Chapter 17: Tactical Espionage Action, Final Fantasy Style
I didn't envy Tifa's job as driver. Despite my wanting to drive, the vicodin made my feel tired, and seeing as the drive took all night, you can see why me driving would have been a bad idea. It didn't take me long to fall into a dreamless sleep.
My awakening left much to be desired though.
"Get off of me!" A certain someone yelled in my ear.
I shot up, heart racing. I never react well to someone yelling in my ear at the top of their voices at the best of times. When it's done to wake me up, I'm going to be really cranky. Blinking, I glared at Yuffie, who returned the glare in full force.
"Get off of me!" She repeated.
What does she mean, get off of her... Ah, that's what she meant. In my sleep, I had rolled on top of her. I blame the cramped conditions that are the back of a pickup truck. Grumbling, I picked myself up and hopped off of the truck, now she can't complain, though I'm sure she'll find something to moan at me about later. People usually do.
"Are we there then?" I asked Tifa, yawning.
"We've been here for 3 hours." She yawned, getting out of the truck. "No sense waking you kids up just to look for an inn to fall back asleep."
I ignored the kid comment, stretching, and swallowed the latest dosage of painkillers. So, we're at Junon. I wonder whether our fearless leader has arrived yet. Probably. He's probably in the inn right now, talking to his inner voice. Yawning, I looked at Junon and grunted, pulling a sour face.
"Ugly looking place." I remarked. "Just how useful is that cannon supposed to be?"
"No idea." She replied, looking up at the cannon in question. "I don't think it's ever actually been used before."
I grunted. Well, whatever helps them sleep a night. Junon reminded me a bit of Midgar. It wasn't circular, with sectors, but it did have the same kind of architecture. The poor live at ground level; the rich live in the mostly inaccessible upper levels. Hell, from where I stood, I could see a tower that stood higher then the rest of the city. Not by much, but still just high enough to be recognised as the Junon Shinra HQ. Hard to tell if it's in the centre of the city, but I think it is.
With a deep breath of the fine morning air, I began to trek down the hill to the second biggest city I've ever seen. The first biggest being Midgar, as I'm sure you guessed. I could hear the others following behind me at a steady pace. Any monsters that made a habit of charging at us were quickly warded off, Red casting fire to burn them.
As we approached to coastal city, we could dimly hear trumpets and other musical instruments. From the distance we were from the city, it must have been loud. Probably deafening for the poor saps who were actually in the city. The closer we got, the louder and clearer the music became. By the time we reached the village that was the slums of Junon, I could hear the music as clear as day. Very familiar music.
"What is that noise?" Yuffie complained, holding her hands over her ears.
"It is a miserable monstrosity that is commonly believed to be music." I answered, a frown that wouldn't go away etched over my features.
"What's the occasion?" Red asked, looking miserable.
I don't envy his hearing. I'm suffering enough his my normal human sense of hearing, what he's going through must be torture. However, down the street, someone was bobbing their head in tune with the so-called music.
"Barret! What are you doing?" I shouted out.
Yuffie looked at who I was shouting at and gulped, learning just who Barret was, and why I'd made the comment about loving to see her try to steal his materia. The Mr T wannabe looked up and grinned at the sight of us, though he frowned slightly at the sight of Yuffie. Probably wondering who he hell she was.
"Yo!" He greeted.
"Where's Cloud?" Tifa asked.
Barret pointed at an inn we'd passed by.
"He still hasn't woken up." He informed us.
Tifa nodded absently, walking to the inn in question, Yuffie, Red and myself watched her go, all three of us with a knowing smirk.
"She's blatantly in love with this Cloud guy, isn't she?" Yuffie asked.
"That would be a 'yup'." I grinned.
"Though the only people who don't seem to know are Cloud and Tifa themselves." Red commented.
"Love is blind." I mused, striking a pondering pose.
"What's this about love?" Aeris asked, walking up behind us.
Red and me coughed, embarrassed. What do we say to the other girl who loves Cloud? Yuffie must have read our uncertainty, because she didn't say anything. Red turned to Aeris, nodding.
"Nothing. Just, musing..."
Aeris gave the three of us a look, the look lingering on Yuffie, before turning to see Cloud walking out of the inn with Tifa. Cloud's gaze lingered on Yuffie for a couple of seconds, but Tifa said something, we were too far away to hear what, but it was probably explaining that Yuffie was now following us around like a lost puppy.
Then, from out of the blue, I was knocked aside by a blur, and from the sound of Yuffie grunting, she had shared a similar fate. When I look to the side, Red was the only one still standing. Typical. Following the blur's trail, I found a young girl, probably a year or two younger then myself, speaking at the speed of light to Cloud, who's eyes were looking dazed, as he tried to keep up with what the girl was saying. She was speaking loudly; I could hear her voice echoing through my skull. She was like a banshee, god, that voice will melt my brain if it doesn't stop.
I did manage to pick up snippets of the one-sided conversation; Shinra was mentioned once or twice, a thank you and that she'd give him something special, before she finally stopped talking and handed Cloud a red orb. A summon Materia.
Ah, so that's Priscilla. And that Materia was Shiva.
The girl walked off, allowing the blonde swordsman to equip his new Materia, and come over to the rest of us. The swordsman gave Yuffie a look, before checking that he had all his Materia, prompting an indignant groan from the ninja in question.
"What's with this music?" He groaned, after several seconds, frown etched on his face. "I can barely hear myself think."
"If you think it's bad here, try listening to it inside the city proper." Red responded, looking up at the wall that marked the end of the village and the beginning of the city.
Cloud pulled a face, thinking on that for a brief moment.
"I think I'll pass, if it can be avoided." He grunted, massaging his forehead.
Another look at the group, and he started headed in the general direction of the banshee. Barret and I followed after him, sharing a look of concern. He seemed out of it, like he hadn't properly woken up. And he kept massaging his forehead.
Cloud led us to the beach, where Priscilla stood, staring out to sea. Cloud moved towards her, considering what to say, but Barret beat him to the punch.
"What's that music? It sure sounds lively."
The girl jumped slightly, turning around and spotting the black man.
"I heard that they're rehearsing the reception for the new Shinra president." She said, before turning back to the sea.
"Rufus!? I gotta pay my respects." Barret growled.
"You can do that after I've gotten compensation for his ruining my last coat." I grunted, still fuming at the amount my replacement coat had cost me.
Priscilla ignored us, just gazing out to sea. If she were standing on the edge of a cliff, that would make the image I'm seeing look all the more cheesy.
"Grandpa and grandma told me this beach was beautiful when they were small." The girl spoke up after a minute, not really to any of us present. "But after the Shinra built that city above, the sun stopped shining here, and the water got polluted… I was raised on that story and hate Shinra so much, I could die!"
Halfway through that monologue, the rest of the group arrived on the beach. There was a long silence again, before Aeris decided to cut through it.
"You think Rufus is thinking about crossing the ocean from here, too?"
Tifa looked up, frowning, before giving a responding question.
"What? Does that mean Sephiroth already crossed the ocean?"
"We gotta get to the town up there… Mebbe we could climb the tower?" Barret mused, looking at the tower jutting out of the water about 50 yards away.
"No! No!" Priscilla snapped, turning around sharply. "There's a high voltage current running underneath the tower. Don't wander near it, it's dangerous! But…you might be able to if Mr. Dolphin helps you."
"High voltage tower…" Tifa mused, before looking up, smiling. "…I guess this means Cloud'll be all right."
"Yeah, better leave it to Cloud!" Aeris agreed.
Looking mildly amused, Red jumped aboard the bandwagon. "We're counting on you, Cloud!"
I wasn't about to be left out.
"Better you then me." I smirked.
Cloud looked distressed at our conscripted him for the dangerous task of climbing a high voltage tower. "Hey! Wait a second!"
Everyone but myself and Barret scattered to who knows where. Cloud was fuming at our apparent betrayal, but then sighed in resignation. He knew when he was beat. He turned to Priscilla, nodding at her to show whatever she wanted to show. The girl pulled a whistle out of her pocket and blew on it.
At the sound of the whistle, a dolphin leapt out of the water and did a flip, before landing gracefully back under water.
"Now ain't that something! I ain't never seen no Dolphin jump like that!"
I was inclined to agree. The closest I'd ever seen was in Free Willy, when the whale leapt over the kid in that now famous scene. But that was a whale, not a dolphin.
"Pretty cool, huh?" Priscilla grinned. "When I blow this whistle, Mr. Dolphin jumps for me. Here!! This is for you, Cloud!"
Cloud accepted the whistle, looking confused. God, our fearless leader can really be clueless sometimes.
"A gift? What am I supposed to do with it!?" He asked, looking at the silver whistle in his hand.
"Just go into the water, blow this whistle and Mr. Dolphin'll jump you to the top of the pole!" The girl explained.
"Jump to the top of the pole?" Still, the blonde was confused.
"See that rod sticking out at the top?" Priscilla pointed at a pole about 15 feet up the tower. "If you jump just right, you can climb to the top of the town."
Barret and I laughed at Cloud's face as he stared up at the pole he was to get to, eyes wide.
"What did I get myself into?" He asked himself, pulling his sword free from it's harness and passing it to Barret. "This'll just weigh me down. Look after it."
Barret accepted the Buster Sword, stabbing it into the sand.
"Good luck Cloud!" He grinned. "If you make it, we'll follow you! Whoa, I'll hold the PHS for you. It'll break if it gets wet."
Cloud handed over his phone, and Barret pocketed it, before grabbing the Buster Sword and resting it against his shoulder. Cloud dived into the water and put the whistle to his lips.
"Wish me luck." He muttered, before blowing.
The dolphin swam under Cloud and then changed course and swam upwards, jumping from the water and throwing Cloud while at it. The swordsman gave a small yelp of surprise, but it was cut short when he slammed into the pole.
I winced in sympathy as he groaned in pain, slowly pulling himself up. That probably took the breath right out of him. Once up on the pole, he gave half hearted wave and sluggishly moved to the ladder that would raise him into the city. I turned to Barret, who was laughing like there was no tomorrow.
"You don't expect me to do that... right?" I asked.
He stopped laughing, though his eyes would regularly move to where Cloud had hit the pole and would snigger.
"No, I wouldn't put you through that, we don't..." His smile left his face as a new thought hit him. "We don't have the whistle anymore, so we can't, even if we want to."
'Oh look, a flaw in our plan. Hands up those who spotted it coming.' Spike hissed in my ear.
"So how do we get ourselves inside the city?" I asked, irritated.
Priscilla, who had been listening, turned to us.
"You could try the elevator." She pointed out. "But its guarded, and the guard reports regularly."
Both Barret and I frowned, trying to think up a new plan.
"How about we bribe him." I suggested. "Offer him a hundred gil, and he might let us up, no questions."
Barret gave me a look that spoke volumes about what he thought of that idea. The thing was, he couldn't think up any better, and he sighed, realizing that bribery might be the only way to go.
"It was yer idea, you go bribe him, while I round the others." He grunted, stalking off.
"But I don't know where the elevator is!" I shouted after him.
Either he didn't hear me, or he didn't care. He soon vanished from my sight. Sighing, I turned to banshee girl, who was examining me.
"Why do you wear that lizard costume?" She asked, after a brief moment of silence.
If I were an anime character, I'd have done one of those weird faints that they do when stupefied by something. However, I'm not, so therefore I didn't. I merely groaned, bringing my face to my palm.
A few minutes later, I was at the elevator, Priscilla buggering off to show the rest of the group where it was. I looked at the guard and narrowed my eyes. The idiot was asleep, how the hell did he not expect people to take advantage?
I therefore jumped when he straightened himself suddenly, and brought a radio to his mouth.
"Nothing to report." He spoke into it, before falling asleep again.
Ok... that was odd. Strange man...
Shrugging to myself, I walked up to the snoozing man and stood in front of him. As if he sensed my presence, he opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to get the sleepiness from his eyes. Once he could see clearly, he experienced a prime view of my handsome mug... and he panicked.
"Ahh!" He screamed. "Don't eat my soul!"
'Charming.' Spike sniggered in my mind.
Well... this could be used to my advantage.
"Let me and my friends use this elevator, and I'll spare your soul."
The man nodded at a grand speed of several miles per hour. Any faster, and I doubt he'll still have a head to nod with.
"Good. However, if you tell anyone of this encounter, I will come back for you."
Maybe I went a little too far... the guy just wet himself.
Flinching, I backed away slightly, sighing. Well, at least I had a ride. Giving the guard a weary glance, I stepped past him and into the elevator.
"Remember to let my companions up." I reminded him. "They'll be the ones with a huge guy with a swearing problem."
The doors shut, blocking the sight of the nodding guard. Grunting, I hit the button on the control panel, raising the elevator. It slowed as it neared the top of the shaft, grinding to a halt at the door that'd let me into the city. I opened the door and took a peek, only to jerk my head back.
Great, lots and lots of Shinra troops. That really makes my job easier.
Frowning in thought, my eyes rolled across a cardboard box, laying in the corner. Smirking slightly, I grabbed it.
Hey, it worked for Solid Snake, who's to say it won't work for me?
Well, that was my mentality, at least. Propping the box over my head, I crouched down, hiding myself within it. The perfect disguise. Now that that was done, I opened the door and crawled out, laughing to myself at the obliviousness of the guards. Now all I had to do was find my way to the docks.
"Huh... What was that?" A voice said.
Cursing, I stopped moving and pretended to be an ordinary cardboard box. A trooper moved up to me and peered at the box that was my disguise, frowning.
"Just a box." he eventually declared, moving away.
I took several steps away from the guard, trying to navigate the streets. Damned city was like a maze; at least, it was while I was hiding in a box that hindered my view somewhat. I stopped at the sight of a large, and I mean large group of Shinra thugs moving towards me.
I'm cursed, I have to be. There is no other explanation for my stumbling into the path of the parade.
The parade ignored the box that was me, believing it to be an ordinary box. I mean, who goes around examining every single cardboard box they come across in detail? Bringing my eyes to the hole, I watched the parade, trying to ignore a horrible feeling that had crept up on me.
'You realize that you need the toilet, don't you?' Spike laughed.
The bastard... I was trying to ignore it. Now that it has my attention, it feels that much worse. It didn't help matters that he started to make sounds associated with water falling. Is he trying to make me wet myself?
My mind was drawn away from my dilemma when I noticed a group of soldiers at the mouth of an alleyway. Even though he was dressed in the typical generic soldier uniform, it was easy to tell Cloud apart from the others. His hair peeked out from under his helmet.
One by one, the soldiers joined the parade, marching into an opening in the formation and acting as if nothing had gone wrong. However, it took Cloud two attempts before he managed to actually get into an opening.
Another couple of minutes, and then the end of the parade was in sight. Another full minute of soldiers marching past me, and then it was over. No more parade. Cue the victory fanfare.
Now if I could just find a toilet, I'll be happy.
'Rain rain rain comes down down down...'
Spike... Shut up!
Sighing in relief, I exited the public toilet, grabbing the box from where I'd left it. Getting back into my disguise, I started along the street, hopelessly lost. I'd spent a quarter of an hour just wondering around searching for the bog, and in the process had completely lost track of where I was.
Damned city should include a map, then this sort of thing wouldn't happen. Unfortunately, in all my inner ranting about the lack of a map, I wasn't watching where I was going. As a result, I walked into someone.
"Ow, hey, watch it!"
I know that voice.
Looking through the hole I found myself looking up at a certain female Turk. Tia was looking around, trying to find someone, a suspicious frown gracing her features.
"Who ya looking for, Tia?" Another familiar voice asked, with a yawn.
Reno walked into my field of vision, stretching.
"Whoever just threw this box at me!" Tia growled, glaring at the box in question.
"You're imagining things." Reno muttered, shaking his head. "This is an empty street, no one to throw any boxes at you."
"Well this box wasn't here a minute ago." Tia insisted, giving my cardboard armour a kick.
"What are you suggesting?" Reno smirked, starting to walk away. "That the box just walked here by itself?"
The female gave the retreating redhead a glare, before turning to follow him. I took that opportunity to try and walk away, unnoticed. I think Tia must have sensed the boxes movements though, because she gave a yell that told me that I'd just been caught.
This is the point where I move as quickly as I can into a random alley and hope that she doesn't find me. Or maybe...
Smirking at my great planning skills, I skid into an alley and ditch the box, making sure it was still upright though. I then slid into the shadows, trying to hide. Barely a second passed before Tia flew into the scene, quite literally. Her flying kick connected with the box and sent it flying. Reno slid in just after her, and burst out laughing at the sight of the empty box being kicked.
"Smooth." He smirked, putting away his rod. "Way to tell that box its place."
Tia growled, teeth grit as she tried to set the box alight with the power of her mind alone. Reno couldn't stop laughing. He started to walk out of the alley, not even trying to contain with amusement.
"Well, I'll be at the usual place. Once you've finished chasing your own shadow, meet up with the rest of us."
And with that, Reno was gone. Now, I'm alone with the woman who had completely thrashed my team not so long ago. Smirking, I unsheathed my gunblade and crept up on the bitch. She didn't suspect a thing until the blunt side of my blade connected with the back of her skull. The Turk fell to the ground, out like a like light.
Now, how to stop her from alerting the rest of the city that she got attacked? At least until AVANLANCHE was out of the city... oh, that's easy. Prevent her from being able move until some random person finds her. And to do that...
Grabbing her unconscious form, I sighed and began to undo her belt. Once I had the belt removed from her, I used it to bind her arms to her sides and then used her tie to bind her feet together. There, now she can't move... But she still has her voice. That could be a problem... Unfortunately, I couldn't think of any way to block out her voice, and so simply tossed her into a nearby dumpster and left it at that. I'm probably going to regret doing this later, but for now, I'm going to relish in my victory, I managed to knock out a Turk who took down a three person team. And tossed her in with the garbage.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to regret this later.
I eventually found my way to the dock. Well, that wasn't exactly true, more like I was taken to the dock. Turned out my cardboard armour was mistaken for something needed to be on the cargo ship that was due to leave today. And I was thus taken to the ship in question.
It wasn't a very glamorous looking thing. In fact, it was downright ugly. And crawling with Shinra troops. Lots of them. Oh God... I feel sea sick already. I'm going to be forced to stay in the hold, no fresh air, just claustrophobic conditions.
Once the coast was clear, I ditched the cardboard box and instead hit in a small crevice formed by the stacks of crates. I could see out, but unless they knew what to look for, nobody would be able to see me. After a small while of waiting, The rest of AVALANCHE, minus a certain blonde, walked aboard, all dressed in disguises.
Wait, is that Red? I asked myself, at the sight of the very odd looking Shinra soldier, who was sort of dancing on the spot.
It was; the furry snout coming out of the helmet was a giveaway. The group sort of stood around briefly, before nodding amongst each other, and going their separate ways. Yuffie and Red stayed near the loading ramp.
"I wonder when Spike and Cloud'll get aboard." Yuffie said, eyes scanning the docks. "Hopefully they won't miss the ship."
Red gave a short nod, but turned to look at where I was hidden. Smirking, I crept out from my little hiding spot and stood behind the ninja.
"I'm sure neither will miss the boat." Red assured the brat, through his face had what I had learnt to be a smirk.
"I'm pretty damned sure that I won't miss the boat." I boomed out, clamping a hand down on Yuffie's shoulder.
The ninja jumped, barely suppressing what was probably a scream. She turned to face me, fist raised. Looking peeved as me and Red burst out laughing.
"Oh, real funny! That's really mature!" She ground out.
"You're one to talk about maturity." I countered.
The ninja opened her mouth to make a retaliatory comment, but Red looked out at the dock, sharply, bringing our attention to him.
"Rufus is coming." He warned us.
Since I wasn't in a disguise, not like any but the cardboard box would actually work with me, I crept back into my hidey hole, safe from prying eyes. Since Red's disguise was less then perfect, he also hid, taking cover inside an open crate.
From my vantage point, I could see Rufus walk in after a large group of troopers, one of whom had blonde hair sticking out from under his helmet. The soldiers performed a reception for Rufus, ending with a very familiar move. Y'know, we're really lucky that Rufus never saw Cloud doing his victory move, else our cover would be blown. As it was, he just looked very impressed.
"Well done. Keep up the good work for Shinra, Inc." He said, taking a step forwards.
He nodded to Heidegger, who grabbed a bundle and handed it to Cloud.
"Gya haa ha…!! Here's a special bonus for you!! A token of the President's kindness! Don't forget it!"
Rufus turned to Heidegger, and began speaking, ignoring the soldiers.
"Once the world gets out that Sephiroth's here, Cloud and his friends will show up, too." Rufus said.
'We're already here.'
"We'll crush them as soon as we find them!" Heidegger gloated.
"We can't have them get in our way." Rufus nodded.
"Leave it up to me, sir!" The fat man laughed.
"I thought I told you to stop that stupid laugh…" The new president sighed.
The fat man gave a sound of dissatisfaction, venting his frustration on a couple of the troopers. Once he was done and had left the area, following his President, the commander of the troopers shouted out a dismissal.
I stopped listening after that, it wasn't really anything important. After a while, the ships horn blew, warning everyone that it was due to leave soon. Cloud quickly hopped up the boarding ramp, obviously not eager to be left behind.
Not long after that, the ramp raised itself, and the ship took off.