Chapter Notes – It's been a while! Hopefully there are still people interested in this line
Reviews – Thank you much, to those who took the time to leave a note. Looking for 4 new reviewers before the next chapter goes up! Complain about my style. I can take it…
Dedication – To my mother. Thanks for always making me 'look it up in the dictionary'. You gave me my love of words and books. I'll keep on writing and hope that you'll be able to somehow read it all. You left too soon, and I will miss you so much…
Shuichi was excited to be out with Eiri again, walking toward the nearby street where a bunch of restaurants were clustered. It was chilly out but a pretty decent night, especially since there were no reporters around to hound them. Tonight was one of their nights off that he had bargained with the media for a while back. He was glad it was working out still and they were able to have some peace and quiet every once and a while.
Eiri rummaged in his coat pocket for his packet of cigarettes only to find it empty, "Damn…"
"Corner store?" Shuichi smiled up at him.
"I suppose…" He grumbled and they changed direction slightly.
"Welcome back, Shu-can!" The girl behind the counter cheered upon their entry.
"Thanks! It's great to be home again."
"It has been super quiet since you've been gone. Usually the whole neighborhood is thick with reporters."
"Hope you enjoyed the vacation. It's likely to start up again soon." He shrugged.
"That's okay. We get a lot of business from it anyway. What can I get you?"
"Oh… Ummm…" He looked toward Eiri.
"Cigarettes." He said, scowling at the girl as usual.
"I wasn't talking to you." She scowled right back.
"Why don't you get bent, sister? Try doing your job. Give me my smokes."
She made a face and turned back to Shuichi, "So anyhow… I really loved your Tokyo concert! It was awesome."
"Cool. I'm really glad."
"Hey!" Eiri barked and they both winced, "How about a little service, you?"
"I have a name you know." She glared back at him again.
"Yeah yeah… Wicked witch of the corner store. Now fork over the smokes!"
Kiko looked at Shuichi, "You want me to sell him cigarettes?"
"What's he got to do with it??"
"Settle down there, blondie! I'm talking to Shuichi!"
"Guys… do you really have to do this every time?" Shuichi sighed, at least glad that the girls working here didn't hit on Eiri unrelentingly like the rest of the female population. They would much rather give him a hard time, "Yes, he can have cigarettes."
"All right then." She leaned over and grabbed a pack, slapping them on the counter, "Here's another pack of nails for your coffin. Pay up."
He slapped some money on the counter, grabbed the pack and headed back out the door to go have one.
"Aww, give him a break, Kiko. He's having a rough day or two… or more…"
"Yeah, well… Every day is a rough day with that guy. Do you think his face would shatter if he smiled?" She laughed.
"He smiles plenty. Really. You two just love to fight."
"It's fun. He's a good challenge… Hey, do you think you could get him to autograph this for me?" She rummaged around then slapped a copy of 'Cool Blue' down on the counter.
"Whaa… You're reading one of his books??" Shuichi was stunned.
"Yeah, of course. He's kinda a dick in person, but yow… the guy can write…" She fanned her face, pretending to swoon.
"Seriously?? I never would have imagined you'd have anything to do with him!" He laughed.
"There's a reason the guy's famous. I've actually read all of his novels."
"I never would have guessed… Wow… But I think he might write something unfit to read in your book…" He shrugged sheepishly.
"Oooh… I could be the only owner of an Eiri Yuki insult-ograph." She laughed, "I could sell it on the internet for big bucks… Well, maybe some year." She put the book away, "So… Did you need anything?"
"Nah, we're on our way out to get dinner. I'm sure we'll be back soon though. Have a good night!"
"You too!"
He hurried out the door and fell into step with Eiri, "You really have to try harder with her and her sister…"
"Chh… The only time that chick's not riding her broom she's trying to hit me with it."
"I think you enjoy fighting with her and Hana."
"Maybe…"
"Hey, E…Ei… Umm…" He stopped talking.
"Huh? What's going on over there?"
"It's really okay to call you by your first name?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"I dunno… It just feels so… sacred or something."
Eiri chuckled, "You've known me for almost a year now. It's still a big deal?"
"It is to me." He nodded, "So you're sure it's okay?"
"I'm positive. It's just the crap name my parents saddled me with… and you said you wouldn't call me Yu—"
"Don't say it!" He covered his ears.
"Would you rather start calling me by my family name, Uesugi?"
His arms dropped to his sides again, "Well, no… It's kinda hard to say and it's not really cute at all…"
"It really isn't." He agreed, "At least I didn't get stuck with my brother's name. Poor sucker…"
"Your sister got a normal name."
"And that's all that's normal about her." He smirked, "It's really fine."
"Okay…"
"Try it."
"Umm…"
"Not even close."
"It's gonna take me some time to get used to. That's all… What about your fans?"
"They'll get over it. Or not. I guess I'll find out soon enough. I don't really care one way or the other. I'll probably have to live in limbo between both for a while."
"Yeah… Oh! Hey, can we have Italian?? I could eat about ten pounds of those bow tie pasta things right now."
"Sounds like a plan."
Eiri had his first cigarette in a restaurant in a long time and enjoyed it thoroughly. Shuichi was going on at length about the tour and Eiri just sat back and listened to his enthusiasm. At least he wasn't walking on eggshells around him now. Shuichi was very resilient and he didn't seem to be letting all the drama of the situation get to him, but rather he made more of his own.
"… The only problem is that now I have to start working on more songs… They want us to release a new CD within 6 months…" He leaned forward, his forehead hitting the table.
"What's wrong with that?"
"I'm just afraid I won't come up with anything. You said yourself that I stink at writing."
"You do… but just enough to write songs that people love. You need more confidence instead of just writing to prove me wrong. You have some potential, I suppose…"
"Really?" He sat up again, "Really really?"
"Don't get too excited." He warned, trying to fend off an outburst.
"I'm trying not to… That was almost a compliment!"
"Mmh… I would like to write a song for you."
"Really??" He squeaked with a big grin.
"Why did I bring this up now?" Eiri's hand went to his forehead.
"Are you just mocking me? Or are you being honest with me?" Shuichi peered at him across the table.
"I am being honest."
"Wow… Uh… Why?"
"It is something I was thinking about while I was in New York… after you left. So I started writing something…"
"You did? Can I see it?" His eyes were enormous in his face, the tide was just barely being contained.
"When we get home."
"You have it with you now?"
"… No…" The hesitation gave him away.
"You're so lying!" He jumped up from his seat and tried to search Eiri, getting fended off and finally restrained, pulled into his lap.
"Control yourself." He said, "You're drawing too much attention."
"Oh…" He noticed everyone in the restaurant was looking at them, "Hehh… Hi!" He waved his restrained hand as much as he could, "You could just give it to me and not be so cruel."
"You could learn to calm down. I think we're even."
"Please?"
"No. Go sit down or you'll never get to see it."
"Fine…" Shuichi resumed his seat, "Please, please?"
"Shu…" He said, calming him down from using his name in an affectionate way.
"Sorry. I'll wait." He huffed.
"It's personal. I don't want you to read it here."
"Okay." He nodded, "I'm just curious."
"I couldn't tell." Eiri's voice was filled with sarcasm.
"I could be more excited if you like." Shuichi smiled neatly in response.
"No, I wouldn't." He smirked.
There was a beep to his phone then so he fished for it in his pocket, "Oh… Hiro." He smiled at the text message, "He says he woke up and went directly to Kyoto to see Ayaka. Her family is furious."
"Good. It's good for them to be furious. They will be even more furious when they marry." He drank his beer then held up the glass, "And even I will dance at their wedding."
"There's no part of you that's jealous?"
"None. I am relieved that she has found someone that is not an obligation. I am relieved that I have found someone…"
"Someone who loves you and not your fame." He smiled and closed the phone.
"True… Ayaka is a good person but from a conservative family. Hiroshi has a good heart, but a much less conservative life. I think they will be good for each other."
"I think so too."
Eiri looked up behind Shuichi quiet pointedly then, "What are you doing here?"
Shuichi turned around, "Seguchi-san!"
"I only want to talk… Congratulations on your successful tour, Shindo-san."
"Thank you…"
"Eiri…"
"How the hell did you track me down here?"
"The media is all over your return, but from a rather oddly respectful distance. There was just a picture of you two in this very restaurant on the news." He smiled, "I saw it on the TV in the limo so I had the driver change direction…"
"Aah… Fantastic. It's started already." He huffed and crushed out his cigarette.
"Could I have a private word with you, Eiri?"
"No. You need to leave me alone. There will be no private word… I appreciate that you tried to do what you felt was right, but it wasn't. I remember everything now. It will take time for me to recover, but I will. You may tell my sister that I am home and that I am doing well. If she wishes to see me, she may come to our home. You are not welcome for the time being. I hope that you will not seek any retribution by harming Shuichi's career… You cannot control everything, Touma."
Seguchi smiled still, never wavering as was his way, "I am sorry you feel this way, yet I understand. I accept responsibility, but I think you are wrong to punish me for only wanting the best for you."
"Despite your efforts, I do have the best for me. I am fine. I am home. I am with Shuichi. That will not change. No matter what you or my family thinks."
"You upset your sister, Eiri."
"I always have. That is nothing new. Now leave."
"As you wish. Excuse me." He turned and walked away.
"Amazing…" Shuichi shivered.
"What is?" Eiri took out another cigarette and lit it.
"I'm just amazed by your defending me… From someone who you've known longer too."
"I have known him long enough to know that he can be very manipulative behind his innocent smile. I won't let him hurt your career… Not that I believe he would at this point. You are too popular and profitable for NRG. He cannot touch you without ending his own career."
"You really think so?"
"Yes… Just be cordial in your dealings with him and if you feel upset by his behavior do not wait to tell me so."
"All right." He nodded, "Thank you."
"Not necessary."
"You'll even stand up for me when your family pressures you to get married again?"
"I will tell them I am only marrying one person. Eventually they will get the idea and leave us alone."
"I will look beautiful in white!" He grinned.
"Shut up." He smiled in that very real way that made Shuichi melt, "You definitely shouldn't wear white anyway."
"Mean…"
Now Eiri's phone buzzed and he looked at it, frowned and put it away on mute.
"Who now?"
"Mika. Touma has already filled her in as fast as possible. They are quite the team…"
"I guess we won't have happy family holidays any time soon."
"No. Or peace." He looked around, people still looking their way and talking, "Maybe it's time to move to a new neighborhood."
"But I like this place. It's closer to the studio, to the subway, there's a nice movie theater down the street and a grocery store and an arcade around the corner… Do you really hate it?"
"No… It's going to be strange no matter where we go, I suppose. I should just get used to it. I have my own fame and you have yours. The two at the same restaurant table in a neighborhood that is usually quiet, draws even more attention."
"And your next book is due out soon too, right? Are you nearly done? With everything that's been going on… I bet you're behind schedule."
"I have some work to do but I've told my editor that it will be longer than expected in arriving. The publisher is aware too. There is no rush… Are you tired?"
"Wide awake."
"Then after dinner, let's go see what's playing at the movie theater you love so much."
"Yeah."
Later, at the theater, he sat in the dark with Eiri, just enjoying the peace of the moment. Holding his hand and leaning on him. The family would take time to sort out. Their lives would too. For a change though, he was confident about things. There was no longer that feeling of worry that Eiri would be leaving him or kicking him out. They were in it together for the long run. At home Eiri had another smoke and presented him with a folded piece of paper.
"Do not be too harsh." He said and sat down on the sofa nearby.
Shuichi read it in amazement, glad that he had waited until they were home. It made him cry.
"I can't sing this…" He sniffled.
"No?"
"No… But I will hold it in my heart forever. Thank you for this. It's beautiful." He wiped his eyes.
"It's all true…" He said quietly.
"I know… I love you Eiri Uesugi."
"I love you, Shu… Let's start again. So I can be nice to you this time."
"No… I don't want to start again. I'm fine with everything… Because you're here with me at last."
Eiri put out the cigarette and sat closer to him, Shuichi curling into his arms and crying wholeheartedly.
"I missed you so much…"
"I missed you too. You can stop missing me now."
"I'm trying."
After a while of his trying to get himself under control again Eiri's phone buzzed on the coffee table, a reminder tone instead of a message.
"What's that?" He gulped.
"I forgot… I have an interview tomorrow."
"An interview?"
"Yes. Morning Tokyo was trying to get me to go on before I left. I agreed to tomorrow, knowing I would be back."
"Should I go with you?"
"You need to rest. You may want to get up in time to watch, however."
"I never watch that show."
"You're lazy and it's on too early, that is why." He shifted and got up.
"Do you have to go to bed now?" He complained, having gotten very comfortable there.
"Soon… I have something else for you." He went to his luggage where it was still sitting in the closet by the door and lay the bigger piece down, unzipping it.
"What, a tourist NY T-shirt? Suuu-fenir?"
"No." He produced a plastic bag with English writing and musical notes on it, coming back to the sofa and looking down on Shuichi, "I know it's none of my business to make suggestions about your career… You can tell me to keep out of it and I will. If you want to know my thoughts, I will share them. Here…" He gave the bag over to Shuichi's hands and he looked inside quickly, wondering what Eiri was meaning related to this souvenir.
"CDs…"
"English language music." He sat down again, "It is what is popular in the U.S.A. now in pop and electronica and alternative."
"Wow… This is so cool. Thank you!"
"Welcome." He kept quiet while Shuichi went through them, trying to read the covers and band names, "I forgot… I don't have a CD player. Only MD." He frowned.
"My sound system has both. You can record them to MD."
"You're going to let me use your stereo?" He melted, "You really do love me."
"Don't break it or I won't love you very much…"
"I won't!… So… What do you mean by this? Are you trying to tell me that I should give up because we'll never be as good as these bands?"
"No."
"Then what?"
"Are you sure you want my opinion?"
"Yeah I do!"
"All right… I am not sure where you want to go with your career, but it seems aimed at replacing Ryuichi Sakuma as the top of J-pop singers."
"I would love to be as good as him some day." He nodded.
"Is that all?"
He shrugged, "I guess I thought that was as good as it could get."
"No confidence…" He shook his head.
"Maybe not. You think I can do better?"
"I know I will regret saying this later… I am trying to tell you that you are just as good as any of the bands on these CDs. That you can be more than just a Japan-only band, if you want to… But you have to do a few things differently."
"Like what?"
"Release music that Americans can understand. Not even Ryuichi could make it work over there. If you can do that, you will have surpassed him and NRG. From there, you can go anywhere. You will be a world band."
He blinked, absorbing what Eiri was telling him.
"You really think that? That I could do that?"
"I believe you are a very good singer. I believe your band works with you well. The public is fascinated by you. Where you want to go is your decision."
He nodded again, looking at the collection of CDs, "I don't know nearly enough English to write for an American audience."
"I do…"
He looked up, shocked, "Are you actually offering to help?"
"I am… I can write for you or at least help you by editing... You will have to convince your band-mates that this is a good idea. I suspect they do not like me so much…"
"Eiri… That's so nice of you."
"It would be a new challenge for me to write lyrics." He shrugged slightly, "I want you to do well."
"It would be wonderful to work with you… I think I'm dreaming."
"Don't start to cry again…" He gave Shuichi a friendly shove so he toppled over amongst the CDs.
"This is better than all of my dreams. Wow… I really would think I was dreaming except for the CD that's jabbing into my side right now!"
"I'm leaving before you soak the sofa." He got up and wandered off toward the bedroom.
"Thank you, Eiri!!" He shrieked after him, watching his shoulders hitch up from the volume before he rounded the corner.
He got up from the sofa and slid over to the stereo cabinet that he had been forbidden to even look at, checked it over for controls and put in a CD then rummaged in his things for a blank MD, putting it in to copy. He used the headphones to listen, not wanting to annoy Eiri while he was winding down for the night. There he lay on the floor, absorbing the different sounds and voices. Even though most of the words made no sense it all seemed to flow together beautifully. This one band was much better than Grasper, worlds better than his own band. More polished, the studio work was very tight and professional. He wondered how Eiri could possibly think that they could get that good. Maybe he just had that much confidence in his own writing skills.
After a while he felt a hand on his chest and opened his eyes, looking up to see Eiri kneeling there and smiling down on him. It was such a warm feeling to be there, to know that Eiri wanted to partner with him. To help. He took off the headphones.
"Good?" He asked.
"Very… I really do appreciate this." He reached up and touched his cheek, "I love you…"
"Shu…" He joined Shuichi there on the floor, embracing him slowly for a long while, then breaking it off somewhat reluctantly at last, "I have to get some sleep."
"Will it annoy you if I come to bed now? I don't want to keep you awake."
"I'll be fine. Come on."
He got ready for bed, washing up in the bathroom, noticing the container of pills on the counter with English writing on it. He picked it up and sighed, worried… Then just gave up and went to bed, climbed in slowly, trying not to disturb Eiri who already looked asleep… but he was still awake after all. Eiri moved over and hugged him. More affection, unforced, no games, no teasing… Shuichi started to tremble.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry… I should go sleep on the sofa." He tried to get up but was held.
"No… Stay… Why are you shaking? Tell me…"
"I'm just so happy. So happy." He wept and Eiri held him until he fell asleep.