A/N: Well, I was freaking out to no end before the finale, especially since I learned everything that was going to happen about four hours before it aired – talk about painful waiting – but it actually wasn't that bad (the episode I mean, not the waiting. That was torture. Lol). In fact, I found the finale absolutely phenomenal. It's definitely not the end of CB. They're totally going to use Chuck getting shot & almost dying as a means of Chuck getting back into Blair's life. Plus, the confrontation scene wasn't nearly as bad as they made it out to be in the UK promo and though I felt bad for Blair, I really felt the worst for Chuck. How awful. Poor bb. *tear* Their reunion and his almost proposal were freaking amazing. I have no doubt that they'll be together soon. As always, I overestimated the horror aspect of the episode. It was great and I definitely won't be depressed this summer, except for the fact that I have to wait 3 months for more episodes. Heheh. DS was love too, but I won't go into further detail of what I thought of the episode…that's what my profile is for. Lol. Read on! Sorry it took so long, but I was without internet and finishing up school and I was waiting to get at least 10 reviews for the chapter. I've decided that is a prerequisite for more chapters in this fic. Heh. Only 1 more chapter after this one. Hope you've enjoyed it. Thank goodness most of the angst is over. My peppiness over the episode is making it difficult to get into that depressive zone. I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to stomach CJ in the episode. A few sickening moments to get to CB epicness – even if it wasn't always happy – is kinda worth it, maybe. =) Oh, and as a final side note: forget the NSD drama. As I said, I'm not going to go off into other SLs, even if there are hints of them. ;p

*Preview for possible new fic at the end of the chapter.

*I own nothing.

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Ch.6—Meaning Beyond Memories

Her eyes fluttered open when she felt the stream of warm light cover parts of her face. Scanned the room, trying to determine where she was and what had happened the night before. It came back to her in fast flashes. Dan had tried to kiss her. She'd left. Chuck had taken her home.

Chuck!

She snapped up and realized for the first time that she was in her own bed, in her own room, totally and completely alone.

"Hello?" she called out, just in case she was wrong. But she wasn't. Nobody answered. She sighed and flipped over the covers, climbing out of bed. She stumbled into the bathroom and realized she was wearing the same clothes she had been the night before, minus her shoes. A wave of awe and a slight speed-up in her heart rate hit her in an instant. Chuck had taken her home, hadn't undressed her, and had left. It made her feel a little bubbly inside. She had to fight to remind herself what a horrible person he'd been during the last month.

"…if you don't come, then I'll close my heart to you forever."

It would be easier she decided, if she took a shower and forgot the night before ever happened, or maybe the whole week. Perhaps it would have just been best to get rid of the last two years of her life. She shuddered, not wanting to go to that place – that place before Chuck. She remembered how she had just brushed past him sleeping with Vanessa. It should have been infuriating, but somehow she had just put it in the pile of everything else gone wrong. The call girl he had become fascinated with should have irked her too, but it just seemed like typical Chuck, and having a one-night stand with Carter – his sworn enemy – was the perfect solution, even before she knew it would be. The blow out this time was the worst though, not because it was a one-night stand, but because it was with Jenny Humphrey and because she had decided to be with him again. Even now her heart ached that she couldn't just be with him. It was right where she wanted to be, even if she wouldn't let herself admit to it.

She couldn't remember exactly what had happened after Chuck had guided her to his limo. But she did remember how paralyzed she had felt in the pouring rain and the fact that he came out into the madness to save her from the onslaught of a possible cold, felt to her just like how the knights in her fairytales saved their destined princess. That had been significant to her somehow, him saving her. He had done it so many times and she didn't want that to matter anymore. She wanted it to mean nothing after what he'd done.

But while she showered, she couldn't stop thinking about him, about what he could do to her, in every sense of the word. She thought about their relationship and what a big jumbled mess it was. But the good times shone all the brighter in her mind. They were beautiful and clinging to her for dear life, hoping she didn't forget them for good and move on. She couldn't if she tried, she realized. That or if she encountered some physical accident scarring her brain enough to make her forget.

Her phone rang when she stepped out of the shower. She quickly wrapped a towel around her hair and placed a robe around her waist. Then she treaded towards where the sound was coming from. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Chuck's abandoned coat beneath her cell phone. Her eyes shut in anguish. Her heart throbbed painfully and she wanted to break her phone in half when she saw who was calling her.

Cameron.

Asshole. She sighed, ignoring the call instantly. She supposed she should be fair though. Cameron was a far more decent choice than Marcus had been. He was a nice guy too and she was genuinely interested in him, even if it was just to move on from Chuck. But that was just it. He wasn't Chuck, and she didn't want anyone else. Her heart wouldn't let her want anyone else.

She moved back to her bathroom and continued to freshen up for the day. She didn't know what it held, but she was determined to make Chuck her first destination. Her mind was screaming at her to send him a simple thank-you text and move on with her life. He had hurt her in so many ways and after what he'd done with Jenny, he didn't deserve forgiveness. But she couldn't blame him for anything but Jenny because she'd already forgiven him for all the other things. She'd already accepted his apologies and realized beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were meant to be and that they weren't twisted and that they could work through anything.

Anything.

She loved him more than she wanted to admit.

"I love you so much…it consumes me."

But Jenny had messed with everybody. Everybody. She'd done more damage than should be allowed in a lifetime. And he'd slept with her. He'd slept with the one girl she simply could no longer stand. After she'd realized she simply could not live without him, and needed to be with him, he'd gone and done that. Her insides screamed at her, demanding she pick a side, demanding she choose something and that she'd stick to it.

Dan's actions swarmed in and all around her. Surely, he had not been as far gone as Chuck and Jenny had been, thinking it was the end of the world and everyone hated them, that there was no such thing as true happiness because they were a disease infecting the world.

"I thought you didn't love me anymore!"

She shuddered at the words that had only made her furious at the time. Now she found herself falling into some out-of-the-blue sympathy. It was unbelievable. Understanding had swept through her, and though his actions with Jenny were unacceptable, everything he'd done since then hadn't been. Except the fact that he had lied to her. That made her blood boil. All of this just made her want to scream.

"I have to call Chuck," she told herself out loud. "I have to call him and go to him and somehow…" she couldn't finish her sentence. But, with one final blow from her hair dryer, she pinned up her hair part way and nearly ran to where her phone lie atop Chuck's coat. She picked up the device but then found herself dropping it and gathering the dormant coat against her chest. It smelled of him and she yearned for the source of its intoxicating scent.

"Chuck," she said, trying to sound professional. It was his answering machine. "I'm coming over. Right now. I-I hope you're there." She snapped the phone shut, wondering if her message had been too…odd. She decided not to think about it. She needed to talk to him, and as long as he wasn't screwing another manipulative mistake, she knew she wouldn't regret it.

………………………………………………………………………

The elevator doors slid open, resounding with a ding! She found him unmoved, staring at a week-old newspaper, sitting on the couch. She was surprised he hadn't heard her come in, especially since she was so close to him now, not more than five feet away.

"Chuck?" she asked, halting her steps. He turned his head and looked up to her. His eyes widened and he gaped. He tried to conceal it a moment later and just look at her calmly, as if it was the most common exchange in the world, but he could not make himself do it to completion. And she was far too enamored to forget the look on him face.

"Blair," he said, a bit breathlessly. He swung his legs around to the floor and turned towards her. "What…uh…what are you doing here?" he asked. It didn't come off cold, he didn't think anyways. But he was sure the sound of her voice had been imaginary. After the havoc that had been the two prior days, he hardly thought she'd seek him out of her own volition.

"I…wanted to thank you," she said slowly, walking towards him just a little bit more. He blinked and then his face fell a little, realization dawning.

"It was nothing," he said, shaking off the notion that the single act could lead back to him holding her in his arms. She walked closer to him though and demanded his attention.

"It was not nothing, Chuck." She looked concerned, almost hurt when he looked up at her. He wanted to make the pain all go away, and almost set off into a full-flight of how little Jenny Humphrey meant to him, how much what they did meant nothing. But he held his tongue. Blair was in his suite and he would relish it as long as possible. Still, he shook his head in denial of his supposed heroic deed.

"It was pouring outside, and you couldn't have possibly known where I was," he looked guilty, but she ignored it. "You came out into the rain, got drenched in the process and took me home. I…I'm very grateful."

He nodded, smiled a little, but was definitely confused. Sure, it had been a nice deed he had done for her, but it hadn't justified or made up for anything that he'd done. She had been furious and unforgiving. Even when she was calm, she still was insistent on their separation. To come all the way to see him just to offer up her thanks for saving her from a cold seemed a little extreme. He analyzed her demeanor.

"What's this about, Blair?"

She blinked. "What?"

He stood to his feet and took a couple steps towards her. She did not back up. "You broke me off from your life for good, and now just because I save you from getting a cold because you couldn't think enough to get under cover you come all the way over and thank me face-to-face?"

She was a bit annoyed at him pointing out her stupidity and frozen state, but she forced the bubbling anger to cool down. He didn't know the whole story, she told herself. He didn't know what had happened with Dan and how it may have perhaps changed her thinking entirely. She decided to take another route.

"What were you going to say to me, Chuck?" she asked, moving past him to sit next to where he had been on the couch. "If I had made it to the Empire State Building, what would you have said to me? What would have happened?" she asked, sounding a bit naïve. Chuck gaped but then turned around to look at her.

"Why are you asking me this?" he asked a bit breathlessly. He would have thought it wouldn't have mattered what he was going to say. What was done was done and he simply could not see her forgiving him all because he gave her a ride home in the midst of a rainstorm. Her eyes flickered up to his.

"Just answer the question," she said lightly. He was still bothered by her lack of answers to his own question, but he went to sit next to her, feeling around in his jacket for the small velvet box he'd been well prepared to use had she come earlier that two days before. He cleared his throat and opened the box in front of her. Her eyes went wide at the sight of the sparkling diamond.

"I would have said that there was no excuse for the pain I'd caused you, and that I was sorry again and very willing to make it up to you, even if it took me the rest of my life." He paused, relishing in her gaping reaction and slightly rosy cheeks. "I would have asked you to marry me, Blair."

She stared down at the perfect ring embedded in the perfect box, held in the hands of her lover and she swore she had lost the ability to breathe. Everything in her screamed to just take the damn thing and marry him right there. Her insides were still raging against her though. He had hurt her so bad. Maybe his little romantic proposal would have worked before, but it would not work now. Still, she could not find it in herself to shoot to her feet and stomp out of there, to push him out of her life so sufficiently he'd never forget it. She ached to have that ring on her finger.

"I…I…"

He daringly did not let the moment slip by without a fierce kiss on her perfect supple lips. It caught her by surprise and she gasped, able to reel back. Her eyes looked at his and she tried to be angry but couldn't find it in herself.

"No," she shook her head. Tears filled her eyes. "No, I can't. Chuck, you can't do this to me. I…" He looked so broken, but he slowly closed the box and slipped it back into his pocket. It hadn't even been an official proposal, but it still hit her to the bone. She felt as if it had, as if the boy who had hurt her more than she'd ever thought possible, had the balls to think she would so much as listen to his proposal. But she had. She'd asked for it and she could not blame that on him.

"I know," he nodded, accepting the fact. Silent, heated tension filled the room and Blair felt like she was going to explode. She thought that maybe it wouldn't be the best idea to just throw herself into his arms and kiss him like her life depended on it. But her resolve was quickly weakening. She decided to go for the truth. She backtracked a little and took a little side route.

"Dan tried to kiss me," she forced out. His eyes snapped to hers and they looked angry with revenge and jealousy. Her lips parted and eyes widened a bit at the reaction. Though her heart did swell a bit when she took note of how overprotective he was of her, even at the place they were now.

"He didn't succeed, but…that's why I was out in the rain, not moving," she chuckled lightly. "I was just a little shaken up."

Chuck nodded slowly but was still clearly angry at what Dan had tried to do. Blair laid a hand on his arm, and despite the atmosphere, felt sparks crackling through them. She had to catch her breath in order to recover. His expression did not seem to reflect her own, but somehow she pushed that failing hope aside.

"He wasn't very aggressive, Chuck. With Jenny and Vanessa gone, he was just lonely. But," she paused, hoping he would gather what direction she was going in with her next words, "he was nowhere near as depressed as you must've been the other night."

He looked at her very intensely and she wondered if his heart was beating as fast as hers was. She could hear her ramped breathing in her ears and wondered if he could hear it to. She wondered if she was sweating, couldn't force her eyes away from his. She swallowed hard and wanted so desperately to choke out that she loved him and she had forgiven him somehow and that they could be together, but it just wouldn't come out.

"What did you come here to tell me, Blair?" he asked, his voice low and dangerous. She swallowed her fear and her courage and her heart burst into flames. She tried to keep the tears at bay but a few sniffling sighs escaped her. His eyes searched hers desperately. His hands were just inches from hers and she could almost feel him willing their fingers to intertwine.

"I want to talk about us," she breathed, on a somewhat of a high-pitched note. "I'm not sure I can live without you."

Her breath caught in her throat and her tears closed in agony, the tears she'd tried to hold back slowly slipping down her cheeks. When she opened her eyes, Chuck was still staring at her intensely, probably wondering what the hell he was supposed to do with what she told him. She wouldn't marry him, but everything else was so murky it drove him insane.

"Blair…"

Any other thoughts left him. Neither could look away.

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He caught her wrist before she turned the corner and she turned to face him with a brilliant smile, long blonde hair still dangling about her waist.

"Georgina!"

"Dan," she said coolly, "Funny meeting you here." He shook his head.

"Cut the crap."

She blinked up at him innocently. "I'm sorry, Dan. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Jenny. Chuck. Blair."

"All people both you and I know. What's your point, Dan?"

He scoffed. "You're up to something."

"Aren't I always? Try to be more specific, Humphrey." Her blood was boiling but she was incredibly good at hiding it. She was good at being manipulative. She was good at finding her way out of whatever predicament put her in. Dan had become a bit of a weakness, but when she tried really hard she could avoid her feelings for a considerable length of time.

"Tell me what you did."

She scoffed. "Dan, I know I've wronged just about all of you in the past, but what makes you think I had something to do with those three?"

"Chuck took Jenny's virginity," he said, as if that explained everything.

"And this is my problem, how? Chuck has a natural talent for that type of thing. I only hope Snow White wasn't attached to him at the time." She smiled in a way that did unnatural things to Dan's stomach, things that made him want to chuck himself into the river with weights attached.

"That's besides the point. I know you're behind this."

She rolled her eyes, slipped the sunglasses she'd taken off back over her eyes and continued down the street.

"Wait, Georgina!" he kept up with her somewhat quickened pace. "Just tell me what you did! And where you sent Jenny?" He was frantic and she supposed she should let him in a little bit, since all her pieces had assuredly come together neatly. It wasn't as if they could really be pinned back on her. And if they could, there was no real crime. It wasn't her fault the naïve blonde had fallen victim to her schemes. She stopped and spun around, taking the sunglasses back off her face and holding them in her hands.

"I sent Jenny to boarding school, just like all of you had planned. The only difference is that it's a different location." She showed him a brilliant smile that had fake written all over it. "As for Chuck and Blair…" she shrugged. "They fell victim to Jenny. It's not my fault your little sister requested my help because she was bored."

"What are you talking about?" he asked in disbelief.

"Your sister," she said slowly, "was bored. I simply provided the means for her to get un-bored," she smirked. "It was just my luck, I suppose, that it ended up backfiring on Chuck and Blair too." She sighed contently. "Ah, revenge is sweet, is it not?"

Dan blinked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and some sort of almost fear. Georgina continued to smile at him, eyeing his figure in one smooth glance and then pushing her purse farther up her arm and over her shoulder.

"Good catching up, Humphrey."

The smirk did not disappear as she turned away from him completely and continued to walk down the block. Dan knew he should have asked more questions. He should have found out the full details, and most importantly where his sister had been shipped off to. A terrible chilled fear ran up his spine and he felt incredibly hot and then incredibly cool very suddenly. He ran a hand through his hair and then looked around him, trying to find something that would save him from the massacre he knew lay just beyond Georgina's words. All he could think of was the need to find someone to fix this mess. And that someone was Blair.

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A/N: Sorry for the shortness of that last scene, but I've had a bit of writer's block all day and I wasn't really into that scene. Heh. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review. =)

*NOTE: I'm thinking of writing a CB fic post S3 finale about B finding out about Chuck getting shot and how things work out between them following. There's a short preview below of some of it. If you think I should write it up, please vote 'yes' on my new profile poll. =)

Nate sighed, making his way across the room. It was more like pacing, really, but he'd grown too irritated by the term that Chuck decided to let it slide. The blonde hardly went home, despite what he called him or reminded him of what he'd done. His rebuttal always won out in the end.

"Chuck! You got shot!"

A nurse poked her head in.

"Sir? Are you all right?" she asked, concerned. The blonde spun around, having expected the question to be directed at Chuck. But the woman was looking straight at him and he flushed a little.

"Me? I-I'm fine," he nodded assuredly. The woman seemed quite unable to believe the statement but just smiled politely and scooted out of the room.

"We could just hear you pacing is all," she said quietly. Chuck turned and looked at his best friend amusedly after the woman left.

"Don't," the boy interjected before his injured friend could put a word in. Chuck smiled a little, pleased with his ability to annoy the friend that had close to abandoned him in the last month. He couldn't enjoy this little entertainment for long, he reminded himself. The pain meds didn't always last for as long as he'd hoped they would. And with the lack of relief came the reminder of Blair and the memory of how he'd lost her engagement ring. Something tightened inside him and he became weary all over again.

Nate noticed as Chuck put a hand to his head, probably feeling warm and a pain coming to that unforgiving spot on his forehead. He frowned and walked to the chair just a few feet away from the hospital bed.

"Do you need some more meds?" he asked softly. Chuck chuckled, though finding himself clutching about his torso from the renewed pain.

"Can't. Not for four more hours." His eyes closed in agony. Nate looked genuinely hurt and almost as if it was himself who had nerve knives cutting into his entire body.

"Please," he pleaded. Chuck hardly had any strength in that moment, but he managed to look up to Nate and glare.

"No," he said, determined as ever.

"Chuck, I know you guys had another fall-out, but…"

"It's not another fall-out. It's the last fall-out. As in, she couldn't care if I lived or died-type fall out." His fingers pressed harder onto the painful ache in his forehead, hoping it would dull a bit.

"You know that's not true—"

"Nate," he scoffed, clutching at his chest from the natural gesture, "I told you everything. How is it that you're not siding with Blair incredibly fiercely like you were before?" He was aghast, despite the pain.

"She's not the one who got shot!" he practically yelled, but forced himself to retain some of his composure when dealing with his sickly, stubborn best friend. Chuck sighed.

"I suggest you just accept it before another nurse comes in as a result of your temper tantrums."

Nate pursed his lips, his teeth clenching inside. When he said nothing more, Chuck relaxed further into the bed and made to take his daily nap – a ritual that had started from the first day he'd shared with the hospital, over a week ago. It seemed that, although he was rescued rather quickly and the wound appeared to have healed from infection, there were….other complications, and thus he had to stay. Normally, he'd insist on going back to whatever home he had and just trailing along hospital employees in his wake. But he didn't think there was much point to anything anymore. He certainly hadn't been the one to insist on Nate's presence in his room every day. Chuck Bass hardly meant a dime, except when dealing directly with money. He didn't want her to find out about what had happened. She had said she never wanted him to speak to her again. Him speaking through Nate was practically the same thing. No. He would not allow her to torture him with her pity, her indifference, or her scarring insults.

Quite prepared to go against Chuck's orders for the hundredth time, Nate reached for his phone, and for Chuck's just to be sure. But even with his eyes closed, Chuck snatched the devices and slipped them into a secret compartment beneath his bed. Stupidly, Nate had allowed that a lock only Chuck had be available to it.

"No," Chuck said again, his eyes shut in a deceivingly calm manner. He waited for Nate to say something in offense but it never came, and his memories played tricks on him, tortured him all over again, just like they had done the instant he got shot – the instant he'd lost his life completely. The visions of Blair wearing that engagement ring were now completely gone. He wished he had died on those dirty streets of Prague.

"Whatever you want to do to yourself, please don't do that to me."

"Leave her alone, Nate," he said, momentarily rising back to the surface. "And go home."

……..

TBC?