Chapter 6

A Long Talk Opens Up Understanding

Johnny went back to his apartment and sat down to watch TV for a couple of hours until it was time to call and check up on Elizabeth. He picked up the phone and dialed her number. The phone rang six time's and Johnny was about to hang up and call for a squad when Elizabeth answered the phone.

"Hello," came a groggy voice.

"Hi Zib, this is Johnny. How are you doing?" There was a pause then she answered.

"I was sleeping."

"Please bear with me for a moment Zib. Since you won't let me take you to the hospital I'm going to do the next best thing. Every couple of hours or so I'm going to call you and ask you a bunch of stupid questions and if you can't answer them or if you seem confused or there is a slur in your voice I'm coming over to check you out personally. And if I find a need, I will take you to the hospital. Do you understand?"

Elizabeth didn't answer at first and Johnny asked her again, "Do you understand."

Finally she said, "What ever keeps you happy John."

"Well, that takes care of my first question, your obviously know who your talking too. So for my next question, what day is it?"

"Thursday, October 10, 1972."

"Good next, Do you know where you are?"

"With a sigh she replied, in my bed room talking to a nut on the phone."

Johnny had to giggle at her response, which helped to lighten the conversation. Then just to be silly he asked, "Have you walked your dog today?"

"Now that must be a trick question, let me see, do I have a dog? Hmm, Nope I haven't walked my dog today, I'll have to put that on my list of things to do tomorrow."

Then Johnny got serious again and asked, "How is your knee?

"It hurts and is a little swollen but I have an ice pack on it and I've taken some Tylenol. Now if you're finished with your questions, my I please go back to sleep?"

"Your wish is my command Zibbeth. But remember we will be talking again two hours from now." He heard her giggle as she hung up the phone.

Johnny stayed up reading a book while he waited for his next check in call to his neighbor and friend. This time she picked up on the forth ring, "Hello John."

"Hey, call me Johnny all my friends do."

"Okay Johnny, it's the middle of the night, on Thursday, October 10, 1972."

"Wrong answer Zib it is now twelve, fourteen in the morning of Friday, October 11, 1972."

"Okay I'll give you that one, so what is the next question."

"When year were you born?"

"1950, next question."

"Have you walked your dog yet?"

"Nope, that will have to wait until I get a dog."

"Would you like a dog?"

"Is this a medical question?"

"No, I was just trying to get to know you a little better, we are neighbors after all." There was a long pause. "Zib are you still there."

"Yes."

"Are you going to answer my question?"

"Well a dog is nice but I would prefer a cat. What about you do you want a dog?"

"A dog would be nice but I think I would rather have a horse first."

"I don't think it will fit into your apartment."

"That may be the very reason I don't have one." Both chuckled, and then Johnny asked, "How's your knee doing?"

"Same. Thou I think I should get up and go change the ice for something more solid and a little colder. So I guess I'll let you go until you wake me up two hours from now. Bye Johnny."

Johnny set his alarm to wake him in two more hours and climbed into bed and fell asleep.

Elizabeth was lying in bed awake when her phone rang. She had had one of her more frightening nightmares and was reluctant to go back to sleep. She picked up the phone on the first ring which surprised Johnny. "Are you in a lot of pain?" he asked.

"No, not really."

"You having trouble sleeping?"

"Bad dream."

"Oh," Johnny could hear some discomfort from her voice, "how's your knee and head doing?"

"They're complaining a little but other then that I'm okay."

"Want to talk about your dream?"

"Not about my dream." She sighed, "But it would be nice to have someone to talk to. Tell me more about your self Johnny. I know that you are a fireman/paramedic that likes to go around rescuing women in distress . . . ." She trailed off and waited to see if he would be willing to talk some more about himself.

"Tell you what, you ask me a question and then after I answer your question I get to ask you a question. Sound fair?"

"I want to add the prevision that we both have the right to refuse to answer any question we may feel uncomfortable with."

"Okay so if we don't want to answer a question we can ask for a pass and the other can ask a new question, agreed?"

"Agreed."

"First question," Johnny said quickly before Zib could ask him a question, "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"I had two step sisters but I've lost contact with them. What about you, do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"NO, I was an only child. Next question, what is your favorite color?"

"White. What's your favorite color?"

"All earth tone colors. What is your favorite food?"

They went back and forth asking each other simple questions for over an hour but Johnny felt an urge to ask a question he had already asked her once before but had not gotten the answer to. In a calm and quiet voice he asked, "Why did you want to kill yourself?"

There was a long pause and Johnny thought that Elizabeth was going to hang up, but finally she said, "I suppose I owe you that answer because of what I did to you that night. Then with a long and loud sigh she continued. Remember when you asked me that question in the hospital? And I told you that men only wanted to use me and then toss me away."

"Yes." Johnny had thought about that screaming match several times since that day, wondering what had happened to this young woman to make her believe she had no reason to live.

There was another span of silence, but Johnny just waited for her to continue. "What I'm going to tell you is not to be shared with anyone else, Ever!"

"I promise."

"This story will take some time to tell and I don't want to be interrupted."

"I understand."

There was another long pause, and then she started telling her story. My life was the best any little girl could want. I had the most important things in life, a Mother and Father who loved me and a home where I felt safe and protected. But then everything came crashing down when my Father died in a car accident. Mom and I where devastated. A couple of years later my Mom met and married another Man, who already had two daughters of his own. That's where my step sisters came into my life. They were nice to me and we got along well enough but not long after the marriage my stepfather started to molest me." There was a slight quiver in her voice as she continued. "This went on for two years. I started having a lot of bad dreams and my stomach ached all the time. Finally my mom took me to a specialist and after they ruled out any medical reason as to why this was happening, Mom took me to a psychotherapist. That was when it was discovered that I was being molested and that it was my step Father who was doing it. Mom was so devastated, she filed for a divorce and filled charges against him. The thing that hurt the most was that during the trial he was asked if he had molested his own daughters." There was a long pause, Johnny was about to ask if she was still there when Elizabeth continued to talk. "He told them that he would never hurt his own children." He was given a slap on the wrists so to speak but I don't know what all happened to him as we never saw or heard from them again.

It was a couple of years later when we moved into a new apartment building. We were living next door to a couch for the local high school. He had two boys and a foster girl my age. At first I went over and play with them a lot, but then the father started doing thing that my step father did. So I stopped going over there. I never told my mother. A year later they moved away.

Then in High School I had a crush on this boy. Rumors got around to him that I liked him and he asked me out on a date. He took me to dinner and then to a dance at the school, then later that evening he took me to make-out-ridge, at first we were just kissing but then he began touching me in way's I was not comfortable with and when I told him to stop he told me that I owed him for all the money he had spent to give me a good time. I got out of the car and walked home. I didn't get home until around two o'clock in the morning. My mother was so mad at me but I never told her what had happened. That boy wouldn't even give me the time of day after that. Not that it mattered, because after that I began to avoid men. I started wearing loss fitting clothing and stopped wearing makeup, so as not to attract their attention.

Then after I graduated from high school my mother got sick and passed away. I had this job in an office building as a secretary but after working there for a year the office manager started harassing me and touching me in ways he shouldn't. I retaliated by being rude and unfriendly but, no matter what I did to discourage him he wouldn't stop, so finally I quit. It was at that time that I began to think that I had developed a reputation some how and that as long as I stayed in that area I would have to deal with that kind of treatment. So I got a job here in Carson and you know what happened to me the first night I got here.

After that night I thought I had some how been marked, for all men to see what I was. It was at that time I decided I didn't want to live any more." Elizabeth stopped talking and waited for Johnny to say something next. She was expecting him to say some kind of goodbye and then hang up, and never talk to her again.

Johnny waited a long while before speaking. First he wanted to make sure Elizabeth had finished her story but he was also at a loss for words. This poor woman had been through a lot in her short life. He also understood why she was always giving him quick and cold response when he talked to her, and why she pulled away from the touch of another person and didn't want to be in the same room with him. His heart broke for her, but he didn't know what he should do or say to be of comfort to her. Finally he said, "Zib, I'm so sorry for all that's happened to you. I'm sure there is someone out there who will prove to you that all men are not like that."

"No Johnny, I'm soiled goods and as soon as a man finds out about my past he will either walk away or try to apply it to his advantage." Then with a sigh she thanked him for listening and said goodbye and hung up the phone.

As Johnny laid in his bed waiting for sleep to come he decided that he would do all he could to be Zibbeth's friend and prove to her that there was at least one man in this world that liked her and excepted her for who she was, with no strings attached.