced at Merc. Merc shook his head slightly. "Geo's idea, I never said anything."
"I think it's a good one," she found herself saying. "She really likes you, and you do like read hair." She ignored the jealousy that rose to the surface and smiled.
Merc narrowed his eyes at both Geo and Stephanie and said, "I'll think about it, but I'm not sure I'm ready."
"Neither am I, but it seems life is forcing us both to move on," Stephanie eased herself up and walked to her room. "Be back in a few, boys. I've got a phone call to make."