Chapter 4. Have you seen me?

The next morning when Michael woke up, Anora was already out of bed and getting dressed. It was still gloomy outside, so she must have gotten up early. Michael ransacked his memory for any occasion that might explain her early rise.

"Do we have anything planned for today Anora?" Michael asked as he got out his dressing room.

"Nothing that needs concern you," Anora answered in a frosty tone. "You can run and play with the soldiers all day long if you want, or whatever you fancy."

Michael flinched. He had hoped that yesterdays argument would be forgotten now, but instead she seemed to be in a really foul mood. He was about to mention that Leliana was back in Denerim, but decided against it. Not when she was like that. I'll tell her later instead, he thought to himself.

"As you wish dear. I'll go see Master Denwick about the preparations for the hunt tomorrow then," Michael said instead and left hurriedly.

Anora watched him leave with a knot in her stomach. She had slept poorly last night and when she had woken up early she had not been able to go back to sleep.

Michael always liked to keep track of his old companions and often told her all about what he heard of them. Now he had not even mentioned that Leliana was back in Denerim. She cursed herself for a fool for doubting him, but she couldn't quite shake her worry off.

The rest of the day Michael and Anora managed to avoid each other all together. Several times Michael considered trying to find Anora and talk to her, but he kept finding excuses to avoid it. Once he actually went looking for her, but a maid told him she was busy and not to be disturbed.

He really couldn't understand why she had been so angry this morning. It was she who had started it when she refused to listen to him about Bann Oline. Maker's mercy, she ought to be the one who apologized to him.

Then Michael remembered Leliana. It would be so good to see her again. He missed her and he really need someone to talk to, he thought, sighing to himself.

Michael saddled his horse and went for a ride in the afternoon, but his heart wasn't really in it. He was only an average horseman on the best of days, and today he was too preoccupied with thoughts to enjoy the ride, even if the spring weather was bright and sunny.

He returned earlier than he had originally planned from the rise and went straight to his private study. He tried to concentrate on the rolls of parchment, but his eyes kept drifting towards the half open window. Would she really just sneak past the palace defenses come in as easily as yesterday? Probably he thought, smiling to himself.

He forced himself to continue with the officer commendations. It wasn't strictly speaking something he need to concern himself with, but he liked to get a feel for who the ranking nobles in the royal army was. He had almost lost himself in his reading, when he heard a noise from the window. He looked up and saw Leliana stand smiling beside the window making a theatrical bow.

"Your highness," she said.

"Leliana, you made it after all," he said. Michael rose smiling in return and gave her light hug.

"So... where to now Michael?" she asked him.

He frowned. He hadn't really thought that far. He just wanted a moment on his own with her, to catch up on old times with Leliana, but he didn't want half the Castle watching over his back. Leliana saw his concern, but just looked smugly at him and motioned him to look out through the window.

Michael looked carefully. Beneath him the sun was setting and the first lights where being lit in Denerim. Then he looked to the left and saw a rope hanging down from the roof. He turned quizzically to Leliana.

"Come on Michael," she whispered. "You've been locked up in here too long. You need an adventure."

Michael was going to say something about the Darkspawn invasion in Amaranthine, but Leliana was already out through the window. Shaking his head, he leaned out through the window to catch the rope.

He tried to forget the height as he climbed up the rope, up onto the palace roof. Leliana sat waiting for him, leaning on an ugly looking gargoyle thing. She had opened a leather bag and pulled a bottle of wine she had began to uncork.

"What is this?" Michael said smiling in disbelief. "Are we having a picnic now?"

"We're just enjoying the view. Don't you know that this the best view of Denerim," Leliana answered him.

"You mean when it's getting dark and you are high above so you can't really see it?" Michael said jokingly.

"I knew you would understand," Leliana giggled.

For a long time the just sat there and enjoyed the sight. As the dusk set in and city grew darker they began to discuss their other companions. Leliana told him that Zevran was in Denerim, but wasn't sure if he wanted to make himself known or not.

"Have you... heard anything from Alistair yet?" Leliana asked him carefully.

"Nothing," Michael admitted sadly. "I have tried to find a way to get in touch with him, but I have found no trace of him."

"It wasn't your fault you know," Leliana tried to comfort him.

"Yes it was," he said and shook his head.

She softly stroked his cheek. He took a deep breath and smiled at her.

"Don't mind me," he said and tried to smile. "It's just been... a lot lately."

"Life as a Prince is not all fun and games then?"

"Not exactly," Michael replied sadly.

Then he started to tell her about yesterdays fight with Anora, and before he knew it he had began to pour out all his frustration and bitterness to her.

Leliana listened intently. As she listened she felt a strange sinking feeling inside. She looked wistfully at him, until she had to avert her eyes and compose herself.

Michael noticed that she had stopped looking at him and grew silent. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pour everything on you like that. I must be boring you."

"You love her, don't you?" Leliana said softly. "You really love the Queen, that's why you are hurting so."

"I...You... you are right of course," Michael sighed, looking down at his hands. "Maker help me, but I do."

"Then you should tell her more often," Leliana said and smiled at him.

"I would be happy if I just knew how to keep her from getting mad at me all the time."

"Don't be stupid. Even Queen's are women. You should tell her that you love her as often as you can. But now I've taken too much of your time Michael. Let's go back inside, before someone starts to suspect that I've abducted their Prince."

Leliana rose and motioned him to follow.

They both climbed down the rope and back into Michael's study.

"Thank you so much Leliana. you are a wonderful friend and I really missed our talks," Michael said finally.

Leliana tried to smile. Once maybe he could really have been hers, but now he was truly lost to her.

At least I will have one memory of him, she thought and before Michael knew what had happened, she grabbed him and kissed him fiercely. Michael was caught completely off guard. Without really knowing what he did, he answered the kiss.

Suddenly the door was flung open.

"I am sure I saw him here your Majesty and...oh!"

Michael and Leliana let go of each other horrified, as Queen Anora stared at them behind the wide eyed chamber maid. Anora's eyes narrowed and she turned away.

"Let's go Calinda," Anora said icily. "My husband is just saying goodbye to his... friend. I'm sure she was about to leave us now anyway."