Shattered 19
The cell door was kept open, and Norman was left by himself. He reclined on top of the blankets they'd laid out for him, and it wasn't long before he'd curled up protectively on his side and lost himself in troubled thoughts.
Poor Laney! We're hardly back together and I've ruined your life- I just know I have. If the detectives want to know about those policemen- everyone will know you were sleeping with a married man. All your fans- maybe- your career will be finished. How could I ever make it up to you? Oh God, why did this have to happen now?
But Laney was coming.
She knew the price, and she was coming. She must have realized what it could cost her, even if the media never caught on to their night together. There would be gossip, certainly. A cop, or clerk, or security guard who knew the details- maybe even someone who decided to make a buck and sell the story to a tabloid. Those rags were always looking for some celebrity to scandalize. or some dirty little secrets to expose. Apparently, there were things more important to Laney O'Donnell than career or reputation.
And privately, Norman Bates was proud to be one of those things.
He tried to feel confident- tried to believe beyond a doubt that the feelings she professed were as unshakeable as those he felt for her. Another man might not have been so hesitant to believe such a thing, so readily. But another man had not been through all that Norman had, including a marriage that started hopefully and ended quickly in betrayal and disaster. Naturally, this caused his thoughts to eventually turn to Connie.
Even before Mrs. Harrison's murder, and Laney's reappearance in his life, Norman was determined to leave her. Nothing would change that, though he had intended to slip away with much less fanfare. The only thing that had mattered before was getting away; now he had an undeniably better reason. Escaping domestic hell was made an even greater necessity, in having a peaceful haven awaiting him. He hugged himself as he lay on the cot, and even smiled to think of those other arms waiting to embrace him. He wouldn't let himself think of any other possibility.
Connie carried his child. A being he did not recognize as anything else but the unfortunate lasting result of a moment of passion. Let them think I'm a monster for denying its existence- and leaving that woman who took my name for the wrong reason. I don't care. They don't know what she did- they'll all take her side. The identity of 'they' and 'them' didn't matter- it could be all of society, all of the world- all of the nameless, faceless people who had never shown him much kindness, anyway.
It still didn't provide him with a solution to something more immediate. What was he going to do about Connie now? Go see her in the hospital, play the role of spouse once more just to tell her it was over? She must have known something was wrong, that the whole sham was falling apart. Waiting out all those months had been horrible, and after LaBelle, how could she imagine he would keep suffering in silence?
Tomorrow Laney will be here. Wait-it's already tomorrow. Before the day's out, I'll see her again. Maybe I should ask her. Any decision I make from now on will involve her, just like any she makes will involve me. That's the way it's supposed to be, isn't it? In a marriage. Two people trusting each other. I don't want to see Connie again, but I'll have to. And I don't want Laney to see her at all. I should go home and shave, and change my clothes. Take a shower…. He was rambling.
The murder, the police, his hours in custody- none of that mattered now. Mundane thoughts occupied his mind now; thoughts of looking clean and presentable when he and Laney met again and walked out of that place together. But he was tired so he decided to close his eyes and have a short nap before heading home. It turned out he needed sleep more than he realized, and twenty minutes of rest turned into hours.
Connie Bates had trouble resting that night. Her main concern of course was the baby. The doctors had spoken to her at length at the possibility of inducing labor once she was stabilized. She was a few weeks away from her due date, but they were certain the baby was healthy enough to survive the premature delivery. With the recent shock to her system and her nervous condition, it was the lesser of two evils.
She spent considerable time in those sleepless hours mulling over her marriage- or more precisely, wondering what there was left to it. At first she had been upset with Norman's absence, worried about him and wanting those broad shoulders to lean on, mainly so she wouldn't have to deal with ugly things herself. That weakness made her sick; it was a dependency she would rather do without. It was easier than recognizing her selfishness.
That sentiment gradually gave way to a sensation of fear, not unlike that curious twinge that caused her to lock her bedroom door that last night he was in the house. She began wondering if her husband could have had something to do with poor Mrs. Harrison's death. This fear- another weakness- was finally replaced with something more powerful, in the form of anger.
She recounted how irresponsible and thoughtless he had been to leave for Oakland in the first place. If he had nothing to do with the murder it would be an extremely odd coincidence. And if he was innocent, he should have been home with her and the baby. He should have never left a woman in so vulnerable a state, when anything might have happened regarding the pregnancy. Who could she rely on, if not a husband? Who was going to take care of the house? He owed her that much- she had given him a marriage, stability, a life free from the hospital- she was the responsible party, the foundation of his sanity- she practically owned him! It became impossible to excuse the likelihood that perhaps all the stress and pressure he may have been under could have pushed him over the edge again. Norman was not entitled to be away; that sudden absence could not be justified.
And now, Mrs. Harrison was dead.
It must have been Norman. It had to be. There is simply no other explanation for what happened. It's too great a coincidence. He's still dangerous- and I won't let him harm the baby!
Before the sun broke the horizon, she had made up her mind. She would contact those detectives, and have them see about a restraining order. How stupid! If he's guilty, they'll arrest him and he'll be kept away from us anyway! But what if- by some bizarre quirk of fate- he wasn't guilty? Or the police were sloppy and didn't arrest him right away? The restraining order was still a good idea.
She never expected to see him sitting beside her bed at 9 am.
He'd been there half an hour, just watching her sleep. He hadn't been home to shower, shave or change. He woke up on that cot in the cell and realized how long he'd been sleeping. Quickly, he decided he would deal with Connie first and have that part of the past done with before Laney ever arrived. He was resolved to keep them apart; this was his problem, and he would deal with it alone. Laney should be free of anything ugly- lord knows, I've gotten her in enough trouble already.
"Norman?" Connie drew a nervous breath as she whispered the name. One shaky hand reached for the button to call the nurse- but it wasn't there.
"They know I'm here." Norman explained. "I promised them I wouldn't be long."
"What are you doing here?" Where are the police?
"Are you….better?"
"Yes- no! Norman, they're looking for you." It was more of a threat than a concern. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.
"You mean the police? They found me. And they let me go."
"What?"
"I had nothing to do with what happened to Mrs. Harrison."
"Where were you?"
"Oakland. I told you. And last night, at the police station. Connie, I can't go through this anymore."
"What are you talking about? Go through what?"
"This." He spread his hands as if it was explanation enough. "I can't keep pretending. I won't. I don't love you, Connie. And I know you don't love me. I don't want the baby- I want a divorce."
"Norman." She sounded like Mother now. Like she knew better- like she could second guess him. "You're not making sense."
"No, that's the one thing I'm sure of. I'm finally making sense, all you need to do is listen."
His tone was calm, unthreatening- even polite. It was a strangely chilling voice that might easily inspire fear.
"You're my husband." Again, she sounded as if there should be no argument; she was right and he had better agree. "I know you're upset about … the other night. I'm sorry, but talking divorce because of it-"
"No. That was all my fault. If I hadn't been so slow to act, I wouldn't have been around for dinner at LaBelle. It just wouldn't have happened. That isn't the problem. It's only part of it."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm not happy. I'll never be happy…this way. You have the baby you wanted- you traded that for my trust, and our marriage. You lied to me to get your way. I've been thinking it over and planning for months, I want to go away and start over, and a divorce is the last thing I will ever ask you for."
Connie could not believe what she was hearing. More importantly, she couldn't believe her husband had been picked up by the police- and released. She was satisfied to believe he had killed Mrs. Harrison, lied his way out, fooled the police, and was every bit as sick and deadly as he had been 20 years ago. Either way, there was no possibility she could go on living with this person in her life- or anywhere near her child.
"Alright." She agreed with a nod. "I have no idea where you intend to go to 'start over', or even how you think you could. But as of this moment, I don't care about it. I won't contest the divorce, Norman. After everything that's happened-" He'll just think I'm accepting the blame….. "Go if you want. But you can never come back."
That was fine with him. He had no intention of ever acknowledging this miserable, unfortunate part of his life. She and her child would be as dead to his memory as Mother. He stood up suddenly, and for a moment Connie was afraid.
"You have nothing to worry about. I won't be back. You'll never see me again, the lawyers can handle all the details. I just want my freedom, and a chance to live my own life, free of the past, and far from California."
There were no words of regret, no farewells, no further attempts at communication. Norman turned and left the room feeling clean and renewed. It wasn't as hard as he thought it would be, and the nurses saw him smiling as he cheerfully wished them good bye. Connie felt relieved, only slightly ashamed that a second attempt at marriage had failed. She rubbed her belly softly and realized it was in fact the best resolution for everyone concerned.
Norman squinted in the bright sunlight as he hurried to his car. The police told him that Laney wouldn't arrive before noon. Plenty of time to go back to the house, shower and move the rest of my things out.
A new day, full of promise, and the start of his own life, at last.