Kim The Neglected
By: The Arsenal 3.0
He was known to townfolk and people the world over for his unusual (and almost demented) fixation with justice.
Kim Kaphwan.
When he wasn't busy opposing evil wherever it may rear its ugly head, he was found in the dojo perfecting his skill or training his "dedicated" students for the next KOF. Kim hoped to bond with his sons and teach them well so that they may carry on the Kaphwan tradition. Of course, this was hard when your kids couldn't follow simple directions.
"No, no! Do a Flying Kick, followed by a Crescent Moon Slash, follow that up with a Flying Slice, and finish off the opponent in style with a Phoenix Flattener!" Kim directed, arms crossed.
"Yes sir," Dong Hwan said tiredly.
"Whatever you say," Jae Hoon replied, equally exhausted.
Kim's sons did the Flying Kick, followed by a Crescent Moon Slash, followed that up with a Flying Slice, and when they landed, they exhaustingly stumbled forward and butted heads which knocked them flat on their backs.
"Good God, it's like watching an elementary school play!" Kim put his hand to his head.
"B...but you said you liked our plays!" Jae Hoon said on the verge of tears.
"All parents say that," Kim replied. "Now back to the matter at hand, do you kids have ANY attention span whatsoever? Do you WANT to succeed? The legacy of the Kaphwan dojo is within your grasp and you know what you're doing to it?!"
"What?" Dong Hwan asked out of innocent curiosity.
"You're-" Kim paused to think. "I don't know what exactly but it's bad! It's really bad, okay? You know what it is? It's those video games! No video games for a week!" he ordered.
"AW!" the kids complained.
"That's that. Besides, I haven't finished the new Mario Party yet,"Kim revealed, oblivious to the looks his kids were giving him. "Now let's head home, your mother's cooking today."
"Yes sir..."
Upon returning home, the kids finished their food quickly and locked themselves in their room much to the concern of their mom. Kim himself was too busy reading the local paper to notice.
"Ha, ha! Charlie Brown, you're such a block head!" Kim said with a laugh.
"Your kids are scared of you, you know," his wife pointed out. "Heck, I get scared just listening to you read the comics."
"Hon, you're overreacting. Besides, my kids respect me. They call me 'sir,'" Kim stated.
"They lock themselves in their room and wait until you're asleep to spread whipped cream on your face."
"What?! You said you found me eating cake while sleepwalking!"
"Look, you should spend time with them, get them to think of you as 'dad' and not 'sensei!'" his wife suggested.
Kim sighed and made his way to the closed door of his sons' room. He knocked. No answer. Kim grumbled and knocked again, this time hearing a faint response.
"What?" Jae Hoon answered.
"Hey kids! Wanna play catch?" Kim asked.
"No," they responded.
"Um...want candy?"
"No."
"Do you want to come out at all?"
"No."
"Oh well, I tried," Kim shrugged at his wife and headed for bed.
The next day...
"DAMN IT!" Kim wiped the cream from his face and strode up to his sons' room. "Which one of you did this?! Answer!"
"They're at a friend's house," the missus revealed.
"Blast, how will they continue my legacy if I can't bond with them?!" Kim asked irritably. "What if they don't WANT to continue it? What if they become doctors? Or worse...POLITICIANS?!"
"Is that so bad?"
"What century have you been living in?" Kaphwan paced about the room while his wife glared daggers at him. "Wait, I've got it! What's the next best thing to having sons?"
"Nieces and nephews?" she suggested.
"No, you brainless woman! STUDENTS! I'll simply bond with my students!" Kim struck a pose with his hands on his hips and his teeth glistening white. "Quick! Where's the phone book?"
"Where you always leave it, you bastard."
"Right, thanks hon!"
While Kim sat on his living room couch and began looking through some numbers, the familiar faces of Chang and Choi entered the room.
"Master Kim, why don't you just bond with us?" Chang suggested.
"Yeah, we're always here!" Choi pointed out.
"Exactly."
The Tae Kwon Do sensei continued looking through the numbers while his two sidekicks left the room with their heads down in disappointment.
"Let's see...too fickle, too independent, too much of an Athena lover, not enough love for Kim, too crazy..." Kim was about to call it quits when he came across a familiar number. "Yes, this one's perfect. Honey! Get me...CHAE LIM!" Kim struck another pose, this time pointing towards the heavens.
"You already have the phone, you idiot!" His wife shouted.
"SOMEONE'S not going to get lucky tonight!" Kim yelled back.
"Have fun with yourself!"
"I WILL!"
What else I happening around South Town?
Continue on to the next chapter!