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Ron Weasley knew exactly what he wanted in life after the second war ended. He wanted Hermione Granger. He had made several attempts into getting her into bed, but Hermione had refused to sleep with him until after they were married.

When this day finally came, Ron had put up with all of the wedding guests, especially his aunt Muriel, all of the embarrassing stories that they told, and all of the dancing, just so that he could end his night, properly.

Hurriedly, Ron said his goodbyes to his family and Ginny gave him a wink of understanding while shoving in a few things into his bag. He gave Harry a pat on the back while he gave him a knowing smile "Good luck mate." Hermione took her time saying goodnight to everyone and gave every single person what seemed a twenty minute long thank you. Ron quickly grabbed his bag from Ginny and rushed Hermione out of the reception.

He tried driving home as fast as he could but he had to constantly slow down because Hermione was nagging him in his ear. "Slow down Ron, please."

He opened the door quickly and ran inside. He started undoing his clip-on tie; he unclipped it from his shirt and threw it onto the couch. He started unbuttoning his shirt when Hermione stared at him through the door frame, "Ronald, aren't you forgetting something?"

Ron went back outside, swept Hermione off of her feet and ran her upstairs, when he finally set her on their bed. "There is no need to rush Ron, please, just take it slow. We have all night." She gave him a sly smile and seductively took off her white gloves.

It was killing Ron not to just pounce on Hermione right now and take her right then and there. He set down his bag and took off his shirt. Then, he took off his dress pants and was left with just his boxers. "Ron, I can get those for you." Hermione teased, giving Ron a very brazen look.

With all of his strength, he kept his wand in. Walking over to the bed, he got up and was now on top of Hermione; who had somehow removed all of her clothing with the exception of her knickers. He leaned down and kissed his new wife so long, and so hard- no pun intended- that she almost zoned out for a bit.

Ron felt a tingling feeling go up his leg and up his thigh and settle right in his, "wand" area. Hermione's hands went roaming through his boxers when Ron let out a loud, painful scream. Hermione looked at him with wide eyes as she didn't know what she had done wrong. Ron's face almost turned purple and he clenched his teeth, "Not so tight!"

"Ron, I'm not touching you! My hands are on your thighs, see?!" Hermione exclaimed, patting him on his thighs.

In his horror, Ron looked down and let out a higher pitched scream, something was moving in his trousers. "SPIDER!!!" Ron yelped, jumping up and trying to shake it off, in the end he had to smack it off, but knowing his Quidditch skills, he wasn't so good at aiming and hit an already sore spot.

Then, to his and Hermione's surprise, Arnold the pygmy puff came out of his boxers. Ron held himself as Hermione started to laugh hysterically on the bed. Ron fell to the floor in pain, while holding in between his legs.

"That little devil spawn! He nearly took off my- well, you know what!" Ron yelled hysterically, not knowing what to do with himself.

"Yes, I do know what you're talking about. I'm guessing that you won't be able to perform, tonight, will you? Since your fragile state" Hermione started to chuckle again.

"No… not really. My manhood almost got torn off by a little ball of fluff!" Ron started to feel a swelling between his legs and couldn't put his legs together without feeling immense pain. "I'm going to get Ginny for this."

Hermione couldn't stop laughing, but managed to say between laughs, "I guess he likes his meat raw."

AN: A few of you can't review this chapter because you reviewed the other "7th chapter."
Reasons why I took down the previous chapter: I feel that it personally was not my best work and I could have made it a lot better, Personally, I don't like flames and it bugged me so much that I took it down, but just wait, you will be getting another "disturbing" chapter and I won't take that one down.
Onto happier things! Ten more days until Harry Potter comes out!!!! But because of this, I got inspired ;)
I saw a picture of Ginny and Dean talking to Luna on the train. On Ginny's shoulder, was Arnold!!!! :D It's my background picture now and I absolutely love Arnold and he is just so cute! Ron however, is not quite fond of him right now ;)
So if you want to review, but it tells you that you can't, there is always anonymous reviewing, only you put your screen name there so I know who you are. But that's only if you liked the chapter, you really don't have to go out of your way to tell me that you hated it.
Anyways, I'm off to go dance for "South Pacific" rehersal, bye bye!