Okay, chapter five is up. I think the sheer size of this chapter displays just how much I have not been studying for exams. But hey, less than a week and they're over, and I can stop feeling guilty :)

As usual, please enjoy, and please (please) review!

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I am such an idiot, thought Alex as she bit into a sandwich and sat down at the table with Marissa. Why did I ask her to come with me? I'm just trying to worm my way into her life again. And I already know how it ends. I've lived through it once. She swallowed hard as a wad of her lunch got clogged in her throat.

Marissa, who was watching her, smiled a bit. "You put a lot of peanut butter on the sandwiches, didn't you?"

Alex couldn't help grinning back. "Too much for you?"

Swallowing a big bite of her own sandwich, Marissa laughed. "No way. I'm no peanut butter novice."

Alex laughed as well, and they steadily ate their way through two helpings of lunch. As she finally swallowed her last bite, Alex marveled about how easily they were talking, and how even though this morning they had almost kissed, (and both of them knew it) there wasn't much awkwardness. Plus, thought Alex, she even told me she still likes me. The notion gave her a happy twinge in her stomach, and a wide smile made its way onto her face.

"Hey, glad to see that someone's still smiling," came a voice from the kitchen entrance. Looking over, Alex saw that it was Seth, accompanied by Summer. The latter promptly whacked the former on the shoulder.

"That was a good movie, Cohen!" she said sharply. "It just shows you can't appreciate true art." She came and slid into the seat next to Marissa. "So," she asked her, "How's Ryan?"

Alex managed to keep from choking on her glass of milk, but it was a very near miss.

Marissa was suddenly looking strained. "Uhm," she said. "Good, I guess."

Swallowing with difficulty, Alex looked up at Summer. She had a suspicious look on her face now. "Hmm," she said slowly. "Marissa, could you come upstairs with me for a second? I think I left something in my bedroom."

With an air of a guilty child, Marissa got up from the table and followed her friend toward the stairs. As the girls' footsteps faded upstairs, there was silence in the kitchen. Seth sat down at the table and picked up the last sandwich and bit into it. They stared at each other. No one spoke for about thirty seconds. Then-

"Oh, go on, eavesdrop, I won't tell Summer," sighed Seth, closing his eyes and leaning back in his chair. "Just promise to tell me if you overhear anything relating to me in any way."

"Thanks," said Alex gratefully, getting up from her seat, stealing down the hallway and creeping up the stairs. She made it to Summer's bedroom door without any major creaks, and saw when she got there that it was open just enough so she could hear every word spoken from within. Hardly daring to believe her luck, she crouched next to the door to listen. The next words she heard were Summer's.

"So what?" the feisty brunette was saying, "So he has a yamaclaus in his room, so what? You know those people and their holiday obsession."

Outside the door, Alex frowned. What the hell is a yamaclaus? she wondered. She pressed her ear closer to the door to hear Marissa's response.

"Oh, come on," came Marissa's voice skeptically. "It's July. He's obviously not thinking about the holidays."

There was a sigh. "Alright, fine, you're right," said Summer. Then her voice got slightly sharp again. "But you still should not have blown him off like that!"

Marissa sounded exasperated. "What was I supposed to do? Refuse to go with her when she asked me?"

Alex heart was now beating very hard in her chest. Are they talking about me?

"Yes!" exclaimed Summer. "Yes, you were! You can't just go promising to go to LA with her when you already had made plans with Ryan. Do you have any idea how inappropriate that is?"

"Ugh!" groaned Marissa. "Ugh, I know, Summer! But I just... I can't say no to her."

Alex's heart was now pounding so furiously she was surprised it wasn't audible. I can't believe it, she thought, amazed. She likes me enough to blow off her boyfriend?

From inside the room, the bedsprings creaked as someone leaned back on the bed. "Fine, Coop," Summer sighed. "Well, whatever your reasons were, you have a decision to make now. Are you going shopping with Ryan, or are you going to LA with Alex?"

"I don't know," replied Marissa wearily.

"Geez, Coop... Well you have to decide by today, alright? You can't just wait til the last minute to blow someone off."

"Okay. Okay, I'll decide today." Silence fell in the room.

Recognizing her chance, Alex got up very quietly and stole back down the stairs. Seth was still in the kitchen, biting into an apple. He looked up from the table as Alex re entered the room. "So?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.

Alex collapsed in a chair. Her mind felt numb. She had no idea what to think, what to feel. She looked up at Seth. "My life is pretty much a twisted knot of confusion," she said finally.

The eyebrow was raised even more. "Wow," he replied. "I never really took you for a drama queen."

Alex gave a weak laugh. "You have no idea," she said, leaning back in her chair.

Seth leaned forward, looking curious. "Okay, then give me one. What's up?"

Alex cocked her head. "You really want to know?"

"Yeah."

Alex nodded, and looked Seth in the eye. "Alright. Well, first off, I think I was kidnapped by my ex boyfriend, who probably wanted me dead. Also, I'm staying with the best friend of my ex girlfriend, who I've realized I still like a lot. Plus, that particular ex girlfriend told me this morning that she still likes me as well, and we almost kissed. But, she also has a boyfriend, who was the reason she broke up with me in the first place. On top of that, I just found out that she made plans with him to go shopping tomorrow, before she made plans with me to go to LA. Which means that she was planning to blow him off for me." She took a deep breath. "So, basically, I think that I'm going to go crazy."

Seth was wide eyed. "Holy..." he said, awed. "I think I'm going to go crazy just hearing about it. What are you going to do?"

"Do about what?" came Summer's voice. Turning, Alex saw both Summer and Marissa were standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Alex swallowed, and quickly turned to Summer.

"Uh, nothing," she said offhandedly. "Just today. I've got no plans, so."

Summer nodded. "Oh. Well, I don't really know what I'm doing today either." She turned pointedly to Marissa. "What are you going to do, Coop?" This would have been a very clever code if Alex hadn't heard every word they had discussed upstairs. Perhaps Seth guessed what was going on as well, because he quickly spoke up.

"Uh, I was thinking of going down to the pier," he said hurriedly. "You know, maybe get some ice cream." He looked at the three girls. "You guys want to come?"

"Sure," agreed Marissa, sounding grateful for the change of subject. Summer nodded that she'd come as well. Seth looked at Alex.

"Coming?"

"Ice cream," commented Alex, smiling as she remembered another time she had had ice cream in Newport. "It's like you're eight years old."

Something sparked in Seth's eyes as he also remembered. "And three quarters," he added cheekily.

The four of them walked slowly down Summer's street toward the pier, not bothering to take a car. They had all afternoon, and were in no particular rush. Seth and Summer walked ahead a bit, bickering amiably about the acting talent in chick flicks. Marissa and Alex strolled a little behind them, listening to the argument and doing quite a bit of eye rolling. When Summer mentioned that she thought romantic movies were 'the glue holding popular culture together', Alex actually laughed out loud.

"What?" challenged Summer, turning her head.

"Nothing," said Alex quickly, as Marissa mouthed 'rage blackouts' at her while shaking her head furiously.

When they reached the pier, Seth pulled them all over to the ice cream stand immediately, almost butting in front of a pair of nine years olds who couldn't make up their minds. "Seriously," he whined to Alex, who had held him back. "How long does it take to decide between chocolate and vanilla?"

After they got their ice cream ("Finally!" said Seth), they walked down toward the beach. Seth finished his cone first, and tried to eat some of Summer's, who promptly ran pell-mell down the waterline to save her treat from being stolen. Alex laughed as she watched them. "He's such a kindergartener," she commented to Marissa, shaking her head fondly.

Marissa nodded, and grinned. "He really is." She bit into her waffle cone, and then frowned a bit, and turned questioningly to Alex. "What were you guys talking about back at Summer's, when you called him an eight year old? It felt like an inside joke."

Alex smiled. "Oh, right. For our first- date, I guess you could call it, I told him he was eight at heart because he took me out for ice cream as a nightcap." She paused. "Actually," she added, "It was more like I took him out for ice cream, because I ended up paying."

Marissa laughed. "That sounds exactly like Seth, making you pay for your first date." They walked slowly along the beach, following Summer's hysterical protests as her boyfriend tried to steal her ice cream. The tide washed against the sand rhythmically. And then Marissa let out a small laugh.

"What?" asked Alex.

Marissa motioned toward a small section of beach near a bridge. "Speaking of first dates," she said quietly. She shot a small glance at Alex, whose heart was pounding again. She too, was recognizing the surroundings now. For the second time in one day, scenes from the past flashed before her eyes. The smell of the sea, the sand in between her fingers, the feeling of Marissa's lips when they first kissed...

She smiled, somewhat awkwardly. "Brings back memories, doesn't it?"

Marissa nodded, giving a shaky laugh. "I've had a lot of memories coming back today."

"Me too," Alex said quietly. She licked her ice cream for a moment, as they walked along in silence. Then she turned to look at Marissa. The brunette was staring out at the sea, looking lost in her own thoughts. "What are you thinking about?" she inquired curiously.

Marissa jumped a little, startled. Then she gave a small smile, and sighed a bit. "I'm trying to make a kind of- difficult decision."

Oh, thought Alex. The Ryan or Alex decision. She was silent for a moment, and then decided to ask. "What kind of a decision?"

Marissa paused. "Well," she answered, after a moment. "It's actually kind of... about you."

Alex tried to look as if this was news to her. "Oh."

"Yeah," said Marissa. Then she turned toward Alex. "I don't mean to freak you out," she said quickly. "It's not bad, or anything."

Alex sighed inwardly. Might as well tell her. She had never been good at keeping secrets, even her own. "I, um," she started hesitantly. "I already kind of know."

Marissa looked confused. "What?"

Biting her lip, Alex shot Marissa an apologetic glance. "When you and Summer went upstairs to talk, I- well, I followed you and listened at the door."

Marissa was wide eyed. "Really?"

Alex squirmed. "Yeah," she answered guiltily.

To Alex's surprise, Marissa looked more amused than angry. "Well, I guess it's easier for me to tell you if you already know. You heard everything?"

"Pretty much."

"Right." Marissa was silent for a moment. Then she gave a small laugh. "It just feels like my life is getting more and more complicated."

Alex smiled. "I know the feeling."

Marissa returned the smile. "Sorry. I know I probably have something to do with that."

"That's okay, I don't mind," said Alex, realizing that this was actually the truth. "I missed you...I guess I like my life better complicated with you in it, than simple without you at all."

Something about this statement seemed to register in some way with Marissa, because she suddenly adopted a very curious expression. After a small pause, she spoke again, quietly. "You know, I think I know what you mean. Can you hold on a second?"

Alex nodded, and Marissa stopped walking to rummage around in her purse for something. Finally, she pulled out her cell phone, and dialed a number. She held the phone to her ear, and a finger to her lips. "Don't say anything," she whispered to Alex. "The sound of your voice is not something Ryan needs to hear."

Surprised, Alex nodded again. Ryan? she thought questioningly. She's calling Ryan? To do what? She had a sneaking suspicion, but was skeptical about whether or not it was correct...

But it was. Marissa (with an amazing lack of detail) told Ryan a 'circumstance' had arisen that made her unavailable for shopping tomorrow. Apologizing profusely, she hung up. Alex looked at her with wide eyes. "I can't believe you just did that," she said quietly.

Marissa ran her fingers through her hair. "I kind of can't believe it either," she admitted. "I feel bad about lying to him. But I think a police investigation trumps a shopping trip, and I had to make a decision today, right?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, otherwise Summer would kill you for waiting until the last minute."

An amused grin made its way onto Marissa's face. "You really did listen at the door, huh?"

Alex blushed. "I was curious."

Marissa laughed. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you blush before."

Alex shrugged. "I'm full of surprises," she said, smiling. Then there was a particularly loud shriek from the waterfront. Startled, she looked over toward the ocean to see Seth still chasing Summer along the beach, a discarded ice cream cone lying forgotten in the sand.

Marissa, who had also looked toward the shore, laughed lightly. "Five years ago, if someone told me those two would be the most perfect couple I know, I would've questioned their mental health."

Alex smiled. "They're like Romeo and Juliet," she agreed. Then, as an afterthought, "But not as dead."

Marissa laughed, and choked on her last bite of waffle cone.

The two of them wandered around the beach for a little while longer before going to tell Summer and Seth it was probably time to leave. Fairly sun burnt, and in Summer and Seth's case, soaking wet from the knees down, they made their way slowly down the main road away from the pier.

Five minutes later, Seth and Marissa bid them goodbye, both saying they had to be home for dinner, and heading down a winding street that would lead to both their houses. Summer and Alex kept walking, still about five minutes from Summer's house. As she walked, Summer's shoes squished audibly with every step, because they were drenched with water. She gave an exasperated sigh as she caught Alex's smirk. "I should have worn flip flops," she said regrettably, glancing down at her flats.

Alex laughed lightly. "Or maybe, you should have taken off your shoes before running through the water."

With a small smile, Summer shrugged. "Maybe. But, hey, I was defending my ice cream. Cohen can be pretty determined sometimes."

"I know," said Alex. There was a short silence, and then she added, "You really love him a lot, I can tell."

Summer smiled again, staring blissfully over the distant horizon. "Yeah," she agreed quietly. "I mean, sometimes I can't believe I do, but yeah."

Alex stared ahead at the fading afternoon sun, as well. "I wish I could find that," she said wistfully, her thoughts sifting through her various teenage romances. Jodie, Seth, Adam... Marissa. Her stomach twisted.

Summer sighed. Alex shook herself out of her reverie to see the tiny brunette looking sadly at her. "I think maybe you have," said Summer quietly.

Alex was taken aback. "You mean Marissa?"

Summer raised an eyebrow. "You honestly think I haven't noticed how you look at her?" She sighed again. "Or how she looks at you?"

Alex's heart was pounding again. "Even so," she said, more to herself than to Summer, "She's got Ryan."

"She does." Then Summer shook her head sadly. "But I'm worried about that." She gave Alex a sideways glance. "Can I be honest with you for a second?"

Not knowing exactly what to say, Alex just nodded. Then Summer went on. "Marissa likes you," she said bluntly. "You've probably already figured that out, because she tried to kiss you. And don't try to deny it," she added hastily as Alex opened her mouth, "Because I saw you. Anyway, she likes you, and you obviously like her." She looked almost apologetically at Alex. "Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to make you back off because I want you to be miserable, or anything." She sighed. "It's just, I'm worried about what this is going to do to Ryan."

Alex found her voice. "I've actually been thinking about that as well," she admitted. "Particularly since she just called him and told him that something had come up and she can't go shopping with him tomorrow."

Summer raised her eyebrows. "So she picked you?"

Alex shifted, rather uncomfortably. "I guess. It's just-" She was silent for a moment, staring blankly ahead. "This is starting to feel kind of familiar to me. When we dated, I got the feeling Marissa was only with me to piss off her mom. And now I know that she's mad at Ryan... what if she's only spending more time with me to teach him a lesson?"

But Summer just looked at her in disbelief. "That's what you think?" she said blankly. "Seriously? That Marissa doesn't like you?" She laughed. "Do you have any idea what you're doing to her? Her life would be so much easier if she didn't have to deal with you- no offense. But what I mean is; trust me, if she could let you go, she would. But she can't."

Alex felt slightly numb. "I don't think I can let go of her, either," she said quietly.

Summer sighed. "I didn't think so," she said glumly. "You know, if things weren't so messed up, you two would be the cutest thing I've ever seen."

Alex smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, 'messed up' seems to follow me wherever I go."

Summer smiled too. "I've been trying to hate you," she admitted. "You know, out of loyalty to 'the core four,'" She emphasized the words with air quotation marks. "But I can't. I'm starting to see what Coop has been talking about." Another smile. "You're pretty irresistible for someone who wears t-shirts that say 'Stay Away.'"

As Alex laughed, they turned onto Summer's driveway, and walked up to the front door. As Summer fumbled with the key, (her step monster had locked her out, again,) Alex leaned against the door frame. "So what do I do?" she asked weakly. "Marissa's coming up to LA with me tomorrow, but should I cool it after that? I don't want to mess up her life. Or mine," she added as an afterthought.

Summer finally got the door open, and turned to Alex. "Maybe you should back off," she admitted. "But... -and I can't believe I'm saying this- maybe you shouldn't." She fixed Alex with a searching gaze. "I think maybe you two need to figure this out for yourselves." With that, she stepped through her front door.

After a pause, Alex followed her, and walked slowly after her into the kitchen. Throughout dinner, she was quiet, lost in her own thoughts. Summer didn't try and make conversation, but ate in silence as well. For this, Alex was grateful. She had a lot to think about.

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