And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide,
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side.
Storm clouds may gather, and stars may collide,
But I love you, until the end of time.

Come what may, come what may,
I will love you, until my dying day.

Come What May, Moulin Rouge

Chapter 23

One week later, Fiyero was sitting on the balcony of his flat. He was sorely in need of a thorough bathing and his face was covered in several days worth of stubble. He was leaning back in a chair, staring at the river in the distance. It was a fairly clear day, and the air hinted at warmer weather ahead. Yet Fiyero felt as cold and listless as ever. He'd tried to go out with Avaric a few days prior, but the liquor didn't set well and the women just seemed shrill. He'd gone through the meager alcohol rations in his flat within a day and had been painfully sober since.

You have to do something. Anything, he told himself. Fiyero was troubled, frightened even, at the downward spiral he was taking. More than once, he'd wondered what it would be like to climb to the roof and just fall, to know that death was certain. It scared him, and he understood that he had reached a critically low point. Still, he floundered. He had no idea how to work past it, how to make himself get up and move on.

Fiyero sighed heavily then, and stood up. He kicked at the chair beside him and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. He supposed he could start with a bath. He was one of the more privileged residents of the city, and was fortunate enough to have running water. So he stumbled to his washroom and spent the next hour washing off a week's worth of grime. Afterward, he combed his hair and dressed haphazardly. He pulled on a coat and made his way outside, and then trudged slowly down the street.

He wandered a for a few blocks, watching the people hurrying to work, hurrying to important places with important things to do. Fiyero felt almost invisible, as though he were fading from life and watching from another world as the city continued on without him. It was an altogether terrible feeling, and it made him realize how pathetic and useless his life had become. For a brief, fleeting moment, he wished he had joined Elphaba in her plan to bring revolution to Oz. It still would have hurt, that she didn't love him, but at least he would have done something.

Fiyero quickly shook it off, though. Allowing himself to follow that vein of thinking put him at risk for complete insanity. Instead, he stumbled into the barber shop several blocks from his flat. He decided that he might as well finish cleaning himself up, since he'd made the effort to come outside. He went into the shop and let them give him a good shave, and trim his rather ragged looking hair.

Afterward, he mumbled his thanks, left a generous tip, and shuffled back outside. The sun was high in the sky now, although the air was still cold. He pulled his coat around himself and continued to walk. He was lost in thought, not really aiming in any direction. It was mid afternoon when he realized he'd meandered around until he'd reached the edge of the fourth ward.

Fiyero stopped for a minute, not sure that he wanted to proceed. He hadn't intended to head in the direction of Elphaba, but something was drawing him. He'd reached such a low point, a place of so few choices, that he didn't think there was a way to make it worse. He felt as though they were a heavy blanket covering him, pressing down on him and squeezing even the hatred from him. He just wanted something, anything, to be different. He wanted to feel something other than this deep, continuous ache in his chest.

So he wandered the rest of the way toward Elphaba's restaurant and dropped onto a bench in the shadows a few blocks away. He sat there until the minutes became hours, trying to decide what to do. There was a part of him that wanted to see her, wanted to confess all the things he felt and accept her apology. And a very, very tiny part of him wondered if maybe she'd managed to change. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if she might care for him after all. Then, the hate welled up in him again, and he was terribly conflicted.

So Fiyero continued to sit there, wanting to see her and wanting to run, wanting to care and wanting to die. The sun sank low in the sky, and he sat there, trying to decide which turn to take in this hideous drama that was his life.

Galinda brushed through the door of the restaurant just after lunch that same day, carrying a sheaf of papers and a large box. She smiled at Matvei, who'd just taken the afternoon shift, and hurried down the hall and up the stairs to find Elphaba. Her friend was sitting on the bed, reading to Mia.

"Elphie," Galinda huffed, out of breath.

Elphaba looked up, "Did you run all the way here?"

"Nearly. I'm later than I intended," Galinda said.

"Mia, go have Gervais fix you some lunch," Elphaba said, nudging Mia off the bed.

Mia complied, having grown restless with the books that morning. Elphaba crossed to the sofa, and Galinda followed, bringing the papers and box with her. She flipped open the box as she sat down.

"Here," Galinda offered, "I brought you something."

"What is it?" Elphaba looked confused.

"It's a hat."

Elphaba reached into the box and pulled out the somewhat crumpled item inside. It was black, with a wide, uneven brim. The top formed a cone, however the point was somewhat misshapen from being stored in the box. Elphaba raised an eyebrow, confused.

Galinda tossed the box away and explained, "I've had this since Shiz, something from my grandmother. I thought…you might need it. It'll hide your face and keep the attention off the green."

"Because the attention will be on the ridiculous hat?"

Galinda tried to smile, and nodded.

Elphaba looked concerned, "What are we doing that I'll be needing a hat?"

Galinda shuffled the papers and said, "Things are more complicated than we thought."

The two women had spent most of the last week planning the first move in their campaign against the wizard. Galinda had visited nearly every day, along with maintaining a busy schedule of appearances and interviews for the Wizard and his advisors. They were both tired, but Elphaba was itching with anticipation. She riffled through the papers, trying to determine what she was seeing.

"The first of those are drawings of the courtyard where the Wizard holds press conferences. He likes the security of having stone walls between him and any uninvited outsiders," Galinda explained.

"What is he announcing this time?" Elphaba asked.

Galinda took a breath, "He's going to tell his advisors and the press that he's beginning a new 'Animal Relocation Program'. He's going to sell it as a way to 'preserve their culture' and allow them to live 'in an environment that allows them to flourish'. It sounds appealing, to the naïve."

Elphaba's eyes narrowed, "And what is he really doing?"

Galinda looked deeply troubled, "He's going to take them south of Oz, into Ev, and 'eliminate' them."

"Eliminate?" Elphaba gasped.

Galinda nodded, "He's going to put the strongest to work hauling goods for a mission to search for habitable land beyond the desert. The weak, the young, and the old…he's going to kill them."

Elphaba just sat there for a moment, shaking her head and looking both sick and angry. Finally, she asked, "So, what of our plan? If we storm the press conference and strike, like we planned, is there a chance it will change anything?"

Galinda's eyes were wide, but resolute, "No," she whispered, "As long as the Wizard lives, the Animals will die. No one will stand against him, because everyone fears him. No one knows, or believes, that he's not as powerful as he claims."

Elphaba nodded, and her eyes were dark as she considered Galinda's statement, "So," she asked softly, "What are you saying?"

"We have to kill the Wizard."

Elphaba sat back, her expression tormented.

"Elphie, if we try to rally against him, we'll send Oz into a massive civil war. Even if we can form an alliance and cut off the Emerald City from Restwater, the Wizard will rally the military and thousands will die. And trying to gain support from anyone other than the Animals is difficult, because they believe the Wizard to be some sort of demi-god," Galinda explained.

"So…kill the Wizard?" Elphaba raised an eyebrow.

"Or live out our lives pretending this genocide is not occurring," Galinda followed.

Elphaba studied her hands for a few minutes. She looked deeply tormented. After a time, she looked up and whispered, "Mia…"

Galinda shook her head, "Not you, Elphie. You stay away from gunfire. Go rally the Animals. Get the bravest, those with the least to lose and the most courage. We need maybe seven, and a good marksman. Make sure they understand they're risking their lives, very literally. But if they die, it's to save millions."

Elphaba nodded solemnly, and the two of them spent the next hour laying out a plan. Galinda had good drawings of the courtyard, including the unseen access points used by the Wizard and his guards. She explained meticulously what the Wizard planned to do, where he planned to move and how his security operated. The guards were armed, that much was certain, with new and powerful guns that incited fear. Galinda was certain, however, that their focus was easily shifted.

"If we make them believe there is mutiny, they'll turn their focus, and a good marksman has a chance at a deadly shot," Galinda explained.

Elphaba chewed her lip, "This seems too easy. It seems as though, if it were possible, someone would have tried it."

Galinda sighed, "It's a suicide mission, Elphie. People will die. Animals may die. The guards will kill anyone who threatens the Wizard, and the advisors will try those who are left for treason. And no one's ever made it into the Wizard's courtyard before."

Elphaba took her friend's hand, "No one's ever had a Press Secretary who knew the secrets before."

There was a long, painful silence when neither of them said anything.

"And what about…after," Elphaba finally asked, "There will be anarchy if there's no one to succeed him…"

"That's when you step in. The people need to know what you know. They need to understand what Doctor Dillamond knew. We need to educate. And then, let them choose their own leader," Galinda explained.

Elphaba nodded, looking towards her overwhelming pile of books and notes. They were both quiet, considering their roles in this mutiny they were planning.

Finally, Galinda whispered, "Elphie…you understand…if the Wizard realizes it was me who revealed the palace secrets…if he lives…"

Elphaba looked away.

Galinda turned Elphaba's face back toward her, "Elphie…he'll have me executed. You have to know that."

Elphaba took Galinda's hands in hers and said, "That will not happen. I will not let anything happen to you? Understood?"

Galinda nodded slowly, tightening her grip on Elphaba's hands, "We're in this together. Come what may and hell to pay."

"Come what may…" Elphaba echoed.

They held each other for a long time, swallowing their fear and trying to draw strength from each other. Then, Elphaba hurried off to gather those that were willing to risk their lives for a chance to live.

It was dark when Fiyero finally decided to go into the restaurant. He told himself he was crazy, that he was walking into a disaster, but he was compelled to continue. As much as he wanted to hurt Elphaba for what she had done, hurting her would mean touching her. He wasn't sure that he could ever touch her again. It was a ridiculous contradiction of feeling, and he thought it might actually be the beginning of true insanity. Still, Fiyero walked through the door.

Matvei was behind the counter, and his expression darkened when he saw Fiyero, "Fiyero, is it? I'm not sure that you should be here."

Fiyero tried to look harmless, but couldn't manage a smile, "I just want to talk to her…"

"All of the talking lately has turned into yelling, and I believe the word hate was used last time," Matvei retorted.

Fiyero's temper flared, because he still felt that Elphaba deserved it, but he also understood the point, "If I can talk to her…I will not use the word hate."

Matvei studied him, trying to determine if he was sincere or even worthy of being within a few feet of Elphaba. Finally, after a few minutes, Matvei offered, "I'll ask her. But if she doesn't want you here… you leave. Understand?"

Fiyero nodded, and took a seat at one of the tables. The dining room was otherwise empty, and he assumed they were closed for the day. He sat there, studying his hands and wondering if he should just bolt for the door and never come back. He really had no idea what he was doing, or if anything good could come of this. Still, he waited. While he was lost in thought, Mia shuffled quietly over and climbed in the chair opposite him.

"Is your name Fiyero?" she asked suddenly.

He jumped, because she was so close to him. Mia continued to stare at him, and for the first time, Fiyero really saw her. She looked so much like Elphaba that it was hard to look at her. He studied her green-flecked eyes and her dark, tumbling hair. He looked over her face and her gangly limbs, and he wondered how many times Elphaba had done the same thing. Fiyero wondered how many times she'd studied this little girl and tried to determine who fathered her. And then he wondered if Elphaba cared at all.

Mia spoke up then, and broke into his thoughts, "Do you want to hear a secret?"

Fiyero looked confused, and then nodded, because he had no other idea how to answer a child.

"Do you know Master Avaric?" Mia asked in a whisper.

Fiyero nodded again.

Mia leaned in, her hair cascading around her face, and said, "He's my father."

Fiyero felt as though he'd been punched in the stomach. He drew a quick breath, and then tried to compose himself, because he was talking to a five year-old. He asked, "How do you know?"

Mia answered, "I heard Mama tell Miss Galinda. But I'm not going to tell anyone else, because Mat is my father. I love Mat. He said we're a family…and Master Avaric scares me…"

Fiyero clenched his hands into fists and tried to remain calm.

Mia sat back then and said, "You have to keep the secret. If you don't, you can't be my friend," she cocked her head sideways and flashed him a big smile.

Fiyero suddenly felt sick. He might've been justified in doubting the word of a five year-old child, but looking at her then, he knew. Fiyero knew Avaric better than most everyone. He'd fought with him and bantered with him. He'd seen him seduce women and talk his way out of every punishment Oz offered. With a tilt of her head and that wide, irresistible smile, Fiyero saw Avaric in Mia. True, the features were Elphaba, but the charm was Avaric.

"Can you keep the secret?" Mia was whispering.

Fiyero nodded, because he couldn't seem to do anything else.

Mia stayed in the chair for a few minutes, swinging her legs and twisting her hair around her fingers. She stared at Fiyero, and finally said, "You don't talk very much."

"I suppose I don't have anything to say," Fiyero grumbled.

Mia pouted at him a little, and then hopped down to go in search of someone who would talk with her.

Fiyero sat very still, staring down at his hands on the table. He thought he had control over his emotions this time. He thought he'd decided how to approach Elphaba. Now, though, he felt as though been struck in the chest. He hadn't been sure before if he wanted her apology, to try to forgive her, or just to purge all the pain he'd felt for the past six years. Still, he'd wanted to try to find a conclusion. Now, the ball of anger he'd been nursing for so long flared up again. She had lied to him again, at least by omission. Fiyero felt as though he was being manipulated yet another time, and he wanted to scream.

He put his head in his hands and struggled with his next move. He debated whether to just leave and write Elphaba off for good, or to stay and give her the chance to confess. He sighed heavily, because mostly, he just wanted answers. He wanted to understand how she could be so cold and manipulative, how she could make love and feel nothing. Fiyero wanted her to understand exactly how he felt.

And I can walk away now, he told himself, if Mia's not mine, I have no reason to feel guilty.

Fiyero sat back, resolved.

Upstairs, Elphaba had returned from a long afternoon of recruiting, explaining, and trying to calm the nerves of the Animals who had agreed to help her. She had tried to keep the plan as covert as possible, not wanting to cause any alarm or compromise the integrity of what they had to do. She had found seven willing candidates for a mission that would either be a fantastic success, or a disaster that would only result in increasing security for the Wizard. She'd also managed to secure a good pistol, which was strong and accurate. Elphaba was somberly excited, because she knew the risk they were taking. She also finally felt as though she were doing something significant.

Still, this method of changing things was very different than what she'd imagined at Shiz. She'd always envisioned rallying an army or leading a political campaign to overthrow the Wizard. She'd imagined convincing all of Oz that she was right, and eliminating the Wizard together. Assassinating him seemed almost too easy. Elphaba trusted Galinda, though. She trusted that this was the best way, and that the rest of his advisors wouldn't put up much of a fight. She took a deep breath and put her papers in order, just as Matvei entered her room.

"Fae," he started, "Master Fiyero is downstairs. He wants to talk to you."

Elphaba stopped abruptly. Her heart beat a little faster, and she hesitated.

"You don't have to see him, Fae. I'll send him on his way in an instant. I will not have him upsetting you," Matvei offered.

Elphaba shook her head and said, "No…I should talk to him."

"Are you certain?" Matvei asked carefully

"Yes," she answered, knowing he must think she was crazy. Fiyero had certainly not demonstrated that he felt anything but malice towards her. Still, Elphaba could not bring herself to reject him.

Maybe he feels differently today, she told herself as she followed Matvei back down the stairs.

When they reached the door to the dining room, Matvei slipped behind the counter and Elphaba pushed through the door. She stopped, seeing Fiyero studying his hands at one of the tables. She took a deep breath and swallowed over the lump in her throat. She approached quietly, and sat down in front of him.

Fiyero's looked up suddenly, and his expression was unreadable. He studied her for a moment, saying nothing. For Elphaba, it felt like an eternity passed, and her heart fluttered at how close he was, at how she could reach across the table and take his hand, if she dared.

After some time, he said, "Elphaba…I'm not even sure why I came here tonight…"

"Fiyero…" she started, and her voice caught. Elphaba panicked, because she was afraid she might be on the cusp of tears. She looked over and saw Matvei straightening up behind the counter. Mia had come out as well, as was climbing on the counter to try to reach the pies left over from the day.

Elphaba met Fiyero's eyes and said, "Why don't we talk upstairs?"

Fiyero looked momentarily torn, as though he weren't sure if he would need an easy escape route. Finally, he said, "Fine," and stood.

Elphaba rose and led the way towards the back hallway. Matvei saw their movement and started to protest, "We'll be fine," she assured him.

"Just know…I'll be listening. I there's any screaming…I will escort Master Fiyero to the street," he warned, giving Fiyero a hard look.

Elphaba nodded, grateful, and said, "Please keep Mia with you. I'm afraid we have a lot to discuss, and she needs to sleep.

Matvei agreed, and then she led the way upstairs. She kept going, all the way to her room, so they could talk undisturbed. Elphaba sat carefully on the bed, and Fiyero took the only chair, just across from her.

Neither spoke for some time, and Fiyero looked terribly conflicted. He looked at her with dark, troubled eyes, and clasped his hands together. Elphaba struggled to find words. She had always felt badly about hurting him, about having not realized how fragile his heart was, but now, she felt despicable. He had been kind and considerate to her, and he had tried to be her friend, even before Galinda. He had listened to her ramble on for hours, and made love to her as though she were his princess bride. And she had taken it for granted. Now, all Elphaba wanted to do was hold him, to wrap herself around him and tell him how naïve she'd been not to realize what she had.

She held back, though, and said, "Fiyero…I'm so sorry…"

Fiyero ran a hand through his hair and met her eyes, "Elphaba, you ripped my heart out. Maybe I should have been more of a man, maybe I was never fit to be a prince, or a king, but you ruined it for me. I could not marry my bride…I knew I would never love her like I should. I couldn't make anything matter! Oz sakes, I still can't! All because you wanted to play with my heart so I'd go along with some ridiculous scheme!"

"Fiyero…I was very young…" Elphaba tried.

"So was I! And yet somehow, by age nineteen, you'd managed to learn to lie and manipulate and bury your feelings! I'm not even sure you have feelings!"

Elphaba was genuinely hurt, "Fiyero…I'm not a machine. I have very strong feelings about the Wizard and his agenda! I want, very much, to work to stop the horrors he is causing! Perhaps I should have realized your feelings, but I'm not devoid of feeling!"

He plowed on, unimpeded, "Because of what you did, I gave up everything! You destroyed my belief in truly caring about anyone. What sort of sick place is this world, where people are free to lie and use each other? I'm not even sure that our species is worth saving, if this is how we treat one another! Let your Animals have this place, because I've found nothing but hate and apathy!"

Elphaba stood and walked towards the door for a moment, struggling, "I never pretended to love you Fiyero. I understand that I should have realized how you felt. You said you loved me. I should have listened, but I never said it back…"

Fiyero rubbed at his temples and then snapped back, "What sort of person continues to make love to another person they do not love? If you felt nothing for me, what other reason did you have for sleeping with me, other than to keep me going along with your plan?"

Elphaba was very quiet, "I suppose that was the reason…"

Fiyero stood up and paced the room a bit, and Elphaba couldn't determine if he was angry or sad. Eventually, he fixed her with hard look and said, "You made me hate you, Elphaba. If you'd walked away from me at Shiz, told me you simply wanted to fight your crazy fight and go along with Avaric's asinine blackmailing, I would've been hurt. It would have hurt to know you felt nothing for me…but I might've healed…"

"Fiyero…" Elphaba tried, but Fiyero cut her off.

"I worshiped you, Elphaba. I loved you because of your ridiculous scheming and strange, dark drive to change the world. I was certain you'd realize your feelings for me…eventually. But then I had to see you with…" he stopped, unable to say what he'd seen out loud.

Elphaba looked away, and whispered, "I never cared for him, Fiyero. It was never the same…"

Fiyero whipped around and said, "Stop! Even now…I can't picture it! It makes me want to vomit! It makes me hate you more, Elphaba."

Elphaba swallowed over the lump in her throat, "So, what then? I cannot apologize enough times to make you stop hating me."

Fiyero looked dark and pensive for several moments, before saying, "I want you to know how I felt, how I feel…"

Elphaba studied him as she searched for words, "Do you want to hurt me?"

Fiyero didn't answer, and Elphaba crossed back to the bed and dropped onto it, feeling terribly empty. She hurt for him, because she understood just how terribly he'd been wounded. Fiyero had never been a violent person, never even been particularly brave. For him to want to cause harm was a terrible change in his character.

Elphaba watched him, as he paced erratically and clenched his fists. He was so changed, so despondent and angry, and yet he was Fiyero. He was beautiful and unique, and he was the man who had held her and made her feel like she was a woman. Elphaba's chest began to ache with the reality of how strongly she felt toward him, in spite of it all.

Finally, after a long time of silence, she whispered, "Fiyero…and oh sweet Oz please don't scream, but when you were here the other day, I realized…" he looked at her strangely, and she continued, "I love you, Fiyero. I didn't know what love was, at Shiz. But…because of Mia…"

Fiyero's face was unreadable, and he looked frozen in place.

Elphaba whispered again, "I love you."

They stayed that way for some time, with neither moving. Elphaba tried to read Fiyero's thoughts, tried to see what was behind his dark, brooding eyes. She could tell nothing though, and so she looked at her hands. For the first time in her life, in spite of all that she'd been through, she was terrified. She wasn't angry or spiteful or bitter, she was afraid.

Elphaba was still looking at her hands when Fiyero crossed the room and came to sit beside her on the bed. She refused to meet his eyes, refused to even move. Therefore, she was absolutely stunned when he slid closer, and turned her face toward him. She'd barely processed what was happening when he kissed her.

Sweet Oz, he kissed her.

Elphaba reeled both emotionally and physically as he pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her. After a minute, she tried to say something, but Fiyero kissed her again and she lost the words. She felt on fire, as though he'd struck a match in a room charged with accelerant. It had been so long since anyone had really touched her, had loved her and helped her remember that she was, in fact, a woman. Elphaba clung to Fiyero, plunging her fingers into his hair and pulling herself into his lap. She straddled him and kissed him until she was breathless.

Elphaba knew she was out of control. She knew she was desperate and hungry, and at the mercy of her own loneliness. But she didn't care. She wanted to hold him and make love to him, to show him that she was capable of love. She wanted to heal him, because she'd even begun to hate herself for what she'd done.

Fiyero ran his strong hands over her body, and Elphaba clawed at her dress, trying to pull it off without pulling away from him. Fiyero undid the buttons and pulled it over her head, casting it aside. He pressed her back against the bed and tossed his shirt away. Elphaba's breath caught, as she ran her hands over the blue diamonds on his chest. He worked his mouth over her body, and she closed her eyes and surrendered. She let him pull off her undergarments and drop the rest of his clothes beside the bed.

Fiyero pressed his mouth back to hers then, and stretched his body out to touch all of hers, fingertips to toes. Elphaba trembled and clung to him, losing herself in a blur of sensation. She didn't want to consider where he'd gained such skill at lovemaking, but she gladly gave in to it. He ran his hands over her body, dipping one hand between her thighs and trailing kisses over her breasts. She moaned and clung to him, with her fingers in his hair.

"Fiyero…" she breathed, "Fiyero…"

He hovered over her then, and kissed her hard on the mouth. Elphaba placed her hands on his strong shoulders as he pressed himself inside of her. She gasped, because it had been so long. As they moved together, she understood how Fiyero had felt. She understood how different this was, because she loved him. He had always been able to make her feel good, physically, but now, she felt it in her soul.

Fiyero drove her to climax, and Elphaba clung to him as her body trembled and ached. She was breathless when he pulled away, and then he just watched her. He said nothing as her breathing slowed and she opened her eyes to stare at him. He kissed her and kept his arms around her until she was calm. Then, just before she could speak, he pressed his body into hers again.

Elphaba gasped, because her flesh was still tender and alert. Fiyero kissed her neck and clutched at her hair as he slowly worked her body back to the precipice of climax. Then, as she trembled and held to him, he let his body release within her.

Elphaba groaned and bit her lip. She hated the idea of where he'd become so accomplished at this, but as her body climaxed again, she cried out. She held to Fiyero as though she might be carried away by the raw power of the sensation. She was breathless and dizzy, and could not find words for some time.

"Fiyero," she finally whispered, burying her face in his shoulder, "My Fiyero…"

He kissed her, and her eyes began to close in exhaustion. As Elphaba fell into a deep, heavy sleep, she could almost feel the soft, nearly imperceptible brush of the butterfly's wings, as their lives were again irrevocably changed.

The following morning, Elphaba struggled to pull herself from sleep. The world felt foggy, at first, and she couldn't determine exactly what was different. After a few minutes, she realized she was naked beneath the quilts. Then, she blinked slowly and remembered. Like an avalanche, the night before came rushing back. Elphaba trembled, and turned to find Fiyero.

He was gone. She stared at the disheveled bed, and then trained her eyes around the entire room. Confused, she looked to the window, trying to determine the time. She had no idea what Fiyero had to do during the day, and wondered if perhaps he'd had an engagement. Elphaba sat up and searched around for her discarded clothes. She pulled them on hastily, and then stood. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of something on the door. It was still closed, and she crossed to it and pulled down the piece of paper that was tacked there.

It was one of her pieces of parchment, from the stack she kept on the other side of the room. She had papers pinned haphazardly on the opposite wall, with pens and ink scattered about. This paper must have come from her stash. Elphaba studied the messy penmanship, taking in what was written there.

How does it feel? Good riddance. Fiyero.

That's all there was, and it took her several minutes to realize what she was reading. Then, she remembered what he had said the night before.

I want you to know how I felt.

Suddenly, she understood. Elphaba clutched the paper and began to shake violently. Something welled up in her, something overwhelming and awful. She dropped to her knees, unable to stand, and a sob escaped her throat before she could contain it. She felt the tears, horrible, painful tears, welling up inside her and threatening to fall. Her throat ached as she fought them back. Elphaba knew she was on the brink of a terrible breakdown. She knew that if she let one tear fall, she would bawl like she'd never done in her entire life. So she focused on the anger instead.

She clutched the awful note and grit her teeth, setting her mind on how violently angry she felt. She stood up again and, trembling, paced the room a few times. As she passed the table beside her bed, she seized the heavy, glass pitcher that sat there. With an angry shriek, she hurled it across the room. It struck the wardrobe and shattered into a thousand tiny fragments, scattered about the room like the pieces of her heart.