A/N: This fic is unavoidable. I saw the UK promo for the season 3 finale yesterday and just about fell into a million pieces. I was contemplating CJ as a possible drama on the show, but it certainly was different seeing it onscreen. *shudders* My word. Even in my fic 'Flashback', I wasn't planning on putting this in as part of CB's past. *shudders* So yes, I'm writing this. Don't read on if you don't wanna know about the UK promo, because I'm going directly off of that. Anyways, this fic should be short, 5 chapters or less, I'm guessing. I just need to get it out of my system, so I can actually write and vid normal CB again.

Please review. =)

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Ch.1—For Better or For Worse

He looked over at the petite blonde sleeping next to him and his breath caught in his throat. He didn't want to touch her, didn't want to be near her, felt so guilty, but so at ease too. If he had a choice between being alone for the rest of his life for what'd he done – being reminded every day that Blair no longer loved him and never would again – or sharing it with someone who was just as broken as he was, he would probably have chosen the latter.

He couldn't tell right now if sleeping with Jenny Humphrey had been a mistake. She had been a virgin. Her initial screams when he'd entered her had pierced his ears and made him want to die, almost as badly as the screams of Blair entering his nightmares time and time again. Jenny had recovered though, and passed out nearly the minute it had ended. Relief had swept through him at the hope of actually having somebody.

"You deserve to be alone."

Nate's words had choked him senseless since they had been spoken, but it wasn't until he actually saw Blair having a legitimate date with someone else and enjoying herself, that he'd officially broken. He put out the offer up to meet at the Empire State Building hoping he was wrong – that she really wasn't over him already, but when she didn't show, he knew he was right, and then Jenny was just…there.

"She needed someone and I was there!"

He shuddered at the resemblance between the two situations. They had both needed each other last night, he and Jenny, but he knew from this moment on it would be no easy journey. He wasn't in love with her, and he wasn't planning on going in that direction, but it had been such a relief to be with someone who could relate with him and wasn't going to hate him forever, because she was hated by everyone too.

For a moment, he remembered being happy with Blair. The whole year before was a living nightmare. He had caused her so much pain, and been caused so much pain himself, but it was nothing in comparison to the hell he was living in now. His eyes began to water. Just once more. All he wanted to do was have Blair with him one more time, looking at him like she was madly in love with him and she never wouldn't be. He sucked in a breath at the thought and found that his broken heart was bleeding again. He couldn't stay in the same room with Jenny Humphrey, not for awhile at least. He would attend to her when she got up.

He uncovered himself and placed the silk robe around his form, knotting the sash loosely. He grabbed a white button-up shirt from his closet and placed it on the small table beside the bed, where Jenny could easily get to it. He felt incredibly uneasy when he walked over to where she lay to set down the shirt. His stomach was churning and a sickening guilt threatened to consume him whole. He hadn't cheated on her. He hadn't. But it felt like he had. He felt worse than he did when the realization of her original break-up finally hit him.

Somehow this was worse. Somehow this was so much worse.

He hadn't made it halfway across his bedroom when a small voice interrupted his thoughts from outside the door. His eyes widened in a slight panic. If it was Nate, he was going to get a beat down. If it was Dan, he would surely be killed. He'd be accused of raping the young blonde, he was sure. He wasn't even going to deny it if that was the case. Of course his resigning would look extremely suspicious, but there was nothing really left of himself to give. It was only in business that he might prosper. For one night he hadn't been tortured by visions of Blair gone from his life entirely. He hadn't been at peace, but somehow it was better. There was some relief.

"Chuck?" the voice called out again, this time a little louder. He could audibly hear the individual moving about the room outside his bedroom door.

Something fell into the pit of his stomach that felt like icy fire and a heavy block of metal. He felt hot and cold and he panicked. He didn't know how he was going to go out there and face Blair. He couldn't handle for final shpeel on how they weren't meant to be and that this was the final cut-off for them. Feeling and seeing it was one thing, but her words would haunt him forever. It wouldn't send him back into Jenny's arms, but most likely off a cliff.

"Whatever you have to do to yourself, please don't do that to me."

He hadn't promised her anything that night at Victrola. But now that she didn't love him anymore, it wouldn't matter. If he killed himself, she would get over it. Just like she got over everything else. She got over Nate cheating on her, her father moving overseas with his gay lover, losing Yale, himself breaking her heart with the deal he'd made with Jack. This time would be no different.

He took one last look at Jenny snuggled up under his covers, and opened the door leading to the hallway, closing it behind him. Then he walked out to where the call came from. He would let her have the upper hand one last time. He wasn't even going to try to get it back.

"Blair?" he asked, his voice small. She turned around and faced him, walked towards him with his bouquet of pink peonies in her hands. His eyes zoomed in on them and somehow the sick feeling in his stomach got worse. She'd gone. He'd come back to The Empire after a long day of waiting, and now certain that he'd be alone forever. A one night stand with Jenny Humphrey seemed the only solution at the time; it would benefit both of them in their misery. But Blair hadn't abandoned him. She'd wanted to try again. They'd just…missed each other.

"Chuck," she said, registering him. His eyes flickered to hers.

"Blair," he said again, his mind completely blank as to what he should say. Would she accuse him of not being at their designated destination? Suddenly that was a very real possibility. Suddenly the flowers in her hands made the probability of her coming to break it off officially for them forever considerably less.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, finding himself unable to move. She blinked and looked down at his flowers briefly.

"I couldn't make it yesterday. Dorota went into labor."

His lips parted. He was horrified with this retched turn of events.

"I was hoping your offer was still on the table?" she asked tentatively.

She was looking at him longingly, hopefully, just like he'd wanted her to. He never thought he'd see the day of Blair Waldorf actually wanting him again, actually wanting them again. Of course his offer was still on the table. He almost jumped in his excitement until he remembered Jenny Humphrey was still asleep in his bedroom. A huge lump formed in his throat. He'd acted too fast, based too much of his utter despair on what he did after leaving the Empire State building. If Blair found out what he'd done, he really would lose her forever.

"You didn't call," he said, as if the situation could somehow be blamed on her. She sighed uneasily.

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry. I didn't. I should have. I just," she bit her bottom lip in what looked like guilt. How could she possibly guilty? He thought. "Dorota was…in labor, and I was just caught up in it all, and—"

"Confused?" he asked. He had to know. Was she having doubts? Was that the real reason she didn't come? He might feel less guilty and like he wanted to slice his head off if that was the case.

"No!" she said immediately. He was a little taken aback. She sighed, easing back into a more controlled behavior. "I knew from the moment you offered to meet me that I was going to come to you." He swallowed hard as she took a step towards him. "Because you were right. I was just scared and I'm never going to be safe, and if I'm going to survive this life with anybody, it's going to be you."

He stared at her, his eyes searching.

"I love you, Chuck."

He started to sweat. Her words were unbearable, and now he wanted his own execution, right there. But he wouldn't think of it further, because now everything suddenly was so clear. She still loved him, and it would torture her and maybe leave her sad indefinitely if he set out to kill himself. The one permanent solution to possible relief was ripped from him in a heartbeat.

"H-How's Dorota?" he managed to ask, temporarily looking away. She blinked, confused and maybe a little angry at his response, but she responded nonetheless.

"She's fine," she said, "It's a girl. Elizabeth Blair." She smirked slightly, slipping out of the tense situation, if only for a little while. "I told her the name was too American, but she would have none of it. Goodness knows where she got the name 'Elizabeth' from. She chuckled. Chuck seemed unaffected and she walked towards him, inches away from grasping his hands. He felt like he was going to explode.

"Chuck…please…" she pleaded, looking deep into his eyes. When he finally registered her eye contact, he felt like he was going to burn merely from her stare. Her dark brown eyes were toxic to him, so much more beautiful and scintillating than what he thought Jenny's pale blue ones had been. At the moment, he couldn't specifically remember what her eye color had actually been.

"I forgive you," she said, inhaling sharp and exhaling slowly. "And…I'm willing to try for us again." He could have sworn he saw her eyes watering. It felt like a knife had been plunged into his gut and was turning at an excruciatingly slow pace. "I need for us to try again," she exhaled shakily. "Please," she whispered under her breath.

He didn't know how to act or what to say. He didn't think he could take her screaming and yelling at him again. Her words would surely kill him in his sleep. Her high pitched scream would send him over the edge until he 'accidentally' strangled himself in his sleep. And though it would kill him to watch her walk away amidst tears and heartbreak, it would be better off for her. He just wanted to get Jenny Humphrey out of his damn suite. He wanted to forget last night had ever happened. God, why hadn't he just stayed longer?!

When he said nothing, she took his silence as a definitive no. A you're too late. A have a nice life Blair, I've closed my heart to you forever. After all, there was no unless you have a really good excuse clause to his last proposal. She swallowed hard and nodded.

"Okay, Chuck." She averted her eyes from his and blinked back the tears. She felt so shaky, had tried so desperately to get to him the night before, but there were complications with Dorota and she just couldn't make herself leave. In the haste of it all it just hadn't occurred to her to call Chuck. Honestly, Chuck had been the last thing on her mind. When she had finally returned home at nearly two in the morning, she remembered, and panicked. Exhaustion claimed her, but she vowed she'd go to him first thing in the morning. When she'd found the abandoned flowers at the top of the Empire State building, she knew he'd been there and that somehow within the last 24 hours, he'd given up. She hoped with her words she could revive his desire to be with her. Now it seemed that could never be the case.

She didn't say another word, didn't know what she could say. She just turned around and started walking towards the elevator, her heart completely broken all over again. She couldn't believe he wouldn't make an exception for her. Had he really built his walls up so high that if she didn't meet his exact terms, she would be only a memory to him and that he would try desperately to forget? The lump in her throat refused to subside. She felt herself break the closer she got to leaving.

In one of her fairytales, he would have stopped her from leaving. He would've confessed his still constant undying love for her and that he would take her back, and that she was worth it, that they were worth it. But once she reached the elevator and pressed the button and the doors slid open, she gave up all hope for that wonderful possibility.

Life is not a fairytale, she reminded herself.

Her last shred of hope evaporated and her shoulders slunk over as she stepped into the elevator.

"Blair! Wait!"

She'd hardly registered the sound, or the fact that it had been repeated several times, but when a hand came in to stop the elevator doors from closing and Chuck's steady eyes and heavy breaths were boring into her, she could not stop herself from staring. She couldn't say anything. He stepped into the elevator, stalked to her and wrapped his arms around her. Not another moment passed before they were lost in the whirlwind of a mind-blowing, passionate kiss that would span the ages. They would tell their grandchildren about it until they were sick and weak in the knees and most definitely still in the stage of thinking the other gender was utterly disgusting.

"Meet me for an early lunch?" he asked, his forehead pinned to hers when they'd parted. They were both breathing so very heavily and it was hard to distinguish whose breath from the others. A sparkling flame of hope lit up in Blair and she felt the lightest she'd ever felt, the most swept up in him she felt she'd ever be. She nodded subtly.

"Okay," she whispered, her fingers fisting the fabric clinging to the back of his shirt. She tilted her head up ever so slightly and he kissed her again. She could get lost in that kiss forever.

Finally he exited the elevator and let the door close. Twenty minutes, he mouthed. She nodded, small smile on his face. When the doors finally closed, he ran a hand through his hair. He couldn't believe he'd just done that. His fear of losing her had just been too strong. And somehow the idea of having her if only for a few hours was better than a lifetime without her with her wondering what she'd done wrong to make him refuse her for what was a perfectly good excuse.

"Chuck?" a voice moaned, interrupting his thoughts.

He turned around to see the sleepy-headed, yawning, still unstable Jenny Humphrey stumbling out of his bedroom in his shirt. Shit.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed. It's so angsty I know, and I'm hoping they don't actually sleep together on the show. But if I make this as bad as I think it can get and fix it, then I think I'll be better prepared to handle the episode, should it go that route. XD Please review!