Hey, look at this; I'm updating. With a pretty long chapter, too… woot. Keep the reviews coming, and Happy Friday!

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Marissa watched silently from the bed as Alex hung up the phone, gave a weak smile to her and Summer, and headed down the stairs. She was still in shock about what had just happened, still having trouble wrapping her head around it. The heady, dizzy feeling clogged her mind, and even though she knew she had almost done something she shouldn't have done, the guilt had definitely not settled in yet.

However, Summer was not quite as flustered as Marissa was, and was perfectly fine about dishing out the guilt. "Oh my god!" she hissed as soon as Alex's footsteps had faded. "What do you think you were doing?"

Marissa avoided her eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, please," Summer scoffed. "I saw you, Coop, you totally were going to kiss her."

Marissa closed her eyes briefly. Crap, Summer saw everything. She sighed, and then looked up at her friend. "Well, I didn't kiss her, did I?" she said meekly.

Summer raised an eyebrow. "No, but not for lack of trying. If I hadn't walked in you two would be playing some serious tonsil hockey right now."

Marissa groaned. "Don't say tonsil hockey. It's lame."

"You know what else is lame?" asked Summer with a ferocious glint in her eye. She picked up a fluffy pink pillow, and deftly whacked Marissa in the head with it. "Cheating on your boyfriend!"

"I wasn't cheating!" protested Marissa, shoving the pillow away from her face. She looked pleadingly up at her friend. "At least, I don't want to be cheating."

Summer frowned at her. "Well, Coop, a little late for that."

Groaning again, Marissa fell back on the pillows. "You're right," she admitted miserably. "I completely wanted to kiss her. I'm scum."

Seeing her friend lying despairingly on the bed, a little bit of the fight deflated out of Summer. "Oh, come on," she said, sighing and sitting next to Marissa's knee. "You're not scum- you're just... confused."

Marissa gave a weak little chuckle, and then sat up. "Confused? About some things I guess- like Ryan. But not about Alex." She sighed. "I really do like her. When we were talking, I wanted to kiss her so badly. I couldn't help myself."

Summer closed her eyes. "I was afraid of that," she said. Then she opened them, and stared fixedly at her friend. "You know what you need to do?"

"Go find some whiskey?" suggested Marissa dejectedly.

"No," scolded Summer quickly. "You need to get your priorities straight."

"No pun intended, I'm sure."

"Oh, ha, ha, ha," said Summer bluntly. "No, seriously, you do. Okay, you like Alex, and there's nothing you can do about it. But, you also like Ryan. You love Ryan. What you need to do is figure out who you can't live without." She fixed Marissa with her sternest look. "You need to go talk to him."

"Oh, come on," Marissa said despondedly. "I can't go talk to him now, he's asleep. He just worked a twelve hour shift."

But Summer was already pushing her to her feet. "That's no excuse," she insisted. "If he's asleep, wake him up. Trust me, he'll want to talk to you."

Marissa was still doubtful. "What am I supposed to say to him? 'Hey, Ryan, how was work? Oh, and Alex is back and I almost kissed her!'"

Summer rolled her eyes. "You don't have to tell him about Alex," she said. "Just- ask him to help out with the surprise party or something. Spend some time with him."

Marissa sighed, slipping on her shoes. "You know, the thing about that surprise party is that it's actually supposed to be a surprise. You're not supposed to know about it, Sum."

"Oh, please, Coop," laughed Summer. "You know you're no match for me."

"That is very true," grumbled Marissa as Summer pushed her out the door.

Alex and Seth were gone; they had left a note on the counter that they had taken Marissa's car down to the police station and would be back soon. "I guess we're taking my car then," said Summer amusedly.

They were at the Cohen's house in less than five minutes. Summer stopped the car in front of the front door, and then stared at Marissa expectedly. "Okay," she said. "Go on, then."

Marissa squirmed a bit in her seat. "You're not coming with me?"

Summer scoffed. "Yeah, right, Coop. This is about you and Ryan, not me." She checked her hair in the rearview mirror. "Plus, I have to go over the guest list again. No way am I tolerating the entire typical student-skank body."

"Right," said Marissa, rolling her eyes. She opened the car door and stepped out. "Call me later, okay?"

"Duh!" said Summer, waving as she pulled away.

Sighing, Marissa walked up the front steps and knocked twice on the door. Kirsten answered it with a smile. "Hi, Marissa," she said warmly. "Seth and Alex are still down at the station, but I'm sure Seth's cell is on."

She thinks I'm here for Alex, Marissa realized with a slight twinge of guilt. I guess that says something about how often I've been over here for my boyfriend. "Actually," she said, "I was wondering if Ryan was up yet."

A slight look of surprise crossed Kirsten's features, but it was quickly replaced by the smile. "Oh," she said. "Well, I don't think he's quite awake yet, but I'm sure he'd be happy to see you. You can just go out and wake him."

Marissa thanked her, and headed out to the pool house. Sure enough, all the curtains were shut, but the door was unlocked. She pushed it open slowly, trying to limit the amount of blaring sunlight that squeezed through into the dark room. "Ryan?" she whispered. "Are you in there?"

After a moment, she heard a mattress groan as its occupant rolled over. "Marissa?" a bleary voice asked. "Is that you?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Sorry to wake you."

A light clicked on, and the room came into focus. Ryan was sitting up in bed now, a faint urgency making its way into his eyes. "Is something wrong?" he asked. He pushed the covers off of himself to reveal he was wearing a pair of blue Star Wars pajama pants and a wifebeater. Marissa hid a smile with difficulty.

"Uh, no," she said quickly. "No emergency, I was just in the neighbourhood and I was wondering if you were available. You know, to hang out." She paused, and then decided she couldn't resist. "Are those Seth's pajamas?"

Ryan looked down and grinned. "Oh, right. No, they're actually mine."

Marissa raised an eyebrow. "Gift from Seth?"

"Well, yeah."

They laughed, and Marissa almost felt like she could really be comfortable around Ryan. "So," she said with a smile. "Do you want to play some Playstation or something?"

Ryan raised an eyebrow, brushing his shaggy blonde hair out of his eyes. "Marissa Cooper challenging me to video games," he observed. "Well, there's something you don't see everyday. Sure, why not."

They played a few games, all of which Marissa lost spectacularly at, and all of which Ryan teased her unyieldingly about. "You know," he said after a spirited round of Call of Duty, "the point of the game is to have your opponent step on the mines you leave out, not to step on them yourself."

"Oh shut up," she retorted. "I forgot I had put it there! These buttons are so confusing." She smiled at him. They hadn't just hung out like this in a long time, and she found that she had missed it. Ryan gave her a comfortable feeling, like she was safe.

He grinned back at her, and stretched, leaning back against his mattress. "You know," he said, "I missed this. And I really am sorry about being so distant lately."

Marissa nodded solemnly. "Yeah, I know." She paused, and then spoke again. "Why did you do it? The distance, I mean."

Ryan stared at the TV screen, his eyes clouded. "I just- I don't know."

There was a brief silence. The relaxed atmosphere that had filled the pool house thinned out a bit as Ryan continued to stare blankly ahead and Marissa turned her gaze slowly around the room, lost in thought. She knew of course, that she truly cared for Ryan, but here he was again, spacing out, in his own little world. It had been like this for years, a few moments of comfort, and then the crash of depression and sadness. Something within Ryan was just off. Suppressing a sigh, she turned back to her boyfriend, about to suggest another game. Then she saw it.

At first, it looked just like another shirt or pair of odd pajama pants tucked into an open drawer on Ryan's dresser. And then she recognized the colours, the shape. A small, red and white hat was placed tenderly in an open sock drawer, just next to Ryan's bedside. Marissa's stomach tightened as she realized what it was. A yamaclaus. Lindsay's Christmakkuh invention from two years ago. She felt a sudden burst of anger. I knew it, she thought bitterly. I knew he wasn't over her. Even after all this time.

Ryan's voice broke her out of her reverie. "Marissa?" he was saying softly. "Sorry, I zoned out. Listen, can I ask you something?"

She tried to keep the frostiness out of her voice. "Sure."

Ryan cleared his throat. "Tomorrow I was going to go out and shop around for Summer's gift. For her birthday, I mean." He glanced at her. "I was wondering if you'd come with me."

For a second, Marissa was sorely tempted to refuse, to send his hopes crashing down to teach him for keeping that yamaclaus in his sock drawer. But then she remembered how upset Summer and Seth had both been when they had realized her feelings for Alex. A stab of guilt twinged in her stomach, and she forced a small smile onto her face. "Sounds good."

A grin spread across Ryan's face. "Great," he said happily. He turned back to the TV. "Another round?"

But despite the fact that she had resolved to work things out with him, Marissa suddenly felt like she couldn't stand another minute in the company of her boyfriend. "Actually," she said, getting up, "I really have to be going. I promised my mom, so."

His face fell a bit, but Ryan nodded. "Oh," he said bluntly. "Well, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded, and headed toward the door. "Yeah. Talk to you later." She left the pool house, still fuming slightly. He's got some nerve, she thought furiously as she pulled out her cell phone to call Summer to pick her up. Asking me to go shopping with him when he's still hung up over Lindsay. She punched the first few numbers into her phone. I wish he could just be honest with me. Would it be so hard to say what he means? Alex always does...

She stopped herself. She was halfway through dialing Summer's number, but she had just realized the truth of what she had been thinking. Alex always did say what was on her mind, touchy subject or not. She had done that just that morning, when she had wanted to know why Marissa had wanted to hide her presence from Ryan so badly. She hadn't stewed over it, snooping around behind her back. She had just come right out and asked.

Slowly, Marissa pressed the 'end' button on her cell phone. She thought of what Kirsten had said earlier. 'Seth and Alex are still down at the station, but I'm sure Seth's cell is on.' She started to dial a new number into her phone. Suddenly it wasn't Summer she wanted to come pick her up.

The phone rang twice before Seth picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Seth," Marissa said hastily. "Are you and Alex still at the station? I was thinking you guys could maybe come and pick me up from your house. I'm sure Summer's busy with some guest list fiasco."

"No, we left the station about fifteen minutes ago," Seth answered. "I just dropped Alex off at Summer's." He paused. "Wait, why are you at my house?"

Marissa felt a little deflated. Alex wasn't even with Seth anymore, she was already back at Summer's. She answered Seth's question half heartedly. "Oh, I was visiting Ryan."

Seth sounded surprised. "Really? Well, that's great, I guess. Sure you want me to come pick you up?"

Marissa rolled her eyes. "Yes. I'm sure."

"Right. I'll be there in two minutes."

Five minutes later, with Marissa now sitting on the front steps, Seth pulled up in her car. "I forgot you had this," she said, getting into the passenger seat.

Seth raised an eyebrow. "Did you? Wow, Ryan must have had you pretty distracted."

"Ugh, Seth," she groaned. "Quit it."

He frowned. "Not such a good visit?"

"Well, we made plans for tomorrow," she sighed. "But I don't think either of our hearts were really in it." Especially his, she thought bitterly. He's too busy mourning Lindsay.

"At least you're hanging out," Seth said pointedly. Then he stopped at the end of the driveway. "Hey, should I drop you at home, or what?"

Marissa sat there for a moment, thinking. She could go home, but that would just mean sulking in her room and avoiding her mom, which didn't sound like much fun. On the other hand, she could go to Summer's... her stomach gave a lurch. Alex was there.

The decision was made instantly. "Summer's," she said firmly. "I don't want to go home yet."

"Sure," said Seth. As he turned left, he glanced sideways at her. "That doesn't have anything to do with the fact that Alex is at Summer's, does it?"

"No," said Marissa, too quickly.

"Right," said Seth, obviously not believing her. "You know, I'm definitely not against the lady loving, but you're not exactly making your life any easier with this."

Marissa ignored him. She had just remembered something. "Hey, how did it go at the police station? I forgot to ask on the phone."

Seth took a deep breath. "Oh yeah," he said. "Well, they had this address, and a name, and they wanted to see if Alex could identify them."

"And could she?"

"She knew the address," he confirmed. "But not the name. She said that back when she was with Adam, she would sometimes pass that house on the way to his place."

Marissa frowned. "What does that mean?"

Seth shrugged. "I don't actually know," he admitted. "She's supposed to go down to LA tomorrow with my dad, to go by the place again and see if anything jogs her memory." He paused. "Honestly, I think the police were expecting her to know that name. I think they're kind of grasping at straws."

That didn't sound good to Marissa. "They don't have any leads at all?"

"We'll find out tomorrow, I guess."

They were almost at Summer's house. "Hey," said Marissa suddenly. "Are you going with Alex tomorrow, as well?"

Seth smiled sheepishly. "Uh, probably not. I mean, they told her to bring someone along with her again, but it's most likely not going to be me. I kind of messed around at the station a bit."

Marissa rolled her eyes. "What'd you do? Hold a stapler like a gun and try and shoot someone with it?"

Seth coughed. "You're not actually that far off."

"I don't even want to know," Marissa groaned.

Seth gave her a sideways glance again as they pulled into Summer's driveway. He parked the car, and then turned to face her. "Look," he said. "I know that you're trying really hard with Ryan, and everything, and you probably don't want to hear this... but at the station, well." He sighed. "It felt pretty obvious that I wasn't the one she really wanted to bring."

Marissa tried to keep the sudden giddiness she felt from showing on her face. "Well," she said in a forced calm. "You did try to shoot her with a stapler gun."

A lopsided grin made its way onto Seth's face. "Well, I didn't try and shoot her. And it wasn't a stapler, exactly."

Marissa got out of the car quickly. "Don't want to know!"

Laughing, Seth got out as well. "Your loss. It's a good story."

"I'm sure."

They made their way up to Summer's door, and let themselves in. Summer and Alex were sitting in the living room, watching a movie on the big screen TV. Summer looked riveted, practically glued to the screen. Alex was sitting upside down on an armchair, playing with the remote, and looked bored out of her mind.

Seth grinned as he took in the scene in front of him. "Having fun?"

"Shh!" Summer hissed. "He's totally going to propose!"

Alex looked toward the hallway. "Thank god," she said, swinging around so she was right side up. She looked in desperation at Seth and Marissa, and sprang out of her seat. "She's making me watch chick flicks."

Summer waved a hand at her, absentmindedly. "It's good for you. Now shh. Cohen, come see this, it is so cute."

Seth walked toward Alex's vacated armchair like a convicted man walking to the noose. "Hellboy," he muttered under his breath. "Think of Hellboy."

Alex made her way swiftly across the room toward Marissa, who was still standing in the front hallway. "I swear," she said. "That movie is like torture."

Marissa grinned and glanced at the TV screen. "I've seen that one. It's not too bad."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Right." She motioned toward the kitchen. "Hungry?"

Marissa nodded, and followed Alex into the kitchen. The blonde opened the fridge and pulled out some peanut butter. "Sandwich?"

Marissa nodded again, and took a seat at the table. For a moment, the only noise was the distant sounds of the movie Summer and Seth were watching, and the rustle of plastic as Alex opened a bag of bread. Then she looked up at Marissa. "Look," she said. "About this morning-"

Marissa who had been expecting this, just waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it," she said hastily. "No problem."

"It's just that I know you and Ryan-"

"Forget it," said Marissa firmly.

Alex hesitated for a moment, and then gave a small smile. "Right." She started to spread some peanut butter on a piece of bread, and then looked up again. "So, did you talk to Seth about the police station?"

"Oh," said Marissa. "Yeah, he said you're going down to LA tomorrow."

"Yeah," confirmed Alex, getting strawberry jam out of the fridge. "Although, I don't think he's going with me this time. He was kind of more of a hindrance than a help, to tell you the truth."

Marissa smiled. "He did mention that he might not be invited back."

Alex laughed. "Well, he's got that right." There was a short pause, and then she spoke again. "I'm still supposed to bring someone along, though."

Marissa's heart did a funny little jump in her chest. She stayed silent, staring over at Alex, who was biting her lip, and looking as if she was steeling herself to do something.

After a short pause, Alex looked up from the sandwiches, her probing blue eyes poring into Marissa's. "Listen," she said suddenly. "I know that sometimes I come off as all tough, or whatever, but..." She bit her lip again. "Well, today- that was hard for me. I'm just starting to come to grips with the fact that someone I knew, someone I trusted, might actually want to kill me." She took a deep breath. "And I need someone who understands me to come with me tomorrow." She looked up. Marissa could see a hidden vulnerability she had never seen before in her eyes. "I need you to come with me."

A few seconds before, it had seemed like Marissa's heart was going so fast it was going to burst right out of her chest. Now, it seemed like it had just stopped beating altogether. She stared into Alex's eyes and she felt as though she could explode with the sheer feeling that she could see there. She knew that Alex needed her and that made her, more than anything else, want to accept, to say she'd be there. She also knew that a trip to LA would likely take all day, and she would have to blow off Ryan. But, at the moment, sitting in Summer's kitchen with a girl who she cared about, and who needed her, she found she just couldn't refuse. "Of course I'll go," she said breathlessly. "Whatever you need for this to be okay."

A warm smile broke out on Alex's face. "You don't know how much this means to me," she said softly. A strand of blonde hair fell into her eyes.

And once again, Marissa found she couldn't say a word. All she could do was smile back.

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