Chapter 4

A Closed Door

He spent the next hour working to clean up the mess he had made. After that was finished he decided to turn in. His body was aching and his head was throbbing again. Slowly he moved into his bedroom and climbed in bed. But he couldn't sleep. His mind kept thinking about the young woman and whether or not she has survived her suicide attempt. He kept telling himself not to get involved; there was too much heart ach ahead for anyone who got involved with a suicide victim. He also reminded himself that he didn't even really know the young woman very well. For two more hours he tossed and turned trying to get Elizabeth out of his mind, but finally he got up and called Rampart.

"Rampart Emergency Dixie speaking."

"Hi Dix."

"Johnny is everything okay?" Dixie was very much aware that Johnny had recently been injured and of how late it was and her mind was quickly flooded with possible complications that may have happened and that Johnny may be calling for help with.

"Yes Dix I'm fine. I was calling to see if Elizabeth made it?"

"Yes, Johnny she's alive and recovering."

"Thanks Dixie, now maybe I can get some sleep."

With that he hung up and crawled back into bed.

Johnny had tried to stay out of the turmoil in Elizabeth's life but something kept pulling him to check on her. It was around noon the day after, when he gave in and headed for Rampart. He had only gotten a few miles dwelling on the fact that, 'she had tried to kill herself right in front of me.' That's what made him so mad. 'Why did she have to bring me that damn lasagna.' He deciding that he didn't want to see her, and pulled into a parking lot to turn around but then he stopped and rested his head on the stirring wheel of his Rover. 'Why am I so worked up about her trying to kill herself? I don't even know her. I met her for the first time only 5 days ago and I'm not even interested in her.' He sat there for twenty minutes arguing with him self. Finally he gave in and committed him self to go see her and talk to her. He entered through the emergency entrance and stopped to visit with Dixie.

"Hey Johnny, what brings you by today?"

"Elizabeth." He replied with a deep sigh.

Dixie could tell that there was something bothering Johnny. "I have a break coming. Would you like to talk about it?" With a nod of his head the two walked down to the doctor's lounge.

After getting their coffee Johnny opened up and told Dixie what all had happened. "Why did she bring me the lasagna knowing full well that she'd taken a lethal dose of her pain medication?"

Dixie looked down at her cup of coffee and said, "Maybe that was her subconscious way of calling for help. Most people who try to commit suicide don't really want to die." She then looked back up at Johnny and said, "Remember the young woman that called the hospital a few years ago while trying to commit suicide. She had already turned on the gas and wouldn't give us the information that would save her but she did call."

A light came on in Johnny's eyes as he remembered that and many other suicide victims he had worked on. There were some who were serious about killing themselves, and they usually succeeded. Then there were the others who backed out at the last minute and others who called for help in other subconscious ways. Johnny reached over and laid his hand on top of Dixie's, "Thanks Dix. What room is she in?" They both returned to the base station and Dixie found out what room the young woman was in.

Johnny stood outside Elizabeth's door hoping that he would be able to do right by this young woman and help her find the will to live. He knocked on the door and listened for a reply, but when one was not given he took a deep breath and stepped into the room.

With a big smile on his face he greeted the young woman, "Hi Zib."

As soon as she saw who it was, she rolled over and turned her back to him. "Go away."

"Now that's no way to talk to your hero. I have now saved your life twice in less then a week."

"So you want me to say thank you. Pat you on the back and say good job. Don't hold your breath. You didn't do me any favors by saving my life, especially when I don't want it any more."

Johnny was not going to be dismissed that easily. He walked around her bed so he could see her face and said, "Well then enlighten me. Tell my why you think you have no reason to live."

Rolling away from Johnny again she demanded, "Get out."

"Nope. I'm not going to leave you alone until you give me a good enough reason as to why I should."

She sat up and jerked her head around to look at Johnny and screamed at him. "You want to know that I'm worthless. That all men want from me, is to use me and then toss me away! Well now you know. GET OUT!"

"Just because one man tried to rape you, doesn't mean all men will treat you that way."

"You don't know everything that has happened to me through out my life!"

"Enlighten me then!" He yelled back at her. But before she could respond the door swung opened and a nurse stepped in.

"What is going on in here? We can hear you two screaming all the way at the other end of the hall."

"This man is harassing me. I want him out and I don't want to see him again."

The nurse turned on Johnny and pointed towards the door, "You heard her, get out and don't come back."

With that Johnny spun around on the balls of his feet and headed for the door as he reached out for the handle he stopped. With out turning around he asked. "Why did you bring me the lasagna? You had already taken the medication. You knew you were going to die. I need to know why you wanted to do that in front of me."

Elizabeth dropped her head into her hands and started to cry. The nurse hurried over to the young woman as she gave Johnny a glaring eye, "Please leave before I send for security."

Johnny left with no intentions of coming back, ever.

With the way gossip spread it didn't take long for Dixie to hear about Elizabeth and Johnny's shouting match. Later that day when things were quiet Dixie stopped by to have a talk with the young woman. She knocked on the door and stepped in. "How are you doing?"

Elizabeth turned her head away and didn't respond. Dixie walked over to the young woman and took her wrist as if taking her pulse. "I heard about your shouting match today, mind telling me what it was all about."

In a low voice she replied, "It's none of your business."

With her no non-sense tone she calmly said, "Well I don't know about that, I'm a head nurse here at this hospital and that makes it my job. I want to make sure everyone is taken care of. Your hollering disrupted everyone on this floor and I'm sure it wasn't the best for you either."

"Well all you have to do is keep Mr. Gage out of my room and there won't be any more screaming matches."

"Johnny Gage is a good friend of mine; I don't believe he would want to hurt you. Would you let me in on what he said that upset you so much."

"NO I won't! Please leave!"

"Okay have it your way. However I feel I should tell you that all Johnny wants is to be a friend and to help you. And from what I recorded in your files the first time you were in here, I feel safe in saying you don't have enough friends to be turning any of them away. My name is Dixie and I would like to be your friend too. So if you should change your mind and decide you want to talk just send for me." Then she left her to think about what she had or didn't have.

Later that day Elizabeth was moved to the psychiatric ward where she could receive counseling and guidance to help her deal with her feelings of worthlessness and help her find happiness in her life again. She was kept there for a month before she was released.