The cat and the doctor

Simon enjoyed pets. He and River had a zoo when they were children. One thing they never had was a cat. This was because of Simon's allergy. There were medications to help the reactions, but not cure them. In the Black, coming by any medication at all wasn't exactly easy.

When River got the thing, he started sneezing right away. He found her in her room with it. She looked at him and smiled. He asked if she remembered his allergy and she nodded, stating, "It's not severe enough to kill you. They were going to kill May. Sacrifice for the greater good. And you forgot to feed my fish." He tried to explain that was over ten years ago, but she wound up shouting, "Murderer! You killed my fish!" He backed down and spent his pay on tissues and antihistamines. It didn't help that Kaylee loved the kitty as much as River. Between the two of them, it was a miracle his eyes hadn't swollen shut.

He stood in the infirmary, stocking the shelves, when a meow caught his attention. He spun around, placing a surgical mask over his face. May stood in the doorway, tail thrashing, mocking him.

"Stay back," he warned her. "Last time you got close to me, I had to take so much diphenhydramine I almost overdosed!"

She moved closer, purring sweetly. He backed into the corner, holding up a resolute hand. "Don't come any closer. I mean it. If I made you sick, you wouldn't want to be around me."

"I think you're already sick, doctor," Mal laughed. "You're talking to a cat."

"I'm allergic, Captain. I'm trying to deter her," he defended.

"She's not hurting anybody."

"She's hurting me!"

"Anybody worth mention. Now, don't be so rude."

"You don't even like her!"

River's face appeared in the doorway at Mal's flank. "But I like her."

"You got him in on this?" Simon gaped.

"No, I just heard you yelling and thought I'd tell you to stop."

"You're messing with our cat," she sighed. "Not appreciated."

"Your," Mal snapped. "I'm just the captain making sure everybody's getting along."

River gave him a classic River look and summoned May with the wiggle of her fingers. She picked her up and informed Simon, "Stop being such a baby or I'm going to have her sleep with you tonight."

Simon sputtered for a moment and finally exclaimed, "You wouldn't!"

"I would."

"She would," Mal agreed. "Good day, Doctor."

The three of them left and he shook his head. "They're a gang, I swear…"